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Old 06-13-2019, 10:58 AM
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De-extinctify a species


As thanks for providing advanced aliens with up to date directions to the Horsehead Nebula (someone forgot to update the GalaxyNav), you have been given a single use disposable de-extictifier. If you choose to use it, one extinct species of your choosing will be resurrected.

The species will appear in numbers approximately that of the mid-point of the species' existence, so rather a lot of them may pop into existence. They will appear at ground level at the point of the planet they were found in, unless that is now water when they were land-dwelling or vice versa, in which case they will appear on the closest water/land as appropriate. If the environment is otherwise unsuited- wrong oxygen levels, too hot/cold/salty- they'll just re-extinctify in short order, unless someone manages to save a few (didn't think they'd given you the premium model, did you?)

The machine can't be copied; it's in a sealed box and any attempt to open it will trigger the combustion of the contents, leaving just a note saying 'This is part of the reason no other species want to talk to you'.

Do you use it? What would you bring back? I think I'm having Mammuthus creticus: Cretan mini-mammoths.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:07 AM
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I would hesitate because the historical results of introducing a species into a new area is not good. I'd leave well enough alone.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:07 AM
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Save it until the humpback whales go extinct, because I do NOT want to see Leonard Nimoy in swim trunks again.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:14 AM
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Spinosaurus aegyptiacus.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:16 AM
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Spinosaurus aegyptiacus.
Now that's the kind of irresponsible behaviour I was expecting
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:25 AM
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Quetzalcoatlus northropi

Maybe people would start looking up at the sky from time to time and not always have their mind stuck in a phone.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:32 AM
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Homo floresiensis. It's lonely being the only sophonts on the planet.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:33 AM
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I'd use it to bring back the Thylacine. I'd love to see one in person.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:34 AM
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Megalodon. Because humans don't belong in the ocean, and they need to be reminded.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:53 AM
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Sylphium
  #11  
Old 06-13-2019, 11:57 AM
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I'm just too pedestrian. I'd vote for sabre tooth tigers. Because they are just too cool.
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:58 AM
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The Coelacanth.

IT WORKED!
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Old 06-13-2019, 11:59 AM
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How does it work? Do you just type in the common name of the species? If so, let's be really optimistic and have a shot at "Unicorn".

This might just make other species like us a little better, too.

j
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:02 PM
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Gut reaction would be say the Irish Elk (Megaloceros giganteus) but pondering a little more I am leaning towards the Mammoth. Predators would be cool and a kick to hunt but I figure the populations in general would be safer with one of those two.
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:07 PM
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Wooly mammoth. I'd love to see a shit ton of those big buggers rampaging around Los Angeles.
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:13 PM
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Homo floresiensis. It's lonely being the only sophonts on the planet.
Uh, need more info on the de-extinctification. Do tens of thousands of (basically human) babies suddenly appear?
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:15 PM
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Probably something that shouldn't have gone extinct in the first damn place, like Ectopistes migratorius or Thylacinus cynocephalus.
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treppenwitz View Post
How does it work? Do you just type in the common name of the species? If so, let's be really optimistic and have a shot at "Unicorn".

This might just make other species like us a little better, too.

j
They've been making regular sneaky trips to Earth, building up a genetic database of everything and doing eco surveys for millions of years (a student project that got a bit out of hand), so it can come up with any species that actually existed.

It's all linked up to an exceptionally well organised database of current common and scientific names, so you can pretty well try any name, and mostly it can work out what you mean, showing multiple images if multiple species share a common name or the spelling's ambiguous. Instructions appear in your language, calibrated as best as it can for ease of use by you.

If it's not in the database or it can't work out what you mean, there's a selection of increasingly patronising error messages. I think asking for a unicorn would get one of the 'Well, bless your heart' level.

ETA: the organisms that pop into existence are a representative population, so a mix of adults and young for most species. You wouldn't just get 4,000,000,000 passenger pigeon eggs.

Last edited by Filbert; 06-13-2019 at 12:25 PM.
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:34 PM
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Neanderthals. Though if a bunch pop into existence, will they have fully formed memories, personalities, and senses of self? Better if we get some babies to raise as future NFL nose tackles.
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Old 06-13-2019, 12:35 PM
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Wooly mammoth. I'd love to see a shit ton of those big buggers rampaging around Los Angeles.
You wouldn't find any, though, as Los Angeles was not where they lived. You would probably prefer Mastodons.

