Straight Dope Message Board

[Wesley Clark]

I really don't have a list, I can only come up with a few decent ones right now.

Wild horses - rolling stones

New year's day - U2

Look on down from the bridge - Mazzy star

Apparently Always look on the bright side of life is a popular funeral song. Lovely Day - Bill Withers would probably be a good song too.

I wonder if anyone picks Behind the Scenes by MC Ren. I'd doubt it.

[Pai325]

Funeral or the wake? I'm Catholic and they are pretty strict about what can be played in church at the funeral.

The wake at the funeral home should be wide open, though.

[Baker]

Originally Posted by Pai325

Funeral or the wake? I'm Catholic and they are pretty strict about what can be played in church at the funeral.

The wake at the funeral home should be wide open, though.

I'm not Catholic, I'm a member of the Episcopal church and it's about the same. I'd have to have two lists, one for in church, the hymns and pre service music and another list for when people gather to visit and eat.

Gotta think about this, I'll come back later.

[Wesley Clark]

Originally Posted by Pai325

Funeral or the wake? I'm Catholic and they are pretty strict about what can be played in church at the funeral.

The wake at the funeral home should be wide open, though.

The wake, either/or.

[I. Dunno]

Joan Baez version of Dylan's Forever Young

Gordon Lightfoot Mr. Rock of Ages

Neil Young Long May you Run

St. Louis Jesuits Before The Sun Burned Bright

Mary Chapin Carpenter Between Here and Gone


Have had this list for a while now. Not in any particular order as of now. Don't expect to need it any time soon so there could be additions or changes. Might add In My Life as it's my favorite Beatle song.

[Trinopus]

Charles Alkan's Funeral March for a Parrot.

That's all that's needed!

[kopek]

One I'm insisting on and have already arranged for at my (Lutheran) funeral: Rainbow Connection. Sung by everyone there I hope and if someone can lead it as Kermit the Frog even better.

Other than that one no popular song (non-sacred) really grabs me enough to have it as part of the service. But if the funeral home pipes some metal through their soundsystem mixed with some classic rock, I won't object.

[Magiver]

If it's in church you have to have something with some organ music so....
A Whiter Shade of Pale

There's a somber feel to it yet a timeless quality.

And in case the one who got away shows up.....
]Nights in White Satin

Also something that would resonate well in a church and has a timeless quality to it.

[nightshadea]

the only song that I need at my funeral is social distortions "when the angels sings " although I might throw in bad religions "better off dead " too just for the shock value .........

[Magiver]

Have to finish the music with a Monty Python video of "Dead Parrot.

[Pai325]

Originally Posted by Wesley Clark

The wake, either/or.

For the wake? I don't care. Whatever my husband and daughter want to hear. Although I have been thinking of doing a one-day funeral wake, where I'm just hanging around the church, people come in, pay their respects to my husband and daughter, and then stay for the funeral or leave. We just moved up her to be close to our daughter and maybe know five people in town, if that, so I'm not expecting a crowd. My husband knows a lot of people in Chicago, so you never know, though. It will make it difficult to arrange the funeral luncheon at a restaurant. I wonder if hot dogs at Portillo's would be considered lower class? I'm sure people would drive the 90 minutes from the suburbs for a funeral and a good hot dog.

So now, as I think of that, I'm in church for both, so nothing secular. Probably a CD of some nice Latin music playing quietly during the wake portion of the morning's entertainment.

So, Ave Maria ((Schubert), Be Thou My Vision, Amazing Grace, I Know My Redeemer Lives, and maybe Panis Angelicus or Holy God We Praise Thy Name.

There are a couple more I like, so I may be back. I need a processional, recessional, Communion song, one near the Creed, and that's about it, so I may not even need five.

My sister really wanted Smile, Though Your Heart is Breaking. She didn't get it at the funeral, but she got it at the wake.

[Desert Nomad]

Two by John Denver

Wings That Fly Us Home
Rhymes and Reasons

[jtur88]

Is there a song about wishing that they don't even find my body? Except that would be a grave inconvenience for those sorting out my estate, I guess the price I have to pay for a death certificate it to make my body available for all the attendant indignities.

