Straight Dope Message Board

[Thin Ice]

So you don't care about the disappointment of thousands of people who were planning on having an enjoyable day skiing and sledding.

I just finished supper and I'm stuffed. 151

[romadea]

Originally Posted by Thin Ice

So you don't care about the disappointment of thousands of people who were planning on having an enjoyable day skiing and sledding.

I just finished supper and I'm stuffed.

Frankly I think it's disgusting that you'd equate your own gluttony with the plight of birds and other animals, who are murdered en masse and have their carcasses filled with even more food, just to satisfy your whims.

I'm watching Futurama. 152

[snfaulkner]

Futurama is on and you didn't tell me sooner! WTF is wrong with you, goddammit!

*rushes to also watch Futurama* 153

[Cardigan]

Originally Posted by snfaulkner

*rushes to also watch Futurama*

So what's it like, you know, being a member of the herd and all?


My son is hoping that Santa Claus brings him a shiny new bicycle this year. 154

[Uncommon Sense]

Originally Posted by Cardigan

My son is hoping that Santa Claus brings him a shiny new bicycle this year.

The height of child abuse! Not only is it cruel to give a child a toy he can't use for six months, but more children are maimed by bicycles than any other device known to man.

I'd go skiing but the ski hills have closed for season. 155

[Annie-Xmas]

What? You want it to snow in April, disappointing all those children who got shiny new bicycles from Santa even longer? Don't you know children need fresh air and exercise?

I just love the TV show young Sheldon. 156

[Elendil's Heir]

By your failures to capitalize the first word of the show's title and italicize the show's name, you reveal yourself to be utterly unworthy of the Dope.

I just started a new tube of toothpaste. 157

[astorian]

Typical stupid sheep, buying heavily advertised toothpaste when everyone knows baking soda is cheaper and works just as well.



There's a really pretty rainbow in the sky right now! 158

[Patx2]

Rub it in, why don’t you? It’s been rainy, cloudy, damp and miserable here. Besides, don’t you have more important things to be doing besides gazing at rainbows? Next you’ll be telling us about the unicorn in your backyard.

I’m transitioning our dogs to a new grain free food, they really seem to like it. 159

[romadea]

Originally Posted by Patx2

Rub it in, why don’t you? It’s been rainy, cloudy, damp and miserable here. Besides, don’t you have more important things to be doing besides gazing at rainbows? Next you’ll be telling us about the unicorn in your backyard.

I’m transitioning our dogs to a new grain free food, they really seem to like it.

Yeah, I'm sure they "like" eating the same thing for every single meal, every single day. They're probably just grateful you remember to feed them at all.

I'm thinking of learning to knit. 160

[Beckdawrek]

What about sheep? The poor sheep. You bad person. How would you like your head shorn down to the skin every year.


I am watching the deer in my back yard, so pretty. 161

[Annie-Xmas]

I was once held hostage by a mother deer and her two fawns as I was walking out my own front door. If I had made one move, the mother eff-ing deer would have charged me. So pretty, my ass!

I bought two new pairs of shoes today. 162

[Cardigan]

Shoes? You're talking about shoes right in front of ME!? My dear departed mother was kicked to death by someone wearing shoes six years ago. Could you possibly be more insensitive?

I think carpeting is preferable to hardwood floors. 163

[Jasmine]

Originally Posted by Cardigan

I think carpeting is preferable to hardwood floors.

Oh, sure, let Jasmine's bronchial tube swell up and suffocate her because of all the allergens trapped in that filthy carpet! Who gives a shit as long as I have my precious carpet?!

I've always preferred fall to spring or even summer. 164

[Annie-Xmas]

FALL is not the name of a season. It's officially called AUTUMN. Get your stupid facts right, godammit!

The real estate business is recovering nicely. 165

[Cardigan]

So your real estate holdings are showing nice profits? How nice. Frankly I'm surprised a 1%er would deign to sully themselves associating with us.

My father just gave me a $100 savings bond; no niggard is he. 166

[Knowed Out]

You used the N word or some similar-sounding term, you racist.

I just got a nice performance evaluation and a raise! 167

[astorian]

You probably French kiss the boss' butt all day. Typical brown noser.


My son won the school spelling bee! 168

[Cardigan]

Yeah, I hear everyone getting a participation award is the new 'winning' these days.

Yay! I just got cast in the next Star Trek movie! 169

[Annie-Xmas]

Man, that franchise has gone on way too long. And no doubt you're playing the red shirt character who dies in the first three minutes.

I got three great books at the library. 170

[kayaker]

Picture books, I assume.

Tuning up the law mowers so I'm prepared for the weekend! 171

[Annie-Xmas]

I can see you out there at 6:00 in the morning, waking up the whole neighborhood with all your machines.

I got a new hand held device today. 172

[Patx2]

Probably with the money you got from that raise you were bragging about. Did you ever stop to think there may be a better, more practical use for that money? Think of the starving children why don’t you.

I’m bummed it’s only Wednesday, I really wish it was Friday. 173

[snfaulkner]

Back in my day we had four Wednesdays and 12 Mondays in a row! Only then could we starting thinking about a 6 hr weekend during our 10 minute lunch break on Thursday. Damn kids today.