I'm tempted to choose Aurochs, as they would probably the most boring of all extinct species to resurrect.
  #21  
Old 06-13-2019, 12:51 PM
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Mezozoic critters, mainly, so I can Dine in the land before Time, Moon 14!
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  #22  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:05 PM
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It may be wildly irresponsible, but I want to settle it once and for all - feathers or no feathers? De-extinctify yourself, T-Rex!
  #23  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:06 PM
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Now that's the kind of irresponsible behaviour I was expecting
Variola major.

Mwahahahahaha!!
  #24  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:09 PM
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You want irresponsible? How about the Rocky Mountain locust?
  #25  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:09 PM
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I'll go with the Moa, because the statue I saw in New Zealand looked really cool.
  #26  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:10 PM
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Passenger Pigeon, Tasmanian Tiger, Dodo, Giant Moa, basically anything that humans killed off, not creatures that were otherwise naturally selected against are fine by me.
  #27  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:11 PM
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Giant ground sloth. One of the largest land mammals ever, and it grew bone armor in it's skin.
  #28  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:25 PM
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I'd use it to bring back the Thylacine. I'd love to see one in person.
Yes, one of my top choices also, and it wouldn't upset the environment. There is a small possibility that it is still around.

I would ask for the Great Auk. I think Iceland would do a great job of protecting it.

The Dodo would be a decent choice, but I dont know how well Mauritius would do in protecting it.

Mammal? Stellers Sea Cow.
  #29  
Old 06-13-2019, 01:38 PM
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You wouldn't find any, though, as Los Angeles was not where they lived. You would probably prefer Mastodons.

I'm tempted to choose Aurochs, as they would probably the most boring of all extinct species to resurrect.
Right.

They have sorta back created the aurochs.
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Old 06-13-2019, 02:11 PM
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Mammoth, baby. It's a totem animal. Some of you know why.

Wishing for really ancient things? Be ready to see them die out from environmental disjunction. It's got to be able to function at an oxygen partial pressure around 20% or so. That leaves out a LOT of animals during different epochs.
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Old 06-13-2019, 02:35 PM
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Homo Sapiens. I would reserve the use until we go extinct. After that, a special mechanism would activate the De-extinctify.

This would involve a method of figuring out how to trigger it after we're gone. Like a dead man mechanism of some sort.
  #32  
Old 06-13-2019, 02:36 PM
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The oceans aren't terrifying enough so how about Dunkleosteus:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunkleosteus

That or Sea Scorpions.
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  #33  
Old 06-13-2019, 02:40 PM
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Homo Sapiens. I would reserve the use until we go extinct. After that, a special mechanism would activate the De-extinctify.
Humans are such fuck-ups that they'd just go extinct AGAIN.
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  #34  
Old 06-13-2019, 02:43 PM
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The great auk. Habitat is going to be a major problem for a lot of the current suggestions. There are issues with the ocean as well, but I think the auks would stand a much better chance of surviving long term than the mammoth.
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Old 06-13-2019, 02:46 PM
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The great auk. Habitat is going to be a major problem for a lot of the current suggestions. There are issues with the ocean as well, but I think the auks would stand a much better chance of surviving long term than the mammoth.
Yes, I agree, or the Tasmanian tiger aka thylacine.

Do you know that the Great Auk was the first "penguin"?
  #36  
Old 06-13-2019, 02:55 PM
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Mammoth, baby. It's a totem animal. Some of you know why.

Wishing for really ancient things? Be ready to see them die out from environmental disjunction. It's got to be able to function at an oxygen partial pressure around 20% or so. That leaves out a LOT of animals during different epochs.
I'm sort of hoping we might see mammoths de-extinctified in real life. Every so often someone digs one up with intact flesh and DNA. Replace the nucleus of an elephant egg with mammoth DNA, and maybe we could grow mammoths.

I don't think the science is quite up to it, yet, but it's not our of reach.

Of course, there will be issues with sad, lonely baby herd animals. So maybe it's a bad idea.
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Old 06-13-2019, 03:07 PM
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For the sake of the hypothetical I'll go pretty mundane with something that would be cool but not devastatingly disruptive--the Carolina parakeet.
  #38  
Old 06-13-2019, 03:26 PM
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My first thought was the Dodo, but they'd probably go extinct again in no time, like someone mentioned above.

