Straight Dope Message Board

[Emiliana]

For the Obvious Troll is Obvious award of the week, I'd like to nominate GlowingDarkness, in recognition of these fine efforts:

Do Nice Guys Ever Get the Sexy Time?

Why Do Drug Addicts Get All Addicted?

Christ Almighty, It was Only the One Rape!

Why Be People Sheeple?

I Met Her in a Club Down in Old Soho Where You Drink Champagne and It Tastes Just Like Cherry Cola

Okay, maybe they aren't all trolling threads. But overall it's an outstanding body of work. And these are only about half of the threads he's started recently.

(I realize that I may be the only person interested in an omnibus troll thread in the Pit. Hell, even I feel pretty half-hearted about the whole thing.) 1

[panache45]

And of course, this is definitely NOT a troll thread. 2

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by panache45

And of course, this is definitely NOT a troll thread.

You are correct. It is not a troll thread. It may be a stupid thread, of course. 3

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by Emiliana

For the Obvious Troll is Obvious award of the week, I'd like to nominate GlowingDarkness, in recognition of these fine efforts:

Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think? 4

[running coach]

Originally Posted by John Mace

Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think?

He's challenging boffking. 5

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by running coach

He's challenging boffking.

You read my mind! 6

[Richard Parker]

There's a certain kind of trolling that is indistinguishable from mental illness. And I don't mean just that you cannot tell intent from the posts. I mean that if you actually got an honest interview with the poster, even if they subjectively thought they were a mentally balanced person trolling as a lark, in actuality they would have some kind of diagnosable mental illness.

I'm much less troubled by "trolls" who are obvious. It's the trolls who make an effort to hide below the radar and just selectively stir shit up or profess some insincere bullshit for fun that I think are annoying, since part of the value of the board is interacting with posters' actual beliefs. 7

[Morgenstern]

Here's another one pinging my trolldar.

New member. May 2016
Typical trollish "personal dilema" thread as their first post.
Passive aggressive response style.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=793737 8

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by Morgenstern

Here's another one pinging my trolldar.

New member. May 2016
Typical trollish "personal dilema" thread as their first post.
Passive aggressive response style.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=793737

A definitive ping. Hmmm, how can I say something asinine about the military and Christianity at the same time? Eureka! 9

[guizot]

Originally Posted by John Mace

Total posts = 56
Threads started = 42

I think that says it all.

What do you guys think?

(= .75) I think that's an excellent metric in general. It should appear next to one's post count. (And why not--they should call it the John Mace quotient, because you're the first to apply it, at least IME.) 10

[Ambivalid]

Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too. 11

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by Emiliana

For the Obvious Troll is Obvious award of the week, I'd like to nominate GlowingDarkness, in recognition of these fine efforts:

Do Nice Guys Ever Get the Sexy Time?

Why Do Drug Addicts Get All Addicted?

Christ Almighty, It was Only the One Rape!

Why Be People Sheeple?

I Met Her in a Club Down in Old Soho Where You Drink Champagne and It Tastes Just Like Cherry Cola

An addition to the collection:

Why don't people like pedophiles and wife beaters? 12

[Miller]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.

But points for an accurate user name! 13

[Colibri]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.

I was amazed when she claimed to have a Ph.D., too. 14

[digs]

If you click on the Nice Guys thread, you get a twofer. GlowingD's cluelessness and CCitizen, who (despite being repeatedly told it's bullshit) keeps stating variations of:

Originally Posted by CCitizen

Most men who have money can find a woman. Even most antifeminist men who have money will find a woman. PUAs are generally antifeminist and yet they find many women.

I am not looking for female friends until I will have a salary like $50K/year -- which I will never have.

15

[BigT]

Originally Posted by Richard Parker

I'm much less troubled by "trolls" who are obvious. It's the trolls who make an effort to hide below the radar and just selectively stir shit up or profess some insincere bullshit for fun that I think are annoying, since part of the value of the board is interacting with posters' actual beliefs.

Which is exactly why I like the idea of an omnibus thread for the obvious ones. You get a little mad, but not mad enough for a full pit thread. 16

[Grrr!]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Someone should pit spamforbrains. I don't believe any poster has ever been more consistently wrong than her. Bonus points for smugness too.

I believe adaher and spamforrains may be soul mates. 17

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by digs

If you click on the Nice Guys thread, you get a twofer. GlowingD's cluelessness and CCitizen, who (despite being repeatedly told it's bullshit) keeps stating variations of:

CCitizen is either a troll with a long game or a record on auto-replay. Hard to tell. Update music reference as appropriate.

