#1  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:29 AM
MadTheSwine is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,049

Need a punchline quick


There are three cows walking down the road, one cow says...?
  #2  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:41 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 16,251
Moo-ve-over
  #3  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:54 AM
raventhief's Avatar
raventhief is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,961
Where's that chicken?
  #4  
Old 07-17-2019, 10:01 AM
Dead Cat is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 4,154
..."Moo", the middle one says "Damn, I was going to say that.".

..."Why did the farmer tie bells round our necks when we already have horns?".

..."My farts are helping me stay ahead of you at all times", the other one says "I smell bullshit".

Struggling to come up with one that makes the third cow relevant.
  #5  
Old 07-17-2019, 10:02 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,796
...."why are you asking me? I'm the Catholic cow!"
  #6  
Old 07-17-2019, 10:46 AM
Personal is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,390
Moo farted?
  #7  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:10 AM
Vinyl Turnip is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 20,275
"Did I leave the branding iron on?"
  #8  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:21 AM
Atamasama's Avatar
Atamasama is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,767
Who ordered the tres leches?
  #9  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:40 AM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 34,771
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadTheSwine View Post
Need a punchline quick
Okay.
  #10  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:48 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 57,231
Sorry, daughter, you can't see your bullfriend any more. He's not our kine.
  #11  
Old 07-17-2019, 12:05 PM
Go_Arachnid_Laser is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,244
"Ewwww! I think I just stepped on a chicken!"
  #12  
Old 07-17-2019, 01:31 PM
zamboniracer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Above the Uecker seats.
Posts: 4,944
"Walking sure beats taking that truck to the slaughterhouse."
  #13  
Old 07-17-2019, 01:43 PM
Hampshire is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 11,043
"I told you this is pointless. You need THUMBS to hitchhike."
  #14  
Old 07-17-2019, 01:57 PM
Ike Witt's Avatar
Ike Witt is online now
Friend of Cecil
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Lost in the mists of time
Posts: 14,730
"How much further to Gary Larsons' place?"
  #15  
Old 07-17-2019, 02:50 PM
Chronos's Avatar
Chronos is online now
Charter Member
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The Land of Cleves
Posts: 84,475
[Moderating]

Moving from the Game Room to MPSIMS.
  #16  
Old 07-17-2019, 05:04 PM
Gatopescado is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: on your last raw nerve
Posts: 22,159
"We're home now. You can stop fucking!"
  #17  
Old 07-17-2019, 05:54 PM
Darren Garrison's Avatar
Darren Garrison is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 11,321
"That John Denver was full of shit."
  #18  
Old 07-17-2019, 05:57 PM
outlierrn is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: republic of california
Posts: 5,668
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
[Moderating]

Moving from the Game Room to MPSIMS.
mooooving
__________________
Just another outlying data point on the bell curve of life
  #19  
Old 07-17-2019, 06:01 PM
don't ask is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,272
"Hey, when did we become able to talk?"
  #20  
Old 07-17-2019, 06:02 PM
QuickSilver is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 18,601
One cow says: How much farther?
Second cow says: OMFG, a talking cow!!!


ETA: damn you, don't ask
__________________
St. QuickSilver: Patron Saint of Thermometers.

Last edited by QuickSilver; 07-17-2019 at 06:03 PM.
  #21  
Old 07-17-2019, 06:39 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,655
"My wife is a real heifer"
  #22  
Old 07-18-2019, 05:22 AM
road_lobo is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 139
"Said the actress to the bishop."
  #23  
Old 07-18-2019, 08:11 AM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 45,497
"This joke is udderly ridiculous."
  #24  
Old 07-18-2019, 10:16 AM
Hampshire is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 11,043
"This is way to slow, we should have taken the freeway."
  #25  
Old 07-18-2019, 10:38 AM
ftg's Avatar
ftg is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Not the PNW :-(
Posts: 19,865
5 bucks, same as downtown.
  #26  
Old 07-18-2019, 10:56 AM
FairyChatMom's Avatar
FairyChatMom is offline
I'm nice, dammit!
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern Merrylande
Posts: 41,643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hampshire View Post
"This is way to slow, we should have taken the freeway."
I choose this one!
  #27  
Old 07-18-2019, 11:12 AM
swampspruce's Avatar
swampspruce is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Cool Pool
Posts: 4,431
Gladys! Was that you?
__________________
Life is an economy. Where everything must be traded for something else and the value of all things rise and fall with the amount of attention and effort you put into them. -Mark Manson
  #28  
Old 07-18-2019, 04:00 PM
Doctor Jackson's Avatar
Doctor Jackson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Jawja
Posts: 10,462
If I hear one more redneck yell "Show your teats!"...
  #29  
Old 07-18-2019, 07:24 PM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 2,812
Cow #One: Oh, crap, here comes the farmer!

Cow #Two: Quick! Look busy!

Cow #Three flops down and starts chewing cud


~VOW
__________________
Klaatu Barada Nikto
  #30  
Old 07-20-2019, 05:53 AM
Marine_One is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Barbeque City, MO
Posts: 577
- Let's walk into a bar and see what they say.

- Betty, ALWAYS check how much gas there is before we leave the barn.

- You know, I've always wanted to try cow tipping.
  #31  
Old 07-20-2019, 07:06 AM
BigT's Avatar
BigT is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: "Hicksville", Ark.
Posts: 36,464
Quote:
Originally Posted by QuickSilver View Post
One cow says: How much farther?
Second cow says: OMFG, a talking cow!!!


ETA: damn you, don't ask
And that's how you make the third cow relevant. Take any joke for two cows, and have this be what the last cow says.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:20 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017