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  #301  
Old 08-20-2014, 07:38 AM
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Lana (C. J. Perry) spent her formative years in Latvia as a ballet dancer, and spent time as a model, singer, and actress before joining WWE. Usually, wrestling promotions prefer to promote from within. It's rare to see somebody without a wrestling or sports-related background put in such a prominent role, but they needed somebody to act as Rusev's mouthpiece, and Perry's resume fit perfectly.

Vince and HHH are supposedly butting heads over Brrrrrock's opponent at WM 31. Vince wants Dwayne Johnson, and HHH wants Reigns. The Rock didn't look so effective last time he was in WWE when he feuded with Cena. I guess Vince wants mainstream attention for the extra dollars, which is why he pushed for Batista's presence prior to the release of Guardians of the Galaxy, and that nearly backfired. Maybe it will attract a few extra network subscribers, but the Rock lives the Hollywood life, while Lesnar lives to fight and doesn't waste his time with flash and glamor. Pseudo-realistically speaking, Lesnar would squash Johnson into Rock Jelly, but a WM main event has to look like a potentially even match, and Johnson's no more of a challenge than David Arquette. Their match would look like such a futile example of pandering.
  #302  
Old 08-20-2014, 12:44 PM
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Just read on a message board today that house shows following Night Of Champions is advertising "Cena vs Rollins for the WWE title"

Dunno if that means the return of Super Cena, but it's something to think about
  #303  
Old 08-20-2014, 12:47 PM
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Just read on a message board today that house shows following Night Of Champions is advertising "Cena vs Rollins for the WWE title"

Dunno if that means the return of Super Cena, but it's something to think about
House show ads tend to run behind the times like that. They were also promoting Cena vs. Rollins for the title at house shows this week, and IIRC Madison Square Garden was promoting CM Punk for a house show there for months after he walked out.
  #304  
Old 08-20-2014, 01:06 PM
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I HAAAAATTTEEEE JBL.

There is nothing important that ever comes out of his mouth ever. He does nothing for announcing, nothing to push storylines, nothing at all. ever.

And he was just on another level last night. I guess I understand the importance of a heel announcer, but he is just too much
JBL is my least favorite commentator ever, and I loathe him with a passion. I know they all have Vince yelling in their earpieces all the time, but JBL is so much worse about it than the others are - all he can do is recite catchphrases, repeat the same couple of lines over and over again, and argue with MAGGLE no matter how little sense it makes for them to be disagreeing. He gushes over gimmick wrestlers (presumably because Vince is telling him he needs to sell El Torito as the greatest thing since Andre the Giant) even when it's inappropriate for his character - I remember one time when Los Matadores fought the Real Americans and he seemed like he had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other both trying to tell him who he was supposed to be rooting for. And, of course, whenever Rusev is in the ring he suddenly turns into a face, except for when he doesn't. You could replace him with his soundboard from one of the WWE video games and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

I mean, really, if you absolutely have to have a heel commentator (and I'd argue that you don't always need one anyway), you already have William Regal, who's much more knowledgeable about the business, actually seems like he's having fun when he's on commentary, and is capable of contributing more to the conversation than "The apex predator! Mexico's finest export! Face of the WWE! Grandfather! War hero! The bizarre one! Conspiracy theories and black helicopters and aliens at Area 51! That's the kick that won him the championship! If that happens next Sunday we could have us a new World Heavyweight Championship! Sons of the great Rikishi! The hounds of justice! The mighty bull! HAHAHAHAHA AH LOVE IT MAGGLE!" Let JBL hang out in the back room with IRS and Malenko and Arn Anderson, and leave the commentary to someone who actually knows what they're doing.
  #305  
Old 08-20-2014, 04:45 PM
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House show ads tend to run behind the times like that. They were also promoting Cena vs. Rollins for the title at house shows this week, and IIRC Madison Square Garden was promoting CM Punk for a house show there for months after he walked out.
It was announced by Triple H at WWE Main Event and is on WWE.com.

