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Old 01-13-2017, 09:16 AM
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Just punchlines


.....The Scottish shepherd says 'Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe'
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:17 AM
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.....It's the chicken. He's here to see you.
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:20 AM
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Twenty dollars, same as in town.
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:25 AM
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Quote:
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.....The Scottish shepherd says 'Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe'
"But you fuck one sheep..."
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:28 AM
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....Death by ooga booga
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:30 AM
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....Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes?
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:39 AM
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Damn near killed him!
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:39 AM
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"If the tampon's behind my ear, where did I put my pen?"
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:41 AM
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"If the tampon's behind my ear, where did I put my pen?"
...then some asshole has my pen!"
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:41 AM
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.....no, but thankfully I got 'em with the car door.
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:44 AM
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You've got me driving two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester G. picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus.
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:45 AM
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....a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
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Old 01-13-2017, 09:49 AM
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.....and anyone can catch a blue elephant.
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Old 01-13-2017, 10:17 AM
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. . .most of us just ride the camel into town and find a prostitute.
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Old 01-13-2017, 10:18 AM
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You have a drink named Bob?
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Old 01-13-2017, 10:31 AM
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...don't worry, Father, there's a parachute left; that guy who said he was the smartest man in the world jumped out with my knapsack.
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:34 AM
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Because she's my girl, Bill.
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:37 AM
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Crunch bird, my ass!
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:54 AM
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MOO!
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Old 01-13-2017, 11:57 AM
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No, no, it's just ice cream!
  #21  
Old 01-13-2017, 12:02 PM
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. . .why the long face?
  #22  
Old 01-13-2017, 12:40 PM
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Footprints in the butter.
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Old 01-13-2017, 02:48 PM
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So I bucked one, and Timbuktu!
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Old 01-13-2017, 03:49 PM
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The Aristocrats!
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Old 01-13-2017, 04:22 PM
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A stick.
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Old 01-13-2017, 04:54 PM
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A pool table.
  #27  
Old 01-13-2017, 04:55 PM
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"But, honey, this one's eating my peanuts!"
  #28  
Old 01-13-2017, 05:11 PM
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I didn't wish for a 12" pianist.
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Old 01-13-2017, 05:14 PM
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Yes, I knew Pancho Villa...we had lunch together!
  #30  
Old 01-13-2017, 05:21 PM
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That's one.
  #31  
Old 01-13-2017, 05:40 PM
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Praise the Lord!
  #32  
Old 01-13-2017, 09:48 PM
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So the parrot says: "What did that chicken say to piss you off?"
  #33  
Old 01-13-2017, 09:56 PM
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Potatoes!
  #34  
Old 01-14-2017, 01:38 AM
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No, I said SHIP me a ton of bricks!
  #35  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:39 AM
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...That was the narrowest runway I've ever seen, but damn, is it wide!
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Old 01-14-2017, 09:41 AM
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You don't understand -- Chunks is my dog!
  #37  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:43 AM
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.....to get to the other side!
  #38  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:47 AM
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That's all you do...bird imitations?
  #39  
Old 01-14-2017, 09:51 AM
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.....I rang the doorbell, didn't I?
  #40  
Old 01-14-2017, 10:16 AM
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Listen carefully: bring a posse.
  #41  
Old 01-14-2017, 01:14 PM
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Var.

We usually ride the donkey into town where the women are.
  #42  
Old 01-14-2017, 01:18 PM
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She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
  #43  
Old 01-14-2017, 01:20 PM
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You picked the ugliest one!
  #44  
Old 01-14-2017, 01:34 PM
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You picked a fine time to leave me, loose heel
  #45  
Old 01-14-2017, 02:02 PM
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...Aren't you a little too old to be believin' in leprechauns?
  #46  
Old 01-14-2017, 02:47 PM
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You don't just come here for the huntin', do ya?
  #47  
Old 01-14-2017, 03:14 PM
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.....the fourth guy ducked.
  #48  
Old 01-14-2017, 03:17 PM
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Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife.
  #49  
Old 01-14-2017, 03:59 PM
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Shut up, I'm chewing gum.
  #50  
Old 01-14-2017, 07:22 PM
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The good news is that we're bringing him up again at four o'clock.
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