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Old 09-10-2019, 02:09 AM
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Weird toys


Were toys always this weird, or did I forget something between my kids and my grandkids?

My granddaughters have these...things. They have a unicorn head, with a horn. Then there is a long, white, plush cylinder (no legs) which ends with a little plastic reservoir. (One pink, one purple--no idea what other colors they might come in.) The plastic reservoir has bubble soap in it and when you squeeze the cylinder, bubbles come out of the unicorn's horn. Ha, there is no way to refill the bubble reservoir, so when it's empty, it's empty. Double Ha, bubbles come out if you squeeze it but if you lay it down, it just leaks out. And finally...it's white? No no no.

Weird toy number two: Bowling for pumpkins. A bowling set where the pins are an ear of corn, an eggplant, three tomatoes stacked on each other, celery (I think) and stuff like that, and the ball is a pumpkin. It is not a perfectly round pumpkin but at least it doesn't have a stem. Really hard to get a strike with this thing. Or hit anything at all.*

Who thinks these things up? And is there money in it?

Last edited by Hilarity N. Suze; 09-10-2019 at 02:12 AM. Reason: *Plastic, not real veggies. Thank goodness.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:17 AM
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Oh, I'm sure there's plenty of money in it!

My 7 yo granddaughter loves useless toys. She has who knows how many Squishees. They're just pieces of foam that come in all sorts of shapes and sizes - donuts, unicorns, pineapples, pizza slice, dogs, etc. You squish them and they kind of stay squished for a little bit and then return to their original shape. That's it.

Another of her favorites a few years back was Shopkins. Tiny little pieces of colorful plastic that were in the shapes of whatever you can imagine would be in a store....with eyes. A basket of tomatoes, a couch, a stick of butter, a single shoe, an ironing board, the sky's the limit. Then, of course, you could buy all sorts of things to go with them - checkout lanes, grocery carts, houses, swimming pools, etc. She had loads of them. When she'd leave our house, I'd find teeny, tiny pieces of those things everywhere. I think I've picked up the same ladle that's the size of a fly 15 times!
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Old 09-10-2019, 04:27 PM
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I think toys have been wonderfully strange for a long time.

I've got an action figure from The Tick. It's . . . Man-Eating Cow! Squeeze her and her mouth opens revealing a human foot!

There was a deep ugly phase in toys aimed at boys during the eighties. Really Rude Ralph was a disgusting, goblin like diesmbodies head. Pull his bulging eyeball and he said one of 8 phrases or made burping and farting noises.

When she was very young, my niece was frightened by my sound activated crawling zombie hand. Later, she loved it and would ask me to bring 'the green moving hand' when I visited.
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Old 09-10-2019, 04:41 PM
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The first thing I thought of was the Six Finger. I still remember the commercial.
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:00 PM
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Hey, when I was growing up they had Garbage Pail Kids. That shit would not fly today.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garbage_Pail_Kids
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:04 PM
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Garbage Pail Kids were sold as mystery figures (you know what figures are in each line, but not what figure is in the box you are buying) as recently as two years ago. I contemplated buying one many times at Walgreens, but they were just too expensive.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:02 PM
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One Christmas season saw booming sales of Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow. For some reason kids were enchanted by the commercial and begged their parents for these toys. The toy was around for a few years but it was one of the top sellers around 1980 during the Christmas toy season.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:20 PM
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When I was a kid at one point a popular toy was called Slime, which was exactly that; a plastic bucket of colored slime. There was also Slime With Eyes that included plastic eyes, and Slime with Worms that included rubber worms.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:22 PM
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One Christmas season saw booming sales of Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow. For some reason kids were enchanted by the commercial and begged their parents for these toys. The toy was around for a few years but it was one of the top sellers around 1980 during the Christmas toy season.
I had one. But it was less weird IMHO than Stretch Armstrong and the green guy.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:43 AM
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When I was a kid at one point a popular toy was called Slime, which was exactly that; a plastic bucket of colored slime. There was also Slime With Eyes that included plastic eyes, and Slime with Worms that included rubber worms.
I remember that! We had it as kids (the plain version without worms or eyes, but I remember those too). After a few days of playing and smacking the stuff upon every surface imaginable, it became a grimy, dirty goo nobody still wanted to play with, and a nightmare for our mother who INSISTED to trash it immediately.
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Old 09-11-2019, 11:09 AM
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A year or so ago, I was at a young kid (4-ish)'s birthday party. One gift was some kinda plastic monkey like thingey. As I recall, it didn't do anything other than make noises and/or vibrate if you touched it in certain places or turned it in certain directions. When I expressed my bewilderment, someone assured me that they were all the rage among little kids, and were something the birthday girl REALLY wanted.
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Old 09-11-2019, 12:28 PM
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I had to Google this for a few minutes to confirm that I wasn't hallucinating a toy that consisted of a small piece of tissue filled with gunpowder*:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bang_snaps

