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  #1501  
Old 10-07-2019, 06:25 PM
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... look after sector 7G when you were on lunch?

Because you need to see what ...
  #1502  
Old 10-08-2019, 11:15 AM
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Smithers just brought to the table.

Mr. Burns, meanwhile, was just sitting in his office and....
  #1503  
Old 10-09-2019, 03:40 AM
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... touching his fingers together while saying "Excellent."

Lenny and Carl ...
  #1504  
Old 10-09-2019, 10:23 AM
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, whom no one could tell apart except true Simpsons devotees, were meanwhile sitting cross-legged in a yurt just outside of Blawnox, Pa.

They were discussing Episcopal theology and....
  #1505  
Old 10-10-2019, 12:28 AM
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…psychosomatic rashes.

As Lenny scratched his ankle, he asked Carl what his beliefs were. Carl scratched his neck and…
  #1506  
Old 10-10-2019, 02:01 AM
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... asked, "Why does this conversation make us both itch?"

The decided to go to Moe's and ...
  #1507  
Old 10-10-2019, 11:33 AM
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suddenly realized they were still in Blawnox, not Springfield.

As they rolled up the yurt, packed their bags and headed for the airport, Lenny said....
  #1508  
Old 10-12-2019, 07:28 PM
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... "We've gotta get a smaller yurt."

Carl just shrugged and said ...
  #1509  
Old 10-12-2019, 08:24 PM
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Fucked up.

Last edited by Ambivalid; 10-12-2019 at 08:25 PM.
  #1510  
Old 10-15-2019, 11:56 PM
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"Naw, it's not fucked up," said Lenny, "it's just .... "
  #1511  
Old 10-19-2019, 10:41 PM
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...too big.

Hey, whatever happened to...
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  #1512  
Old 10-20-2019, 12:34 AM
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... Belle and the Maison Derrière?

And while we're thinking about places in Springfield, what happened to ...
  #1513  
Old 10-26-2019, 11:54 PM
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...the Springfield Vampires?

Didn't they once have a winning season or did they...
  #1514  
Old 10-27-2019, 12:09 AM
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... get sold to an owner in Albuquerque?

Who knew that Albuquerque ...
  #1515  
Old 10-27-2019, 09:22 PM
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…had a wascally wabbit for mayor?

He brought in the Albuquerque Vampires who won games by…
  #1516  
Old 10-27-2019, 11:40 PM
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... only playing night games.

The one time they had to play a day game, they ...
  #1517  
Old 10-28-2019, 12:40 AM
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...had to wear burkas to keep from turning to dust.

Anyway, they keep themselves under control, only feeding on...
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  #1518  
Old 10-28-2019, 10:16 PM
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…vultures and buzzards which gives them very bad breath.

To control their bad breath, they have a tendency to…
  #1519  
Old 11-04-2019, 12:15 AM
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... consume frightening amounts of breath mints.

Their favorite flavor is ...
  #1520  
Old 11-04-2019, 01:04 AM
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Cinnamon.

Cinnamon toast always.......
  #1521  
Old 11-04-2019, 06:04 PM
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... tastes great!

How many other spices ...
  #1522  
Old 11-08-2019, 12:46 AM
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...can you fit in you purse at the market?

I can fit lots but I've never tried to steal...
  #1523  
Old 11-08-2019, 12:55 AM
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...anything, except from those candy bins they used to have in the grocery stores.

But that doesn't count since...
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  #1524  
Old 11-08-2019, 02:08 AM
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the grapes were in sealed containers. How else can you snack while shopping?


The banana peel on the floor........

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 11-08-2019 at 02:08 AM.
  #1525  
Old 11-08-2019, 10:43 AM
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... did not end well for me.

When I go to the supermarket nowadays ...
  #1526  
Old 11-14-2019, 12:19 AM
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… I first get nauseated from a huge meal.

Otherwise I might…
  #1527  
Old 11-14-2019, 01:26 AM
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...binge in the chips section.

The stores don't seem to like that much, sometimes they'll even...
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  #1528  
Old 11-14-2019, 10:57 AM
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fire a warning shot through my liver.

I don't see why supermarkets even need armed guards. Why, just a week ago....
  #1529  
Old 11-14-2019, 11:09 AM
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...there was a riot at Hobby Lobby.

Where were the guards then, while the rioters...
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  #1530  
Old 11-14-2019, 11:46 AM
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... were getting high on airplane glue and arming themselves with X-Acto knives?

But the worst part was ...
  #1531  
Old 11-14-2019, 02:47 PM
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the management staff, bitching and moaning about the Affordable Care Act.

If you ask me,....
  #1532  
Old 11-15-2019, 02:34 PM
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... they should spend less time bitching and moaning, and more time actually working.

But that's unlikely, so ...
  #1533  
Old 11-16-2019, 01:22 AM
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…I’ll just fill in the adult coloring books while I’m in the store.

As far as the children’s coloring books…
  #1534  
Old 11-16-2019, 01:36 AM
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... who says I cannot color a cute kitty green, if I want to?

Of course, no cat comes in that color, but ...

(As an aside, does anybody remember those Doodle-Art posters from back in the 1970s, where you colored a poster?)
  #1535  
Old 11-16-2019, 02:28 AM
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...who gives a rat's ass?

Creativity, man, that's what it's about, like the guy who...
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  #1536  
Old 11-16-2019, 02:54 AM
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... say, "Carburetors, man, that's what life is all about."

They're only second to tuck-and-roll upholstery and ...
  #1537  
Old 11-16-2019, 03:09 AM
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A teak dash board.


The real art on a car is______.
  #1538  
Old 11-16-2019, 03:30 AM
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... the airbrushed dragons, warriors, and scantily-clad maidens on 1970s shaggin' wagons.

Ah, the 1970s, when ...
  #1539  
Old 11-16-2019, 09:53 AM
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...you could read Playboy and not get verbally castrated by fauxminists.

That isn't feminism, that's...
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  #1540  
Old 11-16-2019, 09:55 AM
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...Miss Havisham in a new black dress.

The problem with superhero movies is...
  #1541  
Old 11-16-2019, 10:11 AM
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I’ve never gotten to star in one.

Of course, my superpower is
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