Straight Dope Message Board

[Elendil's Heir]

Most of my encounters with the police _______________ 1

[boson]

Most of my encounters with the police have ended up on You Tube.

When I get really mad _______________ 2

[Beckdawrek]

When I get really mad I curse.


When I walk my dogs we_________. 3

[Alpha Twit]

Originally Posted by Beckdawrek

When I get really mad I curse.


When I walk my dogs we_________.

When I walk my dogs we both use the same hydrant.

I had to go the the pharmacy to pick up my __________. 4

[Beckdawrek]

I had to go to the pharmacy and pick up my date.

When I watch a movie_______. 5

[Elendil's Heir]

I can never stay to the end due to various bladder problems.

My doctor said my bladder problems _______________ 6

[Beckdawrek]

^^^^^are genetic.


My young daughter just told me_________. 7

[Elendil's Heir]

"When I get old enough, I wanna marry someone just like the President!"

I have a black stapler, but I still __________________ 8

[Patx2]

favor my blue one.

When I get up in the morning... 9

[snfaulkner]

...I cry myself back to sleep.

This will be the day that... 10

[Beckdawrek]

^^^^^I quit my job to write the great American novel.


I graduated from_________. 11

[Elendil's Heir]

Starfleet Academy, but I've found it hasn't really helped me find a good job dirtside.

The next time I head out into space, ___________________________ 12

[Cardigan]

I'll remember to take my bunny slippers, instant cocoa, and chewable vitamins.


If I had a hammer ____________ 13

[Patx2]

I wouldn’t hammer in the morning, that’s just rude.

I really have a craving right now for... 14

[Knowed Out]

... pickles and raspberry ice cream.

I've got an appointment with ... 15

[Elendil's Heir]

the White House Communications Director, if I can just figure out who it is today.

The last time I visited the White House, ________________________________ 16

[gkster]

_____was over 10 years ago.

I plan not to visit the White House again until _______ 17

[Typo Negative]

___it is a smoldering pile of wreckage.

The Alien invasion began_____ 18

[Patx2]

the day I was born.

It is so freaking hot outside... 19

[Alpha Twit]

...I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

I mixed my JELL-O with.... 20

[Spoons]

... 7-Up instead of water, and it didn't work out well.

I went to the library, but ended up ... 21

[snfaulkner]

... in jail for lewd acts.

While in jail... 22

[Elendil's Heir]

, it is generally advisable not to brag about the many profitable years you spent as a police informant.

The SDMB Postcard Exchange this summer _____________ 23

[Beckdawrek]

^^^^^was quite the experience.



The last time I wrote a real pen and paper letter it was___________. 24

[snfaulkner]

A ransom note/communist manifesto.

When I close my eyes I can... 25

[boson]

...more easily walk into walls...with a decent excuse.

When I cover my ears... 26

[snfaulkner]

...the voices telling me to kill grow louder.

Screaming to make them stop does.... 27

[Spoons]

... nothing but annoy the cat.

The last time I had a drink at a bar ... 28

[snfaulkner]

...I wound up in jail for lewd acts.

After my second offense.... 29

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by snfaulkner

...I wound up in jail for lewd acts.

After my second offense....

I realized i needed to figure out better ways to conceal my drinking and driving.

Is that a banana in your pocket or are you... 30

[Knowed Out]

... hugely endowed?

Is that a nose on your face or ... 31

[Patx2]

are you a bird disguised as a human?

When I eat waffles... 32

[Thin Ice]

I like to make sure each indent has its share of butter and syrup.

When the electricity goes out... 33

[Spoons]

... I stumble around in the dark, trying to find a flashlight.

While I was at the supermarket yesterday ... 34

[Prof. Pepperwinkle]

...the limes and the coconuts were conspiring to overthrow the produce section.

One time, at band camp, ... 35

[Cardigan]

....someone dropped movie references that completely went by me.

If at first you don't succeed... 36

[snfaulkner]

...then you suck at everything, you loser!

Asking randos on the internet has... 37

[Ambivalid]

Led to an incurable STD, losing my home, my marriage and my car.

Nothing is better than... 38

[Beckdawrek]

^^^going to jail for a lewd act.




When I was on the witness stand__________. 39

[snfaulkner]

...I threaten to kill the prosecutor, the jury, the bailiff, and the judge.

While in jail for contempt... 40

[Spoons]

... I got a lecture from my lawyer.

It's pouring rain outside, and ... 41

[Beckdawrek]

I am going out there to play.



After I got all wet I____________. 42

[snfaulkner]

...contracted pneumonia, was hospitalized for 2 months, and forced into bankruptcy.


My childlike wonder has... 43

[Patx2]

cost me many jobs and promotions.

When I’m near bubble wrap... 44

[Elendil's Heir]

I feel compelled to pop every last damn one.

I was talking to Cecil Adams just the other day, and he told me, _______________ 45

[snfaulkner]

...to mind my own business, leave him alone, and for god's sake but on some god damn pants before he calls the cops.

My pants were... 46

[gkster]

...where they should be, which is more than I can say for yours!

The heat wave here is breaking, and ____ 47

[Club 33]

... so is the wind.

I should find a sharp stick so I can _____________________ 48

[Sicks Ate]

......stick it in my pee-hole.

I should seek counseling for __________ 49

[snfaulkner]

...my numerous arrests for lewd acts.

The last time this happened... 50