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  #51  
Old 04-25-2009, 04:26 PM
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Lipstick. According to Jeremy Paxton in his book, On Royalty, when he sat next to her at a luncheon, she started fixing her lipstick towards the end of the meal. (That's also when they let the corgis in and she started feeding them table scraps.
  #52  
Old 04-25-2009, 04:37 PM
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I will assume she has a cell phone in her purse.
There's a scene in the movie, The Queen, where she is shown driving alone on some royal estate (Balmoral, I think it was), and her car conks out in the middle of nowhere. She first takes a look under the hood to figure out what's wrong (she's a former mechanic, after all), then she takes a cell phone out of her purse and calls for help. I remember wondering if the Palace staff had special ring tones for when it was the Queen calling. I bet she never gets sent to voice mail.
  #53  
Old 04-25-2009, 04:46 PM
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This question has been sent to Cecil, and I've put it in the short pile for him to look at. I have no idea whether he'll take it on, nor how long it might take.
  #54  
Old 04-25-2009, 07:18 PM
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There's a scene in the movie, The Queen, where she is shown driving alone on some royal estate (Balmoral, I think it was), and her car conks out in the middle of nowhere. She first takes a look under the hood to figure out what's wrong (she's a former mechanic, after all), then she takes a cell phone out of her purse and calls for help. I remember wondering if the Palace staff had special ring tones for when it was the Queen calling. I bet she never gets sent to voice mail.
If that's the case, I'll bet the temptation to abuse that would be fierce. (I've read that the Queen has a WICKED sense of humor)
  #55  
Old 05-02-2010, 07:02 PM
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I once saw a short video on the website of the Danish tourism authority about that country's monarchy. To introduce Queen Margrethe, they had an aerial view of the palace with a telephone ringing, then they cut to the inside of her office -- she picked up the phone and said Dronningen, which means "The Queen" but which I prefer to translate as "Queen here!"

Last edited by matt_mcl; 05-02-2010 at 07:02 PM.
  #56  
Old 05-02-2010, 08:01 PM
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I seem to recall a Canadian DJ managed to prank call the Queen pretending to be the Canadian Prime Minister. Anyone know if there's a transcript or recording or something along those lines?
This is the best I could do: http://www.nytimes.com/1995/10/29/wo...ho-s-this.html. I've read elsewhere that the Queen took it in good humor when she spoke to the very apologetic Canadian PM later, joking, "I thought your voice sounded slightly different, but I thought it might just have been because you were drunk."

I've also read that the Queen has developed a stock line to use whenever the cellphone of a visitor goes off: "You'd better answer that. It might be someone important."

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 05-02-2010 at 08:03 PM.
  #57  
Old 05-02-2010, 09:26 PM
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Same way any normal person answers: "Wazzup my nigga?"
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Old 05-02-2010, 10:46 PM
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I hear that Prince Charles has never put toothpaste on his toothbrush in his life; when he goes to brush his teeth it's just there ready. For all he knows it's like that for everyone; that would explain his readiness to believe in superstitions like talking plants and homeopathy.

I would imagine a similar mechanism means that the Queen never herself answers the phone, it's always passed her by The Third Phone-Wrangler Pursuivant or whoever.
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Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
I figured after she says "Hello", he says, "Hi, may I please speak to Her Majesty / Elizabeth / Grandma?" and she says "This is she."
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Originally Posted by jayjay View Post
"This is We."
"These are We" - one would assume she speaks The Queen's English, after all.
  #59  
Old 05-02-2010, 10:48 PM
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Same way any normal person answers: "Wazzup my nigga?"
Was it really worth doing essentially the same joke for the fourth time in this thread?
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Old 05-02-2010, 10:52 PM
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Was it really worth doing essentially the same joke for the fourth time in this thread?
Probably not if I had read the whole thread. I usually only read the first 5-10 replies though and I didn't see it. Sorry.
  #61  
Old 05-02-2010, 11:40 PM
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"Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith speaking"

Depends on which realm the subject she is communicating with is from
Let's just hope she doesn't get a job in corporate accounts payable.

