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Old 06-27-2019, 11:21 AM
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Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears


Also known as the "Working My Way Back to You Babe" Award. There is nothing redeeming about that song, and it makes me want to poke out my eardrums. Damn The Spinners for that piece of misogynistic crap.

Second in line is Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love."
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:37 AM
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Thanks for the opportunity to get these two off my chest.

Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
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Old 06-28-2019, 06:17 PM
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Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
Seconded.

And along similar lines, I'll add Whitney Houston's cover of "I Will Always Love You."
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:44 AM
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Also known as the "Working My Way Back to You Babe" Award. There is nothing redeeming about that song, and it makes me want to poke out my eardrums. Damn The Spinners for that piece of misogynistic crap.

Second in line is Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love."
First of all, "Working My Way Back To You" is by the Four Seasons (1966). The Spinners simply did a cover that, if I remember right, was packaged with "Forgive Me Girl". You may be remembering some of the conjoined lyrics.

Second of all, how in the world is the song mysogynistic???? It's about a man who is explaining how he was a complete jerk in his treatment of his girlfriend, and now wants to get her back by doing the right thing and being the sort of guy she'd want. If that's demonstrating hatred of women, I think we could use more such "hatred".

Third of all, I'm not sure why these songs make you want to put pencils in your ears. I will grant that "All Out Of Love" was extremely over-played at the time (it came during a particularly bad time of my life romantically, so I associate the song with the break-up). But it's not a horrible song by any means, just a bit on the sappy side. Songs that make me want to stick pencils in my ears are songs that have horrible lyrics, or have one of those nasty ear-worm tunes that you just know you're going to be singing in your mind for the next four days, despite not being all that much a fan of the song. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler is on the list for me, because after seeing the literal video parodying it, I cannot hear it without thinking about how stupid the video was. I'm sure others will come along with some good examples.

Fourth of all, you should get the names of the songs right.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:59 AM
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"You're Beautiful" and "Nine Million Bicycles in Beijing." Both of which were played ad nauseam on adult contemporary stations at around the same time. Yecccch!
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:01 PM
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The Spinners' version of "Working My Way" isn't my favorite song, but I'd take it over the Four Seasons' version any day of the week.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:05 PM
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"Dame Tu Cosita" by El Chombo. Apparently, this came out in the late 90s, but was resurrected by some minion of Satan last year. It only barely broke the Top 40 in the US, but it hit #1 on the Latin charts. Drives me up a wall, and I have two kids, ages 5 and 3, who love it.

Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:36 PM
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<snip>

Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.
DING. DING. DING.

Winner winner, lame ass dinner! The "some reason" is the shitty, lackluster "melody", the inane lyrics and the soulless singer's grating, unhip, moronic voice. GRRRRRRRR.

Phew! I feel so much better now

How about that whingy pap Kelly Clarkson put out: Because of You. Because of it I have to remove myself when I hear it played lest I become a danger to myself and others.
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:53 PM
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DING. DING. DING.

Winner winner, lame ass dinner! The "some reason" is the shitty, lackluster "melody", the inane lyrics and the soulless singer's grating, unhip, moronic voice. GRRRRRRRR.

Phew! I feel so much better now
I actually was called a few years ago as a referral to photograph a house party here in the Chicago suburbs. I gave my standard (competitive) rate, and the person hosting the party tried to get me to lower my rate because the singer of the Plain White T's would be performing there. I was this tempted to quote an even higher rate. Needless to say, I did not do that job.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:45 PM
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"Dame Tu Cosita" by El Chombo. Apparently, this came out in the late 90s, but was resurrected by some minion of Satan last year. It only barely broke the Top 40 in the US, but it hit #1 on the Latin charts. Drives me up a wall, and I have two kids, ages 5 and 3, who love it.
Here, this will clear that earworm.

I feel like a kid hipster because I've been hating Baby Shark for like 2 solid years before it became a meme and everybody learned about it.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:58 PM
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I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.
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Old 06-28-2019, 10:06 AM
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I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.
"Emotion" I believe.
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Old 06-29-2019, 04:01 AM
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I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.
That's probably "Dreamlover". Of her entire repertoire, I like maybe two of Mariah's songs, and that's one of them.

