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  #17351  
Old 10-11-2014, 01:28 PM
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In Battle for the Planet of the Apes, the students are writing the Ape/Ape law down. Cornelius writes "Ape shall not kill Abe" and gives it to his teacher, Abe.
Best User name/Post combo I have seen.
  #17352  
Old 10-11-2014, 01:45 PM
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Wow, what a stupid mess. I wonder if the guy is actually afraid to press charges.
  #17353  
Old 10-11-2014, 02:09 PM
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Hurrah, an update on the Palin brawl, now with police reports! A family full of assholes.
Wow, 7 eyewitness accounts that corroborate the victim's story but Bristol Palin isn't being charged? WTF???
  #17354  
Old 10-11-2014, 02:13 PM
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Came up with a name for the Palins. "Tundra Trash". A quick Google search shows someone beat me to it. I swear it's getting harder to have an original thought.
  #17355  
Old 10-11-2014, 02:59 PM
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Wow, 7 eyewitness accounts that corroborate the victim's story but Bristol Palin isn't being charged? WTF???
He wouldn't press charges. He also showed remarkable restraint (or stupidity, depending on your point of view) in not hitting back or even ducking the first five punches. The bitch would have been down for the count after the first swing in my world.
  #17356  
Old 10-11-2014, 03:14 PM
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He wouldn't press charges. He also showed remarkable restraint (or stupidity, depending on your point of view) in not hitting back or even ducking the first five punches. The bitch would have been down for the count after the first swing in my world.
I was raised a gentleman, I would never hit somebody without a Johnson.
  #17357  
Old 10-11-2014, 03:16 PM
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....The bitch would have been down for the count after the first swing in my world.
Yeah, that shit don't go in savage, brutal Portland.

Last edited by elucidator; 10-11-2014 at 03:17 PM.
  #17358  
Old 10-11-2014, 03:51 PM
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Lol, the Asian Republican Coalition is full of white people

Quote:
Yet, the Asian Republican Coalition appears to be in an awkward position: It seems unable to find many people of Asian descent to endorse or support its cause.
Where's a few token Asian people when you need them?
  #17359  
Old 10-11-2014, 05:04 PM
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Yeah, that shit don't go in savage, brutal Portland.
Before I became a pacifist Portland hipster doofus, I was retired military, and before that a born and raised Alaskan. Someone swings on me, I swing back.
  #17360  
Old 10-11-2014, 05:11 PM
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He wouldn't press charges. He also showed remarkable restraint (or stupidity, depending on your point of view) in not hitting back or even ducking the first five punches. The bitch would have been down for the count after the first swing in my world.
But, there is no provision or possibility for the authorities to press charges in an abusive situation regardless if a victim does not want to press charges?

Yeah, I know, they have officially decided to not press charges; but in many violent recent cases, where authorities decided early to not do a thing, are finding later that the public smells a rat and the authorities suddenly do find a way to do something.

Last edited by GIGObuster; 10-11-2014 at 05:13 PM.
  #17361  
Old 10-11-2014, 06:10 PM
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Unless the cops are witness to it, you really need either someone willing to press charges or an indictment. The guy has to live with these nutballs in his town. Pressing charges for anything that isn't a slam-dunk felony will just buy him more trouble than it is worth. Not that sluts like Bristol aren't going to end up in prison eventually. Just not now, for this offense. But eventually.
  #17362  
Old 10-11-2014, 08:22 PM
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Hurrah, an update on the Palin brawl, now with police reports! A family full of assholes.
I'm just glad Sarah's family moved out of Minnesota before she was born.
  #17363  
Old 10-11-2014, 08:55 PM
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You know who would've flown a rainbow flag?
  #17364  
Old 10-11-2014, 10:20 PM
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Came up with a name for the Palins. "Tundra Trash". A quick Google search shows someone beat me to it. I swear it's getting harder to have an original thought.
I've shamelessly stolen this from the comments on Charlie Pierce's blog on Esquire:

