#1  
Old 06-11-2018, 05:23 PM
ryobserver ryobserver is offline
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Horrifying fairground food

From Canada, and I thought the US had a near-monopoly on this sort of thing.

https://www.calgarystampede.com/stam...tractions/food

I did a search to confirm this actually is the official Calgary Stampede site; the juxtaposition of "prairie oyster balls" with donut ice cream sandwiches had me thinking (hoping?) it was a spoof site. But it is evidently real. Which means someone actually did see a bowl of pho and think "Can we get that in a burrito?" Someone actually thought a deep-fat-fried Reese's peanut butter cup wasn't enough of a grease bomb, and decided to wrap bacon around it. Someone thought a bacon cheeseburger isn't cheesy enough, and needs a cheese dipping sauce.

Possibly all these someones were egged on by the kangaroo and cricket vendors, to make their products look sane by comparison. Certainly I would eat the kangaroo burger long before I'd eat the red velvet corn dog.

What would you eat? (The raspberry watermelon salad might actually be brilliant.) What might you eat on a bet, or if you had several friends to share the burden? (The one-pound meatball, if I had at least 3 other people to split it.) What would you NOT eat on a bet? (Oh, the many contenders...)
  #2  
Old 06-11-2018, 05:42 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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A celebration of Carnival Eats. (Cooking Channel)
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Old 06-11-2018, 05:45 PM
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WOW. I'd try pretty much all of those. Compared to the fare offered at our major fairs (soggy chips, cold hot dogs, fairy floss) it looks just amazing.

Especially the Vietnamese coffee icy-pole. I'm gonna make me one of those later today.
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Old 06-11-2018, 05:46 PM
Hilarity N. Suze Hilarity N. Suze is offline
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A red velvet battered hot dog? A cornbread battered banana? Somebody is corn-fused.

I would eat a red velvet battered deep fried banana. Okay, I also liked their gluten-free offering; it made me laugh until I almost fell off my chair

Quote:
A corn-based wrap, stuffed with a heaping pile of spicy barbecued chicken chorizo sausage, grilled queso-duro cheese, avocado and tomato salsa and a tangy garlic mayonnaise sauce. Bonus: this menu item is gluten-free!

Last edited by Hilarity N. Suze; 06-11-2018 at 05:48 PM.
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Old 06-11-2018, 05:59 PM
silenus silenus is online now
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And I thought United Statesian fair food was disgusting!
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:11 PM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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I have a vague recollection of reading a news article about the winner of a state fair cookoff years ago. (probably Tx)

The dude had won with his new invention...deep fried snickers bar. The next year it was deep fried beer or something equally as strange and improbable sounding.

My point is, the article left me with the impression that super wacky was encouraged by the sanctioning body of the competition. So strange food isn't just happening, it's kinda been commissioned.

On the topic of what would I eat...I'm not too adventurous.

If you deep fry something I like, I'd probably eat it, but you wont find me eating squid bacon or donkey intestines stuffed with whale tongue.
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:13 PM
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Some items looked pretty good but were so greasy that got gassy just reading them.
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:24 PM
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What's with all the crickets?
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:47 PM
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If I was paying for it I'd skip the cookie dough ice cream sandwich and Unicorn tea. I've tried and don't particularly care for bubble tea or cookie dough ice cream. There's some others that I wouldn't be tempted to try unless they were really cheap like the activated carbon ice cream and Prairie Oyster Balls.

If it was free and I was hungry there's not a thing there I wouldn't at least try. I've eaten worse.
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:50 PM
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The only one Iíd go for was the soft pretzel. The watermelon didnít sound bad, but Iíd rather just have that, I donít need it filled with watermelon ice cream when I could have the real deal. Some sounded outright disgusting, and others like, I think there was a fried pineapple, mightíve appealed to me about 30 years ago.
  #11  
Old 06-11-2018, 06:57 PM
ryobserver ryobserver is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
What's with all the crickets?
I suspect the crickets, and the kangaroo meat items, are promotional stunts: Check out this excellent new food! We've made it tasty for you!

