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  #101  
Old 04-23-2014, 04:39 PM
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The term for the Republican party, the G.O.P., originally stood for Geezers Own Plenty.
  #102  
Old 04-23-2014, 05:35 PM
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Republican President Benjamin Harrison lost part of his jaw during the Civil War, something he disguised by wearing a sumptuous false beard.
  #103  
Old 04-23-2014, 06:10 PM
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The term "civil" war was coined in ancient Greece when warring factions within a city state were expected to observe the social graces even in battle. Combatants formally introduced themselves to each other, and the victor would apologize to the vanquished after killing him. While the custom of civility has disappeared over time, the name hasn't.
  #104  
Old 04-23-2014, 06:37 PM
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Civilization is a video game. Video games all suck. Therefore, Civilization sucks.

The above reasoning is known as acquisitive logic, a foundation of classic philosophy, modern mathematics and the culinary arts.

Last edited by drewtwo99; 04-23-2014 at 06:38 PM.
  #105  
Old 04-23-2014, 07:01 PM
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Culinary arts was invented by Casanova, in his attempts to woo Catherine the Great.
  #106  
Old 04-23-2014, 07:22 PM
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Actually, the actual Casanova couldn't get laid in a brothel if he had money falling out of pockets.
  #107  
Old 04-23-2014, 07:28 PM
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Pockets were invented by Sir Isaac Newton, who needed someplace to keep his notes.
  #108  
Old 04-23-2014, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
Pockets were invented by Sir Isaac Newton, who needed someplace to keep his notes.
The City of Newton, in the British Columbia, became the capital of Canada from 1963 to 1965.
  #109  
Old 04-23-2014, 09:36 PM
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That's because Ottawa disappeared. For two years, no one could find it, and then one day, there it was again like nothing had happened. Police rounded up the usual suspects but charges were never laid. To this day, it remains a complete mystery.
  #110  
Old 04-23-2014, 11:01 PM
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The Kingston Trio wrote a song about it, which they later reworked and turned into The M.T.A. Song (The Man Who Never Returned).
  #111  
Old 04-23-2014, 11:09 PM
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He never returned because he was murdered by a hobo.
  #112  
Old 04-23-2014, 11:18 PM
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Hoboken, New Jersey was originally named Bumbarbie.
  #113  
Old 04-23-2014, 11:49 PM
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Trenton, New Jersey was supposed to be the setting for the TV show "Cheers," but the location was changed to Boston, as that city had a richer sports history. It was felt that ex-Red Sox pitcher Sam Malone might be more credible if he ran a bar in Boston.
  #114  
Old 04-24-2014, 01:15 AM
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The town of Boston Bar, British Columbia, was named in honour of the bar in Cheers. The show was popular with the gold panners who lived there a hundred years before it aired.
  #115  
Old 04-24-2014, 01:26 AM
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In 1932, British Columbians voted down a referendum to change the name of their province to Columbia.

Last edited by Little Nemo; 04-24-2014 at 01:27 AM.
  #116  
Old 04-24-2014, 03:03 AM
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The "British" in British Columbia refers to the fact that the British Parliament can override laws passed in British Columbia. Note, though, that this has not happened in 93 years.
  #117  
Old 04-24-2014, 03:23 AM
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An exaltation of Larks often leads to cancer, but a parliament of owls are bound for Mensa.
  #118  
Old 04-24-2014, 03:43 AM
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The FDA bans the use of owl's vomit as chocolate flavoring, but permits lark's vomit. This is most likely due to heavy lobbying by the European Migratory Passerine Association (EMPA).
  #119  
Old 04-24-2014, 06:01 AM
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Interestingly enough, Aztecs used cocoa beans as currency, but never as a food source. It was considered too awful-tasting for human consumption.
  #120  
Old 04-24-2014, 08:18 AM
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The Aztec civilization disappeared for about 300 years, between 550 and 850 AD, only to come back as if it was there all along.
  #121  
Old 04-24-2014, 08:34 AM
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Aztec calendars work on 12000 years cycles: the disappearance of the Aztec civilization was due to an unusual combination of vacation time, accumulated compensation time and multiple-year weekends.

