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Old 03-14-2020, 07:52 PM
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Idiosyncratic verging on neurotic things you do with your food


The pepperoni slices on a frozen pizza have to be spaced equally apart, so that when it's cut up, there'll be a close-to-equal amount of pep on each slice. To insure this I'll not only rearrange the loose pep slices but will also use a paring knife to carefully wedge its way under each still-frozen-to-the-pizza slice with small, twisty motions to slowly disnegage the slice, HOPEFULLY FULLY INTACT, to be lovingly relocated to the correct forever-home region on the pizza.
Whatevs with the SO's cocked eyebrow.

It's ok to anthropomorphize food here.
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Old 03-14-2020, 07:56 PM
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Nothing in my adult life, I don't think. But I vaguely remember when I was a kid, always eating the Lucky Charms marshmallows in a particular order.
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Old 03-14-2020, 07:57 PM
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I only eat one food item at a time, from my plate. It drives people bat-crap crazy. And I don't know why.

I have several food fetishes. It stems from being on a restricted diet my whole life.
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Old 03-15-2020, 01:09 AM
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I don't know if it's neurotic, but it drives my guy crazy. If we have meatloaf and mashed po, I chop up the meatloaf and mix it all up together with the gravy. Same with the beans and rice when we have Mexican food.
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Old 03-15-2020, 02:21 AM
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due to the now nonexistent Parkview middle school's way of preparing alleged food .... I pretty much eat bbq sauce on 90% of everything i eat ...... even things like mashed potatoes and the like I mean you never used the ketchup packets because it was last years frozen leftovers the only thing they didn't freeze was the bbq sauce and ranch dressing ..... which was in big plastic gallon jars with pumps on the top

one of the reasons it closed was the dozen or so health department violations over its food one of my classmates were served a thawed out cheeseburger that was so old it was green ..... and it wasn't the first or last time (the other reason was the fed education said it needed about a 30 million dollar gut and rebuild and the district said hell no so they sold it to a budding junior university thing who find it for 90 percent cheaper than what the gov estimated )

Last edited by nightshadea; 03-15-2020 at 02:24 AM.
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Old 03-15-2020, 02:41 AM
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Because they are no longer the right coloros, I really don't eat M&Ms as I used to and only eat them if my husband has some. I don't eat the blue ones.

When I did eat them often, I would sort them out, brown, tan, orange, yellow, green. I would then eat the color which had the fewest items, so green, then yellow, orange, tan and then brown. This is pre-1987 when they brought back red.

If it has layers, I will eat it layer by layer. Lasagna, Kit-Kat, cinnamon rolls, etc. My husband thinks it's cute.

I will often flip pumpkin pie upside down and eat the crust first. If I remember, I might put a bit of salt on the pumpkin pie. The salt is from my paternal grandfather who always did this. The flipping the pie? No idea. I think that's just me. And the crust is good. At least if it's one made by my mom or me.

I also salt watermelon and other melons. I do not have a blood pressure problem. My mom has major problems with low blood pressure and has to add salt to her diet, especially if she's somewhere hot where she drinks a lot more than usual.
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Old 03-15-2020, 05:09 AM
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I prefer just one kind of glass for gin and tonics. They're often served in "goblet" glasses (rounded and with a stem) which I don't like but will accept if there's nothing else. In any case, I always ask about the glass when I order. I favor a big stemless glass, like a pint glass for drinking beer, but with a wider base. I really don't care for those "goblet" glasses. Stem just gets in the way and makes the drink top-heavy (especially after a few of 'em), and its design seems intended to keep liquid in the glass rather than to facilitate its transfer.
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Old 03-15-2020, 05:39 AM
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When eating oranges or grapefruit, the fruit must be peeled and all of the segments separated from each other before I will eat any of them.

When eating pancakes and sunny side up eggs, the eggs go underneath the cakes so that the yolk soaks up into the cakes. I've seen too many people place the eggs on top of the cakes which just interferes with syrup distribution.
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Old 03-15-2020, 06:42 AM
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I can only drink milk from a ceramic mug or opaque plastic cup. I don't know why clear glasses and cups bother me, but they do.

I prefer to use a handful of bowls for any of the various foods that get eaten in bowls. Not to the point where I won't eat if they're dirty, but to the point where I'll bitch a bit if I'm not the one who dirtied them.
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Old 03-15-2020, 07:36 AM
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M & Ms get made into a palindromic color line and then eaten either from one end or as a matching pair from both ends.

