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Old 03-25-2020, 05:45 PM
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The assholes who pretend to have corona.


We have two who did it in Walmarts and one from a Karns grocery store. All arrested.
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Old 03-25-2020, 05:48 PM
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Hey, could a mod fix the obvious typo in the thread title?
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Old 03-25-2020, 06:22 PM
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This particular moron discovered that even implying one has it while doing sometihng stupid is not a good idea:

Quote:
A man who police accused of licking items in a Missouri Walmart has been charged with making a terrorist threat.

Cody Lee Pfister, 26, was charged by the Warren County Prosecuting Attorney's Office with making the threat after police said he made a video of himself licking items in a Walmart store.

A video posted to social media shows a man saying to the camera: "Who's scared of the coronavirus? Don't touch your mouth" before licking a row of items on the store shelf.
More at the link.

He's facing a possible four years in prison.

Last edited by Monty; 03-25-2020 at 06:23 PM.
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Old 03-25-2020, 06:29 PM
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Hey, could a mod fix the obvious typo in the thread title?
Yes, those guys sound like some real asshills.
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Old 03-25-2020, 06:30 PM
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Another from New Jersey:

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/loca...virus/2342905/

A Twitter discussion of the Missouri man licking deodorant in Walmart (it's long):

https://twitter.com/BasedPoland/stat...99126406643713

These fuckheads are realizing that they are a microscopically small set of people who are not taking this seriously.

I was reviewing two of the cases present in the OP and came here to start a themed thread. I delightfully saw that someone had already done it.

Last edited by Harrington; 03-25-2020 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 03-25-2020, 07:22 PM
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Hey, could a mod fix the obvious typo in the thread title?
Yeah, you forgot to capitalize the "C" in "Corona."
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Old 03-25-2020, 07:33 PM
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Cody does not look happy in his mug shot.
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Old 03-25-2020, 08:35 PM
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This happened in early February.

https://wgntv.com/news/19-year-old-a...oliet-walmart/

I hope he gets the book thrown at him.
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Old 03-26-2020, 12:15 AM
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I hope they all get the book thrown at them, ESPECIALLY the one who deliberately coughed on an elderly man wearing a mask and gloves. Holy moly.

They should be punished by making them hand-dig graves for those that died of the disease.
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Old 03-26-2020, 02:56 AM
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There was one case (probably one of the links in the above posts, but I don't have them in front of me right now) of a guy who deliberately coughed all over the produce section. The store had to discard over $100 of coughed-on produce.

The guy was arrested, but the article didn't mention if he will have to pay for all that produce.
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Old 03-26-2020, 06:08 AM
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Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube?

This was going on before covid-19 and makes absolutely zero sense from the viewpoint of the lawbreakers. I suppose we should be grateful that they're willing to publicly post proof of their misdeeds but why?

And yes, they need to throw the book at these idiots who are licking produce etc. Examples need to be made. We cannot tolerate this kind of behavior right now.
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Old 03-26-2020, 06:28 AM
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Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube?
A large number of people are incredibly stupid.
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Old 03-26-2020, 07:16 AM
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Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube?
1. Make video
2. ?????
3. Profit!
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Old 03-26-2020, 10:00 AM
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This woman ruined $35,000 worth of groceries at a small chain grocery store

https://nypost.com/2020/03/25/woman-...twisted-prank/
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Old 03-26-2020, 10:02 AM
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This idiot licked an airplane toilet seat in her attempt to become famous

https://nypost.com/2020/03/16/woman-...rus-challenge/

Sorry for the multiple posts, had weird technical difficulties
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Old 03-26-2020, 10:51 AM
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A local company had to shut one of their buildings down for several days this week after an employee falsely claimed to have tested positive.

https://www2.ljworld.com/news/genera...-for-covid-19/
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Old 03-26-2020, 10:54 AM
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#1, coronavirus is NOT the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats, and #2, #2 IS the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats.