The one time I attended the Pennsylvania Farm Show the mushroom growers were doing a similar thing, making a big introduction of The Blend, a mix of ground beef and minced mushroom (70/30 if memory serves), by serving The Blend burgers at their food court booth alongside their usual grilled portabella sandwiches and such. I haven't heard about The Blend since, but the burger wasn't at all bad.
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Old 06-11-2018, 07:09 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
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Hurk. I like my testicles without sugar, thank you. And that black ice cream is ruined with disgusting coconut flavor. And their "giant" squid is merely large, I wanted one that needs a crane to eat. And they cheap out on crickets, when clearly grasshoppers are the superior bug protein!

Kangaroo is delicious.

Watch where you point that finger. A lot of classic fair food can be blamed on Scotland.
  #13  
Old 06-11-2018, 07:26 PM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is offline
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Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror View Post
Watch where you point that finger. A lot of classic fair food can be blamed on Scotland.
Sometimes they can even be found in fish & chip shops on this side of the pond. Never tried one, though. Diabetic.

Last edited by Skywatcher; 06-11-2018 at 07:26 PM.
  #14  
Old 06-11-2018, 07:36 PM
Periwinkle Periwinkle is offline
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Bacon onion bombs and deep fried pineapple rings sounds good. I would definitely want the watermelon ice cream and lavender lemonade. No bugs or animal organs.
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Old 06-11-2018, 07:47 PM
Alpha Twit Alpha Twit is offline
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Skip the crickets and the testicles. I would try the rest. How many I would pay to try is a much better question. The pickle tornado for sure. Maybe the squid if it wasn't that expensive. Beyond that, I doubt it.
  #16  
Old 06-11-2018, 07:50 PM
The Stainless Steel Rat The Stainless Steel Rat is offline
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I think I gained about 3 lbs. just looking at those pictures...

There are a few I would try (the mac-n-cheese campfire pie and deep-fried burger), but my cholesterol level would be about 400 afterwards.

I suspect the Texas State Fair will be saying "Hold my beer." Here's what they had last year: https://bigtex.com/plan-your-visit/f...choice-awards/
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  #17  
Old 06-11-2018, 09:33 PM
Ann Hedonia Ann Hedonia is offline
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There must be lots of marijuana in Calgary.
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Old 06-11-2018, 09:43 PM
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The sweet stuff almost all sounded pretty gross, except for the lavender lemonade and the wat-a-melon. I'd be willing to try a bite, at least, of all the savory items. Some of them sounded quite good.
  #19  
Old 06-11-2018, 10:16 PM
Drunky Smurf Drunky Smurf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
Bacon onion bombs and deep fried pineapple rings sounds good. I would definitely want the watermelon ice cream and lavender lemonade. No bugs or animal organs.
I want try all of these and the deep fried banana peppers. I'm thirsty right now so that lavender lemonade sounds really good.
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  #20  
Old 06-11-2018, 10:19 PM
FoieGrasIsEvil FoieGrasIsEvil is offline
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I couldn't eat those sweet balls. I need SALTY balls!
  #21  
Old 06-11-2018, 10:26 PM
blondebear blondebear is online now
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I recently had my first Tornado Potato and it was pretty tasty. I'd definitely be willing to try Calgary's Big Pickle Tornado.

Last edited by blondebear; 06-11-2018 at 10:27 PM.
  #22  
Old 06-11-2018, 10:27 PM
ZipperJJ ZipperJJ is online now
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A lot of that looks really good, and I'm a picky eater.

The rest of it looks horrible, like I wouldn't even venture to try it.

Calgary has weird tastes!
  #23  
Old 06-11-2018, 10:31 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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No to Cricket Grilled Cheese, Prairie Oyster Balls, Smoking Charcoal Ice Cream in a Cup, Cheesy Chicken Hearts, Wine & Cheese, Deep Fried Bacon Wrapped Reeseís Cups, Giant Squid on a Stick, Cricket Caramel Apple, Sushi Doughnut, Red Velvet Corndog, Goat's Head Soup, Black Charcoal Pineapple Ice Cream, Cookie Dough Burrito, Fish and Chips Dog, and Pizza Corndog.

Yes to Hot Ice Cream Donut Sandwiches, Bacon Onion Bombs, Deep Fried Pineapple Rings, The Spicy Chicken Arepa, Wat-A-Melon, Korean BBQ Tater Tots, Napolitano Soft Pretzel, Mexican-style Street Corn, Inside out caramel apple, Oreo Creamsicle delight, Watermelon & Raspberry Salad, Buffalo Chicken Perogies, Pulled Chicken Quesadilla, Boneless Rib on Ciabatta, Mighty Zeus Poutine, Szechwan Prawn Wrap, Beef and Chicken Pho-ritos, Banana Corndog, Corn in a Cup, Grape Float Heaven, and Macaroni and Cheetos Campfire Pie. Although not all of them.
  #24  
Old 06-12-2018, 12:01 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post
Calgary has weird tastes!
Not really. Based on my years of living in Calgary and area, and even having worked at the Calgary Stampede a couple of times, I'll say that it's more trying to out-weird last year's food offerings, than "this is normal for Calgary."

