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Old 09-09-2019, 08:57 AM
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Menopause causing emotional behavior


I'm thinking this is the right forum to ask this.
A male friend was saying his wife was going through menopause and flipped out the other day, including accusing him of cheating just because he went to the store to get bread.
Now, I started menopause 9 years ago, and my first symptom was forgetfulness, the second, hot flashes. I've never gotten "hormonal" or emotional, never even been PMSing.
Is this a thing where women do get hormonal during menopause? I'm thinking its not so prevalent as believed, and thought it was a bit stereotypical for him to say that.
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Old 09-09-2019, 09:42 AM
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I'm of the opinion that peri/post-menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes and forgetfulness etc. are irritating, and irritated people are inclined to show their irritation in ways typical for them in particular. Someone who's insecure will have said insecurities magnified when irritated.
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:16 AM
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Don't know how prevalent it is. In my vastly limited experience, it has been known to occur, to varying degrees. Best practice consists of liberal application of
  • Patience
  • Understanding
  • Chocolate
not necessarily in that order.

Regards,
Shodan

Last edited by Shodan; 09-09-2019 at 10:16 AM.
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by SuntanLotion View Post
I'm thinking this is the right forum to ask this.
A male friend was saying his wife was going through menopause and flipped out the other day, including accusing him of cheating just because he went to the store to get bread.
I'm thinking there are a lot bigger issues in that relationship than menopause.
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:03 AM
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I recently hit menopause, and before I went on estrogen, I was planning to talk to my doctor about going on Prozac. My primary symptom was that I felt emotionally fragile, and tended to flip out from stresses that I felt I ought to be able to roll with. I realized an hour after taking my first estrogen tablet that I'd been suffering from significant PMS for about a year.

So from my small sample-size, I'd say it's possible.

On the other hand, accusing your husband of cheating on you when he goes to the store isn't about PMS, that's about not trusting your husband. I cried when there was no milk for breakfast, and couldn't sleep for a week after an unpleasant experience with sedation I was given for an endoscopy. I didn't accuse my husband of cheating.
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Old 09-09-2019, 02:08 PM
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I agree that there's more going on. I was a little shorter-tempered, but about things like accidentally whacking my hand on the doorknob or losing my keys. Sounds like he might be trying to gaslight her?
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Old 09-09-2019, 03:02 PM
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Estrogen is wonderful. I've been taking it on and off for years. My gyno said not to do it on and off but I was only off a month or two. It improves your mood and I'm on the lowest dose.
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Old 09-09-2019, 03:53 PM
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Menopause makes me more irritable and labile in and of itself. I also have hot flashes etc. Mostly I'm just quicker to fantasize about punching everyone around me.
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:12 PM
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Menopause makes me more irritable and labile in and of itself. I also have hot flashes etc. Mostly I'm just quicker to fantasize about punching everyone around me.
Sounds like me.

I think I was touchier, for want of a better word during my periods (before) and menopause (after), but, like you said, less willing to suffer fools. My primary menstrual physical issue was migraines, and now that I'm through (I hope) menopause, I still get them occasionally, but I get fewer, less extreme ones. But major mood swings and paranoid ideation? Nah.
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:41 PM
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My BIL was ready to commit my Sister to a pysche ward. She had taken to throwing things at him. Cans of peas, the TV remote and one especially memorable open beer can.
He finally convinced her to see her gyno. Night and Day after the estrogen kicked in.
So, yes I think it can affect you emotionally. My Sister has always had a quick temper but acting so abusivally was unlike her.
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Old 09-09-2019, 06:54 PM
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I just became officially post-menopausal, thank You Freya!

Yeah, I was pissed off a lot during it, but I think I've always been pissed off, and I just could suppress it better when I was younger.

Most of my symptoms were physical. A joint would get so painful that I couldn't move that limb. I thought it was gout, but who gets gout in their shoulders? Then I read that fluctuating hormone levels can make your joints freeze up.

But paranoia? No.
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:29 PM
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I've still got some time before I go through menopause.

But even birth control pills don't spare me from hormonal fluctuations. I always know when my breakthrough bleeding (also known as "not-a-real-period-but-might-as-well-be") is about to arrive. I tend to get really anxious.