This family is looking for a Tennessee Williams' play to haunt, without any sense of irony or self-awareness.
  #17365  
Old 10-12-2014, 05:29 AM
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You know how it is with those art students.
  #17366  
Old 10-13-2014, 11:59 AM
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I've shamelessly stolen this from the comments on Charlie Pierce's blog on Esquire:

This family is looking for a Tennessee Williams' play to haunt, without any sense of irony or self-awareness.
Excellent.
  #17367  
Old 10-13-2014, 03:12 PM
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Not precisely Republican, per se, but boy howdy is this one dripping with teh stupid:

ChristWire: Obama is infecting Christains with Ebola to Destroy Jesus and start a New Age of Liberal Darkness!

Be aware that reading this story may cause a temporary (or permanent) drop in your IQ.

Summary: the "bo" in ebola stands for Barack Obama; he has the cure, but only for supporters; the cure also injects you with a "RDIF" chip (whatever that is), which will emerge as the Mark of the Beast.
  #17368  
Old 10-13-2014, 03:26 PM
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Not precisely Republican, per se, but boy howdy is this one dripping with teh stupid:

ChristWire: Obama is infecting Christains with Ebola to Destroy Jesus and start a New Age of Liberal Darkness!

Be aware that reading this story may cause a temporary (or permanent) drop in your IQ.

Summary: the "bo" in ebola stands for Barack Obama; he has the cure, but only for supporters; the cure also injects you with a "RDIF" chip (whatever that is), which will emerge as the Mark of the Beast.
I'm pretty sure that's a satire site. Among its other stories:

Giant Crab Monster Tests Mitt Romney For Power Over The USA (from 2012)

Team USA Uniforms Laced With Steroids, Chinese Seastresses To Blame (from 2012)

Chinese Cosmonauts Caught Faking SpaceWalk All Underwater (2009)
  #17369  
Old 10-13-2014, 03:32 PM
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That last conspiracy fantasy -- that the Chinese spacewalk was faked in a big tank of water -- was seriously bruited about in the conspiroverse, so its inclusion doesn't go too far to demonstrate that the place is a hoax site.

It's so goddam hard to tell these days!
  #17370  
Old 10-13-2014, 04:18 PM
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oops

damn you, Poe, damn you
  #17371  
Old 10-13-2014, 04:48 PM
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nm

Last edited by silenus; 10-13-2014 at 04:48 PM.
  #17372  
Old 10-13-2014, 07:15 PM
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GOP Female Outreach, Part 46.

GOP Female Outreach, Part 47.

If they shoot themselves in foot any more often, they'll have to become Life Members of the NRA.

Last edited by silenus; 10-13-2014 at 07:17 PM.
  #17373  
Old 10-13-2014, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silenus View Post
GOP Female Outreach, Part 47.

If they shoot themselves in foot any more often, they'll have to become Life Members of the NRA.
I like this part of the story:
Quote:
By contrast, he wrote, Kuster's Republican challenger, State Rep. Marilinda Garcia, is "one of the most attractive women on the political scene anywhere, not so attractive as to be intimidating [sic], but truly attractive."
(bolding mine)

"Intimidating"? WTF? This guy is intimidated by attractive women? WTF is that all about?

Is there anything that conservatives don't fear?
  #17374  
Old 10-13-2014, 09:02 PM
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I like this part of the story:
(bolding mine)

"Intimidating"? WTF? This guy is intimidated by attractive women? WTF is that all about?

Is there anything that conservatives don't fear?
Fear itself?
  #17375  
Old 10-13-2014, 09:09 PM
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You rang?
  #17376  
Old 10-13-2014, 09:18 PM
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You rang?
Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there!
  #17377  
Old 10-13-2014, 09:38 PM
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You rang?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there!
Lurch: "Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-uh!"
  #17378  
Old 10-13-2014, 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
I like this part of the story:
(bolding mine)

"Intimidating"? WTF? This guy is intimidated by attractive women? WTF is that all about?

