#51  
Old 10-22-2013, 04:47 PM
Ranger Jeff is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 6,926
CMG, sorry my man, but you've been friendzoned and there's no escape. It sounds to me as if she really doesn't want a steady, permanent romantic relationship with a man. Other than you as a roommate with NO benefits. I think you should cut your losses and find someone who'll appreciate you. But this girl? She's your sister or your first cousin. It's not going to happen. And you really want to be around for the drama when boyfriend's babymama spawns and roommate gets the blame for ruining THEIR great love that should have lasted forever?

Me? I'd try to find another place to live an someone who could take over your remaining lease on the place. I don't think your landlord would mind that much if you broke your half of the lease if you had someone to take it over.
  #52  
Old 10-22-2013, 04:56 PM
Icarus's Avatar
Icarus is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: In front of my PC, y tu?
Posts: 5,394
First rule of holes - when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!
  #53  
Old 10-22-2013, 05:15 PM
YogSothoth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 14,000
Can you have pieces of her?
  #54  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:25 AM
CMG is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 24
Well ive come to a decision. the past few nights she has had hour long phone conversations in front of me with this guy and while there not explicit there pretty flirty to say the least. now she could go into her room and had these talks but she seems to be choosing to have them in front of me. roomate wise she needs me more then i need her. i make enough to live on my own and not have to break my lease. she not so much. I think she feels that i'd never have the balls to have her move out.
Anyway im sick of the whole situation and its not worth 650$ a month to be worried about all this nonsense. Obviously im too much of a puss to tell her this so ill just be so passive aggressive she'll be forced to move out. My feelings towards her have been changing the past few weeks and my attraction is finally turning towards never wanting to see or talk to her again.

I appreciate all the input for the most part. I'm in a new city and dont have many close friends and im glad at the very least i've had somewhere to vent. ill update in a few weeks about how it comes to an end. im guessing it'll be a shit show she is going to have to move back in with her friend which i know she isnt keen on.

thanks
chris

Last edited by CMG; 10-23-2013 at 12:26 AM.
  #55  
Old 10-23-2013, 04:14 AM
Locrian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Valley Village, CA
Posts: 4,394
Getting your own place might be the best instead of having her move out. Maybe you could save the passive aggressive part and tell her you got a new job? Maybe you tell her you need to move closer to it? Tell her you got a promotion or something like that. Find a new place, pay the rest of the month, maybe even let her have the security deposit so she'll have more time to find a new roommate? Plus, staying in the same place will only remind you of all this crazy nonsense.

These are all just suggestions, but showing her that you can move on might make her do the same.

Best of luck to you on this one.

Last edited by Locrian; 10-23-2013 at 04:17 AM.
  #56  
Old 10-23-2013, 08:17 AM
Telemark's Avatar
Telemark is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Just outside of Titletown
Posts: 23,191
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMG View Post
I think she feels that i'd never have the balls to have her move out.
She's right. You need to move out.
  #57  
Old 10-23-2013, 08:35 AM
Sparky812 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Great White North
Posts: 4,696
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMG View Post
Well ive come to a decision. the past few nights she has had hour long phone conversations in front of me with this guy and while there not explicit there pretty flirty to say the least. now she could go into her room and had these talks but she seems to be choosing to have them in front of me. roomate wise she needs me more then i need her. i make enough to live on my own and not have to break my lease. she not so much. I think she feels that i'd never have the balls to have her move out.
Anyway im sick of the whole situation and its not worth 650$ a month to be worried about all this nonsense. Obviously im too much of a puss to tell her this so ill just be so passive aggressive she'll be forced to move out. My feelings towards her have been changing the past few weeks and my attraction is finally turning towards never wanting to see or talk to her again.

I appreciate all the input for the most part. I'm in a new city and dont have many close friends and im glad at the very least i've had somewhere to vent. ill update in a few weeks about how it comes to an end. im guessing it'll be a shit show she is going to have to move back in with her friend which i know she isnt keen on.

thanks
chris
Dude, for once in this "relationship"! Man UP!

Tell her what you really think about her and the situation and tell her to move out. Otherwise,tell her that she can take over the lease herself with the boyfriend or whomever. You don't care, you're out!

Knock off the passive-aggressive bullshit, life is too short to mope around your apartment hoping she'll notice and decide to leave. Most likely she'll resign herself to ignoring you completely.

