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  #1101  
Old 09-04-2019, 09:07 AM
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Positive gun news of the day
Dealing with the death of an abusive parent.

  #1102  
Old 09-04-2019, 10:59 AM
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Are We Ready For First Contact?
Poll: What does 'just about' mean?


It means "no."
  #1103  
Old 09-04-2019, 11:58 AM
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Have you ever helped a "misguided" friend get on a career track?
Help me buy an inflatable yak


Best SDMB rhyming sequential thread titles ever.
  #1104  
Old 09-04-2019, 03:00 PM
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Embarrassing question- farting in a leather chair
Help me buy an inflatable yak


You'll need to make sure there's a really tight seal. And fer chrissake, cut back on the sugar-free gummy bears.
  #1105  
Old 09-04-2019, 03:21 PM
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Picky eating can make you go blind.
Help me make soy yogurt.


If you're having trouble reading the recipe, that should tell you something.
  #1106  
Old 09-05-2019, 07:37 AM
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Q about the Sudan.
Just prior to Germany invading Poland in 1939...


I think you mean "Sudetenland".
  #1107  
Old 09-05-2019, 08:23 AM
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Embarrassing question- farting in a leather chair
What percentage of people would choose to exterminate humanity?


Must've been one hell of a fart.*

*my dog produced an unimaginable methane cloud last night, after we fed him cheese bits so he'd let us clean his ears.
  #1108  
Old 09-05-2019, 09:09 AM
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Deerie me, what a sight
My grandmother died last night


Another great sequential thread rhyme.

Are you pro-choice because you are smart?
Positive abortion news of the day


Pro-choicers are smarter! I knew it!

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-05-2019 at 09:12 AM.
  #1109  
Old 09-05-2019, 06:29 PM
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Cattle Management?
Ladies withdrawing after dinner leaving gents to their port and cigars


Herding the ladies out of the drawing room often required the services of a skilled border collie.
  #1110  
Old 09-05-2019, 08:57 PM
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What are the dumbest questions you've been asked more than once?

Help me buy an inflatable yak
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Harry Bellerophonte
  #1111  
Old 09-06-2019, 08:04 AM
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If and when negative interests rates come to America, what do you plan to do?
Anyone been to the Philippines?
  #1112  
Old 09-06-2019, 09:08 AM
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What are the dumbest questions you've been asked more than once?
How much do you pay for bed sheets?
  #1113  
Old 09-06-2019, 12:26 PM
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Fridge defrosted and smells bad
What to do with lemon juice?

Well, obviously these two posters need to get together ... wait, they're by the same person? Problem solved!
  #1114  
Old 09-06-2019, 03:36 PM
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what does an Internal Auditor do?
Cattle Management?


Yes, but actually no.
  #1115  
Old 09-06-2019, 03:43 PM
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Trump and his "Cat License"

Cats. These amazing creatures. (Bragging allowed)




Trump doesn't have pets, but if he had cats, they'd be the BEST cats, no question. And they'd all have licenses, as required by law.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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  #1116  
Old 09-07-2019, 09:41 AM
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What are the dumbest questions you've been asked more than once?
Jobs for a Bachlors Degree


If you have to ask, how did you even get the degree?
  #1117  
Old 09-08-2019, 09:26 AM
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Rodents vs. Instant mashed potato flakes
Traveling with an electric wheelchair?


Geico's spokesman is a Limey lizard, Liberty features an emu, and now Cut-Rate Auto is using a rat who zooms around in a tiny electric wheelchair while munching mashed potato flakes. Where will it end??!?*

*Rumor has it that Farmers' new mascot will be a Komodo dragon who lumbers around eating the mascots of other auto insurance companies.
  #1118  
Old 09-08-2019, 09:50 AM
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My grandmother died last night
Cats. These amazing creatures. (Bragging allowed)


I had a domestic shorthair that took out two nephews and a brother-in-law during a recent family reunion. Remarkable critters, they are.
  #1119  
Old 09-08-2019, 03:32 PM
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Birds don’t pee except hummingbirds ?
Why can't I get my toilet bowl bolt caps to clip on?


Better get that tiny toilet bowl fixed pronto. You don't want hummingbirds pissing on your lawn.*

*And remember to leave the seat down.
  #1120  
Old 09-09-2019, 07:33 AM
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I haz silencer.

Trump and his "Cat License"
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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Last edited by CalMeacham; 09-09-2019 at 07:33 AM.
  #1121  
Old 09-09-2019, 08:14 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Helping a friend for money
Help me buy an inflatable yak


Do I get a finder's fee?
  #1122  
Old 09-09-2019, 10:56 AM
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What Architectural Style House is This?
British Slang


Style? It's a load of codswallop, if you ask me. The architect must've been right pissed when he designed it. I'm gobsmacked that you would even ask.
  #1123  
Old 09-09-2019, 05:15 PM
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Menopause causing emotional behavior
I haz silencer.


We have another nominee for Supportive Husband of the Year.

