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  #101  
Old 10-08-2019, 05:47 PM
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It's a shame the schedule rotation landed on the AFC East (Dolphins & Jets) playing both the AFC North (Bengals) as well as the NFC East (Redskins).
It'll be like Highlander, only with crappy football teams.
  #102  
Old 10-08-2019, 06:40 PM
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It'll be like Highlander, only with crappy football teams.
I didn’t see the end of the game between the Bengals and Cardinals. Did Kyler Murray scream with lightning streaming into him after the win?
  #103  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:24 PM
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No way that screen pass on the 2-pt conversion was ever going to work. The Dolphins are going to win this thing, because they're trying harder (to lose)!
  #104  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:26 PM
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That was pathetic, and par for the course.
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  #105  
Old 10-13-2019, 04:49 PM
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Dolphins stay on top in their race to the bottom.

I may have got that wrong.
  #106  
Old 10-13-2019, 05:21 PM
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It was a well orchestrated one point loss, you know, to fool the skeptics. I can imagine Brian Flores telling Ryan Fitzpatrick to take it easy. We made it look good, but we don't want to win here. Fitzpatrick complied, even though he knows his efforts are designed to replace him.

Last edited by Harrington; 10-13-2019 at 05:23 PM.
  #107  
Old 10-13-2019, 07:03 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
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  #108  
Old 10-13-2019, 09:15 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
The return of Sam Darnold, clearly.

And, just like that, we're down to two winless teams: the Bengals, and the Dolphins.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 10-13-2019 at 09:17 PM.
  #109  
Old 10-16-2019, 12:58 PM
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Week Six Fallout


And then there were two...

The Redskins won because the Dolphins went for a two-point conversion instead of a tying point after. This was probably because a tie at the end of overtime was feeling inevitable.

The Jets got their 1st Round QB back and beat the Cowboys. This disappointed fans of the awe-inspiring ineptitude, but delighted every non-Dallas fanbase in the country.

Here are our remaining Two Telentless Teams, sorted by yards gained minus yards allowed. Also shown is average margin of loss, and their next opponent:
Miami Dolphins 0-5, -205.6 yds/gm (-27.6 ppg) at Bills (4-1, +4.0 ppg)
Cincinnati Bengals 0-6, -118.3 yds/gm (-10.3 ppg) host Jaguars (2-4, -2.3 ppg)

I'll now include 1-win teams, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-4, -137.8 yds/gm (-12.0 ppg) host Patriots (6-0, +23.7 ppg)
Washington Redskins 1-5, -98.5 yds/gm (-12.8 ppg) host 49ers (5-0, +16.6 ppg)
Atlanta Falcons 1-5, +2.5 yds/gm (-8.5 ppg) host Rams (3-3, -0.2 ppg)
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  #110  
Old 10-16-2019, 02:52 PM
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Jets are currently leading the Cowboys. What the hell?
How 'bout: "The hype surrounding that team from Texas was overblown after they won 3 games against three of the worst teams in the N.F.L. this season and now they're being shown for what they really are - 'just another team' masquerading as a S.B. contender."
  #111  
Old 10-16-2019, 03:36 PM
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Somebody is going to “win” the NFC East.

I’d bet the Eagles right now.
  #112  
Old 10-23-2019, 12:47 PM
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Fun little twist on the upcoming Miami vs Steelers game:

Quote:
Miami has the 2019 Steelers first round pick. Handing them an L on Monday night would move the Steelers into the bottom 5 records. Winning for Miami would move them from 1 to 2, and they would still be in control of their “Tua destiny”, as losing out from that point gives the Jets wins and the Bengals a win. This would guaranteed move the back into the #1 overall 2019 pick.
  #113  
Old 10-23-2019, 02:49 PM
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I'll now include 1-win teams, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-4, -137.8 yds/gm (-12.0 ppg) host Patriots (6-0, +23.7 ppg)
I definitely think the Jets deserve to be back in the race after a monumentally pitiful effort against the Patriots.

Coming off a solid performance against the Cowboys (quarterback rating 113.8), Sam Darnold was close to hopeless (11 completions, 4 interceptions, one lost fumble, QB rating 003.6, troubled by "ghosts").
  #114  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:39 AM
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Week Eight Ramifications


I missed a Week Seven update, but never fear, nobody won then.

After a Monday Night scare early, the Dolphins reverted to being very Dolphin-y, giving up 27 unanswered and never scoring again. Way to not give up on the dream, guys. They even got a little extra salt rubbed in by letting one of their tank trades intercept them twice.

Meanwhile, the Bungles literally fell over themselves to give Cooper Kupp a career day, and generally acted as the Washington Generals so the Rams could give Londoners a show.