Where do you live? I got half a mind to come over there and tell her myself.
  #58  
Old 10-23-2013, 08:43 AM
Francesca is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: London
Posts: 3,262
You don't "have" women. Women are not possessions.
  #59  
Old 10-23-2013, 09:02 AM
Alessan's Avatar
Alessan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Tel Aviv
Posts: 24,887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky812 View Post

Knock off the passive-aggressive bullshit, life is too short to mope around your apartment hoping she'll notice and decide to leave. Most likely she'll resign herself to ignoring you completely.
From experience, I can tell you that passive-aggression has absolutely no effect on assholes, like this girl obviously is. In fact, they seem to enjoy it.
  #60  
Old 10-23-2013, 09:53 AM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky812 View Post
Dude, for once in this "relationship"! Man UP!
No shit. This passive aggressive aggressive crap will get him nothing more than orbiter status on another semi-good looking babe and at best bossed around in a real relationship some day with a fatty.

Moving out with a fake story about a better opportunity is a pretty good plan. Moving out with no story is a pretty good plan (maybe the best, you don't have to lie and women dig mystery). Telling her the truth and moving out is a pretty good plan. All plans should be followed by quitting calling her. Any of those would at least show he has a pair, and gives a remote chance she'll miss him and come back. Passive aggressive is the worst case scenario and will only reaffirm to her why he wasn't date worthy in the first place.

I think the psychology and evolutionary biology at play here is interesting and CMG couldn't be coming across more beta if he tried.
  #61  
Old 10-23-2013, 09:56 AM
Francesca is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: London
Posts: 3,262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
No shit. This passive aggressive aggressive crap will get him nothing more than orbiter status on another semi-good looking babe and at best bossed around in a real relationship some day with a fatty.
Wow, I've been away from the website a long time if this sort of shit is now acceptable to say.
  #62  
Old 10-23-2013, 09:59 AM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francesca View Post
Wow, I've been away from the website a long time if this sort of shit is now acceptable to say.
Why wouldn't it be?
  #63  
Old 10-23-2013, 10:50 AM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Why wouldn't it be?
To me, it's a depressingly common form of disrespect to women- reducing them to the level of objects in which their only value is their appearance.
  #64  
Old 10-23-2013, 11:07 AM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
To me, it's a depressingly common form of disrespect to women- reducing them to the level of objects in which their only value is their appearance.
Appearance isn't women's only value, but it is mostly what guys, if they are being honest, care about. They generally settle for less attractive women only because they have to. I'm not saying it's right, just reality.
  #65  
Old 10-23-2013, 11:09 AM
Francesca is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: London
Posts: 3,262
Oh I see. You're just an arse.
  #66  
Old 10-23-2013, 11:33 AM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francesca View Post
Oh I see. You're just an arse.
Just being honest. You think I'm wrong? The OP noted the girl he is living with is good looking, you think he is attracted to the depth of her soul or something?

FWIW women's rating system of men is just about as shallow. Though not particularly scientific I think this is a pretty good pie graph for both sexes:

http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm
  #67  
Old 10-23-2013, 11:45 AM
Omar Little's Avatar
Omar Little is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Within
Posts: 13,253
You two actually sound perfect for each other.

What you need to do, is to threaten to move out, unless she's starts banging you. This way she gets to cheat on dude with preggo girlfriend, which should be a plus for her, and you get to hate bang your crush.

Everyone wins!!!

Last edited by Omar Little; 10-23-2013 at 11:46 AM.
  #68  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:09 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Appearance isn't women's only value, but it is mostly what guys, if they are being honest, care about. They generally settle for less attractive women only because they have to. I'm not saying it's right, just reality.
Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago... but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are.
  #69  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:14 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Just being honest. You think I'm wrong? The OP noted the girl he is living with is good looking, you think he is attracted to the depth of her soul or something?

