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  #7801  
Old 09-07-2019, 07:55 PM
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Today I hear the robin sing
Today the thrush is on the wing
Today who knows what life will bring
Today...
  #7802  
Old 09-07-2019, 08:02 PM
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If they want someone to act outside of a trench, they can get themselves a goddamn stuntman!
  #7803  
Old 09-07-2019, 08:54 PM
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She's a good Sheila, Bruce, and not at all stuck up.
  #7804  
Old 09-08-2019, 07:59 AM
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But why couldn't you fight a penguin?
  #7805  
Old 09-08-2019, 02:28 PM
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'Ello 'ello 'ello - what's all this, then?
  #7806  
Old 09-08-2019, 02:31 PM
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Iiiiiiimanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
  #7807  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:56 PM
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Tonight we're going to sort it all out, for tonight is The Meaning Of Life.
  #7808  
Old 09-11-2019, 06:11 PM
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We'll be showing you more of that photograph later in the programme...unless we hear from Charles or Michael.
  #7809  
Old 09-11-2019, 11:31 PM
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No, no, no, my fish's name is Eric, Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
  #7810  
Old 09-14-2019, 07:50 PM
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I wave my private parts in your general direction!
  #7811  
Old 09-15-2019, 01:38 PM
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He's a halibut.
  #7812  
Old 09-17-2019, 07:19 PM
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Four HOURS to bury the cat?

Yes, it wouldn't keep still.
  #7813  
Old 09-17-2019, 09:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
He's a[n] halibut.
See two posts earlier.

I waggled me wig!
  #7814  
Old 09-18-2019, 04:54 AM
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Good evening. It's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television to explode.
  #7815  
Old 09-18-2019, 06:04 AM
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Scott: (shouts) I get to fight the lion.
  #7816  
Old 09-18-2019, 08:38 AM
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Oh, I don't know what's good about it, my right arm's hanging off something awful.
  #7817  
Old 09-18-2019, 08:49 AM
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And now for something completely different - a man with a tape recorder up his nose.
  #7818  
Old 09-18-2019, 03:34 PM
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Dinsdale...?
  #7819  
Old 09-18-2019, 10:36 PM
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Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
  #7820  
Old 09-19-2019, 07:49 AM
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Go away!
  #7821  
Old 09-19-2019, 09:24 AM
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I'm going to ask you again, and if you say no, I'm going to have to shoot you.
  #7822  
Old 09-19-2019, 07:30 PM
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It doesn't matter! You're all going to die in a day or two.
  #7823  
Old 09-20-2019, 04:12 AM
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It doesn't matter why they're dressed as a tiger. Have they got my leg?
  #7824  
Old 09-20-2019, 03:31 PM
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No, no, no, my fish's name is Eric, Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
  #7825  
Old 09-20-2019, 04:03 PM
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I have this terrible feeling of deja vu.
  #7826  
Old 09-20-2019, 09:15 PM
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Me too.




What a silly bunt.
  #7827  
Old 09-21-2019, 07:54 PM
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What a silly bunt.
  #7828  
Old 09-23-2019, 06:49 PM
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Well I don't want to show my hand too early, but actually here at Slater Nazi we are quite keen to get into orphans, you know, developing market and all that... what sort of sum did you have in mind?
  #7829  
Old 09-23-2019, 11:40 PM
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Oh, I'll look after the cat. Goodness me, Mrs. Newman's eldest never worried about the cat when he went off to do The Sweet Bird of Youth.
  #7830  
Old 09-24-2019, 08:39 AM
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Can I please speak! I came all the way from Oslo to do this program! I'm a professor of archaeology. I'm an expert in ancient civilizations. All right, I'm only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I've had more women than either of you two! I've had half bloody Norway, that's what I've had! So you can keep your Robert Eversley! And you can keep your bloody Watutsi! I'd rather have my little body... my little five-foot-ten-inch body...
  #7831  
Old 09-24-2019, 08:50 AM
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It just says "We would like you to be in a sketch. You are standing at a counter. When the sketch starts you go off. Yours faithfully, Lord Hill."
  #7832  
Old 09-25-2019, 12:39 AM
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Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no singing!
  #7833  
Old 09-25-2019, 04:42 AM
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He's going to tell, he's going to tell
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  #7834  
Old 09-25-2019, 08:17 AM
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It's a bird, innit? It's a bloody sea bird . .. it's not any bloody flavour. Albatross!
  #7835  
Old 09-26-2019, 04:33 PM
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And now for something completely different.
  #7836  
Old 09-27-2019, 09:19 PM
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It's funny how one can go through life, as I have, disliking bananas and being indifferent to cheese, and then be able to eat, and enjoy, a banana and cheese sandwich like this.
  #7837  
Old 09-27-2019, 11:14 PM
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You're in luck; here's the Lord Mayor.
  #7838  
Old 09-30-2019, 11:40 AM
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Tattooed on the back o' the neck!
  #7839  
Old 09-30-2019, 12:20 PM
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And after the spankings... the oral sex!
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  #7840  
Old 09-30-2019, 01:16 PM
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Hello and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty L.A. suburb of Hollywood. Well, we're about to witness All-in Wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world's first combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing; and by the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile. You never know when it'll go off.
  #7841  
Old 09-30-2019, 11:20 PM
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Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
  #7842  
Old 10-02-2019, 08:52 AM
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Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
  #7843  
Old 10-02-2019, 10:06 AM
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Start again...
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  #7844  
Old 10-02-2019, 10:10 AM
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It's...
  #7845  
Old 10-17-2019, 06:50 PM
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It's their third time here with us, we can't keep you away can we? Ha, ha, and over here is Mr Hilter.
  #7846  
Old 10-18-2019, 11:07 PM
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I've got a hat.
  #7847  
Old 10-18-2019, 11:41 PM
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That was never five minutes.
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  #7848  
Old 10-19-2019, 11:14 AM
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I'm starting a war for peace.
  #7849  
Old 10-19-2019, 10:51 PM
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Albatross!
  #7850  
Old 10-19-2019, 11:06 PM
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Try to tell the kids today that, they'll never believe you.
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