I hope WWE isn't just going to have Cena rebound. This booking really has me confused about WWE's intentions with Brock/the belt.
  #306  
Old 08-20-2014, 04:58 PM
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It was announced by Triple H at WWE Main Event and is on WWE.com.
...I don't believe we're discussing the same thing here, because I'm pretty sure Trips didn't appear on Main Event to announce a match scheduled for a house show.
  #307  
Old 08-20-2014, 05:32 PM
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HHH announced that Cena was exercising his rematch clause and would be fighting Lesnar again at Night of Champions. While it's not unreasonable to conclude that #CENAWINSLOL, it being John Cena and the WWE we're talking about here, Hunter is not quite just giving us spoilers yet.

JBL has his moments--mostly on SmackDown, where I suspect Vince and Dunn aren't as domineering in the earpieces, and also where there's no Lawler. He'll call Cole for saying something stupid now and then, like when Cole questioned Rollins being the "Architect" of the SHIELD. He's also good for wrestling trivia every once in a while. But for the most part, the state of the announce table on WWE main roster programming right now is fucking dire.

That said, I can't get on board w/ bringing Regal up; he's definitely a great commentator, but I think he's more valuable helping bring up new talent in NXT. I wouldn't mind seeing Christian take a shot at it, though; he did a stint at the table earlier this year as part of some feud or other he was in, before he got permanently sidelined w/ injury, and was pretty decent. He also was good on the NXT pre-show panel.
  #308  
Old 08-21-2014, 07:29 AM
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JBL actually shows some cleverness every now and then. He'll drop a reference to a hometown sports hero at whatever venue they're at, then bitch slap Cole for being ignorant of that name. He at least does some research. But yes, he gets annoying for the same reason Cole did when he was a heel announcer, loudly whining about really insignificant shit.

Aside from Bobby Heenan, I think the best ever heel announcer was Joel Gertner of ECW. He'd introduce himself as "The quintessential stud muffin" and then delve into a paragraph-long nickname for himself, such as:
  • "It is I, the quintessential studmuffin, Joel 'this girl I know wanted to see the show, live here in Connecticut, so I told her to bend over, and I'd show her where I'd stick it. For forty-five minutes, she proceeded to tease and please and lick it, but when all was said and done, you know I made her buy a ticket' Gertner."
  • "And there's me, Joel 'The biggest ladykiller in Buffalo since OJ Simpson' Gertner."
  • "It is I, Joel 'the lyrical miracle, the sexual intellectual' Gertner."
  • "It is I, Joel 'I'm young, I'm hung and I'm skilled with my tongue' Gertner."
  • "It is I, Joel 'I'm California dreamin', and I leave the girlies screamin', 'cause I'm a pussy lickin' demon, with vanilla flavoured semen' Gertner."
  • "Just like the Rubix Cube, the more you play with it, the harder it gets"
  • Joel "Point the direction you want my erection" Gertner
  • Joel "I have busted more nuts than a peanut factory" Gertner
  • "And then there's me, I'm like milk, I do a body good, the Quintessential Studmuffin, the man who's wit is more tongue in cheek than a lesbian orgy, Joel 'Your Girlfriend Has Me On Her Speed Dial Because She Likes the Way I Star 69 Her' Gertner"
  • "I'm Joel; I'm in Tennessee as I always feared, then I asked your mother for some lovin' and you mother volunteered; Gertner!"
  • "It is I, the man for whom, if it's a crime for my cock to be large, then you know I'm always 'guilty as charged', Joel, 'Another PPV here in New York City, with her face on my nuts, even that girl would look pretty. Wait, wait, wait, I really shouldn't have said that, it was kinda of shitty. I apologize, I'm just trying to be witty, and I hope you're not offended 'cause that would truly be a pity, 'cause I was gonna fondle those titties and lick that little clitty' Gertner."
  #309  
Old 08-21-2014, 07:47 AM
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JBL is my least favorite commentator ever, and I loathe him with a passion. I know they all have Vince yelling in their earpieces all the time, but JBL is so much worse about it than the others are - all he can do is recite catchphrases, repeat the same couple of lines over and over again, and argue with MAGGLE no matter how little sense it makes for them to be disagreeing. He gushes over gimmick wrestlers (presumably because Vince is telling him he needs to sell El Torito as the greatest thing since Andre the Giant) even when it's inappropriate for his character - I remember one time when Los Matadores fought the Real Americans and he seemed like he had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other both trying to tell him who he was supposed to be rooting for. And, of course, whenever Rusev is in the ring he suddenly turns into a face, except for when he doesn't. You could replace him with his soundboard from one of the WWE video games and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