"Corporate accounts payable, this is Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, this is Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, this is Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith speaking. Just a moment."
  #62  
Old 05-02-2010, 11:51 PM
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I've also read that the Queen has developed a stock line to use whenever the cellphone of a visitor goes off: "You'd better answer that. It might be someone important."
Why, that's not arrogant or conceited at all, implying you're obviously the most important person on Earth.
  #63  
Old 05-03-2010, 04:14 AM
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I hear that Prince Charles has never put toothpaste on his toothbrush in his life; when he goes to brush his teeth it's just there ready. For all he knows it's like that for everyone; that would explain his readiness to believe in superstitions like talking plants and homeopathy.
You can't believe everything you hear. Given the famously spartan nature of the school he went to, plus his time in the services, he's clearly perfectly capable of fending for himself, as needed.
  #64  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:05 AM
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Why, that's not arrogant or conceited at all, implying you're obviously the most important person on Earth.
To a lot of people, she is. Just saying.
  #65  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:38 AM
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Why, that's not arrogant or conceited at all, implying you're obviously the most important person on Earth.
Except that she probably means it in good humour. She is quite likely playing on the belief of the people with her that she is very important. They are going to be embarrassed that they forgot to turn their phone off in the presence of someone they consider to be immensely important. She knows this (again, regardless of her own view of herself). They are probably going to be very apologetic. If she says nothing, they will be embarrassed at what they see as a gaffe. If she says "that's quite all right" or something similarly polite they are going to think she is just being polite and still be embarrassed. By making a joke of it, she breaks the tension.

I'm no kind of fan of the royals, but I understand from what little I bother to read about them that they do have to spend half their life making very nervous people feel sufficiently at ease to be able to converse with them, and that they are consequently reasonably good at it.

Last edited by Princhester; 05-03-2010 at 06:40 AM.
  #66  
Old 05-03-2010, 06:41 AM
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I am not a number... I am a free woman!
Queen in the Village: "One is not a number!"

This thread reminds me of something - might have been a (rather odd) Trivial Pursuit question and answer, although I am not certain on this point, nor on the exact wording of the question:
Q: "When the Queen Mother calls the Queen, how is she put through?"
A: "Your Majesty, Her Majesty. Your Majesty".

(Obviously the question dates from a time when Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother was alive.)

If this is in any way accurate, it implies that even close relatives don't (or didn't, at that time) ring straight through to the monarch, but were forwarded by a secretary, who would ensure that both parties knew when they were connected and whom they were talking to.
  #67  
Old 05-03-2010, 08:31 AM
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Except that she probably means it in good humour. She is quite likely playing on the belief of the people with her that she is very important....
Exactly. I should've made clear, it's just a deadpan joke of hers. I think it's hilarious.
  #68  
Old 05-03-2010, 11:37 AM
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Thiz is Liz.
  #69  
Old 05-03-2010, 02:09 PM
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Queen in the Village: "One is not a number!"
I thought one was the loneliest number.

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Thiz is Liz.
Shouldn't that be "Thiz iz Liz"?
  #70  
Old 05-03-2010, 02:29 PM
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"is" already uses a "z" sound at the end, so creative misspelling wasn't really necessary. Though I guess there's some esthetic appeal to seeing it written that way.
  #71  
Old 05-03-2010, 02:34 PM
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I image she has a special top secret line for friends & family, complete with caller i.d. She probably says "Hello."
"This had better be important, Charles."
  #72  
Old 05-03-2010, 07:31 PM
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Exactly. I should've made clear, it's just a deadpan joke of hers. I think it's hilarious.
I agree, and it's a shame that her wicked sense of humour doesn't get more public airtime.
  #73  
Old 05-03-2010, 07:37 PM
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This is the best I could do: http://www.nytimes.com/1995/10/29/wo...ho-s-this.html. I've read elsewhere that the Queen took it in good humor when she spoke to the very apologetic Canadian PM later, joking, "I thought your voice sounded slightly different, but I thought it might just have been because you were drunk."
One particularly interesting part of this particular prank was that it was conducted partly in French. The Queen speaks fluent French (she's addressed the Canadian parliament and French senate in French) and when the DJ suggested they switch to French, she simply rapped out, "Bon, allez."
  #74  
Old 05-03-2010, 08:03 PM
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Yes, she doesn't use Foreign Office translators when her visitors speak French. She's quite fluent, by all accounts.
  #75  
Old 05-03-2010, 09:51 PM
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It seems most logical that since she knows who is calling, she would answer with, "Hello <insert person's name.>"

However, what if she is called by someone else (an operator or something) before being patched through? I think "Hello?" would be most likely, or "What is it?"
  #76  
Old 05-03-2010, 09:57 PM
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Her voicemail did, for a while.

