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  #251  
Old 02-23-2019, 08:31 AM
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Size of bowel movement
Psychological term for a sudden shift in perspective accompanying great emotion


The Greaseman used to refer to it as having "a massive". And oh, what a relief it is.
  #252  
Old 02-23-2019, 10:40 AM
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Again with the annoying commercials!
Why was early television so terrible for so long?


Alex Trebek voice: Right question for $1000.
  #253  
Old 02-23-2019, 03:06 PM
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Semen transfer by innocent means?
Does restaurant delivery mean inside the building to your door?


'No, I haven't been unfaithful, dear. I felt like Chinese and ordered cream of sum yung guy.'
  #254  
Old 02-24-2019, 09:54 AM
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How long would I last at 50c / 122F?
Fixing my snowblower


...in a heavy winter coat, wearing a wool cap and mittens? Not very long.
  #255  
Old 02-24-2019, 08:51 PM
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12 year old builds working nuclear reactor
Neighbors from hell

It wasn't the reactor that made it hell, it was their ICBM program,
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dogbutler-Not an ax murderer!
I hang out with the Cool kids
  #256  
Old 02-25-2019, 05:56 AM
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"Never speak ill of the dead" doesn't apply to...
The Atheist and the Pastor


"He was a good man, but he's still burning in hell, amirite?"
  #257  
Old 02-25-2019, 07:40 AM
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Separated by a whole bunch of threads, so it's not even close to Sequential, but I still had to put it here:




What words do you or people you know substitute for obscenities and blasphemies?

"Gosh, golly, jeez-oh-pete!"








.
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"

Last edited by CalMeacham; 02-25-2019 at 07:40 AM.
  #258  
Old 02-25-2019, 08:36 AM
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12 year old builds working nuclear reactor
There's a hole in my back, Dear Lisa, a hole!


But on the bright side, your heating bills are waaay down.
  #259  
Old 02-25-2019, 10:16 AM
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Why is prostitution illegal?
Robert Kraft


I bet he's asked that question a lot lately.
  #260  
Old 02-25-2019, 12:38 PM
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Separated by three:



Satan shits out gold and jewels

Why can't these plumbing/sewage systems handle toilet paper?

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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #261  
Old 02-25-2019, 01:20 PM
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Jewel Tea
Satan shits out gold and jewels


and pees out jewel tea.
  #262  
Old 02-25-2019, 02:47 PM
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Suddenly.....For no apparent reason.

I Love My Dentist
  #263  
Old 02-25-2019, 02:47 PM
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Suddenly.....For no apparent reason.
I Love My Dentist


I think we all know the reason: nitrous oxide.
  #264  
Old 02-25-2019, 04:52 PM
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Where did the earth''s wter come from?
Size of bowel movement


"And lo, the Lord experienceth a dreadful case of Diarrhea after eating Mexican food, and cast a Mighty Movement over the earth, filling the oceans, which did stink to high Heaven."
  #265  
Old 02-25-2019, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Where did the earth''s wter come from?
Size of bowel movement
Why am I getting The Wonder Twins in my head now?

'Form of... The Earth!'
'Size of... A bowel movement!'
  #266  
Old 02-25-2019, 06:24 PM
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corn syrup in beer does it matter ?
Trivial, yet controversial views (What are yours)

That's pretty much at the top of my list

Last edited by Kent Clark; 02-25-2019 at 06:24 PM.
  #267  
Old 02-25-2019, 06:49 PM
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How many times have you been a victim of a violent crime?
Is there an alternative to school?


Sounds like your school was pretty violent.
  #268  
Old 02-25-2019, 08:37 PM
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Unemployment - how is eligibility determined
Size of bowel movement


That's a shitty way of doing it.
  #269  
Old 02-25-2019, 10:36 PM
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Alex Honnold can climb a half-mile of sheer vertical rock.
Rocketeer changes the oil in his Fiat


Someone's losing the manhood challenge game
  #270  
Old 02-26-2019, 12:36 AM
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Satan shits out gold and jewels
Neighbors from hell


Check out their outhouse....
  #271  
Old 02-26-2019, 09:15 AM
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Mass Killings in the United States 2019
Paul in Qatar
Welcome to Canadoper Pub, 2019!


Good thing the second thread won't contribute to the first!
  #272  
Old 02-26-2019, 09:43 AM
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Trivial, yet controversial views (What are yours)
Spike Lee protesting the best picture winner....
On The Basis Of Sex


That's not how I heard it.
  #273  
Old 02-26-2019, 03:59 PM
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Size of bowel movement
Effects of stasis on adaptive immunity


I'm regular as clockwork and I haven't had a cold since 1972. Yee-haw!
  #274  
Old 02-27-2019, 08:24 AM
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The only object Jesus made was a whip?
Dead Sea bath salts turning into liquid over time


Dunno what church you go to, but the services sound like a blast.
  #275  
Old 02-27-2019, 02:11 PM
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Poll: For those who have, or had, Universal Health Care
Experience with Anesthesia


If the Death Panels approve it, you get a shot of whiskey and then a cosh to the head to knock you unconscious. Otherwise, you just have to have a few of your friends come with you to the OR and hold you down.
  #276  
Old 02-27-2019, 04:38 PM
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Things Your Parents do that Drive you Nuts
Dumb ATM design


"Jeez, can't you give me my allowance in bitcoin like all the other moms and dads?"
  #277  
Old 02-27-2019, 05:36 PM
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Sushi Is Now Officially Mainstream in the US Midwest
An old lady got pissed at me in a bar last night.


