Straight Dope Message Board

[Mahaloth]

Originally Posted by Telemark

Was eating the muffin a test to see if a problem was over or resolved, and upon discovering that it wasn't he killed himself?

NO

Originally Posted by Knowed Out

Did eating the muffin somehow make suicide a better experience for the man? NO
Was the butter used for another purpose besides being spread on the muffin? NO
Did the muffin contain something? NO
If so, did the man find it after taking a bite? NO

Theory: somebody put a bullet in the muffin and the guy was in a jail cell, deciding that suicide was better than his eventual punishment.

NO to your theory

Originally Posted by Fretful Porpentine

Is his motivation for committing suicide relevant? YES

Did the medical condition have an impact on his motivation (e.g. he committed suicide because he was depressed, or just didn't want to live with his condition any more)?

He did not want to live with his condition anymore.


Did it have an impact on the WAY he committed suicide?

NO

Might a person without this condition have also committed suicide under similar circumstances?

YES. I mean, lots of people have shot themselves over the years, which is what I believe has been revealed to be the case here.

Would such a person have eaten half a muffin first?

OK, I think this case is unique or would be if this is not a true story.

Originally Posted by Max S.

Was the man a diabetic? NO
Was he depressed? NO(???) Maybe, I'm not sure.
Did he have an eating disorder? Well.....YES(not anorexia or bulemia....)
Did he resolve to test his restraint by placing muffins in front of him but forbidding himself to eat them, to shoot himself if he gave in? NO
Was the man alone when he shot himself? YES

~Max

I may reveal the answer tonight. It's not my favorite and may just be a groaner for you guys. Anyone have one for after this one? 101

[Ignotus]

Did the man bake the muffins himself?

Was the man severely malnourished?

Did the man feel free to go outside?

Was other food available, which the man would have accepted?

Was the man's mental disorder something like paranoia or OCD?

(I'm thinking, of course, of the famous mathematician Kurt Gödel's strange and bizarre death -- which, however, didn't involve any shooting.) 102

[Crafter_Man]

Did the man have OCD? Was he obsessed with counting or numbers? 103

[Mahaloth]

Originally Posted by Ignotus

Did the man bake the muffins himself? IRRELEVANT

Was the man severely malnourished? NO

Did the man feel free to go outside? IRRELEVANT

Was other food available, which the man would have accepted? NO

Was the man's mental disorder something like paranoia or OCD? NO

(I'm thinking, of course, of the famous mathematician Kurt Gödel's strange and bizarre death -- which, however, didn't involve any shooting.)

Originally Posted by Crafter_Man

Did the man have OCD? Was he obsessed with counting or numbers?

NO 104

[Mahaloth]

This puzzle isn't good enough to go on this long. I'm going to reveal because it really is not that great in my opinion.

SPOILER:

He loved buttered muffins, but they gave him severe indigestion. In his extreme desire to have them(to the point of crazy delusion), he decided to shoot himself and eat the muffins, knowing it would at least prevent him from suffering the indigestion. It killed him.

I know, not great. But there it is.

I'm sure I can find a (better) one, but does anyone else have a good one? 105

[Fretful Porpentine]

OK, I'll have a try at posing one:

If only the angry man had said something else, it would save $800 million a year.

What did he say? 106

[Mahaloth]

Originally Posted by Fretful Porpentine

If only the angry man had said something else, it would save $800 million a year.

What did he say?

Would it save the angry man $800 million a year?

Would it save a company the $800 million?

Is the angry man a real man? 107

[Fretful Porpentine]

Originally Posted by Mahaloth

Would it save the angry man $800 million a year?

No.

Would it save a company the $800 million?

No.

Is the angry man a real man?

Yes -- more or less. 108

[Mahaloth]

Does $800 million in your question mean 800,000,000 U.S. dollars? 109

[Telemark]

Would it save the government $800 million?

Would is save the general public $800 million?

Was the money lost because someone else heard what the angry man said and took action as a result? 110

[Chronos]

Was what the man said an expression of his anger?
Was what he said a declarative statement?
Was what he said an imperative?
Was what he said a question?
Was what he said a matter of fact?
Was what he said a matter of opinion?
Was the angry man in a position of authority?
Was the angry man in a position of sufficient authority that he would ordinarily have control of hundreds of millions of dollars?
Was the angry man involved in politics?
Was the angry man involved in business? 111

[Knowed Out]

Was he angry over a financial issue?
Was he angry over a health issue?
Was he angry because something needed repairing?
Was he angry over a relationship or family issue?
Was he angry because something was misplaced?
Was he angry because his coworkers and managers are incompetent idiots and don't listen to him? 112

[Fretful Porpentine]

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to these! Busy day!

Does $800 million in your question mean 800,000,000 U.S. dollars? Yes.

Would it save the government $800 million? No, though it would likely save the government some part of that amount.

Would is save the general public $800 million? Yes.