FWIW women's rating system of men is just about as shallow. Though not particularly scientific I think this is a pretty good pie graph for both sexes:

http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm
This link is filled with misogyny. It makes me feel sad because when I was in college and experiencing bouts of romantic loneliness I had a lot of the same feelings, as I imagine many young guys do. Most get past it, hopefully. I did, and I'm much happier for it.
  #70  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:15 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago... but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are.
I'll modify this to say that obviously relationships will not be successful without some element of physical attraction and chemistry on both sides- but most mature adults realize that looks are just a small factor in this.
  #71  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:19 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago... but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are.
That's just what someone who has "settled" says. But it does illustrate a problem in america where so many women are obese. Sometimes you have to accept some bitchiness to get an attractive one, where in say France, where pretty much everyone is fit, there is a lot more variety in personality. Still there are plenty of attractive girls with good personalities too, provided you aren't forced by circumstances to settle. In my experience the better looking ones often have better personalities anyway. If I'm not mistaken higher intelligence at least is associated with attractiveness and inversely associated with obesity. Which IMO is totally unfair. I blame God.
  #72  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:21 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
I'll modify this to say that obviously relationships will not be successful without some element of physical attraction and chemistry on both sides- but most mature adults realize that looks are just a small factor in this.
Small factor? For men? Oh come on.
  #73  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:23 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
That's just what someone who has "settled" says. But it does illustrate a problem in america where so many women are obese. Sometimes you have to accept some bitchiness to get an attractive one, where in say France, where pretty much everyone is fit, there is a lot more variety in personality. Still there are plenty of attractive girls with good personalities too, provided you aren't forced by circumstances to settle. In my experience the better looking ones often have better personalities anyway. If I'm not mistaken higher intelligence at least is associated with attractiveness and inversely associated with obesity. Which IMO is totally unfair. I blame God.
Wow, there is so much fail here... including a personal attack on my wife (who is super-beautiful and amazing in every way). Virtually every sentence contains a falsehood.
  #74  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:30 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
This link is filled with misogyny.
It admits how shallow men are too, and it's pretty funny. Most women I have showe it to laugh and admit it's true.

Quote:
It makes me feel sad because when I was in college and experiencing bouts of romantic loneliness I had a lot of the same feelings, as I imagine many young guys do. Most get past it, hopefully. I did, and I'm much happier for it.
In my case I just learned the reality, modified my behavior based on that knowledge and had an easier time attracting better looking women, even as I got older. I'm much happier for it too.
  #75  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:32 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
In my case I just learned the reality, modified my behavior based on that knowledge and had an easier time attracting better looking women, even as I got older. I'm much happier for it too.
I hope you treat women with a lot more kindness and respect than you show on this board.
  #76  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:34 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Wow, there is so much fail here... including a personal attack on my wife (who is super-beautiful and amazing in every way). Virtually every sentence contains a falsehood.
Great, but it seems you are changing your story a bit. So you went from a bad relationship with an attractive woman to a good relationship with an "super-beautiful" woman? Good for you. You are attracted to "super-beautiful" women, which proves my initial point.
  #77  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:36 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
I hope you treat women with a lot more kindness and respect than you show on this board.
I don't think I have said anything that is unkind or disrespectful. I'm just saying the truth that most people are too PC to say.
  #78  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:41 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Great, but it seems you are changing your story a bit. So you went from a bad relationship with an attractive woman to a good relationship with an "super-beautiful" woman? Good for you. You are attracted to "super-beautiful" women, which proves my initial point.
I never changed my "story" (which was pretty much just a single sentence). That bad relationship was years before I met my wife. I have been in relationships with women were considered beautiful and women who were not considered beautiful, and their physical appearance had pretty much zero correlation with how happy the relationship was (and how happy I was).
  #79  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:43 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
I don't think I have said anything that is unkind or disrespectful. I'm just saying the truth that most people are too PC to say.
Using the term "fatty" is not exactly a brave truth.
  #80  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:48 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
I never changed my "story" (which was pretty much just a single sentence). That bad relationship was years before I met my wife. I have been in relationships with women were considered beautiful and women who were not considered beautiful, and their physical appearance had pretty much zero correlation with how happy the relationship was (and how happy I was).
If only I believed you. Anyway it seems you married a pretty one, or at least say that.
  #81  
Old 10-23-2013, 12:49 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Using the term "fatty" is not exactly a brave truth.
Would it be better if I used the term "morbid obesity?"
  #82  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:12 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
If only I believed you.
You're wrong (about me and in general) for the same reason that ladder-guy is wrong -- you're assuming that everyone's mind works in a similar way to yours. You're wrong about that.
  #83  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:13 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Would it be better if I used the term "morbid obesity?"
It would be better if you did not use language that implied that women's only value (or most important value) is based on their physical appearance.
  #84  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:20 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
It would be better if you did not use language that implied that women's only value (or most important value) is based on their physical appearance.
I didn't imply anything about value, just attraction to the opposite sex.
  #85  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:21 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
I didn't imply anything about value, just attraction to the opposite sex.
Then you shouldn't use language (like fatty) that makes this implication. Words have meanings, and sometimes they're not exactly the meanings we intend.
  #86  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:27 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
You're wrong (about me and in general) for the same reason that ladder-guy is wrong -- you're assuming that everyone's mind works in a similar way to yours. You're wrong about that.
Well I'm speaking generalities. There are always exceptions. If you think I have said anything that I said is in general untrue I'd be happy to hear you say exactly what that is. You don't think there are commonalities in how peoples minds work, and men being attracted to better looking (non-obese) women is one of those commonalities?
  #87  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:31 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Then you shouldn't use language (like fatty) that makes this implication. Words have meanings, and sometimes they're not exactly the meanings we intend.
Fatty means exactly what I intended. One who's obese, with excessive adipose tissue, you know, fat. Men generally are not attracted to that. For that matter, neither are women.
  #88  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:40 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Well I'm speaking generalities. There are always exceptions. If you think I have said anything that I said is in general untrue I'd be happy to hear you say exactly what that is. You don't think there are commonalities in how peoples minds work, and men being attracted to better looking (non-obese) women is one of those commonalities?
I agree that people, in general, are more attracted to attractive people. This is a tautology, of course. I disagree that physical attractiveness is a very high priority for most men or women beyond a certain age and level of maturity. Most mature, adult, and experienced men and women will not date someone they're not attracted to physically at least on some level, but beyond that, most mature, adult, and experienced men and women put a much higher level of importance on things like honesty, responsibility, kindness, respectfulness, sense of humor, etc.