[zoogirl]

I have told everyone that I want my funeral to open with Spirit In The Sky full blast. That should wake everyone up. I also want Alice Cooper, of course, so I think it should be I Love the Dead and maybe Cold Ethel. My friends will expect it. Gotta have Stairway to Heaven. That will probably be last, as everyone is heading out. Let's see, one more...oh heck, better have Amazing Grace. No solo. Everyone sings!. Oh, one more Alice! School's Out!

[snoe]

Magnetic Fields' "Meaningless": https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SBkliCY-6Zk. I have thought about funeral playlists before; this song is always on them.

A great breakup song, but the lyrics are vague enough it works almost as well from beyond-the-grave. Emotional tone: bittersweet mixture of explicit nihilism and implicit "still, that was pretty awesome."

Plus the bridge is so damn funny:
"And if some dim bulb should say / we were in love in some way,
Kick all his teeth in for me -
And if you feel like keeping on kicking, feel free"

[aceplace57]

At church funeral
Sweet By and By
Precious Memories
Amazing Grace
What a Friend We have in Jesus
Old Rugged Cross

Our family has never held wakes.

That's about it for music.

[kopek]

Originally Posted by aceplace57

At church funeral
Sweet By and By
Precious Memories
Amazing Grace
What a Friend We have in Jesus
Old Rugged Cross

Our family has never held wakes.

That's about it for music.

I could live (sorry -- bad pun intended) with a couple of those during my funeral; the classics are often the best. One though that I have warned my wife and cousins will cause me to claw my way out of my casket and start the zombie apocalypse ---- On Eagles Wings. I can't explain just why but that song, especially at funerals, is just nails-on-a-chalkboard to me.

[Gatopescado]

Play Mountain Jam 10 times in a row. Nobody gets nothin' if they leave early.

[Foggy]

Atheist, don't and never wanted a funeral/wake.
No money/plans/anyone for one.

Never thought about music.

[stui magpie]

AC-DC highway to hell to be played when they carry the coffin out.

Other than that, i don't care. I plan to be dead at my funeral, not in the audience.

[Dangerosa]

Originally Posted by kopek

I could live (sorry -- bad pun intended) with a couple of those during my funeral; the classics are often the best. One though that I have warned my wife and cousins will cause me to claw my way out of my casket and start the zombie apocalypse ---- On Eagles Wings. I can't explain just why but that song, especially at funerals, is just nails-on-a-chalkboard to me.

I've threatened to come back and haunt them if I hear On Eagles Wings.

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Amazing Grace

[John Mace]

I mean this not as threadshitting, but just to offer another perspective:

I'm all for funerals, although we generally call them "a celebration of life", but as an atheist I've always believed these events are for the living. Let the folks who know and care about me select the music they would like to hear. This is their gig-- I'm gone.

[Dangerosa]

Originally Posted by John Mace

I mean this not as threadshitting, but just to offer another perspective:

I'm all for funerals, although we generally call them "a celebration of life", but as an atheist I've always believed these events are for the living. Let the folks who know and care about me select the music they would like to hear. This is their gig-- I'm gone.

They are for the living, but for them to be comforting to the living, they also have to be about the dead. Its stressful to the living to not know what your wishes would have been - at a stressful time. So, if you can leave some instructions - simple ones - "cremation, wake, someone reads "Crossing the Bar," crank up some Pink Floyd and drink" it can make it a hella less stressful.

(Someone who had to do the funeral arrangements for someone who didn't leave clear instructions - and then had the family arguing about what needed to be done - with lots of stress and recriminations and "that isn't what he would have wanted" and "but that isn't what I want" - and then three months later - we found the instructions )

[purplehearingaid]

The only music I want is the sound of nature. I told me daughter I want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed with my hearing dog then taken to the woods and throw toward the river . I don't want to waste land ,I want to save it for the livings and wildlife. I will also want my dog I have to be cremated if he dies after I do and also have his ashes mixed in too . I told a lawyer I wanted to have my ashes mixed with my hearing dog ashes and the lawyer put in my will " to mix the ashes well " LOL!