Lucky Charms: separate the Charms from the cereal. I usually eat the Charms first, then the cereal.
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Old 03-15-2020, 07:54 AM
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For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the crust end first, then work my way to the point. After all, the point is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!
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Old 03-15-2020, 08:00 AM
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I never knew that M&Ms were a food with so many requirements. I eat them two at a time, and they must be the same color (until the end when there's one of every color, then it becomes pure chaos.)
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Old 03-15-2020, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the crust end first, then work my way to the point. After all, the point is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!
For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the pointy end first, then work my way to the crust. After all, the crust is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!

I also don't like anything to hang over the edge of the bread in a sandwich. I'll fold or sometimes cut the meat/cheese to make it fit more exactly. Lettuce gets a larger margin of error. But I'm not fanatical about it, and I would never alter a sandwich made for me by someone else.

Last edited by Bayaker; 03-15-2020 at 10:01 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 03-15-2020, 10:00 AM
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Come on, guys. Everybody eats M&Ms weird. M&M-eating does not come under the specifications of the OP.
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Old 03-15-2020, 12:01 PM
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Fascinating. Almost morbidly so.

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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Come on, guys. Everybody eats M&Ms weird. M&M-eating does not come under the specifications of the OP.
Concurred.
Never been a nibbler of said product, but understand and sympathize with the effed-up parameters associated with variances in its consumption.

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Originally Posted by Bayaker View Post
I also don't like anything to hang over the edge of the bread in a sandwich. I'll fold or sometimes cut the meat/cheese to make it fit more exactly. Lettuce gets a larger margin of error. But I'm not fanatical about it, and I would never alter a sandwich made for me by someone else.
If there's crap extending over the edges of a hamburger, I'll mow all that off, first.

When eating a banana, which I haven't done in possibly 15 years (taste is ok, but why oh why is it the only foodstuff on the enitre planet that gives me heartburn? Why!?!?!?!?) if there any "threads", they get pulled off.

Any burnt edges on toast get snipped off. (someone said that the charcoal from burnt food is extremely carcinogenic - could be apocryphal, for all I know, but still do it, anyway.)

(oh - and only Don Cherry is supposed to eat a pizza slice from the crust, first.)
  #16  
Old 03-15-2020, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Die Capacitrix View Post
When I did eat them often, I would sort them out, brown, tan, orange, yellow, green. I would then eat the color which had the fewest items, so green, then yellow, orange, tan and then brown. This is pre-1987 when they brought back red.
I was coming to mention something similar to that--sorting colored candies into "sets" with one of each color.
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Old 03-15-2020, 02:14 PM
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I've got a wide and adventurous palate and would consider myself something of a food freak, but I've got a hangup on as far as appearance and texture of certain leafy greens. You know those cellophane bags of pre-fabricated salad? I'm so picky, and the "quality control" ( from my POV ) is so spotty, that there are times I'll discard as much as a third of the contents because I don't like the color or the leaves are to "vein-ey". For example, the outer leaves of Romaine lettuce make me skeeve, and I'd barf at having to chew and swallow it...and know that something like that....is....inside me!
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Old 03-15-2020, 02:19 PM
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#15: Don Cherry the jazz trumpet player? The guy in all the Ornette Coleman quartets? Tell us more.
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Old 03-15-2020, 02:23 PM
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I prefer just one kind of glass for gin and tonics. They're often served in "goblet" glasses (rounded and with a stem) ....
Well, that's just plain wrong.

When I'm eating a pile of something, whether on a plate or from the bag, like potato chips or bagel chips, I eat the broken pieces first and eventually only the whole pieces are left for me to savor.
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Old 03-15-2020, 03:07 PM
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Personally, I think that popcorn is unpleasantly like styrofoam. However, I am related to someone who feels that popcorn is best eaten when covered in tomato sauce, as though it were pasta. I am assured that this is perfectly normal, but I'm growing less and less sure of that as the years pass.

Back in the 1960s I remember that drinking glasses made from metal were not uncommon. I don't think I've seen one since the end of the 1970s. Anyway, I used to enjoy filling them with ice cream & strawberry jelly, then putting them into the freezer for a few hours. You could get your tongue stuck to the side very easily if you weren't careful... it's just not the same with glass.

A college friend enjoyed Dr. Pepper soda, but only if it was 1) Flat 2) Warm. He'd pour it from glass to glass to get all of the carbonation out.

One friend, now in his 90s, worked at a place that bottled soda before WWII. He would sometimes "accidentally" leave a case outside in the winter so that it would freeze, because he liked it frozen & flat. He still does. I gave him a few bottles of Green River soda the other week. He opened them & put them straight into his freezer.
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Old 03-15-2020, 03:11 PM
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If I'm drinking a bottle of something, the label has to be pointing away from me, like I was on a show with product placement. If I am drinking a soda out of a paper cup, the seam has to be under my fingers.