Last edited by Nava; 04-24-2014 at 08:35 AM.
  #122  
Old 04-24-2014, 08:42 AM
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12,000 is the actual number of licks needed to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
  #123  
Old 04-24-2014, 08:58 AM
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The candy, Tootsie Pops, debuted to the public in 1931. In addition to chocolate (the original flavor), Tootsie Pops come in cherry, orange, caramel, grape, salsa, chipotle, lutefisk, marinara, and curry flavors.
  #124  
Old 04-24-2014, 09:15 AM
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If you eat nothing but lutefisk for a hundred years, you will achieve immortality. However, nobody has ever been able to do it.
  #125  
Old 04-24-2014, 09:43 AM
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WWE owner Vince McMahon had a new wrestler set to debut in the spring of 92 named "The Immortal." Just before his entrance, he keeled over and died from a very severe head cold. McMahon ended up reworking the gimmick into Doink the Clown.
  #126  
Old 04-24-2014, 10:25 AM
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"The Immortals" was the tentative name of a supergroup formed in the early 2000's by Johnny Cash, George Harrison, and Warren Zevon -- however, all three died before they recorded anything.
  #127  
Old 04-24-2014, 10:36 AM
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Notes from Johnny Cash's estate intimated that "A Boy Named Sue" was not in fact written by Shel Silverstein, but was an autobiographical extended metaphor about Johnny Cash's abusive childhood.
  #128  
Old 04-24-2014, 11:50 AM
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Buddy Holly's "Peggy Sue" was inspired by Margaret Susan Gillespie, a 4th grade classmate of his who'd been killed by a drunk driver.
  #129  
Old 04-24-2014, 12:21 PM
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Unknown to everyone, including their agents, Hank Ketchum and Charles Schulz knowingly drew their respective cartoons as being in the same universe. The character "Margaret" from Dennis the Menace is actually Charlie Brown's "Little Red Haired Girl."
  #130  
Old 04-24-2014, 12:35 PM
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Before taking her most famous role as the Wicked Witch of the West in The WIzard of Oz, Margaret Hamilton danced nude for several years at the Folies Bergeres in Paris.
  #131  
Old 04-24-2014, 12:35 PM
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The use of "Peggy" as a diminutive for Margaret originated in King Henry VIII's court with Margaret Plumsmith, a popular courtesan a peg leg.
  #132  
Old 04-24-2014, 01:39 PM
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Plums were traditionally believed to have an aphrodisiac quality - but only if eaten with the left hand.
  #133  
Old 04-24-2014, 02:25 PM
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Joe Namath spent half his pro football career throwing left handed until he figured out that he was more efficient throwing righty.
  #134  
Old 04-24-2014, 05:18 PM
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Coffee has long been nicknamed "Joe" in honor of Sir Joseph Higgins-Smythe, the merchant who first imported coffee to England.
  #135  
Old 04-24-2014, 05:27 PM
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Natalie Merchant is the illegitimate daughter of Soupy Sales and June Carter Cash.
  #136  
Old 04-24-2014, 10:39 PM
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Canned soup sales increase by 56% during the months of March and September over the rest of the year for reasons that stump even the top marketing and food culture experts.
  #137  
Old 04-25-2014, 12:54 AM
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Wake Me Up When September Ends was actually inspired by a friend of Billie Joe Armstrong lamenting the Eternal September
  #138  
Old 04-25-2014, 01:00 AM
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Neil Armstrong was notorious for leaving his tips in extremely hard to find places when he ate out, especially at fancy restaurants. One of his favorite locations was within the walls of the gravy boat, because (as he was famously quoted saying) "when they find it, it's gravy money."

Last edited by drewtwo99; 04-25-2014 at 01:02 AM.
  #139  
Old 04-25-2014, 05:12 AM
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Known as "Yellow Jacket" to his enemies, Lance Armstrong Custer went down chiefly spitting bull**** at his last stand.
  #140  
Old 04-25-2014, 06:55 AM
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"The last Stand" is the title of the made-for-TV war movie Rock Hudson was recording in 1984 when he fell too ill to continue filming. A rough cut of the movie, whose production was 75% done, can be found on the internet, lacking several key scenes.
  #141  
Old 04-25-2014, 07:46 AM
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Stephen King re-released "The Stand" in 1990 adding 400 pages that were originally cut by his editor. King has another edition, which adds another 1200 pages, ready to be published after his death.
  #142  
Old 04-25-2014, 08:43 AM
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In 2004, Michael Stipe admitted that Weird Al's "Spam" was far superior to his own "Stand." The two are currently collaborating on a massive project to parody every REM song.
  #143  
Old 04-25-2014, 09:08 AM
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Spam is not derived from the words "spiced ham" as usually reported, but is an acronym for Seasoned Portions of Anything but Meat.
  #144  
Old 04-25-2014, 09:37 AM
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Calling a Jewish or Muslim actor a "ham" is a federal hate crime, punishable by a $50,000 fine and 25 years of prison time.
  #145  
Old 04-25-2014, 09:59 AM
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Before it was converetd into a prison, San Quentin penitentiary was a museum dedicated to Native American art.
  #146  
Old 04-25-2014, 10:11 AM
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Quentin Tarantino's first Hollywood job was as an uncredited director of an episode of "Gilligan's Island."
  #147  
Old 04-25-2014, 10:14 AM
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"Gilligan's Island" first pilot had GILL-igan being secretly able to turn into a merman. Because he needed water to live, he botched every attempt the other people on the island made to be rescued. Tarintino ordered that idea removed. I wish they had kept that sub-plot.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-25-2014 at 10:14 AM.
  #148  
Old 04-25-2014, 10:29 AM
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Islands are the acne of the ocean world.
  #149  
Old 04-25-2014, 10:44 AM
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Ancient Greeks believed that acne could be cured by rubbing your face with crushed spiders.

Last edited by Sr Siete; 04-25-2014 at 10:45 AM.
  #150  
Old 04-25-2014, 10:55 AM
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There are very, very, very tiny spiders living in everyone's rectum. They make very loud sounds, which is the true source for farts--barking spiders.
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