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  #10801  
Old 06-25-2019, 04:26 AM
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The moose charging cars
Ten bucks for a photo was
Extreme price gouging
  #10802  
Old 07-06-2019, 08:00 PM
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Extreme price gouging
100 Sudanese pounds
For one small ice cube
  #10803  
Old 07-07-2019, 05:36 PM
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For one small ice cube
I would gladly shared with you
My girlfriend Lorraine.
  #10804  
Old 07-09-2019, 01:05 PM
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My girlfriend Lorraine
Made me a wonderful quiche
Then we went to France
  #10805  
Old 07-09-2019, 04:17 PM
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Then we went to France
To fulfill the prophecy,
As it is written.
  #10806  
Old 07-09-2019, 08:22 PM
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As it is written
On the subway walls, and yes
The tenement halls
  #10807  
Old 07-10-2019, 08:51 AM
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The tenement halls
Are covered with graffiti
Words of the prophets.
  #10808  
Old 07-11-2019, 04:48 AM
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Words of the prophets
Making love with Cecilia
Insincere giraffes
  #10809  
Old 07-11-2019, 08:58 AM
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Insincere giraffes
Will stay away from the beach
When sharks are around
  #10810  
Old 07-11-2019, 09:45 AM
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When sharks are around
Shipwrecks, they get a load of
Flotsam and jetsam.
  #10811  
Old 07-11-2019, 09:53 AM
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Flotsam and jetsam.
That's the story of my life.
Ending up with naught.
  #10812  
Old 07-12-2019, 07:06 AM
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Ending up with naught
Is the result of all my
Casino visits
  #10813  
Old 07-12-2019, 09:33 AM
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Casino visits
Spent last nickel, won a dime
walked out a winner
  #10814  
Old 07-13-2019, 08:56 AM
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Walked out a winner
Everybody cheered when I
Won the lottery.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 07-13-2019 at 08:57 AM.
  #10815  
Old 07-14-2019, 12:23 PM
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Won the lottery
Got five dollar milkshake and
A Big Kahuna
  #10816  
Old 07-16-2019, 12:13 AM
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A big kahuna
The trick play and I lost at
Rock, Paper, Scissors.
  #10817  
Old 07-16-2019, 03:12 PM
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Rock, Paper, Scissors
Lizard, Spock really does not
work terribly well
  #10818  
Old 07-18-2019, 09:56 AM
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work terribly, well
and you'll find yourself replaced
with indoor plumbing
  #10819  
Old 07-18-2019, 10:00 AM
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withe indoor plumbing
You will always have a place
to do your business
  #10820  
Old 07-18-2019, 03:10 PM
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to do your business
if you're a dog, don't do it
in front of Ed's house
  #10821  
Old 07-19-2019, 02:51 PM
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In front of Ed's house
We'll throw a lavish Dopefest
Just because we can.
  #10822  
Old 07-19-2019, 10:35 PM
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Just because we can
Doesn’t mean that we have to
What did I just find
  #10823  
Old 07-20-2019, 06:20 AM
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What did I just find
On this pizza you ordered
Looks like pineapple!
  #10824  
Old 07-20-2019, 08:52 AM
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Looks like pineapple!
I just love pineapple on
Anything! Gimme!
  #10825  
Old 07-20-2019, 02:53 PM
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Anything! Gimme!
Shelter! Karaoke! It's
Just a shot away.
  #10826  
Old 07-20-2019, 03:24 PM
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Just a shot away
Is how I might best describe
My next emesis
  #10827  
Old 07-20-2019, 11:09 PM
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My next emesis
I will aim the best I can
At a passing car.
  #10828  
Old 07-21-2019, 01:55 AM
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At a passing car
I gazed through the windshield from
Down in a sinkhole.
  #10829  
Old 07-21-2019, 11:17 PM
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Down in a sinkhole
I decided not to stay.
It was a stinker.
  #10830  
Old 07-22-2019, 08:16 PM
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It was a stinker
It was a scoundrel, a louse
A rat and a rake
  #10831  
Old 07-23-2019, 10:32 AM
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A rat and a rake
I found them in my tool shed
Not buried treasure
  #10832  
Old 07-24-2019, 07:58 PM
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Not buried treasure
Above ground, open treasure
Slacker pirate's dream
  #10833  
Old 08-02-2019, 03:31 PM
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Slacker pirate's dream
Get a handful of rubies
From a sunken chest
  #10834  
Old 08-08-2019, 08:35 PM
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From a sunken chest
To a pair of double Ds
That's breast enlargement
  #10835  
Old 08-10-2019, 09:15 AM
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That's breast enlargement
But a pair of double A's
Could mean batteries.
  #10836  
Old 08-11-2019, 08:17 PM
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Could mean batteries
Or could be simple assaults
Said Sgt. Friday
  #10837  
Old 08-11-2019, 09:10 PM
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Said Sgt. Friday,
to whomever was watching,
"This is the city..."
  #10838  
Old 08-12-2019, 12:12 AM
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This is the city
my neck is dirty and a
smidgen gritty.
  #10839  
Old 08-12-2019, 04:44 AM
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(foul on boson's last line)

Smidgen T. Gritty
Didn't he play the fiddle
In that bluegrass band?

Last edited by Mean Mr. Mustard; 08-12-2019 at 04:45 AM.
  #10840  
Old 08-12-2019, 08:54 AM
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In that bluegrass band?
I found my lifelong lover
Smidgen T. Gritty
  #10841  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:25 AM
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Smidgen T. Gritty
Well, he was kinda shitty
Not a nice person
  #10842  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:27 AM
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Not a nice person
Yet we made him President
Beating Hillary

(That one wrote itself)
  #10843  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:37 AM
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Beating Hillary
Something that Bill never did
I mean, I hope not
  #10844  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:54 AM
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I mean, I hope not
But they say Clintons kill dudes
Also, Earth is flat
  #10845  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:58 AM
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Also, Earth is flat
'Cause the Bible tells me so
And Jesus loves me
  #10846  
Old 08-14-2019, 02:08 PM
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And Jesus loves me
And evolution aint real...
Nope, can't fake this dumb
  #10847  
Old 08-16-2019, 04:36 AM
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Nope, can't fake this dumb:
"Your Buick doesn't have a
roof rack!" imbecile
  #10848  
Old 08-17-2019, 11:57 PM
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Roof Rack Imbecile
Was a one-hit-wonder with
“I Love Your Left Tit.”
  #10849  
Old 08-18-2019, 01:16 AM
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I love your left tit
Actually, I love both
Your tits are gorgeous
  #10850  
Old 08-18-2019, 02:51 PM
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Your tits are gorgeous
But you already knew that
Confident are you
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