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  #201  
Old 03-01-2020, 08:31 PM
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resolved - I will no longer hate Trump supporters
I pit the South


Well, you gotta hate somebody.
  #202  
Old 03-02-2020, 05:05 AM
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Joker gets 11 Oscar Nominations. I still say it sucked.
Your top-3 needle drops in movies


I'd say that's more of a "hot take" than a "needle drop".
  #203  
Old 03-02-2020, 07:20 AM
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How concerned are you about this Coronavirus?
Interacting with son's best friend's dad


Don't do it! You could catch Coronavirus!
  #204  
Old 03-02-2020, 09:02 AM
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Misread thread titles
Paltrow introduces vagina scented candle


That's VINEGAR scented candle, you dolt
  #205  
Old 03-02-2020, 11:04 PM
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When you were a new mother...
How did you learn to change a baby?


YouTube, just like Momma and Grandma.
  #206  
Old 03-02-2020, 11:05 PM
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Darn, beaten to the punch.
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Cigarettes are like squirrels. They're perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Last edited by Hopeful Crow; 03-02-2020 at 11:06 PM.
  #207  
Old 03-03-2020, 08:01 AM
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James Lipton dies at 93.
Recommend a tea for me


Pour a Lipton out for your dead homie.
  #208  
Old 03-03-2020, 08:27 AM
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Dear Pancho: (My sick, sick, sick right kidney) Let's talk!


You ok?






Who wants some Gif peanut butter?

It's a secret! Don't tell!!
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"

Last edited by CalMeacham; 03-03-2020 at 08:27 AM.
  #209  
Old 03-03-2020, 12:48 PM
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Early spring air out?

Smells that trigger memories
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #210  
Old 03-04-2020, 08:21 AM
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Assessing the progress of the #MeToo movement
Roman Polanski Redux


Now we realize what he did was wrong.
  #211  
Old 03-04-2020, 09:06 AM
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What do you feed your dog?
Are children some kind of pure state?


Pure or purée?

(Yes, straight to hell for that one)
  #212  
Old 03-04-2020, 04:03 PM
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OK, we all know clowns are creepy, but...
Ever go to Facebook jail?


Cause the clowns are really creepy in Facebook jail!
  #213  
Old 03-04-2020, 08:42 PM
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OK, we all know clowns are creepy, but...
US Signs peace accord with Taliban


It's amazing how many mullahs came piling out of that tiny car...
  #214  
Old 03-05-2020, 02:25 PM
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On introducing a kitten to a litter.
Why are you here?
  #215  
Old 03-06-2020, 08:31 AM
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Where's davidm? In the hospital recovering from a medical screwup. (Multi-page thread 1 2 3)
Guys wearing their belt buckle off-center


Details about the medical screwup? Please, no, TMI
  #216  
Old 03-06-2020, 12:02 PM
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Were you nursed?
Experiment I'd like to see (what are yours?)


Just typical of the Dope to say that!
  #217  
Old 03-06-2020, 02:42 PM
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Can Postmodern Architecture ever be timeless?
On My Block.


Elsewhere, maybe, but all the stuff on your block will be forgotten.
  #218  
Old 03-06-2020, 05:21 PM
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OK, we all know clowns are creepy, but...
No returns


Amazon customer service has gone way downhill.
  #219  
Old 03-07-2020, 10:47 AM
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If you need a new CPAP machine....

Why are you here?




Yeah!

You should be out getting your new CPAP machine!
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"

Last edited by CalMeacham; 03-07-2020 at 10:47 AM.
  #220  
Old 03-08-2020, 09:54 AM
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How concerned are you about this new Coronavirus?
Is passing gas while using a urinal considered acceptable in your neck of the woods?


Nope, that's a known danger sign. Better quarantine the men's room immediately.
  #221  
Old 03-09-2020, 10:09 PM
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Questions for Baby Boomer and Gen X Dopers - about the '90s
Why stock up on bottled water?


After living through Beanie Babies, chat rooms and Sunny Delight, you realize it's essential to to keep ample survival supplies on hand.
  #222  
Old 03-10-2020, 08:31 AM
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Television Tax/Fee/whatever it's called in Britain
The Atomic Hand Grenade


"And now, as you've not paid your telly fee, the atomic hand grenade on the top of your set will now explode"
"'ow'd he know about the atomic..." BOOM!
  #223  
Old 03-10-2020, 08:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludovic View Post
Television Tax/Fee/whatever it's called in Britain
The Atomic Hand Grenade


"And now, as you've not paid your telly fee, the atomic hand grenade on the top of your set will now explode"
"'ow'd he know about the atomic..." BOOM!
It was a lucky guess.
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #224  
Old 03-10-2020, 09:53 AM
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Do you think there is alot of pressure on people to learn to drive?
The British are coming! (Boston travel advice)


Do NOT try to drive in Boston. I grew up there. The natives drive like maniacs.
  #225  
Old 03-10-2020, 11:41 AM
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Stupid liberal idea of the day
Monica Lewinski, slut or victim ?
Stupid Republican idea of the day
Woody Allen Is A Scumbag (rant)


/Homer Simpson voice/: He did it because he's stupid. That's the only reason anybody does anything.
  #226  
Old 03-10-2020, 12:23 PM
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What’s the purpose of this door hinge arrangement?
Weather Forecasting ?


