#1  
Old 03-29-2019, 01:53 PM
furryman's Avatar
furryman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Collinwood, Collinsport
Posts: 3,900

Derailed quotes.


Just like the derailed lyrics thread take a quote and twist it.

"There's too many damn snakes on this damn plane."
One snake is too many.

"You're lack of faith is disturbing. As a matter of fact I just don't like you."
  #2  
Old 03-29-2019, 04:24 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 56,196
Toto, I don't believe we're in Ohio any more.
  #3  
Old 03-29-2019, 04:51 PM
Kent Clark's Avatar
Kent Clark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 25,897
From West Side Story

MARIA: How many bullets are left, Chino? Enough for you? And you? All of you? WE ALL KILLED HIM! and my brother and Riff. I, too. I CAN KILL NOW BECAUSE I HATE NOW! How many can I
kill, Chino? How many-and still have one bullet left for me?

It's a revolver, so it's easy to tell how many bullets are left. In fact, just look into the cylinder and you'll see them right there. Don't forget to count the bullet that's already in the chamber.
  #4  
Old 03-30-2019, 07:35 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 56,196
I'll be back... in about 15 minutes.
  #5  
Old 03-30-2019, 01:12 PM
furryman's Avatar
furryman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Collinwood, Collinsport
Posts: 3,900
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to route one, route one leads to New York."

I've often thought the blurb for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe should have been. "Some doors were meant to be opened."
  #6  
Old 03-30-2019, 01:44 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 53,979
Frankly, my dear....I don't give a Rhett's ass.
  #7  
Old 03-30-2019, 04:18 PM
Kent Clark's Avatar
Kent Clark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 25,897
RICK BLAINE: I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

ILSA: You condescending mansplaining ass! The entire world is at war. Do you think I'm so stupid I can't understand that!
  #8  
Old 03-30-2019, 06:05 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
To be, or not to be--hell, what does the boarding pass say?
  #9  
Old 03-30-2019, 11:32 PM
LennieB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 200
N/M.

Last edited by LennieB; 03-30-2019 at 11:36 PM.
  #10  
Old 03-30-2019, 11:35 PM
LennieB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 200
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. The shells don't stay crisp very long, capisce?
  #11  
Old 03-30-2019, 11:52 PM
Sefton is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Stalag 17
Posts: 1,654
We'll always have Paris. In a metaphorical sense, I mean, since the Nazis are occupying the city.
  #12  
Old 03-31-2019, 09:17 AM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
In the beginning...

was a fantastic song by Chicago, if a tad long.
  #13  
Old 03-31-2019, 01:13 PM
furryman's Avatar
furryman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Collinwood, Collinsport
Posts: 3,900
"Are you talkin to me?"
It's time to see a psychiatrist when you start arguing with yourself.
  #14  
Old 04-01-2019, 01:01 AM
MEBuckner's Avatar
MEBuckner is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Posts: 12,035
In space no one can hear you scream, except for the people who are tuned in to the frequency your space suit radio is transmitting on.
  #15  
Old 04-01-2019, 08:07 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 53,979
I'll make him a reasonable offer, and I'll be willing to negotiate the terms until he accepts it.
  #16  
Old 04-07-2019, 02:57 PM
LennieB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 200
"I have a dream...." that I can't find my classroom, and I'm the teacher!
  #17  
Old 04-07-2019, 03:55 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
Friends, Romans, countrymen, shouldn't I be speaking Latin?
  #18  
Old 04-07-2019, 05:48 PM
Kent Clark's Avatar
Kent Clark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 25,897
"Après moi, le déluge"

Your majesty, with all due respect I must sadly advise that you do not control the weather.
  #19  
Old 04-07-2019, 06:34 PM
LennieB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 200
"I shall return" this too-small shirt to the store. Good thing I kept the receipt!
  #20  
Old 04-07-2019, 07:40 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 80,652
Four score and seven years ago, which works out to eighty-seven years if my math is right...
  #21  
Old 04-07-2019, 08:13 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
Early to bed and early to rise and you'll get your own damn breakfast!
  #22  
Old 04-07-2019, 10:01 PM
Kent Clark's Avatar
Kent Clark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 25,897
The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself. And this world-wide Depression. And the global spread of tyranny and failure of the League of Nations. And the only reason I can stand is because my legs are encased in steel braces and I'm hanging on to the podium. I'd really like a stiff drink, but Prohibition hasn't been repealed yet.
  #23  
Old 04-08-2019, 09:25 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 53,979
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