Spamforbrains doesn't set off my troll-dar. Rings my WTF-dar all the time though. 18

[Telemark]

Originally Posted by Emiliana

An addition to the collection:

Why don't people like pedophiles and wife beaters?

And yet another entry Are blacks really screwing up Africa? 19

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by Emiliana

Christ Almighty, It was Only the One Rape!

That was the one that did it for me. 20

[BubbaDog]

So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second. 21

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.

Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy? 22

[Morgenstern]

Socks sake, cover your ankles.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...84&postcount=3 23

[digs]

Originally Posted by kayaker

Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy?

I seem to be a magnet for students 'on the spectrum', and some of them have so little 'verbal socialization*' that they'd be indistinct from chatbots. In fact, looking through CCitizen's posts, he does ask a question relating to how an autistic person communicates.


*"Okay, I've compiled a list of all the ways that chimeras are superior to gryphons and don't even get me started on hippogriffs no this is a whole new list because it's on graph paper this time and I know you told me not to interrupt class to share these with everyone but look at the graph paper so this would require a different ruling from the bench and I KNOW this is the middle of class oh you're at the board in the middle of diagramming something but number 17 is flight because I should tell everyone in the school this one because a gryphon can fly techhhhnically but the wingspan would need to be immense because of the heavy muscular torso okay I'll sit down but I'll try to pass this list to all the popular kids and I'll have to get up to give it to Jessie Jablonski who always sits over by the windows WOO HOO graph paper rules! In your face, three hole punched college ruled!" 24

[Morgenstern]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.

Actually, there's a third class too. Those whose posts contain more Broomfiction than fact. They aren't trolling as much as using their Broomagination to create Broomtales. Of course, I'd never mention who that poster was. The point is, this trolling isn't offensive or obnoxious so we sort of give them a pass on it. 25

[Azeotrope]

Originally Posted by kayaker

Where do you put artificial intelligence chat bots in your hierarchy?

Slightly above 133+speakers but just below there's this girl who goes to my church and every time I go to talk to her she avoids me, and when I tried to ask her why on Facebook she blocked me. I'm the only one she does this to, because there's a whole group of girls from my church who get together after church every week for sushi and she invited all of them to her wedding in the park except me, and when I tried to ask her why on Facebook she blocked me after posting a nasty message about how I lied about liking sushi. Why would I lie about liking sushi? Also the barrista at Starbucks wouldn't give me a refund on my venti soy chestnut latte because all the sprinkles sank to the bottom so I thought I didn't get any after I asked for them special. 26

[running coach]

Originally Posted by Morgenstern

Actually, there's a third class too. Those whose posts contain more Broomfiction than fact. They aren't trolling as much as using their Broomagination to create Broomtales. Of course, I'd never mention who that poster was. The point is, this trolling isn't offensive or obnoxious so we sort of give them a pass on it.

You're done. 27

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by Miller

But points for an accurate user name!

Oh, how tempting to post that in one of the other forums. So tempting!!

Our troll in the OP has now hit the jackpot with this:

If Europeans had settled in Africa, would they have done a better job than current Africans?

Just asking questions!! 28

[wolfpup]

Originally Posted by running coach

He's challenging boffking.

Does he ever return to his own threads?

Not being a fan of the GlowingDarkness oeuvre, I can't say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio -- noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as the John Mace Quotient in honor of its inventor) -- our luminescent friend apparently wastes little time posting either in his own threads or anyone else's, and merely busies himself starting threads, somewhat like a write-only trollbot. To add to the magnificent collection already cited, the latest write-only achievement in philosophical rumination is "why is pain painful?" an inquiry that I can only imagine was inspired by how we all feel when reading his magnificently abundant threads.

But no, he's not challenging boffking, he is head and shoulders above boffking, who with 451 threads and 1252 posts has a relatively lowly JMQ of just 0.36. But to give boffking credit, most of those posts are in other people's threads. Like the inimitable GlowingDarkness, he has very little interest in his own work. Perhaps it's a form of artistic modesty. 29

[running coach]

Originally Posted by wolfpup

Does he ever return to his own threads?

A few weeks ago, I looked at his last 100 threads he started.

100 threads
24 he returned to for a total of 37 extra posts. (beyond the OP)

His best was 5 extra posts in one thread but he also had a thread he never returned to that had 420 replies. 30

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by wolfpup

Does he ever return to his own threads?

Not being a fan of the GlowingDarkness oeuvre, I can't say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio -- noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as the John Mace Quotient in honor of its inventor) -- our luminescent friend apparently wastes little time posting either in his own threads or anyone else's, and merely busies himself starting threads, somewhat like a write-only trollbot. To add to the magnificent collection already cited, the latest write-only achievement in philosophical rumination is "why is pain painful?" an inquiry that I can only imagine was inspired by how we all feel when reading his magnificently abundant threads.

