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  #51  
Old 06-04-2019, 01:38 PM
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That's in Jailbirds 3: 6 to 12 Inches for Bad Behavior
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  #52  
Old 06-04-2019, 02:07 PM
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Well? What happened then?
He fixes the cable?
  #53  
Old 06-04-2019, 03:08 PM
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Porn it's just receiving satisfaction from watching something you're never gonna experience. Cartoon sex, sex with Jenna Jameson, eating a quadruple cheeseburger with a fried egg, bacon and jalapenos...
Ever watched any Mukbang?
  #54  
Old 06-04-2019, 03:17 PM
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Sex is ridiculous.

You make funny faces. Your bodies make funny squelching noises, or farting noises. You sweat. Goo winds up everywhere. In real life there's trying to arrange limbs for maximum comfort while making squelchy, farty noises (this only gets worse with age and loss of flexibility). And it's over fairly quickly leaving (usually) one party snoring and the other going through various lists of things to do or contemplating what color to paint the ceiling next.
And people act like asexuals are the weird ones.
  #55  
Old 06-04-2019, 06:00 PM
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Ever watched any Mukbang?
There is a YouTube channel called Jon Eats Carrots.

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"Jon Eats Carrots" is the internet's premier carrot eating series. The show that unlocked the web's passion for eating carrots.
  #56  
Old 06-04-2019, 07:55 PM
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Sex is ridiculous.

And it's over fairly quickly leaving (usually) one party snoring and the other going through various lists of things to do or contemplating what color to paint the ceiling next.
Which is better than one party contemplating what color to paint the ceiling during the act.
And there used to be some (incredibly sexist) Jewish American Princess jokes on this very subject.
  #57  
Old 06-04-2019, 11:03 PM
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I've noticed that porn is being infilterated by cartoon / henta porn. Which is simultaneously pornagraphic and not anatomically accurate.
YES!
The infiltration is quite subtle and only appeared in recent years.
Why, just *look* at those murals in the brothels of Pompeii.
They show silly caricatures of half-men, half-goat "satyrs" fornicating with good decent people!
.
And the "good roman citizens" who create this filth excuse it by claiming that they are merely depicting "more than 3000 years of Greek Mythology".
Scandalous!!

<comments on Aurelius Osctructus, circa 23 AD>
  #58  
Old 06-05-2019, 01:54 PM
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Well? What happened then?
He gets off on a technicality.
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  #59  
Old 06-05-2019, 04:53 PM
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Ridiculous? Now? Do you know what the "plot" of Deep Throat was?

Wikipedia on the plot. NSFW, of course.

  #60  
Old 06-05-2019, 05:46 PM
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The nice thing about cartoon porn is, you never have to worry that the people you're jerking it to are only doing it because they're struggling with addiction, or were forced into it by an abusive SO, or are dealing with debilitating mental illness.
  #61  
Old 06-05-2019, 06:56 PM
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Yet they still feel the need to put a disclaimer on the label that all characters are over 18.
Come on, it's ink on a cel or bits in a CGI package...

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Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
He gets off on a technicality.
Well played. Full marks.

Last edited by JRDelirious; 06-05-2019 at 07:01 PM.
  #62  
Old 06-05-2019, 09:32 PM
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You will hardly ever see mainstream western pornography employing toys, for instance.

....

If anything, modern western pornography has barely changed since the 90's. Same old camera angles, same old excuses for a plot, if there's any, same music and glossy camera filters...
I see women with vibrators and dildos all the time in mainstream Western porn. You really "hardly ever" see them? I feel like they show up in the majority of solo scenes and that's not even getting into the lesbian strap-on toys...they're ubiquitous.