Is there anything that conservatives don't fear?
Quote:
Originally Posted by running coach View Post
Fear itself?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear Itself View Post
You rang?

That was... beautiful...
  #17379  
Old 10-14-2014, 03:55 PM
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Republican local official in Missouri wonders why military hasnít launched coup against "domestic enemy" Obama.
  #17380  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:22 PM
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Oof! I expected a fat, pasty, balding, middle-aged white guy. I don't know why, but I am always taken aback when this type of idiocy comes from a woman.
  #17381  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:33 PM
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Scott Walker: the minimum wage ďdoesnít serve a purposeĒ.
  #17382  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:37 PM
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Oof! I expected a fat, pasty, balding, middle-aged white guy. I don't know why, but I am always taken aback when this type of idiocy comes from a woman.
The richest part is:

Quote:
But I cannot and do not understand why no action is being taken against our domestic enemy. I know he is supposedly the commander in chief, but the constitution gives you the authority.
This idiot is an actual elected official, however minor.

Obligatory Onion.
  #17383  
Old 10-14-2014, 04:57 PM
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The richest part is:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debbie Downer
But I cannot and do not understand why no action is being taken against our domestic enemy. I know he is supposedly the commander in chief, but the constitution gives you the authority.
I would love to know what oath of office she took when she was sworn in. All I can find is that the Jefferson County Recorder of Deeds does get sworn in.

"Supposedly" the commander in chief.
  #17384  
Old 10-14-2014, 08:41 PM
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She thinks people like you are totally blowing this out of proportion:
Quote:
"Something innocent and simple got twisted into a disaster because it's an election," she said. "I meant no ill intent toward the president. I meant no ill intent toward anybody."
  #17385  
Old 10-14-2014, 08:49 PM
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Republican Speaker John "I'm suing the president" Boehner doesn't like frivolous lawsuits.
Quote:
Frivolous lawsuits drive up the cost of everything Americans do. Commonsense limits will help lower costs.
And then of course he immediately dropped his frivolous lawsuit against Obama.

Last edited by hotflungwok; 10-14-2014 at 08:50 PM.
  #17386  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:06 PM
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I can defend that one. It's not a frivolous lawsuit. The President has exceeded his powers.
  #17387  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:08 PM
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Crawl back under your rock, moron.
  #17388  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:26 PM
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It's not a frivolous lawsuit.
You are entirely correct. For that to be the case, it would have to be filed.
  #17389  
Old 10-14-2014, 09:51 PM
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I can defend that one. It's not a frivolous lawsuit. The President has exceeded his powers.
There's already a constitutional remedy for that situation, and it doesn't involve Congress suing the President in federal court. Impeachment is a political solution for a political problem. If Boehner can't convince enough of Congress (in both houses) to impeach the President, then apparently Obama's supposed crimes aren't really serious enough to warrant a response.
  #17390  
Old 10-14-2014, 10:47 PM
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Obama's "crime" is being black.
  #17391  
Old 10-14-2014, 10:51 PM
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There's already a constitutional remedy for that situation, and it doesn't involve Congress suing the President in federal court. Impeachment is a political solution for a political problem. If Boehner can't convince enough of Congress (in both houses) to impeach the President, then apparently Obama's supposed crimes aren't really serious enough to warrant a response.
Impeachment is an extreme act only to be used in cases of extreme Presidential lawlessness.

A better approach than either suing or impeachment would be to simply expand the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court by statute, telling them that they need to adjudicate these legislative-executive disputes even if no one has standing. SCOTUS overturned Trumans' takeover of the steel companies, so they are willing to go here when they believe they have a political leg to stand on. Congress should give them that leg. SCOTUS should decide these cases simply by having a certain number of Congressmen ask them to.
  #17392  
Old 10-14-2014, 10:55 PM
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SCOTUS refuses to get into the middle of battles between the other branches. They might even decide that such a change to their remit would be unconstitutional.
  #17393  
Old 10-14-2014, 10:58 PM
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Impeachment is an extreme act only to be used in cases of extreme Presidential lawlessness.