I don't remember for sure, but I think in my neighborhood we called them pop rocks, which is why I had such a hard time understanding a certain urban legend that came along a few years later.



* such was our understanding at the time
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Old 09-11-2019, 12:43 PM
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I had to Google this for a few minutes to confirm that I wasn't hallucinating a toy that consisted of a small piece of tissue filled with gunpowder*:
...
They still sell these, don't they?

Some weird toys from my childhood (60s) were these discs on a string with rings on the ends. You'd grab the rings and spin the strings which would make the inner discs spin rapidly. Might even have cool psychedelic patterns on the discs. Whoa - heavy! ISTR making cheapo imitation versions using buttons on string...

Then there was the bent piece of metal wire - a loop attached to a handle such that the 2 sides were parallel to each other, and the loop folded back on itself. By squeezing and relaxing your grip on the handle, you could make a plastic disc go back and forth on the loop.

I guess we were pretty easily amused back then!
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Old 09-11-2019, 12:45 PM
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They still sell these, don't they?
Googles ...



Indeed they do.
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Old 09-11-2019, 12:59 PM
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...
Some weird toys from my childhood (60s) were these discs on a string with rings on the ends. You'd grab the rings and spin the strings which would make the inner discs spin rapidly. Might even have cool psychedelic patterns on the discs. Whoa - heavy! ISTR making cheapo imitation versions using buttons on string...

Then there was the bent piece of metal wire - a loop attached to a handle such that the 2 sides were parallel to each other, and the loop folded back on itself. By squeezing and relaxing your grip on the handle, you could make a plastic disc go back and forth on the loop.

...
This looks like the 1st.


This is the 2d.
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Old 09-11-2019, 08:53 PM
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Then there was the bent piece of metal wire - a loop attached to a handle such that the 2 sides were parallel to each other, and the loop folded back on itself. By squeezing and relaxing your grip on the handle, you could make a plastic disc go back and forth on the loop.
A gyro wheel! They had them for sale at the hospital gift shop last week. I saw them while waiting for my grandson's cochlear implant surgery. I thought about getting one for him, then realized it would be for me, and I have enough useless stuff.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:03 PM
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I loved the Original Miracle Clackers

They were the best thing since Lawn Darts. They lasted approximately one week at my school, after one guy broke his wrist, and another received penetrating acrylic shrapnel through his face. Fantastic!
  #18  
Old 09-12-2019, 12:44 AM
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A gyro wheel! They had them for sale at the hospital gift shop last week. I saw them while waiting for my grandson's cochlear implant surgery. I thought about getting one for him, then realized it would be for me, and I have enough useless stuff.

The brand name is Whee-lo. (My grandmother was early-retired and provided childcare for the children/grandchildren of her extensive family for years before I came along, so I inherited more or less all of the popular toys from the 1960s and had all the ones from the 1970s bought for me.)
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Old 09-12-2019, 07:54 AM
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One of my nephews got a new Transformers toy while we were on vacation. I believe it was this one, the new Starscream. He asked me to help him transform it and for the life of me, even with the instructions I could not figure it out.

