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  #251  
Old 12-26-2013, 12:55 PM
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But everybody told me that Round Bob said I had an evil eye, and wouldn't sit by me.
  #252  
Old 12-26-2013, 01:47 PM
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So, being the friendly sort by nature (remind me to tell you someday about that time back in Minsk - or was it Smolensk? maybe even Moscow, come to think of it - when I was backpacking across Russia and the former Soviet republics, back in 1997 or so, maybe a little later than that, because my sister hadn't had her sixth child by then, yeah, now that I think of it, it must've been 1999, anyway, and I met this guy who was so hostile and uncommunicative - I mean, he just wouldn't say a word, not a one, zip, zero, nada, zilch, no matter how friendly I was, or told him funny stories or offered to make us both hot cocoa and even let him have five mini-marshmallows instead of the usual four, and he still wouldn't give me the time of day, so I killed him, but that's another story), I decided I would make a concerted effort to win him over.
  #253  
Old 12-27-2013, 01:33 AM
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But I didn't like his smell

Last edited by Tread; 12-27-2013 at 01:34 AM.
  #254  
Old 12-27-2013, 09:58 PM
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So, with a friendly smile, I offered him my deodorant stick.
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Old 12-27-2013, 10:04 PM
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But, it gave him a terrible rash.
  #256  
Old 12-28-2013, 10:28 AM
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So, with a friendly smile, I offered him my rash cream.
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Old 12-28-2013, 09:49 PM
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But he was, understandably I suppose, reluctant to put anything else I offered him on his body.
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Old 12-31-2013, 04:33 PM
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So I offered to apply it for him...
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:06 PM
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...but I was arrested for solicitation.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:37 PM
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So now I'm back in jail.

Last edited by kevja; 12-31-2013 at 07:37 PM.
  #261  
Old 12-31-2013, 09:26 PM
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But that's OK, because it's New Year's Eve, and there's nothing going on anywhere anyway.
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Old 01-01-2014, 04:57 PM
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So I got my one phone call and I called a girl whose number was written on the wall...
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Old 01-02-2014, 01:11 PM
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But the "girl" turned out to be a guy...
  #264  
Old 01-12-2014, 03:07 AM
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So I promised to do anything, if he would bail me out

Last edited by Tread; 01-12-2014 at 03:08 AM.
  #265  
Old 01-15-2014, 10:50 AM
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But the "anything" involved two other guys and a dog as well.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 01-15-2014 at 10:51 AM.
  #266  
Old 01-02-2020, 06:48 PM
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After 6 years I was tired of sitting in jail, so I agreed to go swimming with 3 guys and a dog.
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Old 01-02-2020, 10:40 PM
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Moving to Thread Games, which didn't exist at the time.
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Old 01-02-2020, 11:05 PM
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But...all I could do was the backstroke.
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Old 01-02-2020, 11:51 PM
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So I did the backstroke, the "girl" did the breast stroke, the two other guys tread water, and the dog did the dog paddle.
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Old 01-03-2020, 12:12 AM
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But...the dog was drowning.
  #271  
Old 01-03-2020, 03:45 AM
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So I gave it mouth-to-mouth, and for the rest of the day I had a craving for Alpo.
  #272  
Old 01-03-2020, 08:42 AM
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But...all I had was Ol' Roy.
  #273  
Old 01-03-2020, 08:51 AM
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So I tucked in and ate with great gusto.
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Old 01-03-2020, 12:19 PM
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But...I had to share with the others.
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Old 01-03-2020, 02:08 PM
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So I traded some of mine for some of theirs.
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Old 01-03-2020, 03:07 PM
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But all they had was Ol' Roy, too.
  #277  
Old 01-03-2020, 03:10 PM
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So...we all piled in a van and drove to Petsmart.
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Old 01-03-2020, 03:21 PM
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But on the way there we had a flat tire.
  #279  
Old 01-03-2020, 03:32 PM
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So we all decided to hitchhike the rest of the way and held out a hastily scrawled cardboard sign that read "PetSmart or bust for somma dat tasty Ol' Roy"
  #280  
Old 01-03-2020, 03:41 PM
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But...A Walmart associate picked them up, right before it rained.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 01-03-2020 at 03:42 PM.
  #281  
Old 01-03-2020, 04:23 PM
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So we went to Walmart and got a bag of store brand meatballs instead.
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  #282  
Old 01-03-2020, 05:48 PM
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But...the meatballs were frozen.
  #283  
Old 01-03-2020, 07:45 PM
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So we took them home and nuked them.
  #284  
Old 01-03-2020, 11:40 PM
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But...Then the microwave blew up.
  #285  
Old 01-04-2020, 12:35 AM
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So we took the meatballs and sautéed them in a little olive oil.
  #286  
Old 01-04-2020, 09:08 AM
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But the olive oil had gone rancid
  #287  
Old 01-04-2020, 09:34 AM
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So the meatballs tasted more like dog food, which is what we were craving anyway.
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  #288  
Old 01-04-2020, 11:22 AM
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But...there wasn't nearly enough!
  #289  
Old 01-04-2020, 02:28 PM
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So we opened a bag of kibble.
  #290  
Old 01-04-2020, 02:43 PM
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But...there were snails in the bag.
  #291  
Old 01-04-2020, 02:58 PM
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So we sautéed the escargot in a little butter and garlic.
  #292  
Old 01-04-2020, 04:54 PM
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But the dog pissed on the snails before we could eat them.
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  #293  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:02 PM
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So we all went hungry for a while.
  #294  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:09 PM
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But...we decided to go to MickyDs for dinner, before everyone passed out from hunger.
  #295  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:12 PM
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So we all ordered Big Macs, except the dog, who had a Big MacOl'Roy.
  #296  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:16 PM
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But what we all (including the dog) really wanted was corndogs.
  #297  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:33 PM
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So...We went by Sonic on the way back home.
  #298  
Old 01-04-2020, 05:54 PM
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But we made the dog wait outside so he couldn't piss on the corndogs.
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  #299  
Old 01-04-2020, 11:33 PM
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So he was angry, and bit one of the other customers.
  #300  
Old 01-05-2020, 12:04 AM
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But...He never had his rabies shots.
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