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  #101  
Old 10-08-2019, 05:47 PM
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It's a shame the schedule rotation landed on the AFC East (Dolphins & Jets) playing both the AFC North (Bengals) as well as the NFC East (Redskins).
It'll be like Highlander, only with crappy football teams.
  #102  
Old 10-08-2019, 06:40 PM
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It'll be like Highlander, only with crappy football teams.
I didn’t see the end of the game between the Bengals and Cardinals. Did Kyler Murray scream with lightning streaming into him after the win?
  #103  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:24 PM
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No way that screen pass on the 2-pt conversion was ever going to work. The Dolphins are going to win this thing, because they're trying harder (to lose)!
  #104  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:26 PM
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That was pathetic, and par for the course.
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  #105  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:49 PM
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Dolphins stay on top in their race to the bottom.

I may have got that wrong.
  #106  
Old 10-13-2019, 05:21 PM
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It was a well orchestrated one point loss, you know, to fool the skeptics. I can imagine Brian Flores telling Ryan Fitzpatrick to take it easy. We made it look good, but we don't want to win here. Fitzpatrick complied, even though he knows his efforts are designed to replace him.

Last edited by Harrington; 10-13-2019 at 05:23 PM.
  #107  
Old 10-13-2019, 07:03 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
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  #108  
Old 10-13-2019, 09:15 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
The return of Sam Darnold, clearly.

And, just like that, we're down to two winless teams: the Bengals, and the Dolphins.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 10-13-2019 at 09:17 PM.
  #109  
Old 10-16-2019, 12:58 PM
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Week Six Fallout


And then there were two...

The Redskins won because the Dolphins went for a two-point conversion instead of a tying point after. This was probably because a tie at the end of overtime was feeling inevitable.

The Jets got their 1st Round QB back and beat the Cowboys. This disappointed fans of the awe-inspiring ineptitude, but delighted every non-Dallas fanbase in the country.

Here are our remaining Two Telentless Teams, sorted by yards gained minus yards allowed. Also shown is average margin of loss, and their next opponent:
Miami Dolphins 0-5, -205.6 yds/gm (-27.6 ppg) at Bills (4-1, +4.0 ppg)
Cincinnati Bengals 0-6, -118.3 yds/gm (-10.3 ppg) host Jaguars (2-4, -2.3 ppg)

I'll now include 1-win teams, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-4, -137.8 yds/gm (-12.0 ppg) host Patriots (6-0, +23.7 ppg)
Washington Redskins 1-5, -98.5 yds/gm (-12.8 ppg) host 49ers (5-0, +16.6 ppg)
Atlanta Falcons 1-5, +2.5 yds/gm (-8.5 ppg) host Rams (3-3, -0.2 ppg)
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  #110  
Old 10-16-2019, 02:52 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
How 'bout: "The hype surrounding that team from Texas was overblown after they won 3 games against three of the worst teams in the N.F.L. this season and now they're being shown for what they really are - 'just another team' masquerading as a S.B. contender."
  #111  
Old 10-16-2019, 03:36 PM
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Somebody is going to “win” the NFC East.

I’d bet the Eagles right now.
  #112  
Old 10-23-2019, 12:47 PM
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Fun little twist on the upcoming Miami vs Steelers game:

Quote:
Miami has the 2019 Steelers first round pick. Handing them an L on Monday night would move the Steelers into the bottom 5 records. Winning for Miami would move them from 1 to 2, and they would still be in control of their “Tua destiny”, as losing out from that point gives the Jets wins and the Bengals a win. This would guaranteed move the back into the #1 overall 2019 pick.
  #113  
Old 10-23-2019, 02:49 PM
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I'll now include 1-win teams, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-4, -137.8 yds/gm (-12.0 ppg) host Patriots (6-0, +23.7 ppg)
I definitely think the Jets deserve to be back in the race after a monumentally pitiful effort against the Patriots.

Coming off a solid performance against the Cowboys (quarterback rating 113.8), Sam Darnold was close to hopeless (11 completions, 4 interceptions, one lost fumble, QB rating 003.6, troubled by "ghosts").
  #114  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:39 AM
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Week Eight Ramifications


I missed a Week Seven update, but never fear, nobody won then.

After a Monday Night scare early, the Dolphins reverted to being very Dolphin-y, giving up 27 unanswered and never scoring again. Way to not give up on the dream, guys. They even got a little extra salt rubbed in by letting one of their tank trades intercept them twice.