Last edited by LLCoolL; 06-29-2019 at 04:01 AM.
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Old 06-27-2019, 07:07 PM
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Here, this will clear that earworm.

I feel like a kid hipster because I've been hating Baby Shark for like 2 solid years before it became a meme and everybody learned about it.
Haha. I have to somewhat admire the song for the sheer ridiculousness and chutzpah.
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Old 06-27-2019, 06:40 PM
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"
Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.
Yass. This one.
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Old 06-27-2019, 09:28 PM
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"Dame Tu Cosita" by El Chombo. Apparently, this came out in the late 90s, but was resurrected by some minion of Satan last year. It only barely broke the Top 40 in the US, but it hit #1 on the Latin charts. Drives me up a wall, and I have two kids, ages 5 and 3, who love it.

Also, "Hey There Deliliah" by the Plain White T's makes me uncharacteristically stabby for some reason. Luckily, the popularity of that one has waned quite a bit.
Yes! I still hear “Hey there Delilah” at least once a week still and can’t change the station fast enough before it gets stuck in my head and I want to drive my car into on coming traffic.
Also that “I chime in with a haven’t you people ever heard of, closing the goddamn door” song. It irks me.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:08 PM
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Anything by Imagine Dragons. I HATE this 'band'. They make me Imagine Silence. I wish they would Imagine Talent.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:12 PM
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"Cherish" by The Association.

Anything by David Lee Roth where he makes that stupid screamy sound of his. Actually, I want to stick pencils in his ears when I hear this sound.

"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:24 PM
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"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.
That was Paul Anka.

Mac Davis' big one was "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me."
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:08 PM
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"You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone.

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"Havin' My Baby" by Mac Davis.
I have it on good authority from Dr. Johnny Fever that this song was done by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:43 PM
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I don't know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass.
Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?

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...Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille ...
The scary thing is that their version is the up-beat remake of America's tune -- it's even on their Greatest Hits album. The original practically sounds like a dirge!


I'll nominate Anything by Nirvana and quote my guitar teacher who answered a fellow student, "What's wrong with them? Seriously? Aside from the fact that they don't understand chord structure, play the wrong chord shapes just because they think it's cool, and can't carry a tune atop their background noise, the stuff they sing about is depressing as hell -- it's like they want to commit suicide and have the audience join in for a major bloodbath!"

Weeks later, Cobain was dead...


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Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You
That was the song behind the credits on Costner's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. It summed up the [end of the] movie quite well. Adams was hot in Hollywood around that time. The one that eclipsed this one was A Night In Heaven which also played at the theater where I worked. It's a rather sick movie and I had to hear that song three times a night for several weeks.

--G!

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Old 06-28-2019, 06:55 AM
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Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?
I also love Olivia, but I must tell you that "Loving You" was not her song. That was Minnie Riperton.
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Old 06-28-2019, 10:00 AM
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Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?
Fine, you made me look it up. It is Emotion. A perfectly mindless pop song until about 2:45 into it, she decides to show the world her upper range for no reason. I have to turn the radio off when I realize it is coming.
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Old 06-28-2019, 10:20 PM
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Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?
Wasn't that Minnie Riperton?
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Old 06-28-2019, 10:46 PM
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Are you talking about ...well...90% of her catalogue because that's just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let's show the world I'm (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her "Loving You" and butcher the signature aria?
Sure you mean "If Not for You" instead of "Loving You"*?

*To be honest, I have no idea which one she butchered.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:14 PM
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Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

It might not be a "pencils in ears" song, but it definitely a "gopher" song. I gopher the knob as soon as it comes on. Fortunately, the need to do that has virtually gone to zero thanks to iTunes.
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Old 06-28-2019, 11:10 AM
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Paradise by the Dashboard Light.

It might not be a "pencils in ears" song, but it definitely a "gopher" song. I gopher the knob as soon as it comes on. Fortunately, the need to do that has virtually gone to zero thanks to iTunes.
Yeah, it's pretty revolting to hear today, though I never liked it back in the 70s either. Mawkish beyond belief.

It's also been my observation that those people who love this song ( still today ) tend to be immature airheads.

Runner up would be 'Run Joey Run'.