I don't know how things got this way, but every year, some people look forward with great anticipation to hearing about this year's weird Stampede offerings; and when they are announced, it is big news, at least here in Alberta. During the Stampede itself, media outlets will invariably have features on how their reporters found the weird stuff. Some ordinary people will even try it.

But most will ignore it in favour of more traditional fair food, and when the Stampede is over, things go back to normal, food-wise. Until next year's Stampede, when foods are bound to become ever weirder.
  #25  
Old 06-12-2018, 04:57 AM
TruCelt TruCelt is offline
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I would try most of the ones on that list - I draw the line at testicles though. Those suckers have boy hormones in them. I don't want to sprout a mustache in the morning.


Deep Fried Masters: Because pizza and pecan pie are not bad enough; we need to batter and deep fry them. . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWBgbazQuc0
  #26  
Old 06-12-2018, 07:07 AM
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Quote:
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A celebration of Carnival Eats. (Cooking Channel)
I don't like turning the TV off and on just for a short while like eating dinner. So we mute it. Mrs. FtG likes cooking shows (the real cooking ones, not the contests, etc.) so sometimes this is on while we eat.

Just glancing at the incredible piles of garbage people some people eat explains the fat epidemic in the US.
  #27  
Old 06-12-2018, 09:39 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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We've had threads about Carnival Food before. I thought I'd read the worst of it, but then I learned about

Depp Fried Kool Aid

Deep Fried Butter (!!!!!!!!)

Deep Fried Beer



and I realized that nothing seemed too outrageous anymore.
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  #28  
Old 06-12-2018, 09:49 AM
DCnDC DCnDC is online now
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Pass. I'll be over at Chan's chicken-on-a-stick truck...
  #29  
Old 06-12-2018, 10:10 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
We've had threads about Carnival Food before. I thought I'd read the worst of it, but then I learned about

Depp Fried Kool Aid

Deep Fried Butter (!!!!!!!!)

Deep Fried Beer



and I realized that nothing seemed too outrageous anymore.
Created by the man himself?
  #30  
Old 06-13-2018, 04:07 AM
si_blakely si_blakely is offline
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Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
Bacon onion bombs and deep fried pineapple rings sounds good.
Deep fried pineapple rings are really good, and are a staple of the NZ fish and chip shop menu. Served with a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar.

Yum.
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  #31  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:23 AM
Kimballkid Kimballkid is offline
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Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil View Post
I couldn't eat those sweet balls. I need SALTY balls!
Don't you mean Schweddy balls?
  #32  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:40 AM
ZipperJJ ZipperJJ is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoons View Post
Not really. Based on my years of living in Calgary and area, and even having worked at the Calgary Stampede a couple of times, I'll say that it's more trying to out-weird last year's food offerings, than "this is normal for Calgary."
Ah, good. Glad to know the people of Calgary aren't clamoring for crickets or prairie oysters
  #33  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
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From Canada, and I thought the US had a near-monopoly on this sort of thing.
The Exhibition in Toronto every August is a veritable Everest of disgusting food. Every year someone tries to re-up the previous year with something even more gastronomically horrific. A few years ago it was a giant ice cream cone with the cone made out of pizza, topped with bacon and hot peppers and covered in an entire jar of Nutella. It was by all accounts completely inedible, and yet the spectators were lined up to try it.

Every year one or another new offense to the Gods of food will make scores of people sick and they all complain, apparently previously unaware that eating a 6500-calorie confection made of meat, ice cream, candy, salt and hatred just might possibly disagree with your tummy.
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  #34  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:51 AM
Typo Negative Typo Negative is offline
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Yeah, the image of the Cricket Grilled Cheese is going to haunt me.

I may have to skip lunch.
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Old 06-13-2018, 11:55 AM
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Yeah, the image of the Cricket Grilled Cheese is going to haunt me.

