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  #501  
Old 04-18-2019, 03:31 PM
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Mueller report is done
Anyone wanna talk banjo?


Cause now there's nothing to talk about now that the report is done.
  #502  
Old 04-20-2019, 09:33 AM
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420 day advertising
Pharmaceutical commercials.


Medical marijuana is legal, man.
  #503  
Old 04-20-2019, 12:19 PM
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What's the "next thing" in Islamic terrorism?
Suicide should be legalized


"We could recruit lots more suicide bombers if they knew they wouldn't be prosecuted."
  #504  
Old 04-20-2019, 12:24 PM
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Why is America so fat?
Strange bird behavior


There's a raven who keeps bringing me Moon Pies, and I can't get him to stop.
  #505  
Old 04-20-2019, 03:33 PM
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My vision is getting worse, possible causes
Why does my dog smell like pee?


That big fuzzy white thing? That wasn't the toilet, that was Towser.
  #506  
Old 04-20-2019, 04:44 PM
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Examples of inventions that seem like a good idea but turned out to be worthless
"Fun" Cremation Urns


They weren't really that much fun.
  #507  
Old 04-20-2019, 05:59 PM
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Northwest Passage question
Why is America so fat?


We could've squeezed through, if it wasn't for that last quarter-pounder.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfpup View Post
My vision is getting worse, possible causes
Why does my dog smell like pee?


That big fuzzy white thing? That wasn't the toilet, that was Towser.

Last edited by Jackmannii; 04-20-2019 at 06:00 PM.
  #508  
Old 04-20-2019, 06:35 PM
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long-term residents in hotels
Who is this coffee-spitting woman?


The difficult lives of the itinerant proletariat.

Why you cannot take someone else's ball(s) and go home
Tourist unaware of the first rule of Australia


First rule of Australia: Keep your hands to yourself!
  #509  
Old 04-20-2019, 08:27 PM
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What is the "statute of limitations" for expressing condolences for someone's loss of a loved one?

"Fun" Cremation Urns

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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #510  
Old 04-21-2019, 09:48 AM
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Cowboy Action Shooting Question
Best place to purchase Euros?


That was a key plot element in "The Good, The Bad, and the Mediocre Exchange Rate". God, I hate these modern remakes.
  #511  
Old 04-21-2019, 11:39 AM
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Since these two have lined up again...


Why is America so fat?
Strange bird behavior


"It's still hungry...and I've been stuffing worms into it all day."
  #512  
Old 04-21-2019, 11:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Cowboy Action Shooting Question
Best place to purchase Euros?


That was a key plot element in "The Good, The Bad, and the Mediocre Exchange Rate". God, I hate these modern remakes.
Still a better plot than Episode 1.
  #513  
Old 04-21-2019, 12:42 PM
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Why is America so fat?
Very Large Microchips


But they're so damn good.
  #514  
Old 04-22-2019, 12:18 AM
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WA senator says nurses probably play cards much of the day
Washington State senator is an idiot!


Yes. Yes, she is.

(Those two threads are, in fact, actually about the same remark by the same state senator from Washington.)
  #515  
Old 04-22-2019, 04:31 AM
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Incel question
Do you trust your dentist?


No, 'cause his first name is Chad.
  #516  
Old 04-22-2019, 01:29 PM
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Pharmaceutical commercials.
Help me pick a new name


Eliquis if it's a boy, Keytruda if it's a girl.
  #517  
Old 04-22-2019, 03:32 PM
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What are you proud of today?
Being the last poster of a thread and then it dies
I'm a Super Hero!


I don't care who plays Threadkiller in the upcoming blockbuster movie, as long as it isn't Will Ferrell.
  #518  
Old 04-22-2019, 06:14 PM
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So, how do we deal with retaliation if impeached?
I have bees.


Oooh, diabolical. I like it!
  #519  
Old 04-22-2019, 07:15 PM
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Separated by one:


Do you trust your dentist?

My dentist told me "You don't have cancer"
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #520  
Old 04-22-2019, 09:46 PM
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What are you proud of today?
Washington State senator is an idiot!


Ha! Take THAT, Oregonian Morans!
  #521  
Old 04-23-2019, 08:04 AM
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How Do You Define 'e'?
Ch]
Chalking Tires


It's the derivative of the curve when you're Ch-chalking tires.
  #522  
Old 04-23-2019, 11:35 AM
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Worst episode of Seinfeld is...

The FULL Caesars dog food commercial



It's about NOTHING!


"No dog food for you!"
-- The Dog Food Nazi
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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  #523  
Old 04-23-2019, 11:37 AM
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I have bees.

I'm thinking I want to start smelling nicer



Try to avoid smelling like a flower....
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #524  
Old 04-24-2019, 08:16 AM
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Cases where a populace has panicked
Back when cell phones were forbidden in hospitals "because they interfered with equipment"...


I think the populace panicked about cell phones.

Last edited by Ludovic; 04-24-2019 at 08:16 AM.
  #525  
Old 04-24-2019, 08:38 AM
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[b] Movies that don't care that the replacement doesn't at all Resemble the Original
"I never saw the movie, but I read the Mad parody"]b]

And they pointed out the replacement did not at all resemble the original
  #526  
Old 04-24-2019, 09:48 AM
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Were the any ways in which "the olden days" were better than today?
What are your dearest pieces of old electric/electronical hardware?