Here are our remaining Two Substandard Squadrons, sorted by sacks per game. Also shown is average margin of loss, and their next opponent:
Cincinnati Bengals 0-8, 1.13 sacks/gm (-10.8 ppg) on BYE
Miami Dolphins 0-7, 1.29 sacks/gm (-23.0 ppg) host Jets (1-6, -15.3 ppg)

None of the 1-win teams won, because they suck, too:
New York Jets 1-6, 1.29 sacks/gm (-15.3 ppg) at Dolphins (0-7, -23.0 ppg)
Washington Redskins 1-7, 2.38 sacks/gm (-12.0 ppg) at Bills (5-2, +1.7 ppg)
Atlanta Falcons 1-7, 0.88 sacks/gm (-10.6 ppg) on BYE

Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. Somehow I don't think there will be ghosts to see in Hard Rock Stadium. (Or, as my two-year-old would put it, "No rawrs. All gone rawrs.") But then again, the green New York City team is fully capable of shooting themselves in the foot.

The Bills should pad their wildcard resume against Washington. Who'll start at QB and will they finish the game?
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  #115  
Old 10-29-2019, 09:53 AM
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Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. Somehow I don't think there will be ghosts to see in Hard Rock Stadium. (Or, as my two-year-old would put it, "No rawrs. All gone rawrs.") But then again, the green New York City team is fully capable of shooting themselves in the foot.
The "attempted" 2-point conversion at the end of the Washington game was pretty definitive proof that the Dolphins are losing intentionally, and they will not be denied. The play had absolutely zero chance of succeeding. Had the Redskins just stepped aside, I'm certain Fitz still would have just thrown the ball at the RB's feet. It was the most obvious dive I've ever seen in the NFL.
  #116  
Old 11-03-2019, 09:19 PM
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...
Miami has one of their many chances to screw this endeavor up this week with the Jets coming to town. ...
Sure enough, the Dolphins screwed themselves by winning. Proving bad teams can't even tank properly. According to tankathon.com, they'd pick 4th if the draft happened now.
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  #117  
Old 11-05-2019, 06:52 PM
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we're #1!!! We're #1!!! We're #1!!!
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  #118  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:42 PM
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I think the Bengals would definitely pick a QB at #1.

Or #2 #3 or #4.

I picked "Tank for Tua" for the thread title because it sounds catchy, but it seems Tagovailoa is underperforming. Justin Herbert, too.

I haven't really gotten to watch any college football. Anybody else have a scouting report for top prospects?
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  #119  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:44 PM
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The good news for the Dolphins is that they still play the Bengals and the Jets again. So if they lose out they'll be back in the #1 spot.
  #120  
Old 11-06-2019, 01:57 PM
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I picked "Tank for Tua" for the thread title because it sounds catchy, but it seems Tagovailoa is underperforming. Justin Herbert, too.

I haven't really gotten to watch any college football. Anybody else have a scouting report for top prospects?
Is Joe Burrow a senior? He could be the next Tom Brady.
  #121  
Old 11-10-2019, 07:45 PM
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Cincinnati is the lone winless team and Washington is the only one win team.
  #122  
Old 11-10-2019, 08:03 PM
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Giants are still in it having lost to the Jets today.
  #123  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:28 AM
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Can I brag that I bet the Dolphins ML this week?
  #124  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:38 PM
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Is Joe Burrow a senior?
Bombing for Burrow? Blow it for Burrow? Being Bad for Burrow?
  #125  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:46 PM
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Is Joe Burrow a senior?
Redshirt senior, yes.
  #126  
Old 11-12-2019, 12:56 PM
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Bombing for Burrow? Blow it for Burrow? Being Bad for Burrow?
How about “Burrowing in the Dirt”?
  #127  
Old Yesterday, 11:57 AM
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Bengals still winless, but still have Miami and the Jets on the schedule. Skins have the Jets next, and probably no other winnable games after that, so if they lose this Sunday, they could have a real shot at the top pick. #2 pick, for them, is effectively just as good.
  #128  
Old Today, 01:52 PM
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Tua Tagovailoa got carted off the field after convincing Nick Saban to let him play one more series in a blowout.
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  #129  
Old Today, 08:01 PM
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Bengals still winless, but still have Miami and the Jets on the schedule. Skins have the Jets next, and probably no other winnable games after that, so if they lose this Sunday, they could have a real shot at the top pick. #2 pick, for them, is effectively just as good.
With so many holes in the ‘Skins, I don’t see them going for a QB unless something crazy happens. Haskins will get at least one full season as starter.
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  #130  
Old Today, 09:10 PM
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Tua was initially rumored to have a fractured hip, but the latest is a dislocated hip, which doesn't sound much better to me but apparently is.

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With so many holes in the ‘Skins, I don’t see them going for a QB unless something crazy happens. Haskins will get at least one full season as starter.
2020 is allegedly deep at OL and WR. I could see Washington accidentally drafting some quality players trying to support Haskins.
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