Meanwhile, the Bungles literally fell over themselves to give Cooper Kupp a career day, and generally acted as the Washington Generals so the Rams could give Londoners a show.

Here are our remaining Two Substandard Squadrons, sorted by sacks per game. Also shown is average margin of loss, and their next opponent:
Cincinnati Bengals 0-8, 1.13 sacks/gm (-10.8 ppg) on BYE
Miami Dolphins 0-7, 1.29 sacks/gm (-23.0 ppg) host Jets (1-6, -15.3 ppg)

None of the 1-win teams won, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-6, 1.29 sacks/gm (-15.3 ppg) at Dolphins (0-7, -23.0 ppg)
Washington Redskins 1-7, 2.38 sacks/gm (-12.0 ppg) at Bills (5-2, +1.7 ppg)
Atlanta Falcons 1-7, 0.88 sacks/gm (-10.6 ppg) on BYE

Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. Somehow I don't think there will be ghosts to see in Hard Rock Stadium. (Or, as my two-year-old would put it, "No rawrs. All gone rawrs.") But then again, the green New York City team is fully capable of shooting themselves in the foot.

The Bills should pad their wildcard resume against Washington. Who'll start at QB and will they finish the game?
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  #115  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:53 AM
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Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. Somehow I don't think there will be ghosts to see in Hard Rock Stadium. (Or, as my two-year-old would put it, "No rawrs. All gone rawrs.") But then again, the green New York City team is fully capable of shooting themselves in the foot.
The "attempted" 2-point conversion at the end of the Washington game was pretty definitive proof that the Dolphins are losing intentionally, and they will not be denied. The play had absolutely zero chance of succeeding. Had the Redskins just stepped aside, I'm certain Fitz still would have just thrown the ball at the RB's feet. It was the most obvious dive I've ever seen in the NFL.
  #116  
Old 11-03-2019, 09:19 PM
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...
Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. ...
Sure enough, the Dolphins screwed themselves by winning. Proving bad teams can't even tank properly. According to tankathon.com, they'd pick 4th if the draft happened now.
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  #117  
Old 11-05-2019, 06:52 PM
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we're #1!!! We're #1!!! We're #1!!!
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  #118  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:42 PM
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I think the Bengals would definitely pick a QB at #1.

Or #2 #3 or #4.

I picked "Tank for Tua" for the thread title because it sounds catchy, but it seems Tagovailoa is underperforming. Justin Herbert, too.

I haven't really gotten to watch any college football. Anybody else have a scouting report for top prospects?
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  #119  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:44 PM
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The good news for the Dolphins is that they still play the Bengals and the Jets again. So if they lose out they'll be back in the #1 spot.
  #120  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:57 PM
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I picked "Tank for Tua" for the thread title because it sounds catchy, but it seems Tagovailoa is underperforming. Justin Herbert, too.

I haven't really gotten to watch any college football. Anybody else have a scouting report for top prospects?
Is Joe Burrow a senior? He could be the next Tom Brady.
  #121  
Old 11-10-2019, 07:45 PM
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Cincinnati is the lone winless team and Washington is the only one win team.
  #122  
Old 11-10-2019, 08:03 PM
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Giants are still in it having lost to the Jets today.
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Old 11-12-2019, 11:28 AM
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Can I brag that I bet the Dolphins ML this week?
  #124  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:38 PM
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Is Joe Burrow a senior?
Bombing for Burrow? Blow it for Burrow? Being Bad for Burrow?
  #125  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:46 PM
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Is Joe Burrow a senior?
Redshirt senior, yes.
  #126  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:56 PM
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Bombing for Burrow? Blow it for Burrow? Being Bad for Burrow?
How about “Burrowing in the Dirt”?
  #127  
Old 11-15-2019, 11:57 AM
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Bengals still winless, but still have Miami and the Jets on the schedule. Skins have the Jets next, and probably no other winnable games after that, so if they lose this Sunday, they could have a real shot at the top pick. #2 pick, for them, is effectively just as good.
  #128  
Old 11-16-2019, 01:52 PM
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Tua Tagovailoa got carted off the field after convincing Nick Saban to let him play one more series in a blowout.
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  #129  
Old 11-16-2019, 08:01 PM
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Bengals still winless, but still have Miami and the Jets on the schedule. Skins have the Jets next, and probably no other winnable games after that, so if they lose this Sunday, they could have a real shot at the top pick. #2 pick, for them, is effectively just as good.
With so many holes in the ‘Skins, I don’t see them going for a QB unless something crazy happens. Haskins will get at least one full season as starter.
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  #130  
Old 11-16-2019, 09:10 PM
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Tua was initially rumored to have a fractured hip, but the latest is a dislocated hip, which doesn't sound much better to me but apparently is.