These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least.
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Old 03-26-2020, 01:18 PM
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This woman ruined $35,000 worth of groceries at a small chain grocery store

https://nypost.com/2020/03/25/woman-...twisted-prank/
The story implied that it's not the first time she's pulled stunts like this.
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Old 03-26-2020, 06:26 PM
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#1, coronavirus is NOT the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats, and #2, #2 IS the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats.
Some folks have strange tastes and I don't mean flavors. Still, lips and/or tongues that taste (or taste of) toilet seats shall never touch mine. If I want shit, I'll smoke it.

Quote:
These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least.
Back in the day, they'd be found hanging from lampposts and convenient trees. America has gone soft. Best we can do now is float them in cages a safe distance from shore.

Keep in mind that coughing on someone can be considered a terrorist act. Be selective.
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Old 03-26-2020, 09:27 PM
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#1, coronavirus is NOT the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats, and #2, #2 IS the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats.

These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least.
Once sterilized, she's can lick toilet seats to her heart's content. (May need to be re-sterilized after each.)

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Old 03-26-2020, 11:31 PM
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Hey, she can be shunned instead. But with social distancing right now, how will she know?
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Old 03-26-2020, 11:56 PM
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Old 03-27-2020, 12:32 AM
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Hopefully these morons will catch the virus when they're in prison, in close proximity with each other.
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Old 03-27-2020, 12:52 AM
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Hopefully these morons will catch the virus when they're in prison, in close proximity with each other.
They can always be volunteered to test risky therapies. Calling Doctor Benway!

Jails and prisons are viral petri dishes; some are already releasing less violent inmates. I guess that leaves more room for corona-fakers - if not in cells, then chained to flagpoles outside. Lick THAT, fool!
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Old 03-27-2020, 01:05 AM
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Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube?
It''s one of those stupid social media "challenges", apparently. Cough on someone and film it. They don't "win" unless they post it.

Hopefully what they "win" is jail time.
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Old 03-27-2020, 04:20 AM
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Who are these idiots? I'm so afraid to touch faces, my clocks are still on standard time!
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Old 03-27-2020, 08:13 AM
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Who are these idiots? I'm so afraid to touch faces, my clocks are still on standard time!
Ba da bing!
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Old 03-27-2020, 08:26 AM
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Wanna know what's worse? Coronavirus is often asymptomatic. So some of these idiots might actually have it, and just not know.
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Old 03-27-2020, 08:35 AM
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My spouse teaches at a university-level institution. Unsurprisingly, at least one student has called in with the "I can't come to class today - I've got coronavirus" excuse.

Also unsurprisingly, once told what sort of notifications, testing and paperwork would be involved if he genuinely believed himself to have the coronavirus, the illness was miraculously transmuted to "just a cold".
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Old 03-27-2020, 08:43 AM
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Remind me again why it's wrong to think that some people need killing.
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Last edited by QuickSilver; 03-27-2020 at 08:44 AM.
  #31  
Old 03-27-2020, 08:43 AM
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“Come to class”... I never thought these words would make me weep with nostalgia.
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Old 03-27-2020, 10:56 AM
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Why do people make videos of themselves committing crimes then post them on YouTube?

This was going on before covid-19 and makes absolutely zero sense from the viewpoint of the lawbreakers. I suppose we should be grateful that they're willing to publicly post proof of their misdeeds but why?

And yes, they need to throw the book at these idiots who are licking produce etc. Examples need to be made. We cannot tolerate this kind of behavior right now.
I'm willing to bet a fair number of them don't believe they're committing a crime. They believe they're not infected, and since they (in their minds) aren't putting anyone in actual danger, they can't possibly be arrested. They're too stupid and cocky to realize that there are tons of laws in the books against inciting panic, or that just because they feel fine doesn't mean they aren't infected, so they can get charged with actually putting people in danger.

