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  #51  
Old 09-10-2019, 03:11 PM
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Rented out as a coolie when the Central Pacific railroad was under construction. All of his pay went directly to Ben for "safekeeping."
Ben had to get him out of Nevada Territory, since he was the one who'd procured the mushrooms for him. Sadly, Hop Sing died of heat exhaustion as the CPRR was blasting through the Rocky Mountains.
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  #52  
Old 09-10-2019, 05:00 PM
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Doesn't it seem like Little Joe would have more of a motive to kill off Adam and Hoss?
At first glance, maybe. But remember, Ben had already buried two wives before Little Joe was even born.
  #53  
Old 09-11-2019, 11:18 AM
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It's been on TV a thousand times:


Hedy ('That's Hedley!) Lamarr, 'Blazing Saddles'.
  #54  
Old 09-11-2019, 11:20 AM
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At first glance, maybe. But remember, Ben had already buried two wives before Little Joe was even born.
And they were NOT happy about that, at all!
  #55  
Old 09-11-2019, 03:12 PM
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Wasn't she in Dark Shadows?
Yes. That means Adam ended up on the Maine coast at Collin Wood searching for his other family. Somehow, I don't think he and Barnabas would have hit it off.
  #56  
Old 09-11-2019, 07:19 PM
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When the Nevada authorities caught on to Little Joe, he went on the lam, changed his name, and headed for Minnesota.
Little Joe always was a bit shady. He never gave it away; everybody had to pay and pay. A hustle here and a hustle there....
  #57  
Old 09-11-2019, 07:44 PM
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"Doctor say, you going to die, Kemo Sabe."
And it was just one little snakebite....
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  #58  
Old 09-12-2019, 06:42 AM
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I once saw a really low grade semi porn movie where the Lone Ranger was bitten on the end of his cock by a rattle snake and Tonto refused to suck the poison out.

That made the Lone Ranger really mad.
  #59  
Old 09-12-2019, 08:33 AM
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Eidetic memory kicking in: Little Joe Cartwright's mother was Marie DeMarigny Collins. She had been married and widowed, having a son named Clay Collins who was taken by his paternal grandmother, who left Marie with nothing Marie ended up working as a prostitute in New Orleans, where Ben met her. She died from a fall off a horse.

Or so Ben told everybody.
  #60  
Old 09-12-2019, 09:05 AM
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On the Big Valley, the youngest son Eugene Barkley is studying medicine back east. He disappears after the first year and is never seen again.

All Victoria's sons were wimpy dicks.

The only Barkley son I liked was Heath, the father's bastard son.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-12-2019 at 09:06 AM.
  #61  
Old 09-12-2019, 09:16 AM
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Eidetic memory kicking in: Little Joe Cartwright's mother was Marie DeMarigny Collins. She had been married and widowed, having a son named Clay Collins who was taken by his paternal grandmother, who left Marie with nothing Marie ended up working as a prostitute in New Orleans, where Ben met her. She died from a fall off a horse.

Or so Ben told everybody.
Yes, when did Ben discover her sordid past?
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  #62  
Old 09-12-2019, 09:17 AM
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On the Big Valley, the youngest son Eugene Barkley is studying medicine back east. He disappears after the first year and is never seen again.

All Victoria's sons were wimpy dicks.

The only Barkley son I liked was Heath, the father's bastard son.
Please, "natural child". These are, after all, the Barkleys.
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  #63  
Old 09-12-2019, 09:57 AM
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All Victoria's sons were wimpy dicks.
Nicholas Jonathon, wimpy!?
  #64  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:03 AM
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Lucas McCain could be a bit of a dick. Oh he was usually on the right side of law and honor, but he sure seemed to enjoy meeting out his justice.

When I was a kid watching The Rifleman on TV, I looked at my dad once and said, “Isn’t Lucas a great guy?” He turned to me and said, “He kills someone almost every day.”


ETA: checking stats, it appears he killed 109 people during the run of the show.