But no, he's not challenging boffking, he is head and shoulders above boffking, who with 451 threads and 1252 posts has a relatively lowly JMQ of just 0.36. But to give boffking credit, most of those posts are in other people's threads. Like the inimitable GlowingDarkness, he has very little interest in his own work. Perhaps it's a form of artistic modesty.

I think boffking had quite a few posts years ago then a blank period. And then returned recently in his latest incarnation. So a more accurate look at the latter might produce a different mathematical result.

Posting from my phone right now so I'm not really in a position to check that. 31

[Telemark]

Originally Posted by John Mace

I think boffking had quite a few posts years ago then a blank period. And then returned recently in his latest incarnation. So a more accurate look at the latter might produce a different mathematical result.

Perhaps a new metric is needed: # threads never returned to (TNRT) over total threads started (TTS).

Boffking returned to a few threads that apparently he was very passionate about (ignoring any questions or corrections to his scattered OPs) while leaving orphan the majority of his JAQ threads. 32

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by Telemark

Perhaps a new metric is needed: # threads never returned to (TNRT) over total threads started (TTS).

Boffking returned to a few threads that apparently he was very passionate about (ignoring any questions or corrections to his scattered OPs) while leaving orphan the majority of his JAQ threads.

A worthy refinement! 33

[madsircool]

Originally Posted by running coach

A few weeks ago, I looked at his last 100 threads he started.

100 threads
24 he returned to for a total of 37 extra posts. (beyond the OP)

His best was 5 extra posts in one thread but he also had a thread he never returned to that had 420 replies.

Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet. 34

[running coach]

Originally Posted by madsircool

Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet.

We have pets.
This is a hobby. 35

[EinsteinsHund]

Originally Posted by madsircool

Time to get a hobby or maybe a pet.

Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers. 36

[running coach]

Originally Posted by EinsteinsHund

Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers.

Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint. 37

[Morgenstern]

Originally Posted by EinsteinsHund

Ah, come on, amusing oneself with self-made petty statistics has always been a regular pastime for at least 63 percent of dopers.

63.4875% actually. 38

[EinsteinsHund]

Originally Posted by running coach

Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint.

Sorry, it wasn't meant as a shot at you, just a general quip . 39

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by running coach

Actually, there was a thread where several were complaining about his lack of participation and in a fit of idle curiosity, I took a look to see if it was a valid complaint.

The statistics were interesting, thanks! 40

[Emiliana]

Originally Posted by Telemark

And yet another entry Are blacks really screwing up Africa?

Oh dear God.

Anyone want to bet on what's next? Circumcision? Declawing your cats? Another troll did that recently. Do Spoilers Really Ruin Game of Thrones? 41

[Sunny Daze]

Originally Posted by John Mace

Oh, how tempting to post that in one of the other forums. So tempting!!

Our troll in the OP has now hit the jackpot with this:

If Europeans had settled in Africa, would they have done a better job than current Africans?

Just asking questions!!

This is the one that caught my eye. At what point do we (meaning the PTB) pull the plug?

Originally Posted by Emiliana

Oh dear God.

Anyone want to bet on what's next? Circumcision? Declawing your cats? Another troll did that recently. Do Spoilers Really Ruin Game of Thrones?

bolding mine

Now look what you've done. Heads are spinning like tops. 42

[Ludovic]

Yep, one mention of spoilers and then it's Katie hold the door. 43

[elucidator]

It's "Katie bar the door". Which is to say, I see what you did there. And so did Baby Jesus. If I get to Hell first, I'll save you a spot. 44

[cochrane]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

So you're sure that it's not just that these people are idiots.

I must be charitable. I think idiots first, trolls second.

Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." 45

[John Mace]

Originally Posted by cochrane

Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Yeah, there are trolls that purposely try and tweak people, and then there are the idiots who find a button and see that pushing the button makes the puppets dance. Then they try another button and see that the puppets dance again. And then on to the next button... 46

[BigT]

Originally Posted by cochrane

Hanson's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Trolling is one example where that doesn't really work--since the trolls have every reason to try and hide that way.

Hell, that's the entire modus operandi of a rather famous professional troll that I saw featured not long ago. 47

[madsircool]

We need more trolls like him. 48

[Morgenstern]

He's back.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=794036

12 beers and 7 hot dogs later, he waddles over to his computer and found the bookmark for the SDMB. 49

[bobot]

Originally Posted by BigT

...
featured
...

That is some pretty damn funny shit right there! SDMB could use some trolls like that. 50