If the hinge is wet, it's raining. If the door is moving back and forth, it's windy.
  #227  
Old 03-10-2020, 12:24 PM
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dupe

Last edited by Ludovic; 03-10-2020 at 12:25 PM.
  #228  
Old 03-10-2020, 04:19 PM
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what to do to protect from corona
The Atomic Hand Grenade


This coronavirus thing is definitely getting out of hand.
  #229  
Old 03-11-2020, 07:21 AM
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More 'Southernisms'
best stock movement analysis sources?


That's a Southernism for "cattle tracking tag".
  #230  
Old 03-11-2020, 07:45 AM
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Dear Pancho: (My sick, sick, sick right kidney) Let's talk!

Amputation




Do you call it "amputation" if it's internal?
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #231  
Old 03-11-2020, 01:46 PM
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Could we PLEASE eliminate shaking hands: forever???
" It is polite fiction that we consider adopted children to be equal to biological children. "
  #232  
Old 03-11-2020, 02:34 PM
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Go to first new post 5-minute epoxy: max temp reached while curing?
What is the holdup with test kits in the USA?


They're waiting for the epoxy to cool down on the model airplane kit. You could touch it, but it would hurt like a model Fokker.
  #233  
Old 03-12-2020, 06:29 AM
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Coronavirus - what do YOU intend to do differently?
Poll: What is your main coronavirus concern?
How will coronavirus change society?
Words that have suddenly become very popular
  #234  
Old 03-12-2020, 10:43 AM
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What are stories of incidents where someone got the wrong end of the stick?
Amputation


This one has me stumped
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dogbutler-Not an ax murderer!
I hang out with the Cool kids
  #235  
Old 03-12-2020, 04:47 PM
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Australian government handling of coronavirus travel restrictions
Amputation


THAT'S not an injury ... WHACK ... THIS is an injury!
  #236  
Old 03-12-2020, 07:19 PM
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Coronavirus, Sick Leave, and the Gig Economy
Is the US doing enough to slow the spread of Covid-19? (public health)
Why is there still a terrible stigma to being a virgin nowadays?
Stock Markets, Tariffs, Coronavirus
Unanticipated aspects of a pandemic
Won’t corona virus be with us forever?


One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
  #237  
Old 03-12-2020, 08:46 PM
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what to do to protect from corona
Is this simple flip-phone secure?


Don't pass it around at raves, and you should be fine.
  #238  
Old 03-12-2020, 09:22 PM
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buttering corn on the cob

"How did anyone think that was a good idea?"

Because it's delicious?
  #239  
Old 03-13-2020, 09:30 AM
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what to do to protect from corona
Did cowboys really duel each other?


"Git away from that bottle of disinfectant." "I saw it first!"

BLAM BLAM BLAM
  #240  
Old 03-13-2020, 10:01 AM
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displaying my craft
"How did anyone think that was a good idea?"
  #241  
Old 03-13-2020, 03:27 PM
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"Sex with me is like Covid19: . . ."

How are you personally affected by the Corona Virus?

More Jokes
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #242  
Old 03-14-2020, 10:10 AM
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I've seen fire and I've seen...
Went to Costco This Morning....


The 2020 Baby Wipes Riot will always be seared into my memory.
  #243  
Old 03-14-2020, 04:38 PM
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Probability of a global depression happening
Stopping this thing is hopeless (COVID-19)


Looks like one of us is already depressed
  #244  
Old 03-14-2020, 07:04 PM
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Your pandemic playlist

Ever know a Deadhead that only listened to the Dead
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #245  
Old 03-15-2020, 11:57 AM
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UK attacked France in 1940 in WW 2
This is Why We Have No Hand Sanitizer
  #246  
Old 03-15-2020, 12:07 PM
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Words that have suddenly become very popular

Vegas, Baby
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #247  
Old 03-16-2020, 02:38 PM
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US national lockdown coming...as early as Tuesday
I will never use Travelocity again
  #248  
Old 03-17-2020, 04:54 AM
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Entertaining yourself while staying inside- recommendations?
Vegas, Baby


Technically, a casino is "inside".
  #249  
Old 03-17-2020, 08:31 AM
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Being banned from forums.
Other forums.


Not this forum! God, no! Other forums.
  #250  
Old 03-17-2020, 11:35 AM
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Right now, in MPSIPMS:

How are you personally affected by the Corona Virus?
Atlantic City Casinos shutting down
Any good news re: COVID-19? ( 1 2)
Coronavirus Having a Negative Impact on Blood Donations
Coronavirus--I don't get it.[hoarding toilet paper]
Coronavirus is going to make Americans EVEN MORE LONELY
Coronavirus COVID-19 (2019-nCoV) Thread - Breaking News
COVID-19 closures, postponements and cancellation


That's an 8-fer run.

Last edited by ftg; 03-17-2020 at 11:36 AM.
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