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Old 01-04-2018, 11:20 AM
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I like bananas a bunch


You have to admit that they have appeal.
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Old 01-04-2018, 11:24 AM
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Orange you glad I didn't say "banana"?
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Old 01-04-2018, 11:25 AM
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I like parking areas a lot. They are for people with a good deal of drive.
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Old 01-04-2018, 11:28 AM
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I like old school monster movies a lot. They're meant to frighten without a big margin of terror.
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Old 01-04-2018, 01:18 PM
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I dislike racism with extreme prejudice.
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Old 01-04-2018, 01:36 PM
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I like distractions because ... hey, look, a squirrel!
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Old 01-04-2018, 01:41 PM
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I was going to become a vegetarian but then I realized that it would be a huge missed steak.
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Old 01-04-2018, 02:03 PM
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Sex for me is a misdemeanor. The more I miss, da meaner I get!
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Old 01-04-2018, 02:26 PM
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Quoth the server: "404".
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Old 01-04-2018, 03:52 PM
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I bet on Chewing Gum at the track today and up until the end, he was sticking to the rail.
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Old 01-04-2018, 05:34 PM
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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  #12  
Old 01-04-2018, 05:36 PM
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I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I wasn't.
  #13  
Old 01-04-2018, 06:11 PM
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I like echoes, because when you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right...
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Old 01-04-2018, 06:30 PM
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Stan's averse to poetry.
  #15  
Old 01-04-2018, 07:21 PM
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I used to like only pears, but now I think outside the bosc.
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Old 01-04-2018, 08:15 PM
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Who was purple and conquered the world?
  #17  
Old 01-04-2018, 08:19 PM
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Who was purple and conquered the world?
Attila the Plum?
  #18  
Old 01-04-2018, 08:20 PM
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Who was purple and conquered the world?
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Attila the Plum?
No, Alexander the Grape!
  #19  
Old 01-04-2018, 08:24 PM
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No, Alexander the Grape!
Yes, I was just trying to be creative.
  #20  
Old 01-04-2018, 09:14 PM
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Sex for me is a misdemeanor. The more I miss, da meaner I get!
I'd recommend that you have sex on an elevator but that's wrong on so many levels.
  #21  
Old 01-04-2018, 09:52 PM
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What? Like going up and down?
  #22  
Old 01-04-2018, 10:05 PM
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I'd recommend that you have sex on an elevator but that's wrong on so many levels.
You're just trying to push his buttons.
  #23  
Old 01-04-2018, 10:07 PM
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I bet on Chewing Gum at the track today and up until the end, he was sticking to the rail.
Until he was beaten by Rubber Band in the stretch.
  #24  
Old 01-04-2018, 10:18 PM
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Until he was beaten by Rubber Band in the stretch.
But then Anthony Weiner's Tiny Penis came through and won by a short head in a photo.

Last edited by Riemann; 01-04-2018 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 01-04-2018, 11:14 PM
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But then Anthony Weiner's Tiny Penis came through and won by a short head in a photo.
Yeah, that was a negative result.
  #26  
Old 01-04-2018, 11:50 PM
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Yea, that wiener was a dog!
  #27  
Old 01-05-2018, 12:07 AM
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I studied to be a dog doctor, but I quit because I didn't like the lab work.
  #28  
Old 01-05-2018, 12:17 AM
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My great-grandfather used to work on the Navajo Indian Reservation, connecting electrical wire to all the outhouses. He was one of the first people to wire a head for a reservation.
  #29  
Old 01-05-2018, 12:27 AM
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I really hate bathroom humor. Quit while you're a head.
  #30  
Old 01-05-2018, 12:45 AM
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Can it, already!
  #31  
Old 01-05-2018, 12:57 AM
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That's kinda crappy!
  #32  
Old 01-05-2018, 01:09 AM
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It drives me round the bend.
  #33  
Old 01-05-2018, 07:22 AM
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Yeah, bathroom humor is offal.
  #34  
Old 01-05-2018, 07:36 AM
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Eating offal takes a lot of guts.

Last edited by Oly; 01-05-2018 at 07:40 AM. Reason: Chickened out.
  #35  
Old 01-05-2018, 04:29 PM
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I like bananas, too, but now I gotta split.
  #36  
Old 01-06-2018, 11:37 AM
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I didn't become a vet because I hated the CAT scan.
  #37  
Old 01-06-2018, 03:12 PM
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There's got to be more of your story, Annie. Tell us the tail.
  #38  
Old 01-06-2018, 05:10 PM
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Ice cream, but no one heard me.
  #39  
Old 01-06-2018, 05:14 PM
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I can't hear you, because I have something in my eye!
  #40  
Old 01-06-2018, 05:20 PM
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Ice cream, but no one heard me.
If it's sundae, it's probably their day off.
  #41  
Old 01-06-2018, 11:46 PM
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I look just like my twin. But he looks different.
  #42  
Old 01-06-2018, 11:59 PM
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Looks aren't everything. Just saying.
  #43  
Old 01-07-2018, 01:04 AM
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New Year's resolutions go in one year and out the other.
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  #44  
Old 01-07-2018, 02:12 PM
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Should auld acquaintance be forgot, it may be senility kicking in.
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Old 01-07-2018, 02:46 PM
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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
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  #46  
Old 01-07-2018, 02:51 PM
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...but it gives one such a lift!
  #47  
Old 01-07-2018, 02:52 PM
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...if you push the right buttons.
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  #48  
Old 01-07-2018, 03:09 PM
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If you go down¿
  #49  
Old 01-07-2018, 03:58 PM
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How are you gonna get a little man in a boat in an elevator?
  #50  
Old 01-07-2018, 03:59 PM
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I thought about taking those moving stairs, but I didn't want to escalate things.
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