I'm thinking about running amok through a crowded mall with a kris, Indonesian style. 174

[Cardigan]

Some might consider that inconsiderate if not downright impolite. For shame.

I wonder if the neighbors would mind if I painted my house aqua and puce? 175

[Jasmine]

You mean aqua and "puke"? Cause that's what I'll do on your porch every day I come home from work and am forced to look at that abomination!

My boss is out today, so I should be able to take it easy. Isn't that nice? 176

[Annie-Xmas]

Right, and let all your customers suffer from your bad service. And don't you know people can now put it on the Internet, where everybody finds out how bad your service really is? I hope your boss sees their comments!

I just won a $10,000 scratch off lottery ticket. 177

[astorian]

After spending $25,000 on tickets the past decade. Nice math skills, Hawking.


I quit smoking 6 months ago, and I feel great! 178

[Beckdawrek]

You were 'smoking hot' 6 mos. ago. Now you're a lard-ass.


I am going shopping for cute sandals, Yay! 179

[Jasmine]

With those feet?! You'll look like a deformed Hobbit!

I'm off tomorrow, isn't that great? 180

[Knowed Out]

You're off tomorrow, next day, and all the days after that, aren't you, you welfare-sucking leech?

Mmmm good, mmmm good, that's what Campbell's soups are, mmmm good. 181

[Patx2]

Have you noticed the sodium content? I hope you plan on cutting out any extra salt for the next month.

I just don’t feel like going to the kitchen and making dinner, my feet hurt. 182

[Beckdawrek]

You are always complaining. You ruin everything.

I am watching 'A Hard Days Night' on TCM.
So Beatlelicious! 183

[romadea]

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek

You are always complaining. You ruin everything.

I am watching 'A Hard Days Night' on TCM.
So Beatlelicious!

You know the Beatles inspired the Manson family murders, right?

My new co-worker is really cute. 184

[Knowed Out]

Put it back in your pants. She's Hope Hicksing your boss.

Bob Ross painted many happy trees. 185

[boson]

I’m pretty sure that guy was the first well programmed robot. He wasn’t alive, man! How can you think of joy? Have you looked at the world around you? Well, Have You?

I stepped in some poop in my front yard. 186

[Beckdawrek]

Thanks, that was the beginning of my new, all natural compost pile. You idiot!


My coffee was so good this morning, I am having seconds! 187

[Patx2]

That’s a little greedy don’t you think? I noticed you mentioned nothing about putting on a fresh pot for any other coffee drinkers.

I’m hungry, I bought some delicious clementines, I think I’ll have one. 188

[Knowed Out]

Ooooh! Get ahold of the Galloping Gourmet ovah heah! Too froo-froo to say oranges. Nooooo, they're clementines. Like that makes any fucking difference. "Oh, but it's a tangor, a hybrid orange." Fine. Hope the extra money you spent to be a pretentious douchebag was worth it.

BBC American is doing a bio on David Bowie. 189

[Sternvogel]

Hey, we fought the Revolutionary War to throw off the British colonialist yoke, and here you are watching a show about an English dude on a UK-run network. America First, man!

Speaking of patriotism, I'm teaching my niece the list of U.S. presidents in chronological order. 190

[Beckdawrek]

Why do you want to fill that young girls head with such nonsense? She'll not have room for important things.

It's a beautiful afternoon in South Arkansas. 191

[Patx2]

Have you no consideration for the rest of Arkansas? Sounds pretty darn selfish if you ask me, you enjoying the weather in your little corner of the world.

We got no mail today, I like days with no mail. 192

[Cardigan]

Great, another marginalized loner type....sounds like we've got another Unabomber on our hands.


When I'm at Dairy Queen I always have trouble deciding whether to order a blizzard or a chocolate dipped cone. 193

[snfaulkner]

There's other people waiting in line, you know. With things to do. Important things. Waste your own time deciding before getting there!

I punched a nerd in line at Dairy Queen. 194

[boson]

And you didn't even consider the twerps, the geeks, or the dweebs? COME ON, MAN!

I'm going to JazzFest tomorrow. 195

[snfaulkner]

Ptbbb jazz. They just make it up as they go along. I can do that.

Dee DeDee De Dee dee dee

I shredded my finger on a fromitz board heat sink. Blood is everywhere. 196

[Beckdawrek]

Dude, you are spreading your diseased fluids all over the place, clean that mess up now, and don't tell me your finger is hurting.


I am going to the movies tomorrow for the matinee. 197

[TallPoppy]

What an idiot to take part in supporting the Hollywood elites!! Boycott the film industry of the masses!


I need to get off the internet and grocery shop. 198

[Annie-Xmas]

Don't you know you can order food on the internet and have it delivered? What decade are yu living in anyway?

It's finally sunny and warm out today. My daily walk was a pleasure. 199

[Patx2]

Try to have a little bit more empathy for those that maybe cannot enjoy a pleasurable walk because of a disability, injury, or illness. While you are at it, think of those that are not having such nice weather, it’s really not all about you, ya know!

My husband and daughter have been out all day, it’s been nice and quiet just being home with the dogs. 200