It's not like I've never seen these things before, I had a lot of the original line of toys, but this one was not like those at all. The old ones were complex, but it was generally fairly obvious what you needed to do to transform them. The old Starscream transformed like a Robotech Veritech fighter, because it was exactly a Robotech Veritech fighter toy with different colors. This one you had to twist around, and force his arms through a hole in the wings or something like that, it was a total mess.

After 20 minutes I gave up on it. Sorry, kid. This thing is makin' me feel old!

.

Last edited by DCnDC; 09-12-2019 at 07:55 AM.
  #20  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:41 AM
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The old Starscream transformed like a Robotech Veritech fighter, because it was exactly a Robotech Veritech fighter toy with different colors.
I thought it was Jetfire who was the Robotech ripoff.
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Old 09-12-2019, 10:49 AM
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I thought it was Jetfire who was the Robotech ripoff.
All of the decepticon planes were based on that same design. In fact, the entire original Transformers toys lineup was just a bunch of mostly unrelated toys from the Japanese market, licensed and combined into a single line by Hasbro for American consumption.
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Old 09-12-2019, 12:37 PM
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Even as a child in the 1960s, I found Flatsies disturbing.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:46 PM
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Let's hear it for... Gay Blade!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bR7YU062TD...0/DSC01013.JPG

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AYsIxCuyeH...gay-blade1.jpg


Originally released by MPC, the eight figurines in the set received new paint jobs and names when Frito-Lay packaged one mini-monster in each bag of corn chips back in the late '60s. Thus, "Evil Executioner" became "Gay Blade."

It was a different time....
  #24  
Old 09-12-2019, 02:05 PM
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Let's hear it for... Gay Blade!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bR7YU062TD...0/DSC01013.JPG

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AYsIxCuyeH...gay-blade1.jpg


Originally released by MPC, the eight figurines in the set received new paint jobs and names when Frito-Lay packaged one mini-monster in each bag of corn chips back in the late '60s. Thus, "Evil Executioner" became "Gay Blade."

It was a different time....
I was going to comment "I can't help but be curious what his relationship was with Bony Tony." But then I thought, nah........
  #25  
Old 09-12-2019, 02:40 PM
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All of the decepticon planes were based on that same design. In fact, the entire original Transformers toys lineup was just a bunch of mostly unrelated toys from the Japanese market, licensed and combined into a single line by Hasbro for American consumption.
Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp (the 3 initial Decepticon planes) were indeed the same design in different colors. They were NOT based on any Veritech design I know of.

Jetfire definitely was a ripoff of a Veritech. Although his backstory is that he used to be a Decepticon, he was released as an Autobot.

https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Jetfire_(G1)/toys

Back To The OP

Kookie Camera

Imagine if Dr Seuss and the Looney Tunes created a functional plastic camera. Needless to say, I want one very much.
  #26  
Old 09-12-2019, 03:47 PM
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Maybe a bit too realistic: Happy Hungry Baby Alive dolls are described, by their manufacturer, Hasbro, as:

Quote:
Baby LOVES to eat! She opens wide, moves, talks, drinks, “pees,” and “poops.” Mix up her favorite food, give her water from her sippy cup, then change baby’s diaper!
And, the Gooey Louie game. As described on its web site:

Quote:
Pick a winner with Gooey Louie™–who “nose” what you’ll find when you dig in and try? But watch out . . . if you pick the wrong gooey from Louie his eyes will pop, he’ll flip his lid, his head will pop open, and his brain will fly out!
The manufacturer also makes games entitled Doggie Doo and Pop the Pig (in which the goal is to overfeed a pig, but not to the point where his stomach explodes).
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Old 09-12-2019, 05:30 PM
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The Trash Bag Bunch


Nowadays, the idea that you don't know what figure you have until you buy it and open the box is common. It was not always so.

The Trash Bag bunch came in little garbage sacks. You dropped the sack in water. It rapidly broke down while fizzy tablets fizzed. This revealed what figure you had. There were some awesome looking figures in the bad guy side. http://toyarchive.com/TrashBagBunch/TrashBagBunch.html
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Old 09-12-2019, 06:03 PM
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I was really into classic horror movies as a kid. I also built a lot of model kits from Aurora. Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy, Creature From The Black Lagoon...etc. At that time they also had some model kits depicting various torture and execution scenarios. I would see them on the store shelves along with all the other model kits and even at age 8-9 I thought that was just too creepy.