I mean, really, if you absolutely have to have a heel commentator (and I'd argue that you don't always need one anyway), you already have William Regal, who's much more knowledgeable about the business, actually seems like he's having fun when he's on commentary, and is capable of contributing more to the conversation than "The apex predator! Mexico's finest export! Face of the WWE! Grandfather! War hero! The bizarre one! Conspiracy theories and black helicopters and aliens at Area 51! That's the kick that won him the championship! If that happens next Sunday we could have us a new World Heavyweight Championship! Sons of the great Rikishi! The hounds of justice! The mighty bull! HAHAHAHAHA AH LOVE IT MAGGLE!" Let JBL hang out in the back room with IRS and Malenko and Arn Anderson, and leave the commentary to someone who actually knows what they're doing.

The absolute funniest thing about this whole rant was that I read it aloud to my girlfriend the first time I ever read it, an in the first half I had no idea what "maggle" was.

Then I was reading all the quotes and doing my JBL interpretation, got to MAGGLE and said it and then realized what it was and laughed my ass off.

Good post too since it's ALL true and you nailed every. stupid. quote. he says
  #310  
Old 08-21-2014, 08:16 PM
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and is capable of contributing more to the conversation than "The apex predator! Mexico's finest export! Face of the WWE! Grandfather! War hero! The bizarre one! Conspiracy theories and black helicopters and aliens at Area 51! That's the kick that won him the championship! If that happens next Sunday we could have us a new World Heavyweight Championship! Sons of the great Rikishi! The hounds of justice! The mighty bull! HAHAHAHAHA AH LOVE IT MAGGLE!"
Pay a bit more attention to the meta-commentary. You'll notice that the vocabulary changes. Each guy has a number of specific descriptive words and phrases that MUST be put in the commentary by the announcers. They way they talk about him and they way they praise or attack him is cookie cutter consistent from match to match.

Maggle.
  #311  
Old 08-21-2014, 09:33 PM
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Pay a bit more attention to the meta-commentary. You'll notice that the vocabulary changes. Each guy has a number of specific descriptive words and phrases that MUST be put in the commentary by the announcers. They way they talk about him and they way they praise or attack him is cookie cutter consistent from match to match.

Maggle.
Everyone's "favorite" example of this, Maggle, would be THEDEMONKANE. When he put that mask on, word quite clearly came down from on high that KANE was not to be spoken without THEDEMON in front of it. I think I remember one time in the entire period that anyone said just Kane. (It was, IIRC, Steph, and it was pretty clearly an accident because she made up for it by saying THEDEMONKANE a lot after that.) (There was also that one time at Extreme Rules when someone (Cole, IIRC) called him a "demon gentleman", which was kind of hilarious.)

I haven't been paying attention to whether they're as consistent about calling him THEKORPORATEKANE.
  #312  
Old 08-22-2014, 07:29 AM
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Dang, what's happened to Enzo Amore? Last week, he gets knocked out by a kick to the head from enhancement talent and Big Cass takes a blow for him. This week he gets pinned by the Vaudevillains. He's gotten SAWFT, maggle!

HHH announced the new NXT GM would debut next week. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman, MAGGLE!
  #313  
Old 08-22-2014, 07:33 AM
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Dang, what's happened to Enzo Amore? Last week, he gets knocked out by a kick to the head from enhancement talent and Big Cass takes a blow for him. This week he gets pinned by the Vaudevillains. He's gotten SAWFT, maggle!

HHH announced the new NXT GM would debut next week. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman, MAGGLE!
Well I think you said the answer right there. He's gotten S-A-W-F-T Saaaaaawwwwwwwwft!