Was the money lost because someone else heard what the angry man said and took action as a result? Yes.

Was what the man said an expression of his anger? Yes.

Was what he said a declarative statement? Yes.

Was what he said an imperative? No.

Was what he said a question? No.

Was what he said a matter of fact? No.

Was what he said a matter of opinion? Yes, pretty much.

Was the angry man in a position of authority? Yes.

Was the angry man in a position of sufficient authority that he would ordinarily have control of hundreds of millions of dollars? No.

Was the angry man involved in politics? Yes.

Was the angry man involved in business? No.

Was he angry over a financial issue? Hmm, tricky. This is not how I would primarily characterize it, although finances were involved.

Was he angry over a health issue? No.

Was he angry because something needed repairing? No.

Was he angry over a relationship or family issue? Yes.

Was he angry because something was misplaced? No.

Was he angry because his coworkers and managers are incompetent idiots... No.

... and don't listen to him? Yes-ish. 113

[eschrodinger]

Was the statement by the angry man one that:

denied people access to something?
denied the use of something tangible?
denied intangible rights to something, like a copyright or patent?
claimed responsibility for something or someone?
disclaimed responsibility for something or someone?
gave access or rights to something?

Is the $800 million an ongoing expense every year, in perpetuity? Does it vary? Does it vary with inflation? Does it vary with population? If it varies, does it consistently increase, or decrease, or is not consistent in that way? 114

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the statement by the angry man one that:

denied people access to something?
denied the use of something tangible?
denied intangible rights to something, like a copyright or patent?
claimed responsibility for something or someone?
disclaimed responsibility for something or someone?
gave access or rights to something?

No to all of these.

Is the $800 million an ongoing expense every year, in perpetuity? Yes (but with variance in the exact amount, see below).

Does it vary? Yes.

Does it vary with inflation? Probably.

Does it vary with population? Most likely yes.

If it varies, does it consistently increase, or decrease, or is not consistent in that way? It is not consistent. 115

[Mahaloth]

Did this involve PBS funding?

Did it involve Fred Rogers?

I'm shooting for the time Fred Rogers saved PBS with his plea to congress. 116

[Fretful Porpentine]

Did this involve PBS funding? No.

Did it involve Fred Rogers? No. 117

[Peter Morris]

Is it something to do with worn-out bills being recycled? 118

[Fretful Porpentine]

Is it something to do with worn-out bills being recycled? No. 119

[Knowed Out]

Did Mr. Angry get divorced recently?
Is Mr. Angry wealthy?
Did Mr. Angry misunderstand something?
Did somebody misunderstand something about Mr. Angry? 120

[Personal]

Was the angry man one member of a group of persons? 121

[Fretful Porpentine]

Did Mr. Angry get divorced recently? No.

Is Mr. Angry wealthy? Yes.

Did Mr. Angry misunderstand something? No

Did somebody misunderstand something about Mr. Angry? No. 122

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the angry man one member of a group of persons? Could you clarify? I mean, everyone is one member of a group of persons a lot of the time, but I assume you mean something more specific? 123

[Folly]

Is/was the angry man president of the USA?

I the angry man Trump? 124

[Fretful Porpentine]

Is/was the angry man president of the USA? No.

I the angry man Trump? No. 125

[Aspidistra]

Is the $800 mil part of the cost of the US military?
Part of the cost of Social Security?
Part of the cost of some other govnment program?
To do with health care? 126

[Fretful Porpentine]

Is the $800 mil part of the cost of the US military?
Part of the cost of Social Security?
Part of the cost of some other govnment program?
To do with health care?

No to all. 127

[panache45]

Was the money saved by one or more Americans?
Is the angry man a non-American?
Did he say something threatening to an American?
Was he speaking to a high-profile American?
Did he take off his shoe and pound it on a table? 128

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the money saved by one or more Americans? The money was lost by one or more Americans, and would have been saved by them had the man said something else.

Is the angry man a non-American? Yes.

Did he say something threatening ... Yes.

... to an American? No.

Was he speaking to a high-profile American? No.

Did he take off his shoe and pound it on a table? No. 129

[panache45]

Was the man the head or representative of his country?

Did he say it to a high-profile American official?

Would it help if we knew what country he was from?

Would it help if we knew when or where he said it? 130

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the man the head or representative of his country? No.

Did he say it to a high-profile American official? No.

Would it help if we knew what country he was from? Yes.

Would it help if we knew when or where he said it? Yes. 131

[Telemark]

Was the angry man from a European country?
Was the angry man from a Soviet Block country?
Was the angry man from an Asian Country? 132

[panache45]

Did he say it before 1950?

Did he say it to an American industrialist? 133

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the angry man from a European country? Yes.

Was the angry man from a Soviet Block country? No.

Was the angry man from an Asian Country? No.

Did he say it before 1950? Yes.

Did he say it to an American industrialist? No. 134

[Peter Morris]

Is this to do with paying off instalments or interest on a debt?