Porn has gotten way better since the 90s in every conceivable way. There's more variety. The visual quality is astronomically higher. The acting is better, in the sense that there's less awkward forced acting and more naturalistic performances. There are way more camera angles and sexual positions shown; there is typically no longer music accompanying entire scenes, music is usually limited to the intro, which I think most people find preferable. It's better in every way, so I honestly am baffled by your assessment.
  #63  
Old 06-06-2019, 05:58 AM
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The nice thing about cartoon porn is, you never have to worry that the people you're jerking it to are only doing it because they're struggling with addiction, or were forced into it by an abusive SO, or are dealing with debilitating mental illness.
Mr Magoo porn being the single exception to this.
  #64  
Old 06-06-2019, 06:15 AM
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The nice thing about cartoon porn is, you never have to worry that the people you're jerking it to are only doing it because they're struggling with addiction, or were forced into it by an abusive SO, or are dealing with debilitating mental illness.
Oh. Don't watch a documentary about Japanese animators, believe me.
  #65  
Old 06-06-2019, 10:17 AM
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Do NOT Google "clown porn" with the filters off(aka "Can you guess how many clowns can fit into someone dressed in a car costume?).

Last edited by Czarcasm; 06-06-2019 at 10:17 AM.
  #66  
Old 06-06-2019, 11:16 AM
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Also, don't look for "Extra-terrestrial" porn nor "Pterodactyl Porn"
  #67  
Old 06-06-2019, 12:17 PM
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Also, don't look for "Extra-terrestrial" porn nor "Pterodactyl Porn"
That's oddly specific. On the principle that the exception proves the rule, may I infer that other forms of reptilian porn are appropriate entertainment during afternoon tea and scones with my elderly aunt?

Last edited by Riemann; 06-06-2019 at 12:17 PM.
  #68  
Old 06-06-2019, 12:26 PM
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That's oddly specific. On the principle that the exception proves the rule, may I infer that other forms of reptilian porn are appropriate entertainment during afternoon tea and scones with my elderly aunt?
Other forms of reptilian porn may be appropriate for tea with your aunt, but I haven't seen any other dinosaur-related adult entertainment to make that judgement. Plus, I don't know your elderly aunt.
  #69  
Old 06-06-2019, 01:05 PM
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That's oddly specific. On the principle that the exception proves the rule, may I infer that other forms of reptilian porn are appropriate entertainment during afternoon tea and scones with my elderly aunt?
There's only one way to find out.

Is she available?

For science!
  #70  
Old 06-06-2019, 01:11 PM
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There's only one way to find out.

Is she available?

For science!
You bring the porn, I'll bring the scones. But I don't think I'm comfortable introducing her to manson1972 - she's open minded, but not that open minded.
  #71  
Old 06-06-2019, 01:23 PM
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The nice thing about cartoon porn is, you never have to worry that the people you're jerking it to are only doing it because they're struggling with addiction, or were forced into it by an abusive SO, or are dealing with debilitating mental illness.
True, but on the flip side there is much, much higher chance of a gross turn-off coming out of no where. One that I will never forget made me say, "THAT DOES NOT BELONG OUTSIDE OF THE BODY!"
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  #72  
Old 06-06-2019, 07:25 PM
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True, but on the flip side there is much, much higher chance of a gross turn-off coming out of no where. One that I will never forget made me say, "THAT DOES NOT BELONG OUTSIDE OF THE BODY!"
I heard only the audio of "Snot Porn" on Howard Stern today. Almost threw up in my car
  #73  
Old 06-06-2019, 07:59 PM
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Think Star Trek: Where no man has gone before!... because there's no head on that ship...
Maybe there was no head on that ship, but there sure was in my fantasies of Lt. Uhura.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarvinKitFox View Post
Why, just *look* at those murals in the brothels of Pompeii.
They show silly caricatures of half-men, half-goat "satyrs" fornicating with good decent people!
Nobody likes being simply laughed at, but some people enjoy being satyrized.
  #74  
Old 06-07-2019, 02:52 PM
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While cartoons/hentai may become more popular, demand is likely to remain stiff for flesh & blood characters. Cosplay porn, however, might become mainstream if it isn't already. It's like playing dress-up, slutty Halloween costumes and porn all rolled in one. That's probably the way in which it's going to be anatomically inaccurate, like having large prosthetic eyes used in cosplay or costumes which have unusual proportions.


