Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #151  
Old 07-20-2019, 01:15 PM
elfkin477 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 22,709
Well if that doesn't just about put the baby in the ashtray.
  #152  
Old 07-20-2019, 11:49 PM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,865
That guy would watch a chicken cross a road and start crying.
  #153  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:15 AM
thorny locust is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 984
If somebody were bleeding out in the middle of the road, she'd be saying "But look how pretty the color of the blood is!"
  #154  
Old 07-21-2019, 02:11 PM
elfkin477 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 22,709
You know, it's like they always say: you can bless the rains down in Africa but you can't take the antelope out of the the Serengeti.
  #155  
Old 07-21-2019, 07:53 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
Fish fry shit pie poke him in the middle eye.
  #156  
Old 07-21-2019, 09:23 PM
TruCelt's Avatar
TruCelt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 11,332
I'm telling you she's gone completely Hagrid since she got that thing.
  #157  
Old 07-21-2019, 09:26 PM
TruCelt's Avatar
TruCelt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 11,332
He's got puppy-dog eyes and a smile like a cotton mouth.

Last edited by TruCelt; 07-21-2019 at 09:29 PM.
  #158  
Old 07-21-2019, 09:28 PM
TruCelt's Avatar
TruCelt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 11,332
That ole truck'll rattle you there and it'll rattle you back, but it won't stop you nowhere in between.
  #159  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:05 PM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,865
She's the only one here not sleepwalking.
  #160  
Old 07-22-2019, 04:56 AM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
Stick an ice cube up her ass and call the plumber.
  #161  
Old 07-22-2019, 07:33 AM
thorny locust is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 984
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruCelt View Post
He's got puppy-dog eyes and a smile like a cotton mouth.
I think we've got a winner. I really like that one.
  #162  
Old 07-26-2019, 06:55 PM
CelticKnot is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: BackHome again in Indiana
Posts: 1,031
If Twitter was scripture, we'd all be St. Paul.
  #163  
Old 07-29-2019, 03:55 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
Don’t whistle for a shark with a fish up your fanny.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #164  
Old 08-01-2019, 08:54 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
Just remember, 'snark' rhymes with 'fark'
  #165  
Old 08-01-2019, 06:55 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
He's got the nutsack of a hunchback.
  #166  
Old 08-01-2019, 07:03 PM
CairoCarol is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 4,897
There's no "O" in "versatile."
__________________
If I waited for memory to serve, I'd starve.

Last edited by CairoCarol; 08-01-2019 at 07:04 PM. Reason: Broke the rule.
  #167  
Old 08-02-2019, 07:31 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
There's no "Y" in "unwelcome."
  #168  
Old 08-02-2019, 04:27 PM
CelticKnot is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: BackHome again in Indiana
Posts: 1,031
My grandmother's rotary phone is smarter than him.
  #169  
Old 08-02-2019, 07:33 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
You're smoking the wrong end of the burrito.
  #170  
Old 08-02-2019, 10:35 PM
elfkin477 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 22,709
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruCelt View Post
That ole truck'll rattle you there and it'll rattle you back, but it won't stop you nowhere in between.
I think this is my favorite so far. I can easily imagine an grandpa telling you this


That girl's got a voice on her like a cow hollering in the rain.
  #171  
Old 08-09-2019, 07:26 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
She had a mouth like a chainsaw.
  #172  
Old 08-11-2019, 08:12 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,373
You can suck the chocolate off all the Goobers but that don't make you queen of the valley.
  #173  
Old 08-12-2019, 12:21 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,865
The crowd scattered like horse piss on a flat rock.
  #174  
Old 08-12-2019, 08:17 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
He got the trots faster than a filly at Belmont
  #175  
Old 08-14-2019, 09:12 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
She's the kind of gal who twists Oreos counterclockwise.
  #176  
Old 08-14-2019, 02:11 PM
atimnie's Avatar
atimnie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 323
Don't let the water leaking in get into your milk.
  #177  
Old 08-14-2019, 02:57 PM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,787
Chips in a can, chips in a bag: they're still potato chips
  #178  
Old 08-14-2019, 08:21 PM
atimnie's Avatar
atimnie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 323
You can't farm turnips in a lava pit, Yolanda.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:48 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017