[RTFirefly]

Paul Simon, "Graceland"

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I’m looking at ghosts and empties
But I’ve reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

Roxy Music, "More Than This"

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they're blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

George Harrison, "Hear Me Lord"

At both ends of the road
To the left and the right
Above and below us
Out and in, there's no place that you're not in
Oh, won't you hear me, Lord

[gigi]

Mass:

Sing With All The Saints in Glory
How Can I Keep From Singing?
What Wondrous Love Is This*
Love Divine All Loves Excelling


*Because it contains the excellent:

And when from death I'm free, I'll sing on, I'll sing on
And when from death I'm free, I'll sing on
And when from death I'm free, I'll sing and joyful be
And through eternity I'll sing on!

Than I have a Death Mix playlist I want burned onto thumb drives for attendees which contains a bunch of favorites having to do with friendship and love and excitement about the next life.

[Ulfreida]

Originally Posted by Dangerosa

I've threatened to come back and haunt them if I hear On Eagles Wings.

....

I hear ya on that one. I cantor Catholic funerals and if I have to sing that one more time .... gah.

I'm going for Mozart's Requiem Mass in D Minor. Live with orchestra. Most larger choirs know it so it wouldn't be impossible to find singers. If I could pull out all the stops I'd go for Bach's Mass in B Minor. That would kick my ass right up to the pearly gates.

[peedin]

I'll rise from the cremains if I hear Amazing Grace. I hate that song. Hateithatehateit.

I'd like Ava Maria, In the Garden, How Great Thou Art, Bringing in the Sheaves.

[Boyo Jim]

Paint it Black and Sympathy for the Devil by the Stones
The Leader of the Pack -- who was it, the Shirelles?
I Hold Your Hand in Mine and Poisoning Pigeons in the Park -- Tom Lehrer
We'll Meet Again -- Vera Lynn
Down to the River to Pray and Whiskey Lullabye -- Alison Krauss
Bad Things -- Jace Everett
--

[Dale Sams]

5-10??? Why would I put anyone through that? Will my enemies be forced at gunpoint to sit there??

Anyway, "Funeral for a Friend" and on the second half, I'm going to bust out of the coffin and play a rocking guitar solo.

[gigi]

Originally Posted by kopek

I could live (sorry -- bad pun intended) with a couple of those during my funeral; the classics are often the best. One though that I have warned my wife and cousins will cause me to claw my way out of my casket and start the zombie apocalypse ---- On Eagles Wings. I can't explain just why but that song, especially at funerals, is just nails-on-a-chalkboard to me.

Heh. I was born in 1968 just in time for the 1970s wasteland of Catholic music, so of course my best friend's funeral (1988) featured OEW. Flash forward 20+ years to a friend's daughter's funeral -- again with the OEW! NOOOO!

Whenever there is some amorphous glurge being sung, I always look down and (c) 1987. And it's someone like Marty Haugen or Iona Community.

[Arrendajo]

Surprise me.

[Chefguy]

The Hebrew Slaves Chorus from Nabucco. Probably the most beautiful chorus ever written.

Night on Bald Mountain, by Mussorgsky, just because it would freak people out.

The Stroke, Billy Squier because of its solid rock construction.

Unsquare Dance, Brubeck Quartet because it's a bit confusing.

A Song For You, as sung by Ruby Wilson

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by Dangerosa

They are for the living, but for them to be comforting to the living, they also have to be about the dead. Its stressful to the living to not know what your wishes would have been - at a stressful time. So, if you can leave some instructions - simple ones - "cremation, wake, someone reads "Crossing the Bar," crank up some Pink Floyd and drink" it can make it a hella less stressful.

(Someone who had to do the funeral arrangements for someone who didn't leave clear instructions - and then had the family arguing about what needed to be done - with lots of stress and recriminations and "that isn't what he would have wanted" and "but that isn't what I want" - and then three months later - we found the instructions )

OK, OK, OK.

Start off with Gimme Shelter by the Stones, then blend into Let the Sunshine In by The Fifth Dimension, and segue into Into the West by Annie Lennox.

[scootergirl]

Originally Posted by Arrendajo

Surprise me.