Last edited by BrickBat; 06-28-2019 at 11:11 AM. Reason: punctuation
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Old 06-29-2019, 12:42 AM
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It's also been my observation that those people who love this song ( still today ) tend to be immature airheads.
Paradise by the Dashboard Lights is just a goofy, fun, shaggy dog story of a song. I like watching people's reaction to "and now I'm praying for the end of time" when it's the first time they hear it.

Now, for songs I still hear and truly despise, I submit Free Bird, Turn the Page, Like a Rock, and Roundabout. I liked Free Bird and Roundabout the first few times I heard them, but not so with the Seger songs.
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Old 06-29-2019, 03:17 PM
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Paradise by the Dashboard Lights is just a goofy, fun, shaggy dog story of a song.
That's how I feel about it too.
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Now, for songs I still hear and truly despise, I submit Free Bird, Turn the Page, Like a Rock, and Roundabout. I liked Free Bird and Roundabout the first few times I heard them, but not so with the Seger songs.
"Turn the Page," yes:

Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
other times you can
All the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"


The real problem with this song is that that 'same old cliche' hasn't been a cliche for decades.

So I propose a category: Songs from 'The Sixties'* Which Take Themselves Way Too Seriously, But Seem Stupid Now That The Sixties Are Long Gone.

"Turn the Page" is an example, but I'm really thinking of songs like Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" or Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction."

I was still hearing these songs on the radio until I stopped listening to 'Classic Rock' stations four or five years ago.

There may be an argument that they're once again relevant in the Age of Trump, but nah, they don't fit. Let someone write new songs to capture the madness of this particular era.


*'The Sixties' as a cultural mood really extended into the early 1970s. People used to debate when they really ended. it's not important.
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Old 06-29-2019, 03:29 PM
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it definitely a "gopher" song. I gopher the knob as soon as it comes on.
Of course, the original 'gopher' song was Hall & Oates' "I Can't Gopher That (No Can Do)."

Bad pun aside, if I was still listening to classic rock station, I'd gopher the button the moment that one came on.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:22 PM
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Being the sick individual I am, I actually like some of these songs. and no one's mentioned the ones I really hate. Like Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun, which sounds as if he recorded it, made it into a vinyl record, drilled a new hole for the spindle off-center, then re-recorded it from the lopsided disc.


And that's only the style, not considering the lyrics.


Or Bill Withers' Ain't no Sunshine, in which he repeats the word "I know" 26 times in a row, which makes me want to scream "Hit Bill Withers - he's stuck!"

(Acording to the Wikipedia entry, he wanted to write more lyrics instead of repeating all those "I know"s, but pro musicians talked him out of it. They should be hunted down and killed.)



If you want really bad songs, check out these books:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_B...k_of_Bad_Songs

https://www.amazon.com/Dave-Barrys-B...gateway&sr=8-1
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:28 PM
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There are really too many to mention but I'll add Love Will Keep Us Together and Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille twofer, and Feelings by Morris Albert.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:38 PM
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There are really too many to mention but I'll add Love Will Keep Us Together and Muskrat Love, the Captain and Tennille twofer, and Feelings by Morris Albert.
Oh, please! "Muskrat Love" is awesome! You have to just get all smiles when you hear the muskrats giggling.
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:37 PM
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Oh, please! "Muskrat Love" is awesome! You have to just get all smiles when you hear the muskrats giggling.
I prefer "Hamster Love," myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VomUk3m4Pf8
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:28 PM
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I forgot to include the other book

https://www.amazon.com/Worst-Rock-Ro.../dp/0806512318
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:32 PM
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Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:33 PM
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Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.
I actually love that song! Perfect piece of bubblegum pop.
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Old 06-27-2019, 03:44 PM
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[QUOTE=pulykamell;21721031]I actually love that song!. <snip>/QUOTE]

Of course you do.

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Old 06-27-2019, 02:06 PM
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Can't believe The Archies' 'Sugar Sugar' hasn't yet been mentioned.
The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.
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Old 06-27-2019, 04:39 PM
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Re: Sugar, sugar, by The Archies

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The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.
This cannot pass uncorrected. May I refer you to Post #15, where our colleague pulykamell noted:

Quote:
Perfect piece of bubblegum pop.
Exactly.

j
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:39 PM
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Here's an interesting list.

