Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 07-30-2016, 02:47 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
Knorf is always clearing his throat. Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knor f...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf..... Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf. ....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Kn orf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf.... ..Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf ......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......K norf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.... ...Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf .......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......Knorf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...Knorf......K norf.......Knorf......Knorf.....Knorf...

WILL YOU PLEASE KNOCK IT OFFF??
  #102  
Old 07-30-2016, 02:59 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 3,753
Annie-Xmas was the original drummer for the Butthole Surfers, but left when they sold out to the Man.
  #103  
Old 07-30-2016, 03:30 PM
CheshireKat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: on a peaceful little farm
Posts: 8,761
Slow Moving Vehicle declares his seven gerbils (Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Dopey, Sleepy, Daryl and Daryl) as dependents on his tax return.

Last edited by CheshireKat; 07-30-2016 at 03:32 PM.
  #104  
Old 07-30-2016, 05:49 PM
John DiFool's Avatar
John DiFool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 18,109
CK likes to look into other people's apartments at night with her gleaming ear to ear smile, charming the socks off of them all...
  #105  
Old 07-30-2016, 08:41 PM
Knorf is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Living the Dream
Posts: 8,583
John DiFool is a total math geek, having published numerous ground-breaking mathematics papers, all from the basement of his sister's house, where he subsists on grilled-cheese sandwiches and cheap beer.
  #106  
Old 07-30-2016, 08:56 PM
joyfool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Texas
Posts: 9,813

Make up a rumour about the above user


Knorf is best friends with a fellow in his employ, Chefguy. So while the former is clearing his throat, "knorf knorf knorf," the other is preparing Swedish meatballs, "bork bork bork." After they leave work, they're getting tandem tattoos of a fork at a place in Newark. That's near the trendy club Stork, that sells only pork to not just any old dork.

I think I'll go back now and lork. I mean lurk.

Last edited by joyfool; 07-30-2016 at 08:57 PM.
  #107  
Old 07-30-2016, 10:44 PM
elfkin477 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 22,624
faithfool once spent three weeks in a bathysphere exploring what might've made the Cuyahoga river catch on fire.
  #108  
Old 07-31-2016, 12:16 AM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 3,753
Elfkin has six toes. On each finger.
  #109  
Old 07-31-2016, 09:36 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,736
Slow Moving Vehicle's right pinkie toe was run over by a Zamboni, hence his name.
  #110  
Old 07-31-2016, 09:52 AM
CheshireKat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: on a peaceful little farm
Posts: 8,761
Intergalactic Gladiator is the inventor of the best trash bag in the universe.
  #111  
Old 07-31-2016, 10:10 AM
GaryM's Avatar
GaryM is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: St. Louis, MO 50mi. West
Posts: 5,129
CheshireCat was actually Alice's lover.
__________________
GaryM
  #112  
Old 07-31-2016, 11:18 AM
John DiFool's Avatar
John DiFool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 18,109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knorf View Post
John DiFool is a total math geek, having published numerous ground-breaking mathematics papers, all from the basement of his sister's house, where he subsists on grilled-cheese sandwiches and cheap beer.
I am a math teacher, and can at least write some math programs on my calculator. Doc told me to cut out the cholesterol tho (and I have), and I have been a lifelong teetotaler, now a blueberry juice junkie.


GaryM: The "M" stands for "miasma"...
  #113  
Old 07-31-2016, 01:03 PM
joyfool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Texas
Posts: 9,813
John is my alter ego. I trot him out when I wish to be a boy. He burps better, can reach stuff on the top shelf and allows me to play in his size 13 Reeboks.
  #114  
Old 07-31-2016, 01:58 PM
PoppaSan's Avatar
PoppaSan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: West shore Lake Michigan
Posts: 2,276
Faithfool was a Trump Party delegate to Cleveland.
  #115  
Old 07-31-2016, 02:18 PM
joyfool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Texas
Posts: 9,813

Make up a rumour about the above user


No fair. I quit.

Last edited by joyfool; 07-31-2016 at 02:19 PM.
  #116  
Old 07-31-2016, 02:20 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 83,287
PoppaSan had an Italian dad and a Japanese mom, and a half-brother who was Serbian-French-Nigerian-Singaporean. They never met.
  #117  
Old 07-31-2016, 08:21 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 3,753
Elendil's Heir was employed by Peter Jackson as a consultant on The Return of the King, but was dismissed for "repeatedly and inappropriately touching" Orlando Bloom's wig.
  #118  
Old 07-31-2016, 08:32 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,527
Due to some..."unpleasantness" at the library, Slow Moving Vehicle can never go back.
  #119  
Old 07-31-2016, 09:14 PM
Walken After Midnight is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 4,472
snfaulkner played Rutger Hauer in the 1985 movie Ladyhawke.
  #120  
Old 07-31-2016, 10:01 PM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,345
If you feed Christopher Walken after midnight, you get Walken After Midnight.
  #121  
Old 08-01-2016, 08:21 AM
John DiFool's Avatar
John DiFool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 18,109
The "m" stands for Mumblety-peg.
  #122  
Old 08-01-2016, 10:24 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,736
John DiFool was in a transporter accident and got fused with McDonalds advertising character Grimace. The result created Barney the Dinosaur.
  #123  
Old 08-01-2016, 10:54 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 83,287
Intergalactic Gladiator has been banned from the fighting pits of 744 worlds by last count of the Intergalactic Gladiatorial Commission. He has been repeatedly cited for unsportsmanlike conduct, use of unapproved poison, mispronounced alien profanity, and poor oral hygiene.
  #124  
Old 08-02-2016, 07:17 AM
Gyrate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Greater Croydonia
Posts: 23,193
Elendil's Heir had his third nipple surgically removed, but decided to keep the fourth, fifth and sixth ones.
  #125  
Old 08-02-2016, 09:34 AM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 41,538
Gyrate is a dervish.