Last edited by Lucas Jackson; 09-12-2019 at 10:06 AM.
  #65  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:07 AM
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All Victoria's sons were wimpy dicks.
Albert became Edward VII, King of Great Britain!
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  #66  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:25 AM
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Now that I think about it, President Grant on "The Wild Wild West" was a pill most of the time.
  #67  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:28 AM
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Yes, when did Ben discover her sordid past?
He met her while on a visit to New Orleans, where she was a "working girl." Maybe Ben killed his first two wives because they weren't so good in the sack and figured this one would be better. Didn't happen.

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Please, "natural child". These are, after all, the Barkleys.
On the first episode, when asked who he was, Heath (Lee Majors) just spits out "Your father's bastard son."
  #68  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:30 AM
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I once saw a really low grade semi porn movie where the Lone Ranger was bitten on the end of his cock by a rattle snake and Tonto refused to suck the poison out.

That made the Lone Ranger really mad.
Wouldn't you be?
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  #69  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:34 AM
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When I was a kid watching The Rifleman on TV, I looked at my dad once and said, “Isn’t Lucas a great guy?” He turned to me and said, “He kills someone almost every day.”
Yes, but he spent every evening at home, reading the Bible.
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  #70  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:39 AM
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On the first episode, when asked who he was, Heath (Lee Majors) just spits out "Your father's bastard son."
Whoa! Strong language in 1965 America! The TV censors let this one past?
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  #71  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:44 AM
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Yes, but he spent every evening at home, reading the Bible.
The killin' parts.
  #72  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:51 AM
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Yes, but he spent every evening at home, reading the Bible.
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The killin' parts.
You'd think reading the Bible would convince him to limit himself to kneecapping.
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  #73  
Old 09-12-2019, 10:55 AM
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Whoa! Strong language in 1965 America! The TV censors let this one past?
Well, he was referring to himself as the child born of unwed parents. A scandalous idea back them, but that's how the word was used.
  #74  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:04 AM
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On the first episode, when asked who he was, Heath (Lee Majors) just spits out "Your father's bastard son."
The Six Million Dollar Bastard?
  #75  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:15 AM
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The Fall Bastard?
  #76  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:55 AM
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Lucas McCain could be a bit of a dick. Oh he was usually on the right side of law and honor, but he sure seemed to enjoy meeting out his justice.
Nitpick: FYFR, the verb is "mete," not "meet."

Just sayin'.
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  #77  
Old 09-12-2019, 12:03 PM
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Too bad nobody turned Brokeback Mountain into a mini-series. That was a tale about a couple of dicks.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
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  #78  
Old 09-12-2019, 01:09 PM
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You'd think reading the Bible would convince him to limit himself to kneecapping.
McCain was a (insert your least favorite Christian denomination here.)
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  #79  
Old 09-12-2019, 02:02 PM
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McCain was a (insert your least favorite Christian denomination here.)
But he had a hell of a set shot.

Last edited by cochrane; 09-12-2019 at 02:04 PM.
  #80  
Old 09-12-2019, 02:40 PM
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I always hated McCains smug self-righteousness. I have a limited experience with the show, but it felt like every episode was so contrived to show how morally superior WASP culture is by way of Lucas's cowboy sermons.
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  #81  
Old 09-12-2019, 04:18 PM
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I always hated McCains smug self-righteousness. I have a limited experience with the show, but it felt like every episode was so contrived to show how morally superior WASP culture is by way of Lucas's cowboy sermons.
I'm curious. What other culture was there to compare it to? In the show, I mean. Other than low-down, under-handed, yellow-belly skunk?
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  #82  
Old 09-12-2019, 04:35 PM
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I'm curious. What other culture was there to compare it to? In the show, I mean. Other than low-down, under-handed, yellow-belly skunk?
City slickers from back East.

Men of the land, who honestly till the soil. You know, morons.
  #83  
Old 09-12-2019, 04:48 PM
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Lone Ranger: "Tonto, let's go check out the strip club."
Tonto: "What we find there, Kemo Sabe?"
Lone Ranger: "Titty-rump, titty-rump, titty-rump-rump-rump!"
  #84  
Old 09-12-2019, 05:32 PM
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The Fall Bastard?
Not the kind to kiss and tell!
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  #85  
Old 09-12-2019, 06:40 PM
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City slickers from back East.