You got it, honey! And do the same for me if I go before you.

[Shagnasty]

Hallelujah (Shrek version)
Hell's Bells - AC/DC
Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
Hounddog - Elvis
Take Me Home (Country Roads) - John Denver
Amazing Grace
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
William Tell Overture for the finale (The Lone Range song)

I want to mix it up with a little ambiguity and confusion the same way I live my life.

[RivkahChaya]

Aside from normal Jewish music, I think I'd like someone to play the Indigo Girls' "Closer to Fine." I think it's appropriate, and it's also close to my heart, because on the day of my college graduation, which was an outdoor ceremony with no alternative location, it was raining in sheets when I woke up, so I skipped it, and made a pot of tea, which I drank by myself, while I played this song over and over on the stereo. It's about knuckling under and finishing college, and by having a certain amount of higher learning, earning the right to question authority, and when authority doesn't answer, ultimately be OK with ambiguity. The less you look to other people for the secret to life, the closer you are to "fine." But part of the point of it is that you do need to jump through the hoops first, or it's just rebellion, not wisdom.

But other than that, I would stick to Jewish music. Call me old fashioned. Or observant. I think most people find tradition and fulfilled expectations comforting.

[JHBoom]

Led Zeppelin, The Rain Song.

Beyond that, play whatever is requested by whoever decides to show up to my memorial party. Yes, party - we've been to enough damn funerals and memorial services that neither of us want some sad, depressing, drawn-out last goodbye. Have a drink or three, toast my urn, remember the good times and the fun, and point & laugh at all the goofy pictures that someone will almost certainly make into a collage.

[Dung Beetle]

Originally Posted by zoogirl

I have told everyone that I want my funeral to open with Spirit In The Sky full blast. That should wake everyone up. I also want Alice Cooper, of course, so I think it should be I Love the Dead and maybe Cold Ethel. My friends will expect it. Gotta have Stairway to Heaven. That will probably be last, as everyone is heading out. Let's see, one more...oh heck, better have Amazing Grace. No solo. Everyone sings!. Oh, one more Alice! School's Out!

Jeez, can I come? That sounds fun.

I would like "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" from The Wizard of Oz (an instrumental version so that the realization can break slowly over the attendee[s]).

Also, please play Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" because I may get up out of the casket to turn it off.

[Bookkeeper]

Atheist, so only a wake for me, and the only piece I have requested is Steeleye Span's "The Song Will Remain".

[Chronos]

My only request is that there be bagpipes.

[Count Blucher]

Oh, go ahead and play just anything! I won't raise a fuss....

[GinoC]

I Vow to Thee My Country
Brothers in Arms

[Ukulele Ike]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

Play Mountain Jam 10 times in a row. Nobody gets nothin' if they leave early.

I hear ya!

For me, five different live versions of The Grateful Dead's "China Cat Sunflower" > "Know You Rider."

(At my old man's memorial service in 2001, I played "Box of Rain" (which Phil Lesh wrote for HIS ol' pappy after he died) on the pipe organ as the people filed into the church.)

[kopek]

Originally Posted by Chronos

My only request is that there be bagpipes.

Playing Hava Nagila for all the Python fans in attendance?

[MrDibble]

Shelleyan Orphan's The Silent Day
Joy Division's The Eternal
Dead Can Dance's As The Bell Rings The Maypole Spins
Kristin Hersh's Your Ghost
The The's Love Is Stronger Than Death
The B-52s - either Planet Claire or Rock Lobster
And to end off, Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead

[PAjoe]

I Shall be Released - The Band
Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad - Grateful Dead

[Annie-Xmas]

Any song with "carry on" in the lyrics. Especially Styx's "Come Sail Away," with its references to virgin "C", search, free, "happily ever after the story's told, but somehow we missed out on the pot of gold" and the River Styx reference.

[up_the_junction]

For the pre-hanging around:
Desperado and (live) Thunder Road

For when the flames start up: Tomorrow Never Knows

Exit_ dunno, maybe Sarah McLachlan

[Icarus]

California Dreamin' - The Mamas and the Papas

Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (don't listen too closely to the lyrics, I like the music and the way it builds)