I particularly loive the fuckwad who boasts about how he's tested and is super positive yo, but totally asymptomatic... Like, bro, people who ARE suffering symptoms have a hard enough time getting tested. You're unlikely to get tested at all unless you're in the hospital. I laughed when I read that he actually claimed to be asymptomatic, yet tested. I'm not saying it's impossible, but highly, HIGHLY unlikely. Lots of people may not realize that though, and it still doesn't make what he did any less dangerous or fucked up.

I hope every single one of these people is charged with the absolute max level, and made an example of. I don't really care if they think everyone is exaggerating - they have zero right to deliberately terrify people, OR put them at risk.
  #33  
Old 03-27-2020, 11:51 AM
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I particularly loive the fuckwad who boasts about how he's tested and is super positive yo, but totally asymptomatic... Like, bro, people who ARE suffering symptoms have a hard enough time getting tested. You're unlikely to get tested at all unless you're in the hospital. I laughed when I read that he actually claimed to be asymptomatic, yet tested. I'm not saying it's impossible, but highly, HIGHLY unlikely. Lots of people may not realize that though, and it still doesn't make what he did any less dangerous or fucked up.
I think he is the 31-year-old one who--in an apology post I can no longer find--said that they don't watch TV in his house and he only knew about the virus from social media and didn't realize it was serious, so could you please leave me and my family alone now.
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Old 03-27-2020, 12:04 PM
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I like that at least some of these people are facing terrorism charges. That is absolutely what this is. This is the equivalent of putting unexploded ordnance in a public place and then calling in a bomb scare. It doesn’t matter if they think they are making a harmless prank; they are potentially scaring people away from doing something essential like buying food, causing large amounts of property damage, and they may be inadvertently infecting food for real since the disease can be asymptomatic. (Hence the unexploded ordnance analogy, it may actually have the potential to blow up.)

If enough people serve hard time and this is made public, maybe it will dissuade other morons from repeating it. They are being terrorists whether they mean to or not.
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Old 03-27-2020, 12:05 PM
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#1, coronavirus is NOT the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats, and #2, #2 IS the reason you shouldn't lick toilet seats.

These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least.
I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can't think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that.
  #36  
Old 03-27-2020, 12:37 PM
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I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can't think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that.
Something tells me, licking toilet seats is probably not the worst thing she's done or likely to do in her life. Poor judgement is often a recurring personal issue.
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Old 03-27-2020, 02:47 PM
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I think he is the 31-year-old one who--in an apology post I can no longer find--said that they don't watch TV in his house and he only knew about the virus from social media and didn't realize it was serious, so could you please leave me and my family alone now.
Oh good Lord. I don't have TV either, but even I can be damned sure the pandemic is something to take very, very seriously. It's not like news about it is floating around EVERYWHERE online Hell, I'm getting emails about it from my car insurance, the dealership, a cruiseline we booked for 2021 and a dentist I haven't seen in 10+ years.

I really, really hate this guy and all his lame excuses.
  #38  
Old 03-27-2020, 02:58 PM
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Remind me again why it's wrong to think that some people need killing.

The virus is taking care of that for us now. The problem is it has really terrible aim.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZPG Zealot View Post
I realize there is a terrible pandemic; however, I can't think of a more appropriate punishment than just letting the toilet seat-licker spend the rest of her life with that as her moniker and leave it as that.

It worked wonders for Dog Poop Girl.
  #39  
Old 03-27-2020, 03:25 PM
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My spouse teaches at a university-level institution. Unsurprisingly, at least one student has called in with the "I can't come to class today - I've got coronavirus" excuse.

Also unsurprisingly, once told what sort of notifications, testing and paperwork would be involved if he genuinely believed himself to have the coronavirus, the illness was miraculously transmuted to "just a cold".
Our classes have been moved to On-line mode for over two weeks now, because my university considers it highly dangerous to get a bunch of students crammed together into a classroom.
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Old 03-27-2020, 03:32 PM
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Oh good Lord. I don't have TV either, but even I can be damned sure the pandemic is something to take very, very seriously. It's not like news about it is floating around EVERYWHERE online Hell, I'm getting emails about it from my car insurance, the dealership, a cruiseline we booked for 2021 and a dentist I haven't seen in 10+ years.