I also have had more fun watching the Kalisto matches than half of the matches on the WWE. If there's one thing that the WCW did truly right, it was bring in the luchadores, they are so much fun.

As for the GM, Maybe it's Sting?

HE'S HERE! IT'S THE LEGEND MAGGLE!

I also nailed down a date to go visit my girlfriend in Orlando, and nearby they are doing an NXT house show! We are really excited and tickets are forthcoming

Last edited by Sir T-Cups; 08-22-2014 at 07:34 AM.
  #314  
Old 08-22-2014, 10:14 AM
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I also nailed down a date to go visit my girlfriend in Orlando, and nearby they are doing an NXT house show! We are really excited and tickets are forthcoming
Awesome! Be sure to post a pic of you two beforehand so we can look for you in the broadcast, maggle!
  #315  
Old 08-22-2014, 02:57 PM
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Awesome! Be sure to post a pic of you two beforehand so we can look for you in the broadcast, maggle!
It's not actually at Full-Sail, so I don't know if it's televised. I think it;s a house show, because looking at the schedule they do shows all around florida
  #316  
Old 08-22-2014, 03:04 PM
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Well I think you said the answer right there. He's gotten S-A-W-F-T Saaaaaawwwwwwwwft!
And ya can't teach 'dat!
  #317  
Old 08-22-2014, 05:20 PM
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It's not actually at Full-Sail, so I don't know if it's televised. I think it;s a house show, because looking at the schedule they do shows all around florida
So obviously what you need are lots of pics with Simon Gotch, Becky, Bayley, Lady Flair, Enzo and Big Cass (howudoin)...

ETA: also Mojo, just to see if he gets gassed taking a selfie...

Last edited by LawMonkey; 08-22-2014 at 05:22 PM.
  #318  
Old 08-22-2014, 05:26 PM
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So obviously what you need are lots of pics with Simon Gotch, Becky, Bayley, Lady Flair, Enzo and Big Cass (howudoin)...

ETA: also Mojo, just to see if he gets gassed taking a selfie...
According to the "supposed to be there" list Bayley isn't going to be there.


And I am very VERY disappointed!


We are going second-to-last weekend in september, so I'll announce when I'll give a full report
  #319  
Old 08-23-2014, 10:33 AM
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HHH announced the new NXT GM would debut next week. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman. Please let it be Paul Heyman, MAGGLE!
I generally avoid reading NXT spoilers because I hate ruining the surprise when I watch it. (For the unaware, they tape 3-4 episodes in one night, much like in the early days of Raw.) I couldn't help look this one up, though. The new GM is:

SPOILER:
William Regal.

Last edited by Smapti; 08-23-2014 at 10:34 AM.
  #320  
Old 08-23-2014, 11:50 AM
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I generally avoid reading NXT spoilers because I hate ruining the surprise when I watch it. (For the unaware, they tape 3-4 episodes in one night, much like in the early days of Raw.) I couldn't help look this one up, though. The new GM is:

SPOILER:
William Regal.
OK, that's just as good.
SPOILER:
I like it when he snarls at BJ Thomas on commentary, but maybe he'll call him an "unwashed foul-smelling git" in front of the audience instead.
  #321  
Old 08-23-2014, 01:42 PM
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Grrr. This NXT GM thing is driving me nuts. I hope they don't go with a heel authority figure thing like on the main shows--it's pretty stale, and leads to silly consequences such as literally every heel having to have something to do with the boss.
  #322  
Old 08-23-2014, 01:50 PM
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Grrr. This NXT GM thing is driving me nuts. I hope they don't go with a heel authority figure thing like on the main shows--it's pretty stale, and leads to silly consequences such as literally every heel having to have something to do with the boss.
Eh, JBL was pretty tolerable as GM - more tolerable than he is on commentary, anyway. The last official decision he made - stripping Paige of the Women's title after she'd also become Divas champion - was actually even sensible. It's funny how whenever he or Triple H or Steph show up on NXT, they're played as faces in spite of the main roster continuity.