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With so many holes in the ‘Skins, I don’t see them going for a QB unless something crazy happens. Haskins will get at least one full season as starter.
2020 is allegedly deep at OL and WR. I could see Washington accidentally drafting some quality players trying to support Haskins.
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  #131  
Old 11-19-2019, 09:20 PM
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Sidebar please.

What does “Tank for Tua” mean?
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  #132  
Old 11-19-2019, 09:48 PM
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Sidebar please.

What does “Tank for Tua” mean?
"Tanking" is a term for intentionally losing -- in this case, in hopes of getting the #1 draft choice next year.

"Tua" is Tua Tagovailoa, the Alabama quarterback who, at the beginning of the season, was projected to be the #1 overall draft choice next year. (And, as mentioned in the previous posts, Tua suffered a bad hip injury on Saturday.)

A few years back, when Andrew Luck was going to be entering the draft, the term "Suck for Luck" was coined (i.e., suck this year, so you might have a chance to draft Luck next year). Since then, people have tried to come up with similar pithy terms for the "race for the bottom" in the NFL each year.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 11-19-2019 at 09:49 PM.
  #133  
Old 11-19-2019, 09:49 PM
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Sidebar please.

What does “Tank for Tua” mean?
Tanking is a term for a sports team intentionally playing badly.

Tua is Tuanigamanuolepola Tagovailoa, the quarterback for the University of Alabama football team. He has a very good reputation and will be entering the the pros next year.

For more context:

Each year, before the start of the season, NFL teams have a draft for the new players coming out of college football programs. The teams with the worst records in the previous season get the first picks.

So there is speculation that some teams are deliberately attempting to have a bad record this year so they will get the first draft pick and be able to sign Tagovailoa for their team. They are "tanking for Tua".
  #134  
Old 11-19-2019, 09:54 PM
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Tua was initially rumored to have a fractured hip, but the latest is a dislocated hip, which doesn't sound much better to me but apparently is.


2020 is allegedly deep at OL and WR. I could see Washington accidentally drafting some quality players trying to support Haskins.
OL help would be great and the ‘Skins need a cornerback as well. I have no idea what to think of Haskins this season, the team is truly dreadful. Guice at RB and McLaurin at WR are potential bright spots, haven’t had Guice healthy long enough.
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  #135  
Old 11-19-2019, 09:59 PM
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Since the QB position is so important in NFL football, it can be seen as a smart investment if you have one bad season, then draft a great QB that you can build a team around for a decade or more of success.

But football history is chock full of amazing college QBs who fail in the NFL. And overlooked QBs who get drafted very late and become generational talents.

Examples of good-to-great QBs who are starters in the NFL include Tom Brady, Russell Wilson, and Dak Prescott.
  #136  
Old 11-26-2019, 08:30 AM
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Bengals at 0-11 now, but the only unwinnable game they have in the last five weeks is against New England.

They play the Jets and the Dolphins, and two against the Browns. Cleveland are clearly a better team than Cincinnati, but divisional games in the AFC North are nearly always tough, no matter the actual W-L record of the teams involved.
  #137  
Old 11-26-2019, 08:58 AM
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Can this thread be renamed "The Chase for Chase" now?
  #138  
Old 11-26-2019, 09:07 AM
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Can this thread be renamed "The Chase for Chase" now?
I prefer "Fall Down on Your Face for Chase".
  #139  
Old 11-26-2019, 09:10 AM
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Redskins screwed themselves by beating the Lions. The Lions really didn't want to win that game it seemed. Still looking at a top-4 pick, but likely eliminated from #1.

Giants win all strength-of-schedule tiebreakers, followed by Miami and Washington for all teams currently 2-9 (.182 win %).

If the Giants, Dolphins, Redskins, Broncos, and Falcons all end the season 3-13, SOS tiebreakers are:
Giants (.466)
Dolphins (.506)
Redskins (.509)
Broncos (.537)
Falcons (.571)

and would pick 2-6, in that order.