What's the purpose of hose in steam room?
Help with Athlete's Foot

Last edited by Jackmannii; 09-09-2019 at 05:16 PM.
  #1124  
Old 09-09-2019, 07:02 PM
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Trump and his "Cat License"
British Slang


That's British slang for be able to grab....
  #1125  
Old 09-10-2019, 08:15 AM
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What does Sex smell like?

Geometry and concrete blocks



Of course it does.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #1126  
Old 09-10-2019, 08:51 AM
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Poll: Atheists: Would you *prefer* that a god exist or not?

Repairs you haven't had done because you don't know who to have do them



What To Do Until Jesus Comes
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #1127  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:54 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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What are the dumbest questions you've been asked more than once?
So what was the biggest news on the morning of September 11, 2001 before everything changed?


So what was and who cares?
  #1128  
Old 09-10-2019, 12:10 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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Country songs written by non-country artists
Rescuing A Cast-Iron Sklliet


After I banged it off the top of your stupid head.
  #1129  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:09 PM
Ludovic is offline
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What's the etiquette of working at a coffee house?
Have you ever owned a strobe light?


It's polite to turn the strobe light on when you're working so people will know not to bother you.
  #1130  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:31 PM
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What does Sex smell like?
UK PM Resigning


Sheesh, I know you don't like Boris, but it couldn't be that great a release.
  #1131  
Old 09-10-2019, 09:21 PM
Johnny L.A. is online now
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Weird toys
I haz silencer.


Let's play Murder In The Dark!
  #1132  
Old 09-11-2019, 09:10 AM
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Help me buy an inflatable yak
Sexuality is False


Please don't yak about it.
  #1133  
Old 09-11-2019, 04:35 PM
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Menopause causing emotional behavior
Effexor shortage


Now there's an eharmony profile that's hard to resist.
  #1134  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:32 PM
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A couple screenwriting questions
Optimum geometry of roof solar panels ?
“Bathtub” gin. . . huh?


I suggest a bit more research before marketing the script to "Baby Face Nelson Battles Climate Change".
  #1135  
Old 09-12-2019, 07:38 AM
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Do we miss people or the times we had with them?
Anybody else miss staring at a shelf of CD's?


I miss the times I had with the CD's.

Last edited by Ludovic; 09-12-2019 at 07:39 AM.
  #1136  
Old 09-12-2019, 12:56 PM
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Thought experiment: What if you had a billion dollars?
What do you owe the Dope?
  #1137  
Old 09-12-2019, 06:09 PM
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What does Sex smell like?
“Bathtub” gin. . . huh?


Bathtubgirl gin, amirite?
  #1138  
Old 09-13-2019, 07:04 AM
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Separated by one:

K2-18b: First detection of water vapor in the atmosphere of an exoplanet in the habitable zone

Places you've been. .
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #1139  
Old 09-13-2019, 12:38 PM
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Eddie Money R.I.P.
What was the last tune you whistled or hummed?


That's cold, even if you didn't like his music.
  #1140  
Old 09-13-2019, 02:22 PM
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Tomorrow is Prehistoric Creatures Day again!
SCOTUS has ruled against citizenship question


It's just as well - all those pea-brained brontosauruses would vote Republican.
  #1141  
Old 09-13-2019, 10:22 PM
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Looks like there may be another interstellar object passing through the Solar System.
Meet Bob


Well, that's certainly easier to spell than ʻOumuamua.
  #1142  
Old 09-14-2019, 09:58 PM
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What to do instead of sucking a butt
Butt-hurt Trump Takes to Twitter Again

Last edited by susan; 09-14-2019 at 09:58 PM.
  #1143  
Old 09-14-2019, 11:39 PM
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Thought experiment: What if you had a billion dollars?
Plus's and minus's of taking a year off after high school


Oh, what the heck. Take two years off after high school!
  #1144  
Old 09-15-2019, 05:58 PM
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Organ donation is switching to opt-out in the UK
How to Get Vegan Blood
  #1145  
Old Yesterday, 08:20 AM
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Northerners who moved south.
What Are Your Favorite Purebred Breeds of Dogs?


I like Treeing Walker Coonhounds, but I can't find anyone to give mine a poodle clip.
  #1146  
Old Yesterday, 08:21 AM
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How does the blue tick in twitter work?
Peanut allergy


The tick wouldn't be blue if you didn't eat so many peanuts around it!
  #1147  
Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
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What makes a joke racist?
Asian Takeout Mustard: what is in?


Good thing you didn't use the word "yellow."
  #1148  
Old Yesterday, 02:53 PM
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Are dogs and other animals fooled by Impossible and Beyond Meat burgers?
How does the blue tick in twitter work?


It makes the Impossible burger submit paperwork to prove it's a real burger. It's the only animal that isn't fooled.
  #1149  
Old Yesterday, 04:22 PM
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What the women in your harem should wear this season
Denver - As Sexist as Ever


The city fathers are definitely getting out of hand.
  #1150  
Old Yesterday, 09:21 PM
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Organ donation is switching to opt-out in the UK
How to Get Vegan Blood

1. Declare vegan blood an organ
2. ???
3. Profit!
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