Last edited by Smapti; 08-23-2014 at 01:51 PM.
  #323  
Old 08-23-2014, 02:15 PM
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Yeah, so far they've stayed away from the heel authority figure trope they run on the main show. Just hoping they stay that way.

I don't think HHH could play heel at Full Sail if he wanted to. Everybody knows it's his baby.
  #324  
Old 08-23-2014, 04:49 PM
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JBL has been on NXT maybe twice this past year. He ain't got much spare time when he's climbing mountains and calling matches, MAGGLE!

Tom Phillips is now play-by-play on SD. I've tried, but I can't find anything annoying about him. Maybe Byron and Renee will shortly join him.
  #325  
Old 08-25-2014, 12:50 PM
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JBL has been on NXT maybe twice this past year. He ain't got much spare time when he's climbing mountains and calling matches, MAGGLE!

Tom Phillips is now play-by-play on SD. I've tried, but I can't find anything annoying about him. Maybe Byron and Renee will shortly join him.
They have a different crew on Smackdown? Since when? Has it always been that way and I never payed attention/been that long since I've watched it?
  #326  
Old 08-25-2014, 01:31 PM
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They have a different crew on Smackdown? Since when? Has it always been that way and I never payed attention/been that long since I've watched it?
Don't worry, they just added Tom Phillips to JBL and Cole this past Friday.
  #327  
Old 08-25-2014, 01:45 PM
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Tom Phillips is now play-by-play on SD. I've tried, but I can't find anything annoying about him. Maybe Byron and Renee will shortly join him.
He's pretty bland, but that's preferable to the way Maggle, JBL and Lawler are not-bland. Sadly, Cole and JBL pretty much ran over on him last Friday. Hopefully he'll come into his own once he builds up some confidence on the big stage.
  #328  
Old 08-25-2014, 08:31 PM
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Happy to see the Goldust/Stardust heel turn.
  #329  
Old 08-25-2014, 09:20 PM
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Happy to see the Goldust/Stardust heel turn.
It is literally the only halfway interesting thing this RAW.
  #330  
Old 08-25-2014, 09:23 PM
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It is literally the only halfway interesting thing this RAW.
The Bella stuff was rather amusing.
  #331  
Old 08-25-2014, 09:50 PM
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Well, now I have a reason to watch my DVR'd Raw tomorrow. (Tonight I was watching the season premiere of Doctor Who on the Big Screen.)
  #332  
Old 08-25-2014, 11:47 PM
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The important question is whether this brings them any closer to finding the Cosmic Key.
  #333  
Old 08-26-2014, 07:21 AM
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The important question is whether this brings them any closer to finding the Cosmic Key.
It did actually. But then the key was taken!

....kinda

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The Bella stuff was rather amusing.
This storyline infuriates me. Not because it's happening, because I frankly LOVE that there's a divas storyline not involving the title/fake romance. But the execution is terrible. The Bellas can't act for shit, the whiny "bully sister" angle is played out and stereotypical, there's nothing new and interesting about this.
  #334  
Old 08-26-2014, 09:20 PM
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Piss poor booking with Cena and the Wyatts. They switch Cena with Brock and Wyatt with Cena. Cena clotheslines Bray and Bray acts like it's the most painful thing he's ever experienced. Bray's always had the "laugh in the face of pain" angle and now he's all the sudden Cena's little bitch boy? Then Super Cena single-handedly beats up the Wyatts so bad, they can't run in and break the submission hold? Donkey urine! Donkey urine I say! The rankest of asses sprays acidic ordure on this retched abominable booking!
  #335  
Old 08-27-2014, 09:38 AM
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That was an awful Raw. Paige, AJ, and Natalya was the only interesting thing.
  #336  
Old 08-28-2014, 09:01 AM
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Read online (message board so no link) that even though he is advertised in soon-to-be shows, Bautista/Bootista/Bluetista is most likely not coming back to the WWE because apparently he's made one good movie and now he's a huge start or whatever.

