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  #17451  
Old 03-12-2020, 08:40 PM
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As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her, and she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead.
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"Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! That's my other dog imitation." - Oddball
  #17452  
Old 03-13-2020, 07:45 AM
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Now, both you and the police have as much as accused me of being mixed up in the other night's murders. Well, I've had trouble with both of you before. And as far as I can see my best chance of clearing myself of the trouble you're trying to make for me, is by bringing in the murderers all tied up. And the only chance I've got of catching them, and tying them up, and bringing them in, is by staying as far away as possible from you and the police, because you'd only gum up the works.
  #17453  
Old 03-13-2020, 07:57 AM
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I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer.
  #17454  
Old 03-13-2020, 08:18 AM
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Experience has taught me never to trust a policeman. Just when you think one's all right, he turns legit.
  #17455  
Old 03-13-2020, 08:29 AM
KneadToKnow is offline
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You disloyal, fool-ass, bitch-made punk.
  #17456  
Old 03-13-2020, 10:27 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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You'll always find a new trick to deceive me.
  #17457  
Old 03-13-2020, 05:06 PM
Andy L is offline
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What's that smell in this room? Didn't you notice it, Brick? Didn't you notice a powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity in this room?... There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity... You can smell it. It smells like death.
  #17458  
Old 03-14-2020, 06:57 AM
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The characteristic smell of bitter almonds!
  #17459  
Old 03-14-2020, 04:05 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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"I look like that? I look like that."

"Now, now, don't be bitter."
  #17460  
Old 03-15-2020, 05:31 PM
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It's like he bit her to make it burn.
  #17461  
Old 03-16-2020, 02:54 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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You were not bitten by a werewolf. You will not become a werewolf, any more than I will sprout wings and fly out of that window.
  #17462  
Old 03-19-2020, 10:06 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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Everything is unprecedented until it happens for the first time.
  #17463  
Old 03-19-2020, 09:08 PM
Andy L is offline
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"Nervous?"
"Yes."
"First time?"
" No, I've been nervous lots of times."
  #17464  
Old 03-20-2020, 08:31 AM
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High anxiety ... it's always the same;
High anxiety ... it's you that I blame.
It's very clear to me I've got to give in.
High anxiety: you win.
  #17465  
Old 03-20-2020, 09:21 AM
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Do not worry. I'm not a man who's affectionate in the morning hours.
  #17466  
Old 03-21-2020, 08:28 AM
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Hold your breath and lie down.
  #17467  
Old 03-21-2020, 11:18 AM
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Dont cry baby. Knew this was one way ticket, but you know I had to come. Love you wife.
  #17468  
Old 03-21-2020, 01:01 PM
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It was a typical wedding: enemies of the bride on the right, enemies of the groom on the left.
  #17469  
Old 03-21-2020, 03:45 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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"When Tropp come for me, she was in the middle of getting married. And they're holding up the 'love, honor and obey' part until I get back."

"You mean you walked out in the middle of the wedding?"

Last edited by Dendarii Dame; 03-21-2020 at 03:45 PM.
  #17470  
Old 03-23-2020, 03:12 PM
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"Who says a woman has to be married?"
  #17471  
Old 03-23-2020, 08:29 PM
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You better get married soon. You're starting to look... old!

...Yes! Get married, make babies! You look so... old!
  #17472  
Old 03-24-2020, 02:59 PM
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Bring honor to us all!
  #17473  
Old 03-24-2020, 04:08 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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Boromir, you have fought bravely. You have kept your honor.
  #17474  
Old 03-24-2020, 05:16 PM
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Die! Die! Die!
  #17475  
Old 03-24-2020, 05:27 PM
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When you hear the pellets drop, count to ten. Take a deep breath. It's easier that way.
  #17476  
Old 03-25-2020, 04:31 PM
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You know what I sometimes wish? I sometimes wish I *were*... ordinary. Like you. Dead ordinary. Ordinary and *dead* like all the others.
  #17477  
Old 03-26-2020, 05:58 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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The bigger the wish, the bigger the trouble!
  #17478  
Old 03-26-2020, 06:02 PM
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Honey, I blew up the kid.
  #17479  
Old 03-27-2020, 02:20 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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"It's just honey, Barry."

"It's just... What? This is our whole life, and you're taking it without permission! This is stealing! You're taking our homes, our schools, our hospitals... It's all we have! And it's on sale? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. I'm gonna get to the bottom of all of it!"
  #17480  
Old 03-27-2020, 02:25 PM
Andy L is offline
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You know what's great about hitting rock bottom, there's only one way left to go, and that's up!
  #17481  
Old 03-28-2020, 09:28 AM
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Huh? I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.
  #17482  
Old 03-28-2020, 03:14 PM
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People used to think it was strange 'cause I breast-fed him 'til he was almost five, but I say - hunh, just look at the results!
  #17483  
Old 03-28-2020, 03:32 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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"It's Strange."

"Maybe. Who am I to judge?"
  #17484  
Old 03-28-2020, 08:09 PM
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I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.
  #17485  
Old 03-29-2020, 12:05 AM
Trisha Gaurav is offline
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Never. Iíll never turn to the dark side.
  #17486  
Old 03-29-2020, 09:53 AM
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So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
  #17487  
Old 03-29-2020, 01:14 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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Back in the 1960's, a reporter from a national magazine went to the governor of our Lone Star state, and asked, "Governor, what's your idea of what a real Texan ought to be?" And the governor said, "Son, that's easy. Just go down to Rio County and get a look at Sheriff Buddy Deeds."
  #17488  
Old 03-30-2020, 10:21 AM
KneadToKnow is offline
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Fuckin' Texas.
  #17489  
Old 03-30-2020, 11:07 AM
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You all think that the glory happened here in the East, don't you, with Valley Forge and Bunker Hill? Do you know about San Jacinto? Have you heard about the Alamo?
  #17490  
Old 03-30-2020, 01:05 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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Glory hallelujah.
  #17491  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:42 PM
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Viva Max!
  #17492  
Old 03-30-2020, 11:32 PM
ekedolphin is offline
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"Max!"
*pulls up*
"Follow that frog!"
*takes off*
"MAX!"
*comes back*
"Follow that frog, with ME in the car!"
  #17493  
Old 03-31-2020, 12:37 PM
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Push the button, Max!
  #17494  
Old 03-31-2020, 02:10 PM
KneadToKnow is offline
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Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!
  #17495  
Old 03-31-2020, 04:39 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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The only thing to do here is to drive just as fast as you know how, and hope your car doesn't break.
  #17496  
Old 04-01-2020, 10:51 AM
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Peel out, I just love it when guys peel out.
  #17497  
Old 04-01-2020, 10:55 AM
saucywench is offline
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It must be the car. Chick’s always dig the car.
  #17498  
Old 04-01-2020, 11:34 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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Betty, move to the back of the car.
  #17499  
Old Yesterday, 06:21 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
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You're Betty's father. You're a high-ranking general.
  #17500  
Old Today, 06:39 AM
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He is most capable yet unpretentious. Unusual for a general.
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