A better approach than either suing or impeachment would be to simply expand the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court by statute, telling them that they need to adjudicate these legislative-executive disputes even if no one has standing. SCOTUS overturned Trumans' takeover of the steel companies, so they are willing to go here when they believe they have a political leg to stand on. Congress should give them that leg. SCOTUS should decide these cases simply by having a certain number of Congressmen ask them to.
The jumbled drivel of a disordered mind.

Which is to say, you're getting better.
  #17394  
Old 10-14-2014, 11:10 PM
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Impeachment is an extreme act only to be used in cases of extreme Presidential lawlessness.
You really want to go there? Because you are stepping right on the precipice of the most abysmal chasm of Republican Stupid.
  #17395  
Old 10-14-2014, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adaher View Post
Impeachment is an extreme act only to be used in cases of extreme Presidential lawlessness.

A better approach than either suing or impeachment would be to simply expand the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court by statute, telling them that they need to adjudicate these legislative-executive disputes even if no one has standing. SCOTUS overturned Trumans' takeover of the steel companies, so they are willing to go here when they believe they have a political leg to stand on. Congress should give them that leg. SCOTUS should decide these cases simply by having a certain number of Congressmen ask them to.
So the legislative branch should be telling the judicial branch how to do their jobs.
Way to fuck up checks and balances there, buddy.
  #17396  
Old 10-14-2014, 11:31 PM
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The fact that Congress decides the jurisdiction of the courts is pretty well established. The courts already allow challenges in 1st amendment cases without standing. And they have also been willing to get involved in legislative-executive disputes when they believe it appropriate to do so. Congress giving them explicit legal authority to decide constitutional questions without standing being necessary would be helpful.
  #17397  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:08 AM
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So, adaher never seems to ever wonder if the Republicans are deceiving, ripping, flimflamming, hustling, double-crossing, hosing, sucker punching or pulling his leg when after all that talk and leaving the imprison that they filed the lawsuit in reality they have not done so?

The super-cynical in me expects that Bohener will eventually file, but when for all intents and practical purposes the case will never reach the Supreme court for a verdict as it will be a moot point since Obama will not be president by then.

Last edited by GIGObuster; 10-15-2014 at 12:09 AM.
  #17398  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:23 AM
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Congress should give them that leg. SCOTUS should decide these cases simply by having a certain number of Congressmen ask them to.
What "certain number" did you have in mind, and can Obama veto their decision?
  #17399  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:27 AM
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Impeachment is an extreme act only to be used in cases of extreme Presidential lawlessness.

A better approach than either suing or impeachment would be to simply expand the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court by statute, telling them that they need to adjudicate these legislative-executive disputes even if no one has standing. SCOTUS overturned Trumans' takeover of the steel companies, so they are willing to go here when they believe they have a political leg to stand on. Congress should give them that leg. SCOTUS should decide these cases simply by having a certain number of Congressmen ask them to.
I move a vote of thanks to adaher for showing up to deliver a SRIOTD to the thread in person. Most of his cohort require us to go out and scour the interwebs to collect their, um, offerings.
  #17400  
Old 10-15-2014, 12:33 AM
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What "certain number" did you have in mind, and can Obama veto their decision?
Call it 50. It can be 20 or 200, doesn't really matter. No, Obama could not veto a Supreme Court decision.

However, we do need to establish what the boundaries are as far as a President choosing not to enforce laws. Obama has really pushed the envelope in that regard and you can guarantee the next GOP President will take that to the next level. Perhaps lower taxes without the need for Congressional approval by simply not enforcing any tax rate over 25%.
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