Which disappoints me because I loved how he was at the end of his run there.
  #337  
Old 08-28-2014, 10:55 PM
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Sad to hear that Jake"the Snake" Roberts is in a coma in a Las Vegas hospital. He is one of the all time greats. Roberts' take on the evil demented heel gimmick has never been done better.
  #338  
Old 08-29-2014, 07:19 AM
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He's out of the coma now. He had contracted double pneumonia.
  #339  
Old 08-29-2014, 09:01 AM
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He's beaten addiction....he can beat this!
  #340  
Old 08-29-2014, 09:48 AM
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Bautista/Bootista/Bluetista is most likely not coming back to the WWE because apparently he's made one good movie and now he's a huge start or whatever.

Which disappoints me because I loved how he was at the end of his run there.
I wasn't happy with Dave's attitude toward the fans when things weren't working his way, but I can understand his unhappiness with what WWE promised him vs. what actually happened. All in all I genuinely like the guy, but this last run was a disaster all around and I don't blame him for not wanting to come back and risk injury given how it all ended up.
  #341  
Old 08-29-2014, 11:17 PM
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Tonight's Smackdown was meh, even by Smackdown standards, but....

MATCH OF THE NIGHT! Rusev vs. Swagger. Holy hell, apparently someone backstage has told people to sell, because this was the sellin'est match ever sold by a couple of selling soldiers. Rusev, still selling the hell out of his ankle from Summerslam. Swagger, still selling the hell out of his ribs from whenever they got hurt. As someone from the live thread over on my usual IWC hangout put it, it was a couple of wounded lions circling around a wildebeest carcass. Rusev, especially--nevermind his gimmick, the way he can sell is a total face move. I was cheering for him every time Swagger went for his ankle, and I kept yelling for Lana to interfere somehow and get him DQed. And yet--I was right there for Swagger when he got put into the Accolade--and fair play to him for being the first guy to break out of it. (Big E got close, but I think Swagger's the first to actually get out of the hold.)

And I still think Lana should've interfered, but the finish for that match? Perfect. I actually thought it was Lana throwing in the towel to save Rusev the submission, but then... BO-LIEVE! With that, Bo put himself into contention with Steph for best heel on the roster--and hey, he can actually wrassle.

So Rusev, so far as I can tell, has got to wind up being a face, because the way he can sell is total face. Could've been different if he'd turned out to be faking it, but no, his ankle is still weak from summerslam. Swagger, who would've thought it--he's actually getting over. And shit, he's selling too--that rib injury from whenever he got it. So obviously the answer is: Rusev and Swagger stop in the middle of the ring, look at Bo being Bo--shake hands and beat the everloving crap out of Bo.

And that should tell you how great Bo can be as a heel. He can transcend nationalism; Putin and Obama can set aside their differences to agree that Bo Dallas needs to be taught a lesson.
  #342  
Old 08-30-2014, 08:22 AM
GoodOmens is offline
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Well, Bo Dallas does have the second much punchable face in the WWE.
  #343  
Old 08-30-2014, 11:15 AM
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Interesting that they're making Bo a "does-heel-things" kind of heel. His attitude and overall character is what made him a good heel, not the fact he does stupid things like distract, so I am on the fence with this.

I'll have to stay tuned
  #344  
Old 08-30-2014, 12:13 PM
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I thought Bo threw the towel to distract the ref.

Swagger's effectively been buried back to Zack Ryder level now. He's going to keep wearing the stupid chest wraps during his feud with Bo so he'll be vulnerable. I guess the Wyatts are all going to take turns jobbing to Roman Reigns, and Jericho will feud with Orton starting Monday.
  #345  
Old 08-30-2014, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir T-Cups View Post
Interesting that they're making Bo a "does-heel-things" kind of heel. His attitude and overall character is what made him a good heel, not the fact he does stupid things like distract, so I am on the fence with this.

I'll have to stay tuned
Nah, Bo's always done heel things. Go have a look at his match w/ E for a title shot or leaving town. It's part of the whole schtick--he's a hypocrite.
  #346  
Old 09-02-2014, 07:27 AM
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I negotiated working yesterday to get Sunday off for football, so I only saw the last hour of Raw, but from what I can gather it was tag-team night.

I was given text updates, but I honestly can't remember much of what was told to me, so I think that means Raw was pretty whatever.