However, where the light was coming from remains a mystery, since the sun wasn't created until the fourth day. Go figure.
  #24  
Old 04-08-2019, 12:19 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 83,262
Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country in between episodes of The Bachelor.
  #25  
Old 04-09-2019, 09:21 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
I missed you... but I'm re-loading my rifle for another try!
  #26  
Old 04-09-2019, 09:27 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 15,406
Location, Location, Location, if my google maps and direct me.
  #27  
Old 04-09-2019, 09:36 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
I can not tell a lie, because I'm a kid and not a politician, yet.
  #28  
Old 04-11-2019, 02:05 AM
Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 391
They can't hit an elephant at this dis....Damn it, they shot my horse!
  #29  
Old 04-11-2019, 10:40 AM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NE Florida
Posts: 23,562
You couldn't hit the broad side of a bar....Damn it, you shot my horse!

  #30  
Old 04-11-2019, 11:24 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 53,979
They shoot horses? Do they?
  #31  
Old 04-11-2019, 03:14 PM
Typo Negative's Avatar
Typo Negative is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: 7th Level of Hell, Ca
Posts: 17,517
I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country. But if I had to do it over again......
__________________
"God hates Facts"

- seen on a bumper sticker in Sacramento Ca
  #32  
Old 04-12-2019, 11:40 PM
Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 391
It's time to either fish or cut class.
  #33  
Old 04-13-2019, 11:51 PM
Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 391
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool Mother Nature.
  #34  
Old 04-23-2019, 08:55 PM
Spiderman's Avatar
Spiderman is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: somewhere East of there
Posts: 10,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Early to bed and early to rise and you'll get your own damn breakfast!
Early to bed and early to rise...& your girl goes out with other guys.
  #35  
Old 04-23-2019, 09:17 PM
LennieB is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 200
It takes two to tango, unless it's a line dance, in which case I guess there's no limit.
  #36  
Old 04-24-2019, 09:24 AM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 80,652
Quote:
Originally Posted by kunilou View Post
RICK BLAINE: I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

ILSA: You condescending mansplaining ass! The entire world is at war. Do you think I'm so stupid I can't understand that!
Or maybe:

RICK BLAINE: I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

ILSA: I do understand it. I've been out working with the resistance while you've been moping in a bar. Nice of you to join us.
  #37  
Old 04-25-2019, 03:39 PM
furryman's Avatar
furryman is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Collinwood, Collinsport
Posts: 3,900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

However, where the light was coming from remains a mystery, since the sun wasn't created until the fourth day. Go figure.
It came from his Fiat. "Fiat Lux"
  #38  
Old 05-13-2019, 08:53 AM
Bayaker is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: A town on Galveston Bay
Posts: 2,870
A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! OK, I'll give you Cornwall for a Shetland pony!
  #39  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:01 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 53,979
"Surely you can't be serious."
:I am serious. Very serious. Extremely serious. Serious to the limit of serious. 100% serious. Remarkably serious. As serious as a person can be serious. Surely that tells you how serious I am."
  #40  
Old 05-13-2019, 12:03 PM
Little Nemo is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Western New York
Posts: 80,652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

However, where the light was coming from remains a mystery, since the sun wasn't created until the fourth day. Go figure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by furryman View Post
It came from his Fiat. "Fiat Lux"
Yeah, it sounds impressive in Genesis. But all God really did to cause the light was open his car door.
  #41  
Old 05-13-2019, 02:29 PM
BrotherCadfael is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 10,210
Quote:
Originally Posted by LennieB View Post
"I shall return" this too-small shirt to the store. Good thing I kept the receipt!
"You may light the fire when ready, Gridley!"

Props to anyone who knows the connection between these two items...
  #42  
Old 05-13-2019, 08:23 PM
panache45's Avatar
panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 42,864
The only thing we have to fear is the bogey man under the bed.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:20 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017