Men of the land, who honestly till the soil. You know, morons.
Carpetbaggers! Lily-livered, cattle-rustlin', bushwhackin' varmints!
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  #86  
Old 09-13-2019, 08:36 AM
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I'm curious. What other culture was there to compare it to? In the show, I mean. Other than low-down, under-handed, yellow-belly skunk?
Your question sort of demonstrates the answer. 1950's middle-class white America was pretty blind to any other lifestyle or culture. You don't see any Catholicism in the Olde West. Or German or Jewish immigrants. Somehow, Mormons also get left out of the story of the settling of America. Or really, anyone who wasn't a WASP. But what annoys me about Lucas McCain in particular is how smugly he preaches to the audience via his boy about how 1950's WASP values are really the only correct ones.
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:27 AM
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Your question sort of demonstrates the answer. 1950's middle-class white America was pretty blind to any other lifestyle or culture. You don't see any Catholicism in the Olde West. Or German or Jewish immigrants. Somehow, Mormons also get left out of the story of the settling of America. Or really, anyone who wasn't a WASP. But what annoys me about Lucas McCain in particular is how smugly he preaches to the audience via his boy about how 1950's WASP values are really the only correct ones.
Paladin encounterd the same Jewish family in two episodes of Have Gun Will Travel. Ward Bond led a wagon train of Mormons in Wagon Master.
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  #88  
Old 09-13-2019, 10:13 AM
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A point of nomenclature here, no one in the Old West was a 'dick', they were known as being "an ornery cuss"
  #89  
Old 09-13-2019, 10:25 AM
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A point of nomenclature here, no one in the Old West was a 'dick', they were known as being "an ornery cuss"
Very little in TV Westerns is historically accurate from what I understand.
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Old 09-13-2019, 10:56 AM
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Your question sort of demonstrates the answer. 1950's middle-class white America was pretty blind to any other lifestyle or culture.
The exception being the “western” Kung Fu wherein most of the whites were dicks, Cain being “chinee” and all.
  #91  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:17 AM
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A point of nomenclature here, no one in the Old West was a 'dick', they were known as being "an ornery cuss"
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Very little in TV Westerns is historically accurate from what I understand.
On Deadwood they were all cocksuckers.
  #92  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:23 AM
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But what annoys me about Lucas McCain in particular is how smugly he preaches to the audience via his boy about how 1950's WASP values are really the only correct ones.
What an odd thing to obsess over.
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  #93  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:26 AM
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Paladin encounterd the same Jewish family in two episodes of Have Gun Will Travel. Ward Bond led a wagon train of Mormons in Wagon Master.
Didn't a lot of Westerns have stories with Catholic priests at like, you know, old missions in California and the Southwest?
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  #94  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:46 AM
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Didn't a lot of Westerns have stories with Catholic priests at like, you know, old missions in California and the Southwest?
Yes, you are right.
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  #95  
Old 09-13-2019, 02:15 PM
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Didn't a lot of Westerns have stories with Catholic priests at like, you know, old missions in California and the Southwest?
And, of course, the Hispanic populations that went with them.
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  #96  
Old 09-13-2019, 02:19 PM
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On Deadwood they were all cocksuckers.
... Again, figuratively speaking ... of course?
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  #97  
Old 09-13-2019, 02:59 PM
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But he had a hell of a set shot.
Excellent Rifleman star Chuck Conners' pro basketball experience reference! 2-points!
  #98  
Old 09-14-2019, 12:33 PM
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Excellent Rifleman star Chuck Conners' pro basketball experience reference! 2-points!
Baseball too!
Thus quoth Wiki:
“He is one of only 13 athletes in the history of American professional sports to have played both Major League Baseball (Chicago Cubs, 1951) and in the National Basketball Association (Boston Celtics 1947–48).”
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Old 09-14-2019, 02:18 PM
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He was the first pro basketball player to shatter a backboard. He took a set shot during practice and broke the glass. The backboard might have been improperly installed, too. Hence the set shot reference.
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Old 09-15-2019, 01:10 PM
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What an odd thing to obsess over.
Obsessing and being irritated over an actin are two very different things. And I wouldn't want a sermon when watching my westerns, either.

Last edited by Tzigone; 09-15-2019 at 01:12 PM.
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