M & Ms are sorted by color and eaten one at a time in rotation. Any other way is Deviation and Heresy!
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Old 03-15-2020, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by DrForrester View Post
Personally, I think that popcorn is unpleasantly like styrofoam. However, I am related to someone who feels that popcorn is best eaten when covered in tomato sauce, as though it were pasta. I am assured that this is perfectly normal, but I'm growing less and less sure of that as the years pass.

....
Okay, that's not even remotely normal.


God, I'm imagining a Dopers' picnic, with me eating broken chips first, silenus twisting his bottles & cans around so the label is correct, BrickBat picking over the salad greens looking for rusty lettuce... and the M&Ms Holy crap! Feeding time at the zoo, amirite?
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Old 03-15-2020, 03:35 PM
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Animal crackers must be slaughtered humanely. I always bite the head off first.
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Old 03-15-2020, 04:07 PM
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not me personally but I knew someone who worked in a group home for kids who were severely autistic so they bought things in bulk....and i went shopping with her once and she painstakingly tried to buy things that we're all the same size and color when I asked why she said to wait until we get back

and when we did she opened up the cereal cabinet and showed me plastic containers of froot loops and fruity pebbles (!)sorted by color .... apparently it triggered quite a few of the residents to have them mixed up.....

Now fruity pebbles are about the size of rice Krispies .....she never bought them again as long as she worked there
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Old 03-15-2020, 04:51 PM
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Animal crackers must be slaughtered humanely. I always bite the head off first.
I have to keep them from running away, so, legs first.
  #26  
Old 03-15-2020, 05:53 PM
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Animal crackers must be slaughtered humanely. I always bite the head off first.


I did the same thing when I was a kid.

I usually get ONE too many ice cubes in the cup. So I'll grab one out of the cup, and back into the ice bin it goes.
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Old 03-15-2020, 06:10 PM
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Wow. You people are strange. I can't think of anything!

Perhaps when I eat an apple I always eat it the same way: first, around the equator, then the North Pole, and finally the south pole. Then I just nibble around the remaining flesh to clean it up.
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Old 03-15-2020, 06:38 PM
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Double post.

Last edited by Leaffan; 03-15-2020 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 03-15-2020, 07:07 PM
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I thought I didn't really have anything, either, but I thought of one.

(Before COVID-19,) I don't mind sharing food or drinks with people. If someone takes a bite off my plate or tastes my soup or has a sip of my drink, it doesn't bother me at all. Except... milk. I can't share it. If you take a sip of my milk, just keep it.
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Old 03-15-2020, 07:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the crust end first, then work my way to the point. After all, the point is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!
I do the same thing. If I'm eating a whole pizza in two sittings, I cut the crust off, all the way around, and save the middle for the second meal.

I also save the best for last with layer cake, eating the cake first, then the frosting. This can get rather creative.
  #31  
Old 03-15-2020, 09:10 PM
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My M&M style is sort of a game. I pour the little bag out onto a fresh piece of paper and leave them as they emerge. Then I eat them one by one in a way that reduces their randomness. If there's three browns and a green, I eat the green to leave a solid patch of brown. If there's a red between two blues, the red is downed first. The goal is that by continuously eliminating the odd one, I will eventually have a few separate groups of individual colors. At that point I eat them one of each color in order.

If I have two complementary items like cheese and bread, I will take advanced steps to make sure that one does not run out before the other. Things like cutting both items in half and then half again so that at worst the disparity will only affect one quarter of the food.

With mixes like chex mix, I eat the least favored parts like the pretzels first so that I can have the best stuff (the chex) all by itself at the end.

Pizza-wise, I always make sure that there's a little bit of "Middle" with each bite of crust so that I'm not having just bare crust. I do this with pop-tarts, too.
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  #32  
Old 03-15-2020, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Alpha Twit View Post
When eating oranges or grapefruit, the fruit must be peeled and all of the segments separated from each other before I will eat any of them.

When eating pancakes and sunny side up eggs, the eggs go underneath the cakes so that the yolk soaks up into the cakes. I've seen too many people place the eggs on top of the cakes which just interferes with syrup distribution.
Now I'm neurotic. I would NEVAH mix pancakes and eggs on the same plate. Dated a guy who did that. Exactly one time. (date, I mean)
  #33  
Old 03-16-2020, 12:26 AM
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#15: Don Cherry the jazz trumpet player? The guy in all the Ornette Coleman quartets? Tell us more.
Sorry, not that Don, no Art Farmer, no Micheal Ray. It was the somewhat-fallen-from-grace hockey icon, or, at least I thought it was, but I turned out to be horribly wrong. It was Ron.