So I'm gonna go with ivory-billed woodpecker.

Last edited by Rough Draft; 06-13-2019 at 03:27 PM. Reason: desire to not look stupid
  #39  
Old 06-13-2019, 03:45 PM
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You wouldn't find any, though, as Los Angeles was not where they lived. You would probably prefer Mastodons.
That's gonna be a big old shock to all the people who've pieced together and mounted multiple examples of the Columbian Mammoth from bones found in the tar pits at La Brea, which is indeed in Los Angeles. Heck, it's a big old shock to me considering I've been to the tar pits museum on multiple occasions and always have to spend quite a bit of time standing with the curved ends of the tusks of the 16 foot tall mammoth skeleton in the main hall pointed at either side of my head.
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Old 06-13-2019, 03:45 PM
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I think those giant ferns (or whichever plant species was the predominant organism responsible) that ended up becoming oil would be a good candidate. I donít know whether or not such a species could sequester enough CO2 to make a difference in fighting global warming, but it probably wouldnít hurt.
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Old 06-13-2019, 03:56 PM
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Variola major.

Mwahahahahaha!!
Techinically... it's not quite extinct...

Me, I'm sort of torn between the Carolina Parakeet, or the ivory-billed woodpecker a.k.a. "The Lord God Bird", the Neanderthals, one of the trilobite species....

There is just so much to choose from.

But today I'll say Carolina Parakeet.
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:12 PM
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In one of Arthur C Clarke's books, I forget which one, people in the future have brought back the passenger pigeon, and then find themselves annoyed by the noise of the flocks. Bit I'd revive them anyway.
  #43  
Old 06-13-2019, 04:24 PM
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Neanderthals. Though if a bunch pop into existence, will they have fully formed memories, personalities, and senses of self? Better if we get some babies to raise as future NFL nose tackles.
This.

How would we interact with this new ethnic group? Well, we would learn a lot about them that we don't know.

There's a suggestion their language skills didn't match ours... but they lived at a time when no humans had writing, so how can we possibly know that?
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:36 PM
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In one of Arthur C Clarke's books, I forget which one, people in the future have brought back the passenger pigeon, and then find themselves annoyed by the noise of the flocks. Bit I'd revive them anyway.
I dont think we have the huge hardwood forest habitat for them anymore.
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Old 06-13-2019, 05:14 PM
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The oceans aren't terrifying enough so how about Dunkleosteus:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunkleosteus

That or Sea Scorpions.
Yes, sea scorpions! Then I'll finally be able to figure out if they are edible.
  #46  
Old 06-13-2019, 05:45 PM
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I think those giant ferns (or whichever plant species was the predominant organism responsible) that ended up becoming oil would be a good candidate. I donít know whether or not such a species could sequester enough CO2 to make a difference in fighting global warming, but it probably wouldnít hurt.
Oil is thought to mainly be zooplankton and algae. You might be thinking of coal. And the plants didn't form coal beds due to any great CO2 sequestering capability, but because a) the climate and geography was such that great forested swamps covered huge areas, with plants and trees dropping into the swamp and not decaying due to anoxic conditions and b) bacteria not immediately catching up to evolve the ability to digest the newly evolved substancef "wood".
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Old 06-13-2019, 06:03 PM
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I say bring back baluchitheriums. Because elephants have been pretty arrogant and need to be taken down a notch.
  #48  
Old 06-13-2019, 06:11 PM
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Megalodon. Because humans don't belong in the ocean, and they need to be reminded.
Yeah this. Or, a milder version, we need to be reminded we aren't so big.
  #49  
Old 06-13-2019, 07:00 PM
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Passenger pigeon. Given the op’s rules, that’d be a truly insanely large number of birds. There is, sadly, not enough habitat for all of them. So, capitalism will provide the answer: I will open KFPP, a chain of restaurants which will apply 11 secrets herbs and spices to passenger pigeons, until numbers are down to a stable population.

Last edited by Isosleepy; 06-13-2019 at 07:01 PM.
  #50  
Old 06-13-2019, 07:04 PM
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Megalodon is a bad idea. It would lend credibility to the Discovery Channel, and from there it’s a small step to all the other cable nonsense.
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