Last edited by Nava; 08-02-2016 at 09:37 AM.
  #126  
Old 08-02-2016, 10:28 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,736
Every December, Nava sings holiday songs but changes the lyrics to fit her name, Feliz Navadad and Nava Nagila are her two favorites.

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 08-02-2016 at 10:28 AM.
  #127  
Old 08-02-2016, 04:49 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,527
Intergalactic Gladiator was kicked out of GWAR for not being bloody enough.
  #128  
Old 08-02-2016, 05:38 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
snfaulkner has devised a machine to measure the healthfulness factor of snot and other bodily fluids.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 08-02-2016 at 05:38 PM.
  #129  
Old 08-02-2016, 07:35 PM
Slow Moving Vehicle's Avatar
Slow Moving Vehicle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 3,753
Ironically, Annie-Xmas is Jewish.
  #130  
Old 08-02-2016, 08:04 PM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,345
Slow Moving Vehicle smells of elderberries.
  #131  
Old 08-02-2016, 08:36 PM
Knorf is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Living the Dream
Posts: 8,583
davidm's mother was a hamster.
  #132  
Old 08-02-2016, 09:02 PM
gkster is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,820
Knorf auditioned for the role of Mork in "Mork and Mindy". He was escorted from the studio after a fistfight with the show's producers when they refused to change the show's title to "Knorf and Mindy".

Last edited by gkster; 08-02-2016 at 09:02 PM.
  #133  
Old 08-02-2016, 09:45 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 83,287
gkster can converse with squirrels, but only when they're in heat, and only in leap years.
  #134  
Old 08-03-2016, 12:43 AM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,345
Elendil's Heir was born in Kenya and refuses to release his long form birth certificate.
  #135  
Old 08-03-2016, 03:53 AM
Gyrate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Greater Croydonia
Posts: 23,193
davidm holds the honorary title of "Poopmaster General of Brunei". He doesn't like to brag about it, but sometimes at night in his bedroom he'll admire himself in the full-length mirror, wearing nothing but the official Poopmaster General hat.
  #136  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:03 AM
davidm's Avatar
davidm is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Near Philadelphia PA, USA
Posts: 12,345
Gyrate has a brain condition which causes him to spread silly rumors.
  #137  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:34 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
davidm has a bowel condition which causes him to poop up to 19 times a day. Hence the honorary title of "Poopmaster General of Brunei".
  #138  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:37 AM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 41,538
Annie-Xmas was born and has several IMDB credits under the name Ann-Marie Michaelmas.
  #139  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:42 AM
Gyrate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Greater Croydonia
Posts: 23,193
Nava holds the patent for a device that knits mittens out of extra-long live earthworms. Unfortunately, her "Wigglemittens" business has yet to find any investors.
  #140  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:43 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 56,199
Gyrate was the admiral of a fleet of yellow submarines back in the 60's.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 08-03-2016 at 08:43 AM. Reason: oh, well
  #141  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:55 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
Prof. Pepperwinkle owns a chain of herbal treatment centers in Blawnox, PA.
  #142  
Old 08-03-2016, 08:55 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,736
Prof. Pepperwinkle does not actually have a doctorate but he does have a Masters degree (in science!). It hasn't been confirmed whether or not he actually likes pepper but he has been known to wink from time to time.

Annie-Xmas is a ninja.

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 08-03-2016 at 08:55 AM.
  #143  
Old 08-03-2016, 09:17 AM
Northern Piper is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Location: The snow is gone. For now
Posts: 28,978
Intergalactic Gladiator once collided with the Silver Surfer in the course of their respective galactic travels, and damaged the surfboard.

However, they exchanged insurance info and they're cool.
  #144  
Old 08-03-2016, 09:18 AM
Gyrate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Greater Croydonia
Posts: 23,193
Northern Piper has the amazing ability to recite War and Peace in Russian from memory in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried, and makes a comfortable living by demonstrating this talent loudly in public places until paid to go away.
  #145  
Old 08-03-2016, 09:22 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
Gyrate has been known to be angry and hungry, but never eatgry

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 08-03-2016 at 09:22 AM.
  #146  
Old 08-03-2016, 09:39 AM
Gyrate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Greater Croydonia
Posts: 23,193
Through a series of adminstrative errors Annie-Xmas has been officially designated a National Park. While this confers certain tax advantages, she is required to maintain and be accompanied by a staff of six park rangers at all times.
  #147  
Old 08-03-2016, 10:04 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator's Avatar
Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 10,736
Gyrate likes to build elaborate and detailed models of skyscrapers that are about waist high then film himself kicking them over while wearing only his underwear and roaring like Godzilla.
  #148  
Old 08-03-2016, 11:52 AM
Biotop's Avatar
Biotop is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Faber, VA
Posts: 8,070
Intergalactic Gladiator listens to "You Light Up My Life" over and over and over again while staring lovingly at his extensive collection of Thomas Kincade prints.
  #149  
Old 08-03-2016, 04:30 PM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,016
Biotop never scored above a C-minus in biology or topology.
  #150  
Old 08-03-2016, 09:21 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 83,287
Annie-Xmas was until very recently deputy registrar of Western Blawnox State University, where Biotop was enrolled. She was fired earlier today for releasing confidential student-grade information without official authorization.

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 08-03-2016 at 09:21 PM.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017