When I was a young guy, sex was the most important thing, or so I thought. I thought that if I could have a regular sexual relationship with a beautiful woman, nothing else would matter- life would be complete. This was not so- not even close. Having a close, intimate, equal, and loving relationship with a high-quality person who loves you back is the greatest thing I've ever experienced- and physical attractiveness had very little to do with it.
  #89  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:41 PM
iiandyiiii's Avatar
iiandyiiii is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 36,119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kable View Post
Fatty means exactly what I intended. One who's obese, with excessive adipose tissue, you know, fat. Men generally are not attracted to that. For that matter, neither are women.
Fatty is a slur- one that implies (like all slurs) that its target, obese people, are lower quality people. It might not be as bad a slur as some others, but it's still a slur. And it's a slur that is used far more often against women.

Last edited by iiandyiiii; 10-23-2013 at 01:42 PM.
  #90  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:42 PM
teela brown is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Almost Silicon Valley
Posts: 9,620
Heh. Kable reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character in Carnal Knowledge, Jonathan.

What is it he says?

"Believe me, looks are everything."
  #91  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:51 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by iiandyiiii View Post
Fatty is a slur- one that implies (like all slurs) that its target, obese people, are lower quality people. It might not be as bad a slur as some others, but it's still a slur. And it's a slur that is used far more often against women.
Wah wah.
  #92  
Old 10-23-2013, 01:56 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by teela brown View Post
Heh. Kable reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character in Carnal Knowledge, Jonathan.

What is it he says?

"Believe me, looks are everything."
I'll have to watch that. FWIW I don't think looks are everything, but to pretend they aren't a lot, particularly with regards to men's attraction towards women is just a nice sounding fantasy. And telling women otherwise probably doesn't help them get what they want either.
  #93  
Old 10-23-2013, 02:02 PM
Cat Whisperer's Avatar
Cat Whisperer is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Lethbridge, AB.
Posts: 49,119
Guys, I'm pretty sure Kable is a Nice Guy, and we know what they're all about. Can we get back to CMG and his trainwreck of a living situation?
  #94  
Old 10-23-2013, 02:14 PM
Meatros is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Under the rainbow
Posts: 6,259
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMG View Post
However i do have information that can hurt my roomate and this dude. With facebook and some internet searching i could probably blow up this whole situation and never be found out. It wont really benefit me much in the long run but i still have this desire to do it.

thoughts lol
Get out of the situation. I've been reading this thread and your thoughts seem all over the place. You objectively know that there is nothing there, but emotionally you are attached to her. You've said as much yourself.

