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  #51  
Old 06-15-2019, 03:24 AM
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No anchovies, please
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  #52  
Old 06-15-2019, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Can I get a Diet Mountain Dew?

Why the fuck would you want THAT? Im bringing you a cup of coffee.
Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops "F" bombs like a longshoreman. "Could you cut my spaghetti up?" "You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?" The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.

It's like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff's attempts to mollify customers, it's a blast.
  #53  
Old 06-15-2019, 09:34 AM
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^ kayaker, you've probably seen this, I'm just posting it here so the SDMB native Chicagoans will drop by to comment and this thread will go to 1700 pages.
  #54  
Old 06-15-2019, 01:51 PM
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My ex bf used to say , I will do the cheeseburger. That always sounded weird to me and slightly sexual.
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  #55  
Old 06-15-2019, 05:29 PM
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Ever tell him "keep fucking that chicken!"?
  #56  
Old 06-15-2019, 08:54 PM
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"I'll have a cheeseburger and fries. Thank you!" or "I'd like a cheeseburger and fries. Thank you!"

Mama taught me manners!
  #57  
Old 06-15-2019, 10:05 PM
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My ex bf used to say , I will do the cheeseburger. That always sounded weird to me and slightly sexual.
"I'd hit it."
  #58  
Old 06-15-2019, 10:38 PM
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When I can't make up my mind, I always say, "I'll have what she's having."
  #59  
Old 06-15-2019, 11:01 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
^ kayaker, you've probably seen this, I'm just posting it here so the SDMB native Chicagoans will drop by to comment and this thread will go to 1700 pages.
Never seen that, but I'm actually a little surprised it's still around. I could have sworn they closed down a few years ago. (Actually, it does look like they closed down, but their website says something about a new location coming soon.) But, yeah, that's their schtick. Elsewhere, you can get that attitude for realz.
  #60  
Old 06-16-2019, 07:12 AM
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Never seen that, but I'm actually a little surprised it's still around. I could have sworn they closed down a few years ago. (Actually, it does look like they closed down, but their website says something about a new location coming soon.) But, yeah, that's their schtick. Elsewhere, you can get that attitude for realz.
Dick's Last Resort is another restaurant in that style. I've served one restaurant's entire serving staff after a shift ended, and it was absolutely hilarious. Moonlighting in fine dining, I would get the wonderful experience of constantly gritting "Thank you Master, may I please have another?" through my teeth.

But yeah, people that go to restaurants famous for asshole servers and then complain about their treatment are a special kind of snowflake. It's like asking for carnitas at an Italian joint. Don't be that guest...
  #61  
Old 06-16-2019, 05:24 PM
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Sorry, I disagree. If I'm asking, it's because there's some doubt in my mind about whether I can get what I'm asking for, not because there's any doubt about whether I may have it.
A restaurant is never obliged to to serve you. They very easily could say "no" so asking is always the way to go (and politely too.....what sort of person doesn't use please and thank you in these sort of interactions?)
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  #62  
Old 06-17-2019, 02:27 PM
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Go get me 300, no make it 500 hamberders and tell the press I paid for them out of my pocket with my own money and that there were 1.000 hamberders in total!
  #63  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops "F" bombs like a longshoreman. "Could you cut my spaghetti up?" "You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?" The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.

It's like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff's attempts to mollify customers, it's a blast.
Okay, someone needs to put that scene in a movie somewhere, sometime.
  #64  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:07 PM
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Gouda?
Its the besta!
  #65  
Old 06-17-2019, 03:08 PM
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"I will gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today."
Stop being such a wimp.
  #66  
Old 06-17-2019, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
Heh. I patronize an Italian restaurant owned/operated by an older Italian woman who people either love or despise. She drops "F" bombs like a longshoreman. "Could you cut my spaghetti up?" "You want I should wipe your shitty ass too?" The woman asking walked out, with her husband apologizing, paying for their drinks, then following her out.

It's like dinner theater. We watch the waitstaff's attempts to mollify customers, it's a blast.
Oh, god...back in 1981, my friend Ed and my girlfriend and I were 20 and living in a sublet on the west side of midtown Manhattan...Ed and I were unemployed and smoking a lot of dope, and generating bizarre start-up ideas.