For ordering sushi at the bar?
  #278  
Old 02-27-2019, 10:42 PM
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Sushi Is Now Officially Mainstream in the US Midwest
How Good is Your Color perception?


Midwesterners, here's a tip. If the fish is green and the nori is not, stay away from the sushi.
  #279  
Old 02-27-2019, 10:46 PM
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What could be better than:
It Came From The Crypt (Sequential Threads 2019)
  #280  
Old 02-27-2019, 10:50 PM
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India and Pakistan: tensions escalating
Neighbors from hell


Yep--neighbors with nukes are definitely the worst.
  #281  
Old 02-28-2019, 06:02 AM
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Trivial, yet controversial views (What are yours)
Michael Hutchence was a great singer


You take that back!
  #282  
Old 02-28-2019, 09:36 AM
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What could be better than:
India and Pakistan: tensions escalating


NOTHING, I tell you! (Taps overlord fingers.)
  #283  
Old 02-28-2019, 10:17 AM
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What could be better than:

Spoonful of Sugar Stockholm Syndrome

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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #284  
Old 02-28-2019, 12:16 PM
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How is a human corpse brought through the airport onto a flight?
Does The Digestive System React Badly When A Long-Term Vegan (Years, Decades) Eats Meat?


If you're planning to feed real pork barbecue to Aunt Millie, better just buy her a standby airline ticket.
  #285  
Old 02-28-2019, 12:24 PM
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Are parents who don't push their teenagers to get jobs doing bad by them?
Things Your Parents do that Drive you Nut44
Stupid/Useless rules your work has that nobody follows


My parents are driving me nuts by making me get a job at a place with stupid rules that I will not follow!

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 02-28-2019 at 12:24 PM.
  #286  
Old 02-28-2019, 01:24 PM
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What could be better than:
Sushi Is Now Officially Mainstream in the US Midwest


"Hot damn! I never thought I'd be able to get a decent maguro nigiri roll right here in Dubuque!"
  #287  
Old 02-28-2019, 03:16 PM
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What could be better than:

Neighbors from hell




What, indeed?
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The makers of the GoPro have to come out with a model called the "Quid"
  #288  
Old 02-28-2019, 03:38 PM
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How do the California fires start?
Help me remember - weird bug with a weird name?


That's it - fireflies!
  #289  
Old 02-28-2019, 04:42 PM
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Car windows are always fogging up!
How is a human corpse brought through the airport onto a flight?


If the corpse is still fogging up the window on the drive to the airport he ain't dead yet!
  #290  
Old 02-28-2019, 04:49 PM
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When should a child with a job, no debt, not going to school, but no real savings, leave the house?
Are parents who don't push their teenagers to get jobs doing bad by them?


And besides, we need your room for storage.
  #291  
Old 02-28-2019, 05:13 PM
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50 years since the Apollo moon landings so why no close up pics of the landing sites?
Car windows are always fogging up!


Otherwise I'd have taken plenty of pictures from my space Tesla.
  #292  
Old 03-01-2019, 08:24 AM
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Being the last poster of a thread and then it dies
Science experiment for African high school?


Might be good for poor countries that can't afford lab equipment. But kind of dull for the kiddies.
  #293  
Old 03-01-2019, 02:46 PM
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The only object Jesus made was a whip?
Why the southern district of New York?


Lots of people in Poughkeepsie could use a good scourging.
  #294  
Old 03-02-2019, 03:40 PM
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How has President Trump pissed you off today?
Goodbye, Straight Dope


We'll miss you, PrezThump....NOT!
  #295  
Old 03-03-2019, 11:30 AM
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BIL's antics affecting our bank accounts
Experience with Anesthesia


He's settled down a lot since we started administering regular doses of chloroform.
  #296  
Old 03-03-2019, 11:53 AM
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What are the LAST lines of the book(s) you've just finished?
Hohner's cheap harmonicas


From Down And Out With Leo Epstein:

"I coulda been the greatest blues performer of all time," he sobbed. "if it wasn't for Hohner's cheap harmonicas!"

THE END.
  #297  
Old 03-03-2019, 02:22 PM
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How to guarantee your bread won't get moldy
Question about "Mafia sheets" (printed bed linens)


Nice bread you got there! Shame if it got ... moldy!
  #298  
Old 03-03-2019, 05:03 PM
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When you order carry out from a restaurant, make sure .....
Amy Winehouse is dead
  #299  
Old 03-04-2019, 06:41 AM
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Your close brush with mediocrity
I jumped off the Stratosphere


I just couldn't take all the mediocrity!
  #300  
Old 03-04-2019, 08:39 AM
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Once I post this they will be sequential:

Stuff I never thought I would say ...
I jumped off the Stratosphere
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