I'm happy to say that I haven't heard the majority of the songs on the list. And I should probably keep it that way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o...ered_the_worst
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:55 PM
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About 33 years ago, when I was in my teens, I realized that my life would be greatly improved if I never heard "Free Bird" ever again. And that very day, I made a rule that I would go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent being exposed to it. As a result, I've only had to suffer it about once per decade since then.


I admit, "Free Bird" is not the very worst song in the world. The worst is obviously "Muskrat Love", DSYoung!
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Old 07-01-2019, 11:38 AM
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Yes, indeed.


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About 33 years ago, when I was in my teens, I realized that my life would be greatly improved if I never heard "Free Bird" ever again. And that very day, I made a rule that I would go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent being exposed to it. As a result, I've only had to suffer it about once per decade since then.


I admit, "Free Bird" is not the very worst song in the world. The worst is obviously "Muskrat Love", DSYoung!
And 'Turn the Page'. Life is too short.
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:37 PM
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Anything by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap - too skeevy for words.

And easily half of the songs listed already - some I'm not familiar with and there are a couple I actually like. No accounting for tastes, huh?
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:51 PM
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I've long had a personal "Bob Seger rule" when in my car; Turn The Page is particularly loathsome.
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:52 PM
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The latest? "Old Town Road" - Lil Naz X (ft. Billy Ray Cyrus)

Any of the karaoke standards for people who think they can sing...

"Respect" - Aretha Franklin
"I will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor
"It's a Man's Man's Man's World" - Tom Jones
"Piece of my Heart" - Janis Joplin

Don't get me wrong, they were great songs but you can put money on someone singing it on American Idol or at a karaoke bar. They're so cliche.

Last edited by Sparky812; 06-27-2019 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:03 PM
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That live song from Peter Frampton where he makes his guitar "talk" at the end. I hate that song. And it's so long! The second it comes on I'll switch as fast as possible over to the sports station. So then I'll listen to, say, a baseball game for a few innings and then switch back over to the Classic Rock station--and that damn song is still on!

I like Elton John. Some good songs. But I hate Benny and the Jets almost as much as I hate the Frampton thing. And that's saying a lot.
  #48  
Old 06-27-2019, 02:18 PM
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I really don't mean to hijack, but I have to mention something about "Sugar, Sugar."

My wife and I just attended a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour. (They do one every year, with a variety of old acts.) Mark Volman was performing as part of the last act, but his partner was definitely not Howard "Howie" Kaylan. This other guy did a great job, even if I had no idea who he was. Mark finally introduced him...it was Ron Dante! You probably have to be from that era to understand who Dante is, but the main thing he is remembered for is being The Archies.

TL;DR: We got to hear The Archies sing "Sugar, Sugar" two weeks ago.
  #49  
Old 06-27-2019, 02:36 PM
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The Lumineers - Ho Hey

I guess they're shouting "Hey" or something during this song but it sounds to me like somebody sneezing and coughing at the same time.

So it's like sitting in a room with somebody doing that about 50 times while some other guy plays a boring ballad.

Last edited by BubbaDog; 06-27-2019 at 02:37 PM.
  #50  
Old 06-27-2019, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by campp View Post
The very first song I actively hated. I felt bad about not liking it. But, it sucked! As it turned out, I was right all those years ago.
Yes, you were!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZonexandScout View Post
I really don't mean to hijack, but I have to mention something about "Sugar, Sugar."

My wife and I just attended a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour. (They do one every year, with a variety of old acts.) Mark Volman was performing as part of the last act, but his partner was definitely not Howard "Howie" Kaylan. This other guy did a great job, even if I had no idea who he was. Mark finally introduced him...it was Ron Dante! You probably have to be from that era to understand who Dante is, but the main thing he is remembered for is being The Archies.

TL;DR: We got to hear The Archies sing "Sugar, Sugar" two weeks ago.
I would have loved to attend a performance of The Turtles' "Happy Together" tour! But the instant I heard that idiotic "Sugar Sugar" opening, I'd have fled the room, screaming with my fingers in my ears. Ugh!
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