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  #16751  
Old 08-02-2019, 08:19 PM
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Tell him about the Twinkie.
  #16752  
Old 08-03-2019, 08:29 AM
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Out of the bars and into the streets! Anita Bryant is coming for you!
  #16753  
Old 08-03-2019, 08:39 AM
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I'm a princess! P to the R to the IN to the CESS!
  #16754  
Old 08-03-2019, 04:10 PM
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"You never told me you were a princess!"

"You didn't ask."
  #16755  
Old 08-03-2019, 05:53 PM
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If you wear a dress and have an animal sidekick, you’re a princess.
  #16756  
Old 08-04-2019, 09:05 AM
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Then stop bossing me around!
  #16757  
Old 08-04-2019, 09:07 AM
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Mother knows best.
  #16758  
Old 08-04-2019, 02:36 PM
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"God couldn't be everywhere so that is why he invented mothers."

"What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you."
  #16759  
Old 08-05-2019, 05:58 PM
Andy L is offline
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A boy's best friend is his mother.
  #16760  
Old 08-05-2019, 06:33 PM
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She's my sister and my daughter!
  #16761  
Old 08-06-2019, 01:33 PM
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When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.
  #16762  
Old 08-06-2019, 01:50 PM
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Fletch F. Fletch.
  #16763  
Old 08-06-2019, 04:45 PM
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Do you ever have deja vu, Mrs. Lancaster?
  #16764  
Old 08-06-2019, 10:16 PM
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A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.
  #16765  
Old 08-07-2019, 06:11 AM
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No one wants to know about conspiracy any more!
  #16766  
Old 08-07-2019, 07:16 AM
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Stop the presses!
  #16767  
Old 08-07-2019, 11:05 AM
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Now look. The Post: "It Flies." The News: "Look, Ma, No Wires." The Times: "Blue Bomb Buzzes Metropolis." The Planet. We're sitting on top of the story of the century here! I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption.
  #16768  
Old 08-07-2019, 01:27 PM
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The newspapers are gonna put their shoulders to the wheel. They got to impress on these Bolsheviks that a death warrant for Earl Williams is a death warrant for every bomb-throwing, unAmerican, Red in this town!
  #16769  
Old 08-07-2019, 02:27 PM
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Ken, I don't want to print that you were in Sally's apartment... I just want to know what you said in Sally's apartment.
  #16770  
Old 08-08-2019, 07:47 AM
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Divine decadence, darling!
  #16771  
Old 08-08-2019, 10:21 AM
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It's good to be the king.
  #16772  
Old 08-08-2019, 04:40 PM
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I am the King. I tell, I am not told. I am the verb, sir, not the object.
  #16773  
Old 08-08-2019, 06:06 PM
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In the past, all a King had to do was look respectable in uniform and not fall off his horse. Now we must invade people's homes and ingratiate ourselves with them. This family's been reduced to those lowest, basest of all creatures. We've become actors!
  #16774  
Old 08-09-2019, 07:26 AM
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We're actors - we're the opposite of people!
  #16775  
Old 08-09-2019, 07:50 AM
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I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!
  #16776  
Old 08-09-2019, 09:01 AM
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I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
  #16777  
Old 08-09-2019, 01:37 PM
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Great! Now all I have to do is keep my self stinking drunk and no one will be able to tell the difference.
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"God hates Facts"

- seen on a bumper sticker in Sacramento Ca
  #16778  
Old 08-09-2019, 01:49 PM
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Pay no attention to that alky, boys.
  #16779  
Old 08-09-2019, 02:54 PM
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Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!
  #16780  
Old 08-10-2019, 03:39 PM
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People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man, I'm flesh and blood, I can be ignored, I can be destroyed; but as a symbol... as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.
  #16781  
Old 08-10-2019, 04:37 PM
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The Phaaaaaantom of the Opera is here, inside your mind!
  #16782  
Old 08-11-2019, 03:12 PM
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This is no dream! This is really happening!
  #16783  
Old 08-11-2019, 04:20 PM
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This is the story of two men who met in a banana republic. One of them never did anything dishonest in his life except for one crazy minute. The other never did anything honest in his life except for one crazy minute. They both had to get out of the country.
  #16784  
Old 08-12-2019, 02:06 PM
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They're saps because they risk their lives for strangers.
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  #16785  
Old 08-12-2019, 02:40 PM
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There is a legend of a man who lives beneath the sea. He is a fisher of men, the last hope of all those who have been left behind. Many survivors claim to have felt his gripping hands beneath them; pushing them up to the surface; whispering strength until help could arrive. But this, of course, is only a legend.
  #16786  
Old 08-12-2019, 06:39 PM
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I’ve been looking for you. Your half-brother, King Orm, is about to declare war upon the surface world. The only way to stop his war is for you to take your rightful place as king.
  #16787  
Old 08-13-2019, 11:33 AM
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Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?
  #16788  
Old 08-13-2019, 06:26 PM
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Visiting hours are never!
  #16789  
Old 08-13-2019, 06:32 PM
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While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.
  #16790  
Old 08-14-2019, 03:02 PM
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Don't I always pay you extra for opening and closing?
  #16791  
Old 08-14-2019, 03:56 PM
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Show me the money!
  #16792  
Old 08-14-2019, 04:12 PM
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Pay the man!
  #16793  
Old 08-14-2019, 04:29 PM
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The Man. Oh, you don't know The Man? He's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, MISS MULLINS, she's The Man. And The Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! Okay? And there used to be a way to stick it to The Man. It was called rock ‘n’ roll. But guess what. Oh, no. The Man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV!
  #16794  
Old 08-15-2019, 08:06 AM
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"When did you write that?"

"I didn't write it. Paul McCartney wrote it, The Beatles wrote it."
  #16795  
Old 08-15-2019, 09:23 AM
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Gear. Fab.
  #16796  
Old 08-15-2019, 10:26 AM
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Does it come in black?
  #16797  
Old 08-15-2019, 12:31 PM
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Morticia: You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive...but Debbie...
Debbie: What?
Morticia: [glancing at the decor] Pastels?
Debbie: [furious] Get out of my house!
  #16798  
Old 08-15-2019, 06:59 PM
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Hey, where's your hat?
  #16799  
Old 08-16-2019, 07:23 AM
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I've always admired that hat. I was wondering...since you won't be needing it anymore...perhaps you would consider bequeathing it to me?
  #16800  
Old 08-16-2019, 09:13 AM
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That's some bad had, Harry.
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