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God, I'm imagining a Dopers' picnic, with me eating broken chips first...
Hm, 'picnic' is a bit of a trigger word for me.
(I'd might have to bow out.)

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Originally Posted by silenus View Post
If I'm drinking a bottle of something, the label has to be pointing away from me, like I was on a show with product placement.
This was truly my laugh-out-loud moment of the day. Thank-you. Partly because I can kinda relate to it, sort of, whenever I behold a thick-head-pour of Stella Artois in my SA glass with the legendary red and white SA logo actually facing me to constantly remind me of the grand elixir that it is.

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Originally Posted by Bayaker View Post
I also don't like anything to hang over the edge of the bread in a sandwich. I'll fold or sometimes cut the meat/cheese to make it fit more exactly.
Heh, to quote that again - I'm sure Mr. Tufnel sees where you're going, here.

Mushrooms need to get sweep-kicked, thrown into a headlock, and given good noo-gies, no matter what shape or form they come in.
I once engaged in intense psychological warfare with an Italian mother of an ex who thought I was undereating or something and took it upon herself to give me perhaps the largest serving of spaghetti I ever had, and immediately I espied the offending fungal foes, in all their white-brownish anti-glory.
As the meal went on, I didn't need to look up to feel her glare as I just HAD to oh-so-stealthily shuttle the gross little fucking things to the side of the plate, relegated to a perimeter of shame and effrontery. It was a vain effort to tactically pick those moments when she was, say, in a particularly animated exchange - I still always felt the Maltese falcon stare-down.
By the time I finished, there was almost a three-quaters circle around my plate's perimeter of the slimy blotches, and yeah she wasn't too big on that, for sure. When she asked if I had allergies and I said no she said the only Maltese phrase to her daughter that night, and I'm like, Oh great.
It never quite worked out again, having another dinner there.
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Old 03-16-2020, 01:30 AM
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MrsRico thinks me strange to spoon-spank hot foods like stew, oatmeal, menudo, cioppino, paella, etc. But these MUST be properly disciplined. Get DOWN, little gumbo!

Long ago, Safeway's bad, cheap beer IIRC was Scotch Pride in 11 ounce bottles. Each bottle NEEDED a couple drops of anise tincture. Try it out.
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Old 03-16-2020, 04:56 AM
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...Well, that's just plain wrong...
It's been a trend for several years now. Google "gin and tonic glass" and you'll see.
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Old 03-16-2020, 06:20 AM
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When my kids were growing up, I found they could feed themselves easier if I quartered their sandwhiches. I would quarter mine as well, so they wouldn't feel they were being babied.

Then, the first time my gf was out to eat with me and my kids, she cracked up laughing. She had previously noticed me cutting my burger or Rueben into quarters, and now she saw me, my son, and my daughter each doing it without realizing it was odd.
  #37  
Old 03-16-2020, 06:32 AM
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I don't know if this qualifies, but I eat my hamburgers upside down. But there's a reason! The "top" bun is usually a lot thicker than the bottom bun, so if you flip the burger over, it's less likely to collapse on you.
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Old 03-16-2020, 07:49 AM
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A couple of habits:

When eating out, I always taste a side dish before the main item.

I save the last bit of the favorite item on my plate for last.

When I'm done eating, I always drink some water/seltzer.
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  #39  
Old 03-16-2020, 07:54 AM
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When I was a kid I would carefully perform surgery on meat to cut out pretty much anything that wasn't obviously muscle. Everyone else would be done long before I even started actually eating.

I don't do it anymore, but I still kind of have the urge to.
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Old 03-16-2020, 08:28 AM
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I have color hang-ups.



I like foods to be nice colors like brown , yellow, or white. Green is good as long as it's the food's natural color. Red is on a case-by-case basis. Blue is right out.