William and Harry change Grandma's voicemail
Nice!

Let's be honest. If the Queen were your Grandmother, it'd be hard not to mess with her voice mail.
  #77  
Old 10-28-2012, 08:00 AM
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Yes, I'm bumping a zombie thread, with a question asked in 2009, to alert y'all that this question is now addressed by Elendil's Heir in a Staff Report that is planned to appear this coming Tuesday (30-Oct-2012)

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/...swer-the-phone

Congratulations, Kimmy_Gibbler! And congrats, Elendil's Heir on nagging TPTB sufficiently to get a Staff Report issued!
  #78  
Old 10-28-2012, 09:01 AM
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I have it on good authority from a man in the pub that all Her Maj's most important messages are delivered by trained homing corgis.
  #79  
Old 10-28-2012, 06:17 PM
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[QUOTE=Guinastasia;11076203]If she has a cellphone, one wonders what her ringtone is-well, besides, "God Save the Queen" or "Rule Britannia". I shudder to think how Phillip probably answers the phone.



Wrong Albert*[/QUOTE ]



Anecdotal, but she does have a cell phone.. I read a story where the pilot of her aircraft had to respectfully request her to stop using her phone during take off, (Possibly not so respectfully ,)

:
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Old 10-28-2012, 06:34 PM
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  #81  
Old 10-28-2012, 06:39 PM
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I still maintain she answers the phone:
"Queen here, who's there?"
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  #82  
Old 10-28-2012, 06:51 PM
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I'm thinking that only a small handful of people very close to her actually get to speak with her at all. Everyone else would be directed toward some other relevant person. So she might say, after the caller is identified to her, "Hello, Philip" or Hello, Charles."
Or (in subzero British tones) "William."
  #83  
Old 10-28-2012, 07:19 PM
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Yes, I'm bumping a zombie thread, with a question asked in 2009, to alert y'all that this question is now addressed by Elendil's Heir in a Staff Report that is planned to appear this coming Tuesday (30-Oct-2012)

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/...swer-the-phone

Congratulations, Kimmy_Gibbler! And congrats, Elendil's Heir on nagging TPTB sufficiently to get a Staff Report issued!
Congratulations to all involved! Very neat.
  #84  
Old 10-28-2012, 08:17 PM
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Congratulations to all involved! Very neat.
I'll add my congratulations. It was a great question, Kimmy; and an informative column, Elendil's Heir!
  #85  
Old 10-28-2012, 09:05 PM
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"Halloo, 'Get more cash from K-ROX, number one all-rock station in the Las Vegas area,' this is the Queen speaking..."

Last edited by Horatio Hellpop; 10-28-2012 at 09:06 PM.
  #86  
Old 10-28-2012, 09:37 PM
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Many thanks to Kimmy for asking the question in the first place, to Northern Piper for his help with the Canadian DJ, and to Ed Zotti, TubaDiva and C K Dexter Haven for helping bring the column to publication. I'm much obliged to you all.
  #87  
Old 10-28-2012, 10:20 PM
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Yes, I'm bumping a zombie thread, with a question asked in 2009, to alert y'all that this question is now addressed by Elendil's Heir in a Staff Report that is planned to appear this coming Tuesday (30-Oct-2012)

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/...swer-the-phone

Congratulations, Kimmy_Gibbler! And congrats, Elendil's Heir on nagging TPTB sufficiently to get a Staff Report issued!
My compliments to Elendil's Heir, it is a thorough report! I suppose my hopes (and Polycarp's) that it would have been "Oi, this is Brenda!" was probably a little too glib .... but good on the princes for recording "Wassup, this is Liz."

Last edited by Kimmy_Gibbler; 10-28-2012 at 10:21 PM.
  #88  
Old 03-20-2018, 10:00 AM
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Exactly. I should've made clear, it's just a deadpan joke of hers. I think it's hilarious.
Bumped.