From a GIS for Aurora models, vintage 60s, torture chamber

GIS first page

Last edited by River Hippie; 09-12-2019 at 06:07 PM.
  #29  
Old 09-13-2019, 12:22 AM
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Slime is still around. Unfortunately. My granddaughters have buckets of the stuff. Instead of eyeballs and worms, it now comes in neon colors with sparkles! The stuff sticks to fabric (especially upholstery) and then spreads out so that it is impossible to remove.

The kids are always hauling that crap over to me. That's because I call it snot, and I threaten to wrap it in a Kleenex and throw it away, like all other snot.

If that's not bad enough, a "recipe" for slime was posted online, and kids everywhere just HAD to make their own! It caused a run on Elmer's Wilhold glue and store shelves were empty for weeks.

Nasty stuff. It looks like snot. It feels like snot. It's snot.


~VOW
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Old 09-13-2019, 06:45 AM
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What kid wants a toy that Stinks?.


Wood burning kits aren't weird, but marketing them to kids is. Ours said "Ages 8 and up". Goddamn near burned ours and the neighbors house down.
  #31  
Old 09-13-2019, 01:34 PM
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Jetfire definitely was a ripoff of a Veritech.
He wasn't a ripoff, any more than any other TF was a ripoff of the various Diaclone, Microman, Beetras, etc that they were based off of...Hasbro licensed a Veritech toy from Bandai before Macross (in the form of Robotech) got licensed, and used it as the basis for Jetfire...but not very long before, which resulted in Jetfire getting a redesign (and, weirdly, rename) in the cartoon.
  #32  
Old 09-13-2019, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River Hippie View Post
I was really into classic horror movies as a kid. I also built a lot of model kits from Aurora. Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy, Creature From The Black Lagoon...etc. At that time they also had some model kits depicting various torture and execution scenarios. I would see them on the store shelves along with all the other model kits and even at age 8-9 I thought that was just too creepy.

From a GIS for Aurora models, vintage 60s, torture chamber

GIS first page
Man, that lady in the red halter top and daisy dukes was just out of luck.
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:11 PM
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I sit corrected.

Back To the OP

From The Real Ghostbusters

Fearsome Flush. It's a haunted toilet. It looks normal, but push it along and- the tank opens to reveal eyes and the bowl lid opens to reveal a mouth and long tongue.

I LOVE this thing.
  #34  
Old 09-13-2019, 04:49 PM
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I have a gyro wheel. I couldn't pass it up when I went to buy a baby gift 20 years ago. Whenever someone new to my home comes over, they get all excited about it and I insist they play with it for a while. Memorabilia can be a great ice breaker. I have a few tin flywheel cars from the Soviet era in Hungary, some key-wind vehicles, and a fancy kaleidescope. I was once caught without any toys for kids to play with so I went and got some toys. The adults like to play with them too. The cats are a little afraid of the cars.
  #35  
Old 09-15-2019, 12:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River Hippie View Post
I was really into classic horror movies as a kid. I also built a lot of model kits from Aurora. Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy, Creature From The Black Lagoon...etc. At that time they also had some model kits depicting various torture and execution scenarios. I would see them on the store shelves along with all the other model kits and even at age 8-9 I thought that was just too creepy.

From a GIS for Aurora models, vintage 60s, torture chamber

GIS first page
I had the model guillotine as a kid, complete with victim whose head would fall off when the blade fell. It gave me my first good practice at trying to paint realistic flesh colours (and, of course, a bloody stump where the neck would be severed).
  #36  
Old 09-16-2019, 11:54 PM
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I had the model guillotine as a kid, complete with victim whose head would fall off when the blade fell. It gave me my first good practice at trying to paint realistic flesh colours (and, of course, a bloody stump where the neck would be severed).
I had a couple of those too, or one like it. The guillotine had a little basket that the head fell into.
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