Speaking to the main event, another round of super Reigns and super Cena just being themselves, although the pop that Cena got when he was tagged in was one of the louder ones I can remember.
  #347  
Old 09-02-2014, 08:27 AM
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Sir T-Cups, you missed more Divas drama, the shit I normally f-fwd through. Nikki had several segments where she whined about having to Bree's rescue at the cost of her own integrity. There was a sicks (spelling intentional) divas match that lasted about a minute, long enough for Rosa Mendez to blow a spot and JBL to fumble around for a compliment for her, finally settling on "semi-athletic."

Bo Dallas did a promo that had me laughing my maggle off. After Jack Swagger beat Curt Axel, Bo had three people from the audience sitting in high chairs on the entrance platform. He said they were among the 318 million Americans who suffered from Swagger's loss to Rusev. The first one was a guy who lost the family farm because he bet all his money on Swagger, twice. The second one was an immigrant who was getting deported back to Italy because he failed his citizenship test, due to Swagger's bad example. The third was a mother whose son had wanted to be Jack Swagger when he grew up, but now wants to be Vladimir Putin. Bo had them stand up, put their hands over the hearts, and pledge "All you have to do is Bo-Lieve!" I was gasping for air at that point.

Mark Henry & Big Show vs Luke Harper & Erick Rowan ended in DQ when Rusev stepped in and mule kicked Henry while he had Harper ready for the World's Strongest Slam. Prior to that, it was a pretty good match, in that there was no counters or missed attacks. All the participants were too big to do agile moves, so they just clobbered each other like cavemen.

Adam Rose beat Titus "Gator" O'Neil. Heath Slater and The Bunny tangled up at ringside, and O'Neil was so dumbfounded by the idiocy of it all, Rose rolled him up for the three count. JBL said The Bunny better not get near him, because he's got one last Clothesline From Hell left. I hope The Bunny doesn't turn out to be a way for introducing somebody from NXT to the main roster, like Sami Zayn. I still think Rose wants to torture people into being happy.

In yet another episode of the "face has injury that puts over heel" angle, an Uso has a bandaged leg so the Dust Brothers can win. Dean Ambrose wore the wrapping first, then passed it down to Swagger, who passed it on to Uso.

Miz and Cesaro took on Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. Miz now has Damian Sandow and some chick accompany him to matches to keep his face freshly painted. He had Sandow step in and take a bump from Ziggler and then ambushed Ziggy with his finisher to win. I remember when Jimmy Garvin had his valet Precious accompany him to the ring, constantly brushing his mane and applying hair spray. Back in the day when I went to live NWA matches, she would usually go to the ring announcer and have him ask the audience not to smoke, because cigarette fumes would get in Jimmy's hair. Maybe this gimmick will get Miz his groove back, who knows.

So that was what happened before the main event.
  #348  
Old 09-02-2014, 10:56 AM
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Did anyone else find it interesting that the end of last night's Lana anti-US promo ended with her searching for the proper words to use, and coming up with "You Suck"?

Coincidence? Foreshadowing? Vince trying to screw with the smarks? Will be interesting to see if she continues to use that choice of words.
  #349  
Old 09-02-2014, 11:12 AM
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Oh man I forgot about the Cosmic Weirdos and the Usos match.

I think that (insert uso here) was screaming WAY too loudly, he was like...being stabbed.


Awesome recap Knowed...thanks!!


Hopefully that's the last Monday that I have to work for a good long time
  #350  
Old 09-02-2014, 11:17 AM
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Whose bright idea was it to pre-empt the post-RAW show on WWE Network again? Apparently, once again, it was to get as many people as possible to watch the debut of a "new" show, but at least this time it was worth watching - they're starting to air WCW Monday Night ROW (er, Monday Nitro). I just hope they put back all of the Horsemen interviews that they edited out of the WWE 24/7 On Demand broadcasts. Okay, maybe not all of them...(better put this in a spoiler as it mentions Chris Benoit)
SPOILER:
There's one where Benoit uses the phrase, "Silent, but Violent"
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