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Old 11-12-2002, 02:50 PM
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Lebowski Sequel? Jesus' Second Coming?


http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=13781

Ain't it cool's reporting that the Coen brothers and John Turturro are exploring ideas for a possible movie focusing on his character, Jesus Quintana.

My reaction: I don't know if Jesus holds up as a real character. I love them as simpsons-style small characters, but I don't know if I'd want an entire movie about Jesus or Maude or the Big Lebowski, ya know?

Of course, I'll go to see it, if it happens. Duh.
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Old 11-12-2002, 03:05 PM
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Don't mess with the Jesus.
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Old 11-12-2002, 04:06 PM
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Although I loved the Big Lebowski, I'm not quite sure how a comedy about a child molester could work.
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Old 11-12-2002, 09:54 PM
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"You might fool the fucks at the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. So instead of fucking you in the ass Saturday afternoon, I will fuck you in the ass Tuesday night!"

... or however that went. Sorry, you just triggered a movie memory and I had to let it out.

"eight-year-olds, Dude"
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Old 11-12-2002, 09:56 PM
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are you kidding? up with child molestor-based comedy, I say!
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Old 11-12-2002, 10:19 PM
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Quote:
Jesus Quintana:
You ready to be fucked man? I see
you rolled your way into the semis.
Dios mio, man. Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.

The Dude:
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your
opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana:
Let me tell you something, pendejo.
You pull any of your crazy shit with us,
you flash a piece out on the lanes,
I'll take it away from you,
stick it up your ass and pull the
fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

The Dude:
Jesus.

Jesus Quintana:
You said it man.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Walter Sobchak:
Eight year-olds dude.

Quote:
What is this "day of rest" shit? What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus! It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laughable, man! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead!

No doubt, this was a totally unique and extremely funny side character, but I'm not sure how well he would work as a lead.

I would love to see a Lebowski sequel, with all the same characters, but perhaps with more of a focus on the Jesus than on the Dude. (This thing would HAVE to have Jeff bridges and John Goodman in it or it wouldn't work at all.)

The Cohen brothers have never made a bad movie yet, and Lebowski had a great little universe of characters. I really hope they revisit it.
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Old 11-13-2002, 12:19 AM
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I would pay in excess of three figures to see another Coen Bros. movie about the Dude. For Jesus, I pay regular admission.
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Old 11-13-2002, 10:20 AM
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calmer n you are dude.
calmer n you are.
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Old 11-13-2002, 11:45 AM
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This is what HAPPENS when you fuck a STRANGER in the ASS!"
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Old 11-13-2002, 11:54 AM
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Yeah, but he's a pederast, dude.
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Old 11-13-2002, 11:55 AM
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You know, we really only have Walter's word for it that the Jesus is a pederast. Walter is not exactly the most reliable source of information in the the world.

Also Jesus is constantly telling people that he's going to "fuck them in the ass." Imagine Jesus getting into an altercation with some kid at some point in his past, probably at the bowling alley, and having the situation misconstrued by witnesses. Jesus doesn't necessarily have to be a pervert.
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Old 11-13-2002, 03:29 PM
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Good point. Heh, I'm laughing just thinking about Jesus yelling at a kid in the bowling alley that he's going to fuck them in the ass.

I will trample other people to see a Lebowski sequel.
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Old 11-13-2002, 03:46 PM
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This post makes me want to watch it again. So many memories so many good times.

But this is well like my oppinion, man.

This new one though, it should be like a prequel that leads to the game against the Dude maybe even the same scene as in TBL with a different twist.
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Old 11-13-2002, 10:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic
Also Jesus is constantly telling people that he's going to "fuck them in the ass."
Well that's just the parlance of our times.
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Old 11-14-2002, 09:39 AM
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The best is when Lebowski was on TV and a certain line was changed to...

"This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the grass."


My thoughts exactly.
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  #16  
Old 12-30-2002, 05:29 PM
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"these men are cowards, donnie"


I have to say that the big lebowski is one of my favorite moveis. however, a sequel is not so cool. it's hard for me to imagine the coen bors making a bad movie, but the original is amazing and pefect and why go there again? let's see who else the coen brothers can make movies about.

"maybe on you, jackie"

oh- mad props to the "eight year-olds, dude." fan club. one of the best moments of the movie
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Old 12-30-2002, 05:39 PM
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"'El Duderino'...if you're not into that whole 'brevity' thing..."
  #18  
Old 12-30-2002, 06:24 PM
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tramp, I saw it on USA as "This is what happens when you have fun with a stranger in the alps"
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Old 12-30-2002, 06:46 PM
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While we do only have Walter's word on Jesus' predilections, there is a supporting cutscene which seems to indicate that it's true.

It just makes the character all the better. Off the lanes, he's a desperate pathetic individual, while on the lanes he's suave and fearless.
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Old 12-30-2002, 08:23 PM
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Why do I picture this sequel having a twenty minute scene of Jesus licking his bowling ball?

Seriously tho, this sequel could either completely rock....or totally suck. There's no middleground here. But I would pay exhorbitant amounts to see the Dude again.
  #21  
Old 12-30-2002, 08:30 PM
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I'd say that the only way this movie could possibly work is if it were only about Jesus, and didn't feature any of the opther cast members. We've seen the Dude's world. We're done with that; this should be something wholly new.

Not that I would inflict hideous tortures on small innocent kittens to see a new movie about the Dude. I mean, it's the Dude. He abides. Need I say more?

