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Old 09-07-2019, 08:51 PM
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TV Western characters who were dicks.


Paladin, Have Gun Will Travel. Hired at exorbitant rates to solve problems, he solved them to his own opinion, not that if the guy who hired him.

Gil Favor, Rawhide. Worse than a dick, he would become an asshole at the drop of a hat. Withholding information from his employees, and insisting they work harder without explanation, like a bank failure that would make their cattle worthless after some time.

What other cowboys were dicks?
  #2  
Old 09-08-2019, 10:46 AM
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Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.
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Old 09-08-2019, 12:58 PM
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Yul Brynner in Westworld?
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Old 09-08-2019, 01:02 PM
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The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...
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Old 09-08-2019, 02:03 PM
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Walt Longmire has very dickish moments in "Longmire."

You didn't say they had to be from the Wild West era.
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Old 09-08-2019, 02:20 PM
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The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...
"You go to hell, Lone Ranger!"
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Old 09-08-2019, 02:28 PM
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Cap'n Call in Lonesome Dove was a serious asshole.
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Old 09-08-2019, 03:29 PM
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"You go to hell, Lone Ranger!"
"Doctor say, you going to die, Kemo Sabe."
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Old 09-08-2019, 03:32 PM
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nm

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Old 09-08-2019, 03:39 PM
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Nick Barkley is cast as a typical wealthy rancher that was capable of taking advantage of smaller neighbors. This type of character appears in many 1950's movies like Shane.

Fortunately Nick's impulsive hotheaded nature is balanced by brothers Heath and Jarrod and his mother.

Last edited by aceplace57; 09-08-2019 at 03:41 PM.
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:18 PM
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Cap'n Call in Lonesome Dove was a serious asshole.
Really? I didn't watch the miniseries, but understanding Call required getting inside his head, which a TV miniseries couldn't do. (It also helps to read the other books in the series, particularly Dead Man's Walk, which covers Call's and McCrae's youth.) In Call, McMurtry takes the archetype of the cool and laconic cowboy and turns it inside out. His silence isn't a strength. Call is a man hamstrung by his inability to understand emotions in himself or other people, and his silence isn't a strength, as it's often portrayed in westerns. He suffers for it. He's actually a tragic character.
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:33 PM
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I Rustler’s Rhapsody Patrick Wayne’s character Bob Barber is supposed to be a good guy but he was actually a lawyer.

Last edited by Loach; 09-08-2019 at 06:34 PM.
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:36 PM
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I Rustler’s Rhapsody Patrick Wayne’s character Bob Barber is supposed to be a good guy but he was actually a lawyer.
Oops sorry you said tv.
  #14  
Old 09-08-2019, 07:42 PM
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Really? I didn't watch the miniseries, but understanding Call required getting inside his head, which a TV miniseries couldn't do. (It also helps to read the other books in the series, particularly Dead Man's Walk, which covers Call's and McCrae's youth.) In Call, McMurtry takes the archetype of the cool and laconic cowboy and turns it inside out. His silence isn't a strength. Call is a man hamstrung by his inability to understand emotions in himself or other people, and his silence isn't a strength, as it's often portrayed in westerns. He suffers for it. He's actually a tragic character.
I read the books. He's tragic, for sure. He takes way too long to acknowledge his son.
I get his need to be a strong leader but hanging his friend is really a dick move. But, maybe that's just me.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 09-08-2019 at 07:43 PM.
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:10 PM
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Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:21 PM
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The Lone Ranger was always sending Tonto into town, even though he knew they were going to beat him up...
"Tonto have better idea. Tonto stay here, set up camp. Kemo Sabe go into town, buy supplies."
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:24 PM
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Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.
The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."
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  #18  
Old 09-08-2019, 08:30 PM
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Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.
He was once kicked by a mare when she found out who he was. Turned out she'd lost a colt at Bitter Creek.

He also could have just grown a beard to hide his identity, but he didn't want to cover his rugged dimpled chin.
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:33 PM
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are surrounded by a marauding band of Indians:

"Well, Tonto, this is it. Looks like we die together."