I really, really hate this guy and all his lame excuses.
Okay, I went digging for the apology site again and saw that it was a screenshot in the original story I linked (embarrassed emoji.) I OCRed that, here it is in text:
Quote:
704_bully_icon ďMESSAGEď To all of you who have seen, heard & reacted to my video over the weekend. I would like to apologize to you especially the elderly, the @albemarIepolicedepartment who responded to this incident, and all those who where scared. I want to say sorry, I am sincerely sorry I acted very foolishly, stupidly and during a uneasy time not only for our community but for the world. Everyone that knows me knows it wasn't serious, they know it wasnít meant to hurt or instill fear in anyone. Iíve never taken This virus seriously at all and we donít watch television at our home so our knowledge of the world doest reach farther then social media and for that I apologize, I been looking into this virus and I see now the world of hurt it is causing our communities especially italy right now. I know my travel history may have been what had a lot of you on edge and I and very remorseful and regret doing this it was poor judgement and just plain stupidity. Iíve yet to show any symptom I havenít in the slightest thought at any time I was actually sick. Like I said I cannot say it enough but I am sincerely sorry. Although I didnít know whether I was sick or not and even though I still am not sick I want to say I apologize for the amount of stress Iíve put on those involved all of those who have came into contact with me from the different police agencies and their officers, to my magistrate the the officers who booked me in, my bondsman and all the friends and family in between that have reached out to me and all of the employees, neighbors and those whoíve been on edge be of my actions, please understand I am truly sorry. Not only am I sorry to the community I've put this stress on but also to my family the amount of HATE messages and THREATENING messages they are receiving on my account is unbearable please understand that two wrongs do not make a right, I messed up not them. Iíve also seen celebrities such as @casanova_2x and @rudygobert27 act in a similar manner down to local teenagers in Virgina coughing on fruit, I want to expresss that this is not a trend this is not acceptable please I do not condone these actions please know I was wrong.
I'm betting this guy owns at least one red baseball cap.
  #41  
Old 03-28-2020, 10:52 AM
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Hey; look everyone! We've got one too!

OTIO yo
  #42  
Old 03-28-2020, 11:10 AM
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Okay, I went digging for the apology site again and saw that it was a screenshot in the original story I linked (embarrassed emoji.) I OCRed that, here it is in text:

I'm betting this guy owns at least one red baseball cap.
This must be the first apology on record from one of them. I suppose somebody will be coming around to collect the hat.
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  #43  
Old 03-28-2020, 11:18 AM
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These people should be publicly executed. Or sterilized, at the very least.
I was thinking we need to bring back the scarlet Aóbut for "Asshole."
  #44  
Old 03-28-2020, 11:26 AM
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I was thinking we need to bring back the scarlet Aóbut for "Asshole."
Plenty of them would like that and wear it as a badge of honor.
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Old 03-28-2020, 12:23 PM
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I was thinking we need to bring back the scarlet Aóbut for "Asshole."
A for íMuricA.
  #46  
Old 03-28-2020, 02:00 PM
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I was thinking we need to bring back the scarlet Aóbut for "Asshole."

Given how it's been inflicted on the country, owing to the incredible incompetence of one particular individual in government, scarlet is not the correct color for that letter. Orange is.
  #47  
Old 03-28-2020, 02:50 PM
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Hows about an orange starfish?
  #48  
Old 03-28-2020, 03:27 PM
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Yes, those guys sound like some real asshills.
Okay, totally stealing "asshills" for some of my running routes. Can think of several streets where it's unquestionably le mot juste.
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:11 PM
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Not wearing a scarlet A, but having it tattooed on them. Maybe middle of the forehead. That way they can't take it off.
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:13 PM
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Not wearing a scarlet A, but having it tattooed on them. Maybe middle of the forehead. That way they can't take it off.
The 31-year-old with the apology would barely notice--he already has tats on his neck.
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