If the Giants, Dolphins, Redskins all end the season 2-14, same order.
  #140  
Old 11-26-2019, 11:28 AM
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I prefer "Fall Down on Your Face for Chase".
I like that, but I think it's more euphonious if you drop a word:

"Fall on Your Face for Chase"
  #141  
Old 11-26-2019, 12:04 PM
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Even simpler:

Last Place for Chase
  #142  
Old 11-26-2019, 12:13 PM
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Bengals at 0-11 now, but the only unwinnable game they have in the last five weeks is against New England.

They play the Jets and the Dolphins, and two against the Browns. Cleveland are clearly a better team than Cincinnati, but divisional games in the AFC North are nearly always tough, no matter the actual W-L record of the teams involved.
The Jets are actually on a bit of hot streak right now. It's winnable for the Bengals, of course, but right now at this moment the Jets are about even with the Browns.
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Old 12-01-2019, 04:37 PM
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And the Bengals win. They had a chance, but noooooo, they just had to beat one of the other shitty bottomfeeders.
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  #144  
Old 12-01-2019, 07:22 PM
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One more win for the Bengals and the Giants have a strong shot for #1 pick.
  #145  
Old 12-01-2019, 08:01 PM
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One more win for the Bengals and the Giants have a strong shot for #1 pick.
One of the saddest things I've ever read (about sports).
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  #146  
Old 12-01-2019, 08:06 PM
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One of the saddest things I've ever read (about sports).
Giants were mismanaged for so long by a dolt of a GM, I'm don't mind if we manage to pull off a complete collapse this year. They need to get a lot better and hopefully fast.
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Old 12-03-2019, 08:39 AM
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And the Bengals win. They had a chance, but noooooo, they just had to beat one of the other shitty bottomfeeders.
They kicked the shit out of them too.
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  #148  
Old 12-03-2019, 12:05 PM
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Giants were mismanaged for so long by a dolt of a GM, I'm don't mind if we manage to pull off a complete collapse this year. They need to get a lot better and hopefully fast.
...are you... do you mean... are you talking about Jerry Reese? He... he won two Super Bowls. I'll grant that the 2007 one was mostly Ernie Accorsi's team, although Reese drafted the Giants leading rusher in the Super Bowl with a 7th round pick.

But the 2011 team was on Reese. He drafted Hakeem Nicks (at the end of the first round!) and Mario Manningham (in the third round!) and found Victor Cruz (Victor Cruz!!). Again, he drafted Ahmad Bradshaw. He drafted Jason Pierre-Paul in the middle of the first round. He drafted Aaron Ross and Linval Joseph.

I mean, I'm not going to argue that Reese was an all-timer, or even that he was better than Ernie Accorsi. He made some bad calls, and probably should have been fired before he was. But "a dolt of a GM" is a fairly stunning thing to call a guy who brought two titles to the Meadowlands.

Last edited by storyteller0910; 12-03-2019 at 12:06 PM.
  #149  
Old 12-03-2019, 02:04 PM
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...are you... do you mean... are you talking about Jerry Reese? He... he won two Super Bowls. I'll grant that the 2007 one was mostly Ernie Accorsi's team, although Reese drafted the Giants leading rusher in the Super Bowl with a 7th round pick.

But the 2011 team was on Reese. He drafted Hakeem Nicks (at the end of the first round!) and Mario Manningham (in the third round!) and found Victor Cruz (Victor Cruz!!). Again, he drafted Ahmad Bradshaw. He drafted Jason Pierre-Paul in the middle of the first round. He drafted Aaron Ross and Linval Joseph.

I mean, I'm not going to argue that Reese was an all-timer, or even that he was better than Ernie Accorsi. He made some bad calls, and probably should have been fired before he was. But "a dolt of a GM" is a fairly stunning thing to call a guy who brought two titles to the Meadowlands.
When you fail, year after year to address the lines, you have failed as a GM. So yes, I am talking about Jerry Reese. How is it everyone knows success begins at the lines but he didn't. He hit some big home runs but forgot to keep the foundation intact.
  #150  
Old 12-03-2019, 04:35 PM
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When you fail, year after year to address the lines, you have failed as a GM.
I would rather have a GM who failed year after year to address the lines and won two Super Bowls than a GM who addressed the lines but didn't put together a winning team. I don't care how he did it; he did it. Twice! Did you not... I mean, did you not enjoy that?
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