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Originally Posted by Melbourne View Post
I wonder what the ultimately most seductive porn is going to look like? I suspect/fear that it's going to be some minimally human caricature that triggers all our instinctive reactions...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernormal_stimulus

Humans took a liking to sweetness out of fruits and berries and we distilled that into refined sugar. Music did the same thing with sounds. Abstract or surreal art can do the same with sight. For an example of what that might look like when it comes to porn, look up Amouranth on Instagram which I won't link to because it's just on the line of NSFW. She's like a self-aware funhouse mirror of modern sexuality.
  #75  
Old 06-08-2019, 04:38 AM
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That's oddly specific. On the principle that the exception proves the rule, may I infer that other forms of reptilian porn are appropriate entertainment during afternoon tea and scones with my elderly aunt?
You've never heard of the series of Purple Dinosaur Porn?
Volume 1: I Love You;
Volume 2: You Love Me;
Volume 3: We’re A Happy Family;
Volume 4: With A Great Big Hug & A Kiss From Me To You;
Volume 5: Won’t You Say You Love Me Two?
and the climactic Barney Cums Again: Electric Boogaloo.

There’s talk of a mashup: Barney versus The Teletubbies - The Naked Go Down.
  #76  
Old 06-09-2019, 12:52 AM
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If anything, modern western pornography has barely changed since the 90's. Same old camera angles, same old excuses for a plot, if there's any, same music and glossy camera filters...
Arguably it hasn't changed for nearly a century. There is a compilation of early adult films called "The Good Old Naughty Days", some dating back to 1905. And it's surprising how many of the clips could pass for modern day plots and fetishes.
  #77  
Old 06-09-2019, 01:08 AM
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Yet they still feel the need to put a disclaimer on the label that all characters are over 18.
Come on, it's ink on a cel or bits in a CGI package...
Child porn cartoons are illegal in some places. Treated the same as child porn film/ photography.

Child porn literature is also illegal in some places.

Porn is illegal in some places. I guess that bans on porn cartoons spring from the same impulse.
  #78  
Old 06-11-2019, 09:41 PM
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The essence of porn is that it depicts impossibly accessible, impossibly high-quality partners. The guys have hard bodies and huge dicks. The women are enthusiastic, good-looking (often with unnaturally large, high and firm breasts), never averse to oral or anal, and usually bisexual. So even live actor porn stars are already of above average enticement in looks and behavior. Drawn and computer generated porn just cranks this up to 11. The women can have breasts so large they wouldn't be able to walk in real life. Or they're so waiflike they look like nine-year olds with breasts. Legs that account for 3/5th of their total height.

Interestingly, because it's not photorealistic, drawn porn seems to bypass much of the Uncanny Valley, depicting people who would look bizarre or repulsive if you attempted to photoshop the same features.
  #79  
Old 06-11-2019, 10:02 PM
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I stumbled upon "WTF" porn on Pornhub. Not your dad's porno.
  #80  
Old 06-11-2019, 10:16 PM
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The nice thing about cartoon porn is, you never have to worry that the people you're jerking it to are only doing it because they're struggling with addiction, or were forced into it by an abusive SO, or are dealing with debilitating mental illness.
This is why I could never watch The Osbournes.
  #81  
Old 06-12-2019, 12:08 AM
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Spoken like someone who has never seen Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoids.
Or Urotsukidōji from the late 80s.
  #82  
Old 06-12-2019, 04:35 AM
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Arguably it hasn't changed for nearly a century. There is a compilation of early adult films called "The Good Old Naughty Days", some dating back to 1905. And it's surprising how many of the clips could pass for modern day plots and fetishes.
I don't know about the 1900's, but I've seen some 70's stuff and it was radically different. No weird contortions at unnatural angles to show the penetration, so it was mostly a hairy guy on top of a girl, and at best you could see some extremely furry movement where their genitals should be. And then some close-ups obviously filmed at another time, often with other people.
Also, some 1970's movies spent more time with the plot than with the sex scenes. Boggles the mind.
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