Nothing beats listening to "Come Josephine In My Flying Machine" on my Victrola, though they give me funny looks at the airport.
  #527  
Old 04-24-2019, 10:42 AM
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"Fun" Cremation Urns
I'm a Super Hero!


AshMan rescues another boring funeral.
  #528  
Old 04-24-2019, 12:19 PM
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What do you wake up to?
Uber Dreams
  #529  
Old 04-24-2019, 05:22 PM
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The sitting president of the United States of America tweeted this...
The knives make me sad.


That's one of the saner things he's tweeted recently.
  #530  
Old 04-25-2019, 06:35 AM
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Ride a wild horse ...

Girlfriend cant walk after orgasm




These would be SOOOOOOO much better if reversed....
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #531  
Old 04-25-2019, 07:18 AM
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Movies with 'Quitting a Job' as the Main Theme

Public information films





[Silhouette of row of seat backs in foreground. Old, tattered 16 mm sound film begins to play, flutteringly, with titles saying "Encyclopedia Brittanica Films presents...". Silhouette of Mike and the 'bots entering and sitting down]

Crow: Another Educational film! Yay!
Title: "Quitting your job"
Tom Servo: "The Richard Nixon Story"
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte

Last edited by CalMeacham; 04-25-2019 at 07:19 AM.
  #532  
Old 04-25-2019, 07:32 AM
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The Falsetto Playlist

Explain the Eurovision Song Competition to me
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #533  
Old 04-25-2019, 09:46 AM
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Strange bird behavior

Flight of the Phoenix - was the improvised rescue plane possible?
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #534  
Old 04-25-2019, 10:08 AM
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What's For Dinner? (spring '19 edition)

Let's talk "steak au poivre".



"Hey! This steak au poivre has pepper all over it!"
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #535  
Old 04-25-2019, 11:03 AM
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Incel question
What do you wake up to?


Probably a tossup between "Jessie's Girl" and "Every Breath You Take".
  #536  
Old 04-25-2019, 12:31 PM
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The sitting president of the United States of America tweeted this...
What Shall I do in Halifax NS?


It obviously wasn't written by him.
  #537  
Old 04-25-2019, 02:16 PM
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You're Invited! But, Is This Tacky?
Head halter or front ring harness for large, enthusiastic dog -- which is better?


Neither: they're both tacky if you require your guests to wear them.
  #538  
Old 04-25-2019, 04:52 PM
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What's in your medicine cabinet?
"Fun" Cremation Urns


Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts Marching Song
Be prepared! As through life you march along*

*Tom Lehrer
  #539  
Old 04-26-2019, 06:32 AM
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Ride a wild horse ...

Critter Cam out back.







What Shall I do in Halifax NS?

I didn't listen

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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #540  
Old 04-26-2019, 07:31 AM
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More music like this?

Explain the Eurovision Song Competition to me

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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #541  
Old 04-26-2019, 02:27 PM
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Chalking Tires

Spacesaver spare tire specifics



Using chalk doesn't save you any space; neither does leaving it off.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #542  
Old 04-27-2019, 09:02 AM
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Which Hell would be worse for you?
How has the Trump administration negatively affected you?


It's been hell.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 04-27-2019 at 09:02 AM.
  #543  
Old 04-27-2019, 01:28 PM
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I usually don't approve of obscenities on clothing, but...
What Shall I do in Halifax NS?


Wearing a "Fuck Halifax" sweatshirt gets you a 20% discount at all the best restaurants.
  #544  
Old 04-28-2019, 06:20 PM
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California synagogue shooting (breaking)
In which Sicks Ate does a thing that ends up costing him $12,500.


Did they take away his permit too?
  #545  
Old 04-29-2019, 07:34 AM
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Appalling Sanitary Practices of the Middle Ages
I would like to see a new term for Universal Health Care/Coverage


Yeah, that's kind of a turn-off. And it's not going to be reassuring to have oxcarts passing by the O.R. with shouts of "Bring out your dead!".
  #546  
Old 04-29-2019, 08:18 AM
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NJ high school does a play version of Alien

shall I go see a Broadway play?


Why bother, when you can go to a High School in New Jersey and watch Alien?
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #547  
Old 04-29-2019, 08:45 AM
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Have we finally hit a wall as a species?
Drywall repair: Arrrrghhhh


You wouldn't have to repair it if you didn't keep hitting it.
  #548  
Old 04-29-2019, 11:30 AM
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Just spotted this pair:

Beckdawrek and the Siamese and a bad, bad, bad adventure!

Why do women feel a need to tell me their troubles?
  #549  
Old 04-29-2019, 12:19 PM
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is there any way to develop a “support system” when you’re middle-aged and “set in your ways”?
Grandchildlandia!


They won't think you're set in your ways.
  #550  
Old 04-29-2019, 01:14 PM
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Were the any ways in which "the olden days" were better than today?
The Future is Always "Worse"


Well thanks, Grandpa. Anyone else want to weigh in?
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