I may have to skip lunch.
And I would have to try it, just because I havenít and itís there
  #36  
Old 06-13-2018, 12:55 PM
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I'd totally eat Deep Fried Bacon Wrapped Reese’s Cups.
  #37  
Old 06-13-2018, 01:27 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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Ironically, I was just trying to imagine what the next big disgusting-sounding fried fair food fad might be last night. I didn't get far, though. Whether from lack of imagination or the fact that I was just about to drift off to sleep, I'm not sure.

I'd try most of what is on offer in Calgary if I didn't have to pay for it. The charcoal ice cream is a turn-off, though. Not because of the way it might taste but I wouldn't want to walk around with blackened teeth, gums and tongue for a while.

I've tried fried crickets before and they weren't bad except that the exoskeletons reminded me too much of popcorn hulls, though not as tough. I was at a small Mexican restaurant that specialized in fare from Oaxaca state once and the owner brought me a few to try. She said there are farms down there that raise crickets for food. Interesting tidbit. Of course, I'd hate to have to hunt them down in the wild.
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Old 06-13-2018, 02:38 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
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Don't you mean Schweddy balls?
No, chocolate salty balls.
  #39  
Old 06-13-2018, 04:19 PM
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Not really. Based on my years of living in Calgary and area, and even having worked at the Calgary Stampede a couple of times, I'll say that it's more trying to out-weird last year's food offerings, than "this is normal for Calgary."

I don't know how things got this way, but every year, some people look forward with great anticipation to hearing about this year's weird Stampede offerings; and when they are announced, it is big news, at least here in Alberta.
That sounds pretty much exactly like the Texas State Fair. Every year, they publish all the new and weird recipes in the paper, and there's some kind of culinary competition, and then all this stuff goes on sale at some stand or other at the Fair.

Despite all that most people stick with corn dogs, hamburgers, funnel cakes and ice cream bars.
  #40  
Old 06-13-2018, 05:02 PM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
What's with all the crickets?
Protein.

Certain crickets really are clean, high protein, and easy to raise.
  #41  
Old 06-13-2018, 07:56 PM
Merneith Merneith is offline
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The Mexican street corn looked really good to me. Also the caramel apple that was sliced open like a blooming onion and had the caramel on the inside is kind of genius.
  #42  
Old 06-13-2018, 08:28 PM
nightshadea nightshadea is online now
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the Mexican corn is no big deal … I see someone selling that homemade out of a shopping cart every weekend
  #43  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:23 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
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At least it's not Mexican corn.
  #44  
Old 06-13-2018, 11:38 PM
BobBitchin' BobBitchin' is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoieGrasIsEvil View Post
I couldn't eat those sweet balls. I need SALTY balls!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimballkid View Post
Don't you mean Schweddy balls?

Foie, I knew exactly what you meant, and I started singing it (with gusto) right away. Mrs. Bitchin' is currently cleaning her screen.


Kimballkid, that was originally the funnier bit of the two. I laughed at Chef, but we were rollin at my house during the SNL bit.

Good humor on everyone's part

Last edited by BobBitchin'; 06-13-2018 at 11:39 PM.
  #45  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:18 AM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is online now
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At a fair in Thailand, I bought what I thought was a sausage on a stick, but it turned out to be a chicken head. In m defense, it was nighttime and dark.
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  #46  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:08 PM
Merneith Merneith is offline
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the Mexican corn is no big deal Ö I see someone selling that homemade out of a shopping cart every weekend
Not here in my state, you don't.
  #47  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:14 PM
Jasmine Jasmine is offline
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Just looking at that menu made me want to vomit.
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  #48  
Old 06-14-2018, 01:07 PM
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At least it's not Mexican corn.
Huitlacoche isn't the corn, but the fungus that grows on the corn. I have a friend who raves over corn smut. Not my thing. If you see Mexican corn on a menu around here, you'll get elote (crema, red pepper, cotija cheese, and lime), not huitlacoche. That shit's expensive, too.
  #49  
Old 06-15-2018, 09:35 PM
gotpasswords gotpasswords is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Typo Negative
Yeah, the image of the Cricket Grilled Cheese is going to haunt me.

I may have to skip lunch.
Go on and skip dinner... this burger has legs!
  #50  
Old 06-16-2018, 09:41 AM
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At least it's not Mexican corn.
Remember "Steve Don't Eat It!" at The Sneeze? Good times.
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