Is this an expense incurred as the result of war? 135

[Peter Morris]

Was the angry man Hitler? 136

[Fretful Porpentine]

Note: I'm going to assume the "this" in the next couple of questions refers specifically to the $800 million, and answer accordingly. Without giving too much away, I can anticipate some additional situations where ambiguities are likely to arise. I'm going to make my answers as literally accurate as possible, according to how questions are actually phrased, but be aware that questions that are worded slightly differently may produce seemingly contradictory answers.

Is this to do with paying off instalments or interest on a debt? No.

Is this an expense incurred as the result of war? No.

Was the angry man Hitler? No. 137

[panache45]

Was the angry man from either Germany or The Soviet Union (or Russia)?
Did he say it before 1930?
Did the angry man survive more than a year after he said it? 138

[Fretful Porpentine]

Was the angry man from either Germany or The Soviet Union (or Russia)? No.

Did he say it before 1930? Yes.

Did the angry man survive more than a year after he said it? No. 139

[Mahaloth]

Did this take place in the following decades:

1770's-1930's: (Please tell me which decade you would say "yes" to) 140

[Fretful Porpentine]

Recap time?

The angry man was (more or less) a real man. He was in a position of authority, though not one where he would normally have control of hundreds of millions of dollars. He was involved in politics. He was not involved in business. He was not American, Asian, president of the USA, or Donald Trump. He was not the representative of his country. He was European, but not from Russia, Germany, or a Soviet bloc country. He was not Hitler. He did not take off his shoe and pound it on a table. He did not survive for more than a year after his statement.

He was not angry over a health issue, because something needed repairing, because something was misplaced, or because his co-workers and managers were incompetent idiots. He was angry over a matter that involved family or relationships and (to some extent) finance. He was angry at not being listened to.

The thing that he said was a declarative statement that expressed his anger, and primarily a matter of opinion rather than fact. It was not a question or an imperative. It was not a statement that denied people access to something, denied the use of something tangible, denied intangible rights to something, claimed or disclaimed responsibility for something, or gave access or rights to something. It was a threat, but not against an American. He was not speaking to a high-profile American, or to an American industrialist. He said it before 1930.

The loss of money is because somebody heard what the angry man said and took action as a result.

$800 million means 800 million US dollars. The loss of $800 million is borne by the general public, not a specific company or, primarily, the government (although the government may be paying part of it). It is an ongoing expense that fluctuates from year to year, in ways that are not consistent. Inflation and population have some effect on the fluctuation. The money is lost by Americans. It is not part of the cost of the US military, social security, government programs, or related to health care. The expense is not due to war or paying off installments or interest on a debt.

The situation does not involve PBS funding, Fred Rogers, or worn-out bills being recycled. 141

[Fretful Porpentine]

Did this take place in the following decades:

1770's-1930's: (Please tell me which decade you would say "yes" to) This is very difficult to answer. Some of the relevant events took place in the 1890s. Others did not take place during these years at all. 142

[Mahaloth]

Did he only lose $800 million when adjusted for inflation?

Did it involve the purchase of land? 143

[Fretful Porpentine]

Did he only lose $800 million when adjusted for inflation? No, the loss is ongoing, in the present day.

Did it involve the purchase of land? No. 144

[panache45]

Did the angry man actually SAY the thing, verbally, with his mouth?
Did the angry man WRITE what he said?
Was what he said of a philosophical nature?
Did it have economic implications?
Was what he said a result of his anger?
If he hadn't been angry, would he still have said it? 145

[Chronos]

(BTW, I think I might have one after this one is finished) 146

[Fretful Porpentine]

Did the angry man actually SAY the thing, verbally, with his mouth? It was a verbal utterance.

Did the angry man WRITE what he said? No.

Was what he said of a philosophical nature? No.

Did it have economic implications? No.

Was what he said a result of his anger? Yes.

If he hadn't been angry, would he still have said it? No. 147

[eschrodinger]

Does this "more or less" real person have a real mouth that can make sounds in the real world?
Is the person a character in some sort of artistic work? (Fiction or nonfiction)
An automaton of some kind?
A role or title more than an individual holding the title?

Is the money that is lost spent on some kind of consumer good?
On some other kind of property?
On a service? 148

[Fretful Porpentine]

Heh, FINALLY someone followed up on the "more or less" answer!

Does this "more or less" real person have a real mouth that can make sounds in the real world? Yes.

Is the person a character in some sort of artistic work? (Fiction or nonfiction) Yes.

An automaton of some kind? No.

A role or title more than an individual holding the title? No.

Is the money that is lost spent on some kind of consumer good?
On some other kind of property?
On a service?

None of these is the primary cause of the loss, although some part of the loss may involve expenditures on some or all of these things. 149

[Mahaloth]

Is this a character in fiction?

Is this a character in nonfiction

Did angry man really exist in the real world?

Does this involve royalties?

Does this involve copyright? 150