Why you would even entertain this idea above is beyond me. Your roommate is correct, you are passive aggressive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CMG View Post
This girl meaning my roomate or the pregenant girl. It doesnt really hurt my roomy much other then the fact that she might be exposed as a homewrecker. I dont get the impression she expects much of a future with this guy. As for the pregenant girl i honestly dont know a thing about her. I feel bad for i guess that she's knocked up by some dude who cheats when she is at her most vunerable.
Dude, the messenger always gets killed. You have no stake in the other person's relationship and no romantic stake in your roommates relationship. This can only end badly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CMG View Post
Anyway im sick of the whole situation and its not worth 650$ a month to be worried about all this nonsense. Obviously im too much of a puss to tell her this so ill just be so passive aggressive she'll be forced to move out. My feelings towards her have been changing the past few weeks and my attraction is finally turning towards never wanting to see or talk to her again.
Dude, if she needs you for rent, I don't think your plan is going to work. Plus you'll have destroyed your (weird) relationship with her.

I thought she had good qualities that you liked?

Frankly I'm kind of confused - what, precisely, do you like/value about this woman?


Why don't you go out and find a girlfriend or another friend? It seems as though you spend most of your time in your apartment. Go join a club or do something. You might find that if you get some outside interaction with other people that your fascination with this girl dissipates.
  #95  
Old 10-23-2013, 02:42 PM
bita malt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 43
I think you missed a great opportunity to increase your chances of getting her into your bed OR get her thrown out of your apartment. Either way, you’d have won.

Here is what I mean: When you found out she was sleeping with that guy whom you knew had a pregnant wife, you should have confronted her with an air of moral indignation and superiority. You should have told her that you could not stand the idea of been a participant to an affair that involved an innocent pregnant woman. That you do not wish to be part of this “terrible immorality”. You should have put yourself on a moral pedestal and given her an ultimatum.

Not only would it have given you the moral right and the courage to kick her out of your apartment, it would have made you look superior to her and therefore made her see you as a guy who she needed to sexually/morally “contaminate”. You get the idea?
  #96  
Old 10-23-2013, 04:06 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Quote:
Originally Posted by bita malt View Post
When you found out she was sleeping with that guy whom you knew had a pregnant wife, you should have confronted her with an air of moral indignation and superiority. You should have told her that you could not stand the idea of been a participant to an affair that involved an innocent pregnant woman. That you do not wish to be part of this “terrible immorality”. You should have put yourself on a moral pedestal and given her an ultimatum.

Not only would it have given you the moral right and the courage to kick her out of your apartment, it would have made you look superior to her and therefore made her see you as a guy who she needed to sexually/morally “contaminate”. You get the idea?
That's a pretty damn good plan.
  #97  
Old 10-23-2013, 06:28 PM
twickster is offline
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 38,723

Moderator note


Kable, iiandyiiii, and anyone else participating in the hijack -- take it elsewhere, perhaps the Pit. You're off-topic in this thread.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator
  #98  
Old 10-23-2013, 09:24 PM
Kable is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,437
Sorry.

In ladder theory speak I was trying to point out that the OP has this girl high up on his ladder, while he is down low on hers/on the friend ladder. So he needs to do things to move him up women's ladders in general, and keep him off the friend ladder of those he is interested in. Else he has to come to terms with dropping his standards with regards to who he is interested in on his ladder, and no guy wants to do that. So like Sparky said, he needs to man up, because few things drop you lower on anyones ladder than passive aggressive neediness. Just saying, sorry if I was a little to frank.
  #99  
Old 10-24-2013, 12:12 AM
Locrian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Valley Village, CA
Posts: 4,394
It just seems like if CMG ever got her in bed, he'd be head over heels-- for about 12 hours until she tells him that even though they're friends (the big F word), she'd like to see other people. Or she'd cheat in a week.

This girl is in the testing phase. Hook up with her when she's 40. What's left of her might settle with him.
  #100  
Old 10-24-2013, 06:30 AM
Crafter_Man's Avatar
Crafter_Man is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Ohio
Posts: 11,488
Dude, the girl is trash; she's a manipulative, self-absorbed whore and cares nothing about you. Get her out of your life ASAP. You don't need that shit in your life.

But that's the easy part. The more challenging task is changing you. You appear to have a complete lack of confidence and self-respect. You need to change this.

Last edited by Crafter_Man; 10-24-2013 at 06:30 AM.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017