It's basically food coloring I have an issue with. I saw this IHOP commercial about cereal pancakes, and nearly vomited. If someone was eating something like that in my presence I would have to leave.
  #41  
Old 03-16-2020, 08:32 AM
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I don't know if this qualifies, but I eat my hamburgers upside down. But there's a reason! The "top" bun is usually a lot thicker than the bottom bun, so if you flip the burger over, it's less likely to collapse on you.
That's just common sense. Besides, the bottom bun is often too soggy and you need the still-solid top bun to hold up the burger.
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Old 03-16-2020, 08:41 AM
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My daughter has always eaten dessert via increasingly smaller bites, kind of a Zeno's paradox sort of situation. It kind of makes sense, savoring dessert, and allows me to linger over coffee when we eat together.
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Old 03-16-2020, 12:28 PM
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See, this thread is one of the reasons I love you people.
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Originally Posted by Guest-starring: Id! View Post
...Mushrooms need to get sweep-kicked, thrown into a headlock, and given good noo-gies, no matter what shape or form they come in.
I once engaged in intense psychological warfare with an Italian mother of an ex who thought I was undereating or something and took it upon herself to give me perhaps the largest serving of spaghetti I ever had, and immediately I espied the offending fungal foes, in all their white-brownish anti-glory.
As the meal went on, I didn't need to look up to feel her glare as I just HAD to oh-so-stealthily shuttle the gross little fucking things to the side of the plate, relegated to a perimeter of shame and effrontery. It was a vain effort to tactically pick those moments when she was, say, in a particularly animated exchange - I still always felt the Maltese falcon stare-down.
By the time I finished, there was almost a three-quaters circle around my plate's perimeter of the slimy blotches, and yeah she wasn't too big on that, for sure. When she asked if I had allergies and I said no she said the only Maltese phrase to her daughter that night, and I'm like, Oh great.
It never quite worked out again, having another dinner there.
This was beautiful. <Wipes tears of laughter away>
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Originally Posted by RioRico View Post
MrsRico thinks me strange to spoon-spank hot foods like stew, oatmeal, menudo, cioppino, paella, etc. But these MUST be properly disciplined. Get DOWN, little gumbo!....
This one, too. "Spoon-spank"?? I'm going to be working that into most conversations from now on.
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Originally Posted by jerez View Post
It's been a trend for several years now. Google "gin and tonic glass" and you'll see.
That doesn't make it right. I'm a card-carrying Old Fogey now and oppose most "trends" on principle.
  #44  
Old 03-16-2020, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
When my kids were growing up, I found they could feed themselves easier if I quartered their sandwhiches. I would quarter mine as well, so they wouldn't feel they were being babied.

Then, the first time my gf was out to eat with me and my kids, she cracked up laughing. She had previously noticed me cutting my burger or Rueben into quarters, and now she saw me, my son, and my daughter each doing it without realizing it was odd.
Oh, yes, sandwiches taste best when cut into four little triangles.
  #45  
Old 03-17-2020, 10:07 AM
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When eating candy corn, I first bite off the yellow base and eat it, followed by the orange center, then save the choice white tip for last.

I separate a handful of M&Ms by color, then eat the smallest number first, then the next smallest, and so on.

Pizza of course I start from the crust and save the pointy end for last. I bite so that I save the meatier parts for later.

Spaghetti and meatballs are properly eaten so that you finish about half the pasta first so that the last part is mostly meatballs.
  #46  
Old 03-20-2020, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Tarataratara View Post
Oh, yes, sandwiches taste best when cut into four little triangles.
I haven't thought about Club Sandwiches in quite a while, I'll have to address that in July.
  #47  
Old 03-20-2020, 09:26 AM
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I order the Club Sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

How'd it start anyway?

I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread. So do I! Well let's form a club then. Alright, but we need more stipulations. Yes we do; instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, and we will position them into a circle. In the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for 'em! Well this club is formed; spread the word on menus nationwide.

I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts. Well then you're not in the fuckin' club!

Mitch Hedberg, of course...
  #48  
Old 03-20-2020, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the crust end first, then work my way to the point. After all, the point is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayaker View Post
For both pizza and pies, I'll eat the pointy end first, then work my way to the crust. After all, the crust is the best part, so it gets saved for last - DUH!!
I eat pizza and pie slices sideways, to avoid the above contradiction. The crust gradually portioned out along with the rest.
  #49  
Old 03-20-2020, 10:17 AM
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Originally Posted by digs View Post
Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for 'em!
A trifecta! Decorative, utilitarian and safer...
  #50  
Old 03-20-2020, 11:48 AM
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I have a particular bowl that is meant for cereal only. No soup, no ice cream, only cereal. After going 7 years without the ability to have a delightful bowl of cereal, I freaked out when I couldn't locate it. Found it. Discovered I could no longer tolerate milk. But, ice cream is fine. It's now the official ice cream bowl.

I cannot tolerate ketchup ON my food or in a blob on my plate. Alongside, in a little ramekin, perfectly fine.

When my daughter moved out, I gave her the majority of our glasses. She asked why - I cannot stand the texture on my fingers. I don't know what it is, but most glasses just feel gross.

I'm also anti-shroom, anti-olives, anti-seafood, anti-lettuce hearts, and anti-any meats with bones still in them when served.
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