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  #51  
Old 08-12-2019, 11:31 PM
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...studies. He opened his copy book and textbook "magical enchantments, for fun and for profit, volume 14b." Scratching out the last few notes with his pencil, he started the chapter "footwear" from the beginning. Hopefully this time he won't make the same mistake...
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.

Last edited by snfaulkner; 08-12-2019 at 11:32 PM.
  #52  
Old 08-12-2019, 11:46 PM
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He's always gotten stuck in the 'footwear chapter. He had a thing for feet. He had a pet theory that Mermaids really had feet, 'fishy feet', if you will. He was determined to prove this theory. Socks were part of his research. Even Mermaids deserved warm feet. His mistake had been the cat motif. Everyone knows cats eat fish. "Wrong, wrong, wrong" he murmured....
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Old 08-12-2019, 11:50 PM
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He looked at his own footwear. Olive colored crocs and pale pink knee high stockings with a rainbows and unicorns motif. He smiled. They had been a gift from ...
  #54  
Old 08-13-2019, 12:02 AM
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A secret internet lover. His lover thought he was a hot blond with a smokin' Momma figure. If the truth were known it would....
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Old 08-13-2019, 09:52 PM
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...probably cost him his monthly stipend he gets for sending his benefactor foot/footware pics. But right now, he needs that money to continue his research. He doesn't have time for a job. And who would hire him anyway? He's just a bitter old man. But once he completed his project, THEN they'll pay. They'll ALL pay. MwahahahahahaHAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAhahahaha....MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa a.

Anyway...
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:24 PM
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There's the Mermaid in the bathtub. Insurance in case his theories were scoffed at. Back to his studies, he....
  #57  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:52 PM
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...got a third of the way through the first paragraph, which he has probably read 10 times by this point, when he heard a rapping. Rapping at his chamber door.

"What is it THIS time!" He yelled to himself. He shuffled over to the door and opened the eyeslit. There was Harley.
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #58  
Old 08-14-2019, 12:48 PM
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"Hey, sorry to bother you," said Quinn, "but I kind of zoned out when you were talking about pages and stuff. Do you have a trash bag or something? I want to give those socks to a needy cult."

Just then, the mermaid in the tub started singing. He froze, enchanted by the siren's song, captivating and promising of eternal poon tang if he just dove into the deep ocean...

"Hello?" Harley snapped her fingers in the man's face. "I was really hoping you'd give me some exposition, because I'd really rather know why there's so many socks out here. Who's that singing?" Being female, Harley was immune to the mermaid's song, but she soon realized the man was in a trance. She reached through the slightly open door and slid the lock chain out of its groove. She stepped inside and followed the singing to...
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:06 PM
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...a hoarding nightmare. This place used to be a curio and oddities shop, but now it was mostly overrun with junk.

Old man, clearly lost in the song, started shuffling towards a door. Harley dropped the armload of socks and grabbed his frail frame and spun him around "Hey! HEY!" she yelled in his face. In a brief moment of lucidity, he looked at her and mumbled...

"H-help me...you'll need to knock her out..." he started drifting off again...
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:10 PM
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Harley reached the bathroom door. She peeped in and thought "Dammit, girl's got some serious boobage!" She screamed at her to shut up. The Mermaid said...
  #61  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:36 PM
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..."H-Help me...this creep has me imprisoned here..."

Just the old man barged in and sprayed some sort of gas in her face knocking her out. The few moments talking to Quinn allowed him to snap out of the trance.

"Ha HA! take that you, you, you....beautiful intoxicating treasure..." trailing off, unable to stay mad. He then look to Harley "I love her but she's trying to kill me. Also, who are you and what are you doing here?"
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #62  
Old 08-14-2019, 11:45 PM
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"My name's Harley. I've been going door to door looking for free socks to give to charity. You don't have any you'd care to part with, do you?"
The mermaid's call had mesmerized him. He ignored Harley and moved once again towards the bathroom.
Harley put her hands over the old man's ears. "Hey! I'm talking here!"
  #63  
Old 08-15-2019, 07:54 AM
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"OK, you two have some relationship issues, and the socks are some weird side effect," said Harley. "I got an app for it," she said as she produced her iPhone and swiped icons.

Harley took a quick look at the mermaid's midsection to verify her gender, but surmised fish reproductive organs were differently placed. "Let's see, genders male and... female I guess?"

"Age range, 18-24 for the mermaid, 75+ for the guy, right?" The mermaid was still singing and the old man was unresponsive.

"How long have you and your partner been in a relationship? Uh, less than 1 year? 1-3 years? 3-5 years? 5-10? 10-20? I need feedback, guys."

The mermaid stopped singing and said...
  #64  
Old 08-15-2019, 09:15 AM
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Girl, please! This is no time for a survey.
Get me outta here.
  #65  
Old 08-17-2019, 11:07 AM
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The mermaid resumed singing after answering, since the old man was coming out of his trance, and nobody wanted him to be lucid yet. Harley asked "How? Flood the whole apartment?" Harley wasn't normally up to inflicting property damage in a stranger's dwelling, but she did just escape a deadly fire and thought "You know, a flood would balance out my day" out loud. She proceeded to open all the taps in the bathroom and kitchen and plugged the sinks. She then realized it would take hours for flooding conditions to get to the level required to allow the mermaid to swim out, so she left.

When Harley returned to the outside world, she saw...
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