"Ugnnn, what you mean 'we,' white man?"
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:36 PM
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The Lone Ranger makes an unpleasant discovery
  #21  
Old 09-08-2019, 08:57 PM
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Ben Cartwright must have terrorized everyone in Nevada Territory. Adam, and later Hoss, simply disappeared and no one, not even Little Joe, ever questioned it.
Adam went to college in England-the actor was pissed off that the TV show made no political comment. Dan Blocker died of a heart attack. There was a Father Son conversation with Ben and Little Joe on the shore of Lake Tahoe. "I guess that big heart finally gave out."
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:59 PM
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He was once kicked by a mare when she found out who he was. Turned out she'd lost a colt at Bitter Creek.

He also could have just grown a beard to hide his identity, but he didn't want to cover his rugged dimpled chin.
He carried around that damn broken sword!
"Why the hell are you carrying around a broken sword?"
"I was dishonorably discharged from the US Army."
"Well, fuck you!"
  #23  
Old 09-08-2019, 09:02 PM
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The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."
Outstanding, Sir!
Out fucking standing!

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Old 09-08-2019, 09:14 PM
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He carried around that damn broken sword!
"Why the hell are you carrying around a broken sword?"
"I was dishonorably discharged from the US Army."
"Well, fuck you!"
Oh, what a giveaway!
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Old 09-08-2019, 10:07 PM
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Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.
Because there wouldn't be a TV show if he did. Hmmm, I sense a fundamental problem with the series premise.

Same question (and answer) applies to what the Boy Named Sue didn't just change his name. Aside from a bad name, his daddy left him with a shortage of brains, too.

Last edited by Just Asking Questions; 09-08-2019 at 10:08 PM.
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Old 09-08-2019, 10:33 PM
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are surrounded by a marauding band of Indians:

"Well, Tonto, this is it. Looks like we die together."

"Ugnnn, what you mean 'we,' white man?"
1989 Weetabix advert.
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Old 09-09-2019, 12:15 AM
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Probably more than half the characters on Deadwood were dicks, and even most of the "good guys" could be pretty unpleasant.
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Old 09-09-2019, 12:32 AM
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I read the books. He's tragic, for sure. He takes way too long to acknowledge his son.
I get his need to be a strong leader but hanging his friend is really a dick move. But, maybe that's just me.
I respect your judgment, and I'll admit I doubt I could have done the same, but Jake was a friend of their youth who'd made many wrong turns since their Ranger days.

•He hit Laurie.
•He went off gambling, leaving Laurie unprotected, though he knew Blue Duck was in the area.
• When Blue Duck kidnapped Laurie, Jake didn't go after her.
• He took up with the most brutal of outlaws. True, he was once again trying to escape punishment for the unlucky shot that killed a man, but he stuck with the Suggs brothers even after they'd murdered and burned several people. Jake was always a weak. self-centered man who did what was easiest for Jake. (When McCrae tells him they got Laurie back from Blue Duck, Jake can't even recall who she is.) Call said Jake had crossed a line, and he had, but riding with the Suggs brothers was only the last line.

Call doesn't order the hangings alone. Nor does he do it coldly. It's Gus who says, "Ride with an outlaw, die with him. I admit it's a harsh code. But you rode on the other side long enough to know how it works."

It's Call you says, "I'm sorry it's us, Jake--I wish it had fallen to someone else."

Sorry to go on at such length, and I didn't mean to jack the thread. McMurtry has been one of my favorite writers since I was 17. It says a lot that the scene is sympathetic to Gus, to Call, to Newt, and to Jake, who's crossed a line he didn't even recognize.

Damn, that's a good book.
  #29  
Old 09-09-2019, 12:35 AM
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"Doctor say, you going to die, Kemo Sabe."
[after the Indians bring in a large force of white naked women] "Dammit, Tonto, I told you to bring a posse! A posse!"
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:30 AM
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"Kemo Sabe, tribe say you wear that mask 'cause you ashamed of our relationship."
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:46 AM
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Everyone Jason McCord met in Branded. It seemed like the Old West was populated by people who lost someone at the Battle of Bitter Creek.

Why McCord didn't just change his name was never explained.
Over Macho Grande?

No, I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande.
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Old 09-09-2019, 09:24 AM
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Tonto, not realizing that the Lone Ranger had disguised himself as a pool table...
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  #33  
Old 09-09-2019, 10:19 AM
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The Lone Ranger, coming on to a showgirl after a few drinks: "I'm lonely, ma'am. Really lonely."
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:39 AM
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Too bad nobody turned Brokeback Mountain into a mini-series. That was a tale about a couple of dicks.

Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.

No wonder those Cartwright men couldn't get wives. I've also thought Adam started using his mother's birth name of McIntyre, and fathered a line that lead to Trapper John MD. It does explain the remarkable resemblance to the two. Don't they look like the same person?

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-09-2019 at 10:40 AM.
  #35  
Old 09-09-2019, 10:49 AM
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Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.
She wouldn't eat her mushrooms either.
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:55 AM
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Too bad nobody turned Brokeback Mountain into a mini-series. That was a tale about a couple of dicks.

Little Joe Cartwright also had a wife who was killed by some gang members that broke into their cabin, terrorized her, and set the cabin on fire after killing her.

No wonder those Cartwright men couldn't get wives. I've also thought Adam started using his mother's birth name of McIntyre, and fathered a line that lead to Trapper John MD. It does explain the remarkable resemblance to the two. Don't they look like the same person?
Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:58 AM
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Tonto, not realizing that the Lone Ranger had disguised himself as a pool table...
...proceeds to rack his balls.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Lone Ranger, disguised as an outhouse seat, gets more ass than he can handle.
  #38  
Old 09-09-2019, 11:00 AM
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Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.
Well. somewhere in her family tree there was a McIntyre!
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:03 AM
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"Tonto, take the garbage to the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump."
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:09 AM
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When the Nevada authorities caught on to Little Joe, he went on the lam, changed his name, and headed for Minnesota.
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:18 AM
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Before hooking up with the Lone Ranger, Tonto had worked as an interior decorator:

"Hmmm.... Now we put bedrolls by cactus, campfire inside stones.... What that? You no like it? Ugnn, tough titties, Kemo!"
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Old 09-09-2019, 11:26 AM
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"Tonto, I've been diagnosed with a cancer."

"You need Kemo-therapy, Sabe!"
  #43  
Old 09-09-2019, 12:07 PM
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Adam went to college in England-the actor was pissed off that the TV show made no political comment. Dan Blocker died of a heart attack. There was a Father Son conversation with Ben and Little Joe on the shore of Lake Tahoe. "I guess that big heart finally gave out."
That's what Ben TOLD everyone to believe. Notice how no one in Virginia City ever asked how Adam was doing "in college," or that Adam never sent a single letter home; nor did anyone ever made a single comment, much less express sympathy to Ben or Joe after Hoss died.

Ben had the entire Nevada Territory playing, It's a Good Life!
  #44  
Old 09-09-2019, 12:12 PM
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Yul Brynner in Westworld?
Henry Fonda in Once upon a Time in the West. Gunned down an entire family in cold blood and enjoyed every second of it. Doesn't get more dickish than that!

Whoops! Also not TV!
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  #45  
Old 09-09-2019, 01:17 PM
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Walt Longmire has very dickish moments in "Longmire."

You didn't say they had to be from the Wild West era.
Indeed. There's a line where taciturn becomes dickish, and Longmire built that beautiful cabin of his a quarter of a mile past it.

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  #46  
Old 09-09-2019, 07:03 PM
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That's what Ben TOLD everyone to believe. Notice how no one in Virginia City ever asked how Adam was doing "in college," or that Adam never sent a single letter home; nor did anyone ever made a single comment, much less express sympathy to Ben or Joe after Hoss died.

Ben had the entire Nevada Territory playing, It's a Good Life!
Doesn't it seem like Little Joe would have more of a motive to kill off Adam and Hoss?

If I were adopted son Jamie, I'd leave.
  #47  
Old 09-09-2019, 07:53 PM
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Doesn't work. Adam's mother's name was Elizabeth Stoddard.
Wasn't she in Dark Shadows?
  #48  
Old 09-09-2019, 08:11 PM
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Wasn't she in Dark Shadows?
A Witness Protection thing.
Any woman who marries a Cartwright dies. I wouldn't let my daughter date one. Hell, I wouldn't let her talk to one on the phone...er, telegraph.
  #49  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:53 PM
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The man was married three times, and apparently no one ever thought this was suspicious.

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my first wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms...."
Come to think of it, whatever happened to Hop Sing, the Cartrights' cook?
  #50  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:52 PM
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Come to think of it, whatever happened to Hop Sing, the Cartrights' cook?
Rented out as a coolie when the Central Pacific railroad was under construction. All of his pay went directly to Ben for "safekeeping."
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