One of these was a restaurant to be called Abraxas of the Bronx.. “Abraxas” was the most abrasive word we could think of.

The restaurant would be located in the worst part of the South Bronx, and have valet parking who would needlessly ding your car; abusive waiters; sour wines; soiled china and silverware; bad food; and cockroaches.

We figured that with the right kind of publicity campaign, we could get the cream of hip young New Yorkers to flock to it and fight to get in.
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Last edited by Ukulele Ike; 06-17-2019 at 08:35 PM.
  #67  
Old 06-17-2019, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Andy Kaufman used to say (in a Latka voice): I am so hungry, I could eat a horse--please pass the salt.
Ya know, horse isn't so bad. We really have to get over some prejudices...
  #68  
Old 06-17-2019, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Oh, god...back in 1981, my friend Ed and my girlfriend and I were 20 and living in a sublet on the west side of midtown Manhattan...Ed and I were unemployed and smoking a lot of dope, and generating bizarre start-up ideas.

One of these was a restaurant to be called Abraxas of the Bronx.. “Abraxas” was the most abrasive word we could think of.

The restaurant would be located in the worst part of the South Bronx, and have valet parking who would needlessly ding your car; abusive waiters; sour wines; soiled china and silverware; bad food; and cockroaches.

We figured that with the right kind of publicity campaign, we could get the cream of hip young New Yorkers to flock to it and fight to get in.

I would have gone...

Back in '81, my girlfriend and I and a couple of friends were living in a sublet in the East Village (well, OK, it was a squat). Your proposed place would have been right up our alley. An improvement over eating at home (since we had no silverware, you couldn't possibly have had more cockroaches than we did, and, as bad as your food might have been, it would have been better than ours). Except we didn't have a car...

Last edited by Saintly Loser; 06-17-2019 at 08:46 PM.
  #69  
Old 06-18-2019, 01:12 AM
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Originally Posted by mixdenny View Post
"I will have a cheeseburger and fries". Period.

Dennis
Cheeseburger and fries, sure. But Period's off. Wrong time of the month for that.
  #70  
Old 06-19-2019, 05:08 PM
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^ Well, could I have a Spam instead of...

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  #71  
Old 06-19-2019, 11:25 PM
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Can means "able," may is "asking permission."

So you could use both, "Can I have..." or "May I have..." depending on the situation.
  #72  
Old 06-20-2019, 08:43 AM
pulykamell is online now
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Originally Posted by Carryon View Post
Can means "able," may is "asking permission."

So you could use both, "Can I have..." or "May I have..." depending on the situation.
"Can" is fine as a word meaning to seek permission. See Merriam-Webster's note.

Quote:
It didn’t take too long for teachers and grammarians of the day to proscribe that can should only be used of ability and may of permission. We find the rule spelled out clearly (complete with a fictional student-teacher exchange) in Charles Lurie’s 1926 How To Say It: Helpful Hints On English. There is no particular reason for the rule, except for the fact that may has been used longer to mean “to give permission” than can has. Nonetheless, the “rule” lives on.

In reality, can likely has more use in the “permission” sense than is recorded, as it is more informal and so shows up in speech more frequently than may does. May is the more formal word, and if you are at all concerned about being tut-tutted, a safe choice. Can is now the verb of choice for ability, and both can and may are still used in the "possibility" sense. You may use can if you wish, and you can use may if it makes you feel better.
For me, the only difference is that "may" sounds a bit more genteel, possibly because of this "rule" being handed down by school teachers over time but, otherwise, perfectly fine. I would only use the word "may" in asking for something if I'm self-consciously choosing to speak in a more refined register (IOW, around people who might 'tut-tut" the usage.) Otherwise, it's "can" 95% of the time.

Last edited by pulykamell; 06-20-2019 at 08:44 AM.
  #73  
Old 06-20-2019, 11:52 AM
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Does anybody else here "go with" stuff?

I often phrase my orders as "I'll go with a cheeseburger and fries." Now that I've typed it out, it sounds as if I'm announcing that I've reached the end of a very thoughtful and complex deliberation process, and the server must be on the veritable edge of his or her proverbial seat in anticipation of my decision.

Maybe I'm just a self-important jerk.
  #74  
Old 06-21-2019, 12:28 AM
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Damn, I'm feeling straight up gangster right now. I say "I'll take the" quite often.
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