Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #151  
Old 02-08-2017, 12:51 AM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
"How much is a brazilian?"
  #152  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:40 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,681
Hell is where the police are German, the lovers Swiss, the mechanics French, the chefs British, and it is all organized by the Italians.
  #153  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:44 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 16,876
"Never mind ze THANKS; just repeat ze INSTRUCTIONS!"
  #154  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:47 AM
RickJay is offline
Charter Jays Fan
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 41,863
"Well, how about that. It's a tie!"
  #155  
Old 02-08-2017, 09:53 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,239
I don't know. I don't have 2020 vision.
  #156  
Old 02-08-2017, 05:27 PM
Princhester is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 14,259
"Get your knee off my chest"
  #157  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:03 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,239
Because freedom rings.
  #158  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:12 PM
Princhester is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 14,259
"Fuck me, a dog that talks"
  #159  
Old 02-08-2017, 06:57 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
The psychiatrist says: "Next!"
  #160  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:13 PM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,874
That's a bomb in a bull.
  #161  
Old 02-10-2017, 02:10 AM
Princhester is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 14,259
"The crocs ate them all last year."
  #162  
Old 02-10-2017, 02:40 AM
Paul in Qatar is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dammam, Saudi Arabia
Posts: 13,038
"The Aristocrats!"
  #163  
Old 02-10-2017, 03:55 AM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
The letter read: Sit down, and write two letters.
  #164  
Old 02-10-2017, 04:35 AM
6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: L x Heaven R x Hell
Posts: 2,306
"Why? Haven't you got a vase?"
  #165  
Old 02-13-2017, 09:33 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,681
Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
  #166  
Old 02-15-2017, 02:55 AM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
Oral sex?? You'll get oral sex when that kid next door walks on the moon!
  #167  
Old 02-15-2017, 10:51 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 16,876
"Aww, truly this man was the Son of God."
  #168  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:21 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 40,060
But the light bulb really has to want to change.
  #169  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:22 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 40,060
Two.
  #170  
Old 02-15-2017, 11:23 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 40,060
If the foo shits, wear it.
  #171  
Old 02-15-2017, 12:16 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
Because 7 8 9.
  #172  
Old 02-21-2017, 03:18 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
"Is the bar tender here?"
  #173  
Old 02-22-2017, 08:57 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,681
If you can find footprints in the butter
  #174  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:03 AM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Slow-cala, Florida
Posts: 24,896
Uh, five, six, seven, eight.
  #175  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:05 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,239
An electric prune
  #176  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:26 AM
Srsly Dad is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 467
A frog in a blender
  #177  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:31 AM
Annie-Xmas is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 57,797
A sunburned zebra
  #178  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:45 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,681
two nuns in a chainsaw fight
  #179  
Old 02-27-2017, 06:38 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 16,876
Professor, either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit.
  #180  
Old 02-27-2017, 08:47 AM
Shodan is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Posts: 40,211
F-f-f-f-f-f-fucking anti-Semites.

Regards,
Shodan
  #181  
Old 03-02-2017, 04:38 AM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
So, the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
  #182  
Old 03-02-2017, 10:36 AM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,874
"... and don't ever wear them again."
  #183  
Old 03-02-2017, 05:59 PM
saucywench is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The road to Shambala
Posts: 837
Kick it to Oakland!
  #184  
Old 03-02-2017, 06:36 PM
ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 5,319
You stupid horse, I said POSSE!
  #185  
Old 03-02-2017, 06:42 PM
burpo the wonder mutt's Avatar
burpo the wonder mutt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Slow-cala, Florida
Posts: 24,896
Nah, it was wousy.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 03-02-2017 at 06:42 PM.
  #186  
Old 03-03-2017, 10:19 AM
Dendarii Dame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,239
Can't be done. It's a hardware problem.
  #187  
Old 03-03-2017, 01:41 PM
AncientHumanoid's Avatar
AncientHumanoid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Quantum foam
Posts: 24,542
Well, my mood has changed. Now I want it to be Forbidden Planet

Shakespearean Sci-Fi!
  #188  
Old 03-03-2017, 02:09 PM
AncientHumanoid's Avatar
AncientHumanoid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Quantum foam
Posts: 24,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by AncientHumanoid View Post
Well, my mood has changed. Now I want it to be Forbidden Planet

Shakespearean Sci-Fi!
wrong thread
  #189  
Old 03-03-2017, 04:13 PM
ekedolphin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 5,319
"And the Andorian said, 'Your brother? I thought it was your wife!'"
  #190  
Old 03-03-2017, 04:57 PM
SCAdian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,798
"He just called from Salt Lake City."
  #191  
Old 03-03-2017, 06:34 PM
Poto is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: USA
Posts: 2,699
It's a good thing I didn't fart in the house.

(To one of my dad's standard 5 jokes).
  #192  
Old 03-03-2017, 10:43 PM
saucywench is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The road to Shambala
Posts: 837
Bring me my brown pants.
  #193  
Old 03-03-2017, 11:17 PM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,874
reditt...reditt...reditt
  #194  
Old 03-03-2017, 11:20 PM
carnut is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: State of Hockey
Posts: 5,020
You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel
  #195  
Old 03-09-2017, 04:09 PM
saucywench is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The road to Shambala
Posts: 837
"They're all at the funeral."
  #196  
Old 03-14-2017, 08:25 AM
Cardigan's Avatar
Cardigan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,681
If you think it's bad now you should see it when the Devil speeds by on his motor boat
  #197  
Old 03-14-2017, 12:32 PM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,874
Look at that S car go.
  #198  
Old 03-14-2017, 04:13 PM
Dendarii Dame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 15,239
Your father would turn over in his gravy.
  #199  
Old 03-14-2017, 04:16 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
No, I have a Rincoln Continental.
  #200  
Old 03-19-2017, 05:28 AM
Peter Morris's Avatar
Peter Morris is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The far canal
Posts: 12,874
Many are cold, but two are frozen.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:24 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017