I didn't think so.
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Old 12-30-2002, 08:48 PM
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Take a closer look at John Turturro's jeans as he's walking through the chain link gate (when John Goodman is explaining that he had to register as a sex offender).
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Old 12-30-2002, 10:22 PM
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jehovah68-- that's a bag of birdseed in there. Really.

I'd be up for a Cohen Bros. movie about the Jesus. Everything they do has such a high degree of intertextuality with everything else that they do, that an out-right sequel might work out just fine.

As for him being a pederast, I agree-- Walter may well be misinterpreting things, he's pretty off the wall. I expect that a movie built around Jesus will treat him a lot more sympathetically -- and depending on whether the action is intended to take place before or after the events of The Big Lebowski, we may come to find out that his reputation as a sex offender is brought about by as a result of a comic adventure.

Quote:
Cisco: Although I loved the Big Lebowski, I'm not quite sure how a comedy about a child molester could work.
In the right hands, it could work. It sounds doubtful, but hell... Il Mostro turned out to be freaking hilarious.
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Old 12-30-2002, 10:50 PM
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I still wonder if Walter could have really gotten a toe.
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Old 12-31-2002, 03:25 AM
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That's a good question.

I think it's possible he was going to fake one; maybe make one out of clay or something, in order to distract the bad guys for a few seconds so he could gain the upper hand somehow. This, in all probability, would have led to further hijinks.

Seems as likely to me as anything. I mean, this is Walter friggin' Sobchak we're talking about, here. I mean, ya know? This aggression will not stand, man!
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:27 AM
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I could really do with some loganberry pancakes this morning.
Quote:
Originally posted by Gerome
Why do I picture this sequel having a twenty minute scene of Jesus licking his bowling ball?
That is one of the most disturbingly sexy scenes I've ever watched, and so perfectly scored to that cover of "Hotel California."
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:53 AM
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Logjammin'


"This is not about the Chinaman dude....Shut the fuck up, Donny! This is about drawing a line in the sand, across which you... do... not ... oh, and Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-american, please."

And any other scene in which W. Sopchak becomes flustered.

"Dude, tomorrow's already the 10th..."
"Far out, man"
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Old 12-31-2002, 10:54 AM
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Pilar?


I neglected to mention that I've taken a fancy to, when angered at an associate or friend, yell at them "You're killing your father!"
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Old 12-31-2002, 12:10 PM
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"You can imagine what happens next."
"He fixes their cable?"
"Don't be fatuous, Mr Lebowski."
  #30  
Old 12-31-2002, 06:33 PM
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YOU ALL ARE AMAZING!!! I never find such great lebowski fans... (I'm new here.)

What about a list of all repeated phrases in the movie? I'll start with "you see what happens?" (blonde thug from early scene/walter)
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Old 12-31-2002, 07:28 PM
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Hey! There's a beverage here!
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Old 12-31-2002, 07:33 PM
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Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.
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Old 12-31-2002, 09:23 PM
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Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Wait, what'd you say?
  #34  
Old 01-01-2003, 04:08 AM
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Leads? Yeah I'll check with the boys down at the crime lab. They got four more detectives on the case. They got us working in shifts! Leads. Hahahahahahaha! "Leads" hahahahaha
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Old 01-02-2003, 01:35 AM
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Cop 1: I'm not so sure about the briefcase.
Cop 2: Or the Creedence.

Walter: Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

Okay, I better stop before I spew random "Lebowski" quotes for hours on end. I'd pay to see a Jesus movie. The Coens can do no wrong.
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Old 08-14-2017, 11:33 PM
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How's this for a ressurrection?

Not a Coen sequel, but John Turturro directs himself as his Jesus Quintana character in a remake of Bertrand Blier's Les Valseuses (1974)

Could come out this year, look at that sweet cast. Going Places (2017) Sad to say, but even remaking a 43-year old subversive French comedy, they might have to fight tooth and nail to get proper U.S. distribution, or for that matter to use this thread's title as the tagline.
  #37  
Old 08-14-2017, 11:39 PM
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This thread is now too old for Jesus.
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Old 08-15-2017, 08:31 AM
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No thread is too old for Jesus.

AM I WRONG??
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Old 08-15-2017, 05:21 PM
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Walter has remarried and divorced again and is now a practicing Buddhist.
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Old 08-15-2017, 05:33 PM
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Walter has remarried and divorced again and is now a practicing Buddhist.
Desire is the f****** root of suffering
  #41  
Old 08-15-2017, 05:36 PM
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No thread is too old for Jesus.

AM I WRONG??
I certainly wouldn't fuck with him.
  #42  
Old 08-16-2017, 02:21 PM
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Previous thread on the Jesus spinoff: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=812860
  #43  
Old 10-12-2019, 07:51 PM
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Bumping this nearly 17 year-old thread to mention this opens this Thursday!

(In Italy only...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gENkMBnzF0c
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Old 10-14-2019, 11:40 AM
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Bumping this nearly 17 year-old thread to mention this opens this Thursday!
surely 8 year-old dude!
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Old 10-14-2019, 12:06 PM
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Glad this got bumped, so I can point out that the OP had a line that's been challenging much of humanity for 2000+ years...
Quote:
Originally Posted by epraz View Post
My reaction: I don't know if Jesus holds up as a real character.
  #46  
Old 10-14-2019, 01:45 PM
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OP also said they don't know if they'd want an entire movie about Maude Lebowski, which is just plain nuts. As much as I love Turturro, it took bowling balls to think he'll top Blier's Les Valseuses, or even the film's title. OTOH how nobody seems to realize even a childless Maude is a 6 picture franchise is beyond me.
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