Like, I'll mentally ruminate over a joke I made in a staff meeting, wondering if it could be misconstrued the wrong way. Or I'll worry that there's no more food left in my cat's automatic feeder and that I'll come home to find him suffering from fatty liver disease.

Rarely are my fears totally irrational. But sometimes they knock on the door of paranoia. It was worse when I wasn't on birth control pills, though.

As much I hate having periods, I'm so not looking forward to menopause.
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:32 PM
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Estrogen saved my life, the lives of strangers, and our relationship.
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Old 09-10-2019, 01:38 AM
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Is this a thing where women do get hormonal during menopause?


Oh fuck yeah. I am (was) extremely even keeled emotionally-my husband and all previous bfs pointed that out ('wow you're so much less dramatic/emotional/mercurial/etc than previous gfs'). However, menopause sent me on a roller coaster ride emotionally. At the time, I felt that I was reacting rationally to all the annoying people in my presence. But in retrospect, I was psycho!!!

I am now on HRT (estrogen, estradial, progesterone, and testosterone) and am feeling 100% again.

And fyi, if your libido has suffered a setback, then testosterone is your BFF. I've never been hornier!
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Old 09-10-2019, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by susan View Post
Menopause makes me more irritable and labile in and of itself. I also have hot flashes etc. Mostly I'm just quicker to fantasize about punching everyone around me.
Hello sister.

Going from the following sleep pattern: go to bed, fall asleep, wake up at 5am, to the following ones: go to bed, turn and flip and flop and turn, fall asleep, wake up at oh-god am to pee, fall asleep until 5am OR go to bed, turn and flip and flop and turn, fall asleep, wake up at oh-god am to pee, be incapable of falling asleep again… well, yeah, I'd say that's had a negative effect on my moods!

But I don't suspect anybody of cheating that I didn't already suspect of cheating. That is a different problem.
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Old 09-10-2019, 07:17 AM
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Yeah, I had severely disrupted sleep patterns which definitely made me irritable (having to deal with multiple family deaths for a couple years didn't help either) but I wasn't going around accusing people of cheating, throwing things, or otherwise acting out of control.
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:16 AM
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Right. I'm just unpleasant to be with, but don't suspect anyone of finding a more pleasant companion.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susan View Post
Right. I'm just unpleasant to be with, but don't suspect anyone of finding a more pleasant companion.
:lol:

Oh yeah, I also woke up 1-4 times each night to pee. The estrogen fixed that, too. If that's your primary problem, there are ways to provide estrogen locally to those tissues, and not mess with your whole body: creams and vaginal rings.

I am really not looking forward to the day my doctor decides I'm too old to take supplemental estrogen.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:19 AM
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I've read some good books which state you Can keep taking it, no matter your age depending on: Your blood pressure being okay, no smoking at all, etc.
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Old 09-10-2019, 09:20 AM
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Estrogen saved my life, the lives of strangers, .
This sounds like an interesting tale...?
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Old 09-10-2019, 11:39 AM
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Yeah, after breast cancer I'm not putting exogenous hormones in my body anymore.

I do know a few people who became paranoid on estrogen suppressants, which have effects similar to menopause, though in an Acme-anvil-falling-on-your-head way rather than a gentle ebb of estrogen manner.
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Old 09-10-2019, 12:50 PM
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This sounds like an interesting tale...?
Too soon. (19 years...)

Suffice to say Kropotkinskaya was hit hard by menopause and resolved to hit back harder. Quote from this period: "There are no innocent bystanders."
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Old 09-10-2019, 03:25 PM
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I was more irritable all the time- I don't think it was directly due to the hormones, rather, it was the result of being sleep-deprived and uncomfortable. And while I wasn't going around throwing things or suspecting my husband of cheating on me, those were not my typical reactions when I was sleep-deprived or not feeling well pre-menopause. I just became my sleep-deprived, irritable self for weeks at a time rather than a day here and there , yelling for 20 minutes about things I wouldn't have even gotten annoyed about if I'd had a full night's sleep recently.
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