Here's more on the Queen's sense of humor: https://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/Q...ontent=link_16
  #89  
Old 03-20-2018, 10:57 AM
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She has, or had, occasional lunches for a mixture of people she wouldn't otherwise meet informally. I've seen it reported that one guest was a trades union leader with a bit of a firebrand reputation, and on that day it was in the papers that he'd had to settle a dispute on worse terms than he'd been holding out for; at the lunch, a particularly crispy piece of roast potato escaped his fork and shot off the table, only for a corgi to waddle over to it, sniff at it and walk away without touching it. And the Queen said "Oh dear, Mr........ - not your day, is it?"

And one that was in a TV documentary about her working year: at a reception for a Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting, not long after the first Iraq war (after the invasion of Kuwait), she was with a group of assorted politicians that included Edward Heath, the former Prime Minister and famous sulker at being ejected years earlier in favour of Margaret Thatcher. He was holding forth in his usual rather pompous manner about the run-up to the war when Saddam Hussein was holding a number of British people more or less hostage, and Heath had gone to Baghdad to try and get him to release them: "I was the only one who went, you know, no-one else would go". "Oh," laughed the Queen merrily, "but you were dispensable". You can imagine his face.....
  #90  
Old 03-21-2018, 02:54 AM
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When Martin McGuinness, Sinn Fein politician and former IRA commander, met the Queen it was a very big deal.

It was widely reported at the time that the formal dinner included ice cream bombe. Hard to imagine Her Maj not having a chuckle at that as she approved the menu.
  #91  
Old 03-21-2018, 06:17 AM
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Personal-ish anecdote.

My parents have met the Queen on a couple of occasions (mainly because they work in the equestrian world). At one drinks reception, they witnessed one of their friends rush into the room and almost barge into the Queen. In a flustered state, she mumbled 'Oh, sorry Ma'am, I've lost my husband', to which the Queen replied 'lucky you!'.
  #92  
Old 03-21-2018, 07:00 AM
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This is the conversation with the Quebec radio DJ pretending to be the Canadian prime minister:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFFhc3XZDw

The Queen does, in fact, pick up the phone and say "hello" like anybody else. The fake PM says "hello" in return, after which she says "Ah, prime minister". No special protocol, just a normal telephone conversation.
  #93  
Old 03-21-2018, 07:45 PM
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This is the conversation with the Quebec radio DJ pretending to be the Canadian prime minister:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFFhc3XZDw

The Queen does, in fact, pick up the phone and say "hello" like anybody else. The fake PM says "hello" in return, after which she says "Ah, prime minister". No special protocol, just a normal telephone conversation.
Well, it does mean that she has already been told who is on the line. Which in turn means that she doesn't need to tell the caller who she is, because the caller has already been told that he is being put through to her.
  #94  
Old 03-21-2018, 08:15 PM
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I would guess that the operator, after letting the queen know who the caller is, brings the caller on-line and announces that he is now on the line with her. If I had the money, that's what I would do.
This stands out as the best answer IMO.

It's formal, but not unnecessarily involved.
It strikes me as old fashioned, and appropriate like a personal introduction.

And it seems I've heard this on old TV shows.
Like maybe, Bewitched. Think of an important client calling Larry or Darren.
  #95  
Old 03-24-2020, 10:44 AM
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Bumped, as the column is back on the Straight Dope homepage: https://www.straightdope.com/columns...wer-the-phone/
  #96  
Old 03-24-2020, 11:25 AM
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She probably does say something boring like "This is Her Majesty."
Shouldn't that be "This is My Majesty"? (Or "This is Our Majesty" when she's feeling dynamic.)
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Old 03-24-2020, 02:03 PM
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"Oi, ews 'is then?"
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  #98  
Old 03-24-2020, 03:04 PM
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Since there is a Staff Report on this now (which did not exist when this thread was created), let's move this from GQ to Comments on Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports.
  #99  
Old 03-24-2020, 03:21 PM
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How many hundreds of times have we told newbys to include a link when their post refers to a published report?

And now an experienced moderator forgets to do so? I blame it on that Covid-19 virus.
  #100  
Old 03-24-2020, 03:31 PM
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The link is in Elendil's Heir's post, three posts up from mine. Seemed silly to post it again.

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