View Poll Results: A challenge in the Octogon! Bieber vs Cruise! Who wins?
I'm a Belieber! 12 13.48%
Cruising to victory! 77 86.52%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:55 AM
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The Gauntlet has been thrown! Justin Bieber vs Tom Cruise, in the Octagon... who wins?


So, this is now a thing, courtesy of Justin Bieber:

https://twitter.com/justinbieber/sta...848584193?s=19

"I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite ?"

Rules:

1. 6 months to prepare - this is happening Christmas Day, as a gift to all of us.
2. No weapons - just pure hand-to-hand. Gloves, cups, etc, are fine.
3. If you wish to explore different styles... like you think Tom would... cruise.... to a win in MMA, but Justin might win a boxing match... that's fine too. But the poll is pretty binary.
4. Hi Opal!
5. Poll, like always, is public.

Last edited by JohnT; 06-10-2019 at 08:58 AM.
  #2  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:58 AM
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Cruise is an old man so Bieber should have a physical advantage. Both of them are morons so I'd called it a draw on the mental aspects.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:00 AM
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Yeah, I was going to mention Cruise's age, too. I mean, there are some 56-year-olds who can beat some 20somethings in a fight, so we can't rule it out, but we have no particular reason to expect that this is one of them.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:09 AM
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Does either one of them have any combat sport experience? If so, that person. If not, Bieber. He's younger and taller.
  #5  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:09 AM
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Tom needs food ... badly.
  #6  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:12 AM
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Cruise may be older but I would wager he is in much better physical condition. Watch Mission Impossible: Fallout - Cruise did all the stunts. Has Bieber ever thrown a punch, real or pretend?
  #7  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:19 AM
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Bieber misspelled "you're", so I hope Tom beats his dumb ass to a pulp.
  #8  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:22 AM
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It's like 2016! They're saying "Bieber", but voting "Cruise"!
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:42 AM
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Bieber would get an epic ass-kicking if Cruise ever actually acknowledged the challenge and accepted it.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:45 AM
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I did vote Bieber, but one point in Cruise's favor is that Bieber is the one who issued the challenge. There's a negative correlation between the sort of person who issues such challenges and the sort of person who actually wins them.

This may be somewhat mitigated by the strong possibility that Bieber's challenge was intended as a joke.
  #11  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:48 AM
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Don't fight the hypothetical!

Cruise would just intense it up to 11. Bieber would treat it like a joke. Cruise, easily.
  #12  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Ike Witt View Post
Cruise may be older but I would wager he is in much better physical condition. Watch Mission Impossible: Fallout - Cruise did all the stunts. Has Bieber ever thrown a punch, real or pretend?
Thats what I was going to reference. Cruise has got to be in great shape from all those action flicks, and I would think a passing familiarity with martial arts, again from training for those type of scenes. Yes thats no comparison to actual combat training, yet would be a step above Beiber I would think. Given those advantages I think Cruise would want to go for a quick bout, within the next month, dont give Bieber 6 months to prepare.
  #13  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:57 AM
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Sorry, this is the Christmas gift mankind has been waiting for for 2,000 years.
  #14  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:05 AM
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This isn't even a question for me. Bieber, of course.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:06 AM
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Given those advantages I think Cruise would want to go for a quick bout, within the next month, dont give Bieber 6 months to prepare.
I was thinking the opposite. If Tom had 6 months, he would spend the next 6 months in serious training, while Justin would dick around.
  #16  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:14 AM
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Bieber has never been in a real fight in his life. Cruise probably hasn't either.

For any street fight or even an inexperienced MMA fight always go with whoever is craziest.... Tom IS batshit crazy!
  #17  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:15 AM
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I was saying Boo-ber....
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  #18  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:20 AM
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I was thinking the opposite. If Tom had 6 months, he would spend the next 6 months in serious training, while Justin would dick around.
That's how I see it. On top of being passionate and dedicated, Cruise is crazy. All my money on Mav.
  #19  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:32 AM
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Cruise against Matt Damon or Keanu Reeves, that would be interesting.

Cruise against some street punk?
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  #20  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:47 AM
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Don't fight the hypothetical!

Look, I know this is all hypothetical. It has to be. I mean if it wasn't and with the government and the world running the way they are, I'd start to think I was in a coma-induced nightmarish Hell otherwise.

That said, I'm going to spoiler box my response just so it doesn't detract from the 'fun' of the game, Ok? Just skip past it, it won't affect betting results or odds.

SPOILER:
I realize that this answer is boring... but... must I choose? Couldn't I just point and laugh instead...?
Think of it... two people who make their living off of their faces trying to pound the flesh on each other's faces into cheap ribeye steak?
The jobs of entire production companies in the balance? At least one bloodied loser being dragged away at the end screaming (in a voice breaking like a 14 year old going through puberty) "I'm gonna Sue you! I'm gonna Sue you...!"


I mean, I may watch a train wreck, but I won't bet on it.
  #21  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:49 AM
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It does kind of remind me of the Bonaduce vs Osmond fight back in, what was it, 1994? At least there the ages were about equal. I think you people who think Cruise would win are just nuts.
  #22  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:09 AM
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Cruise is, to be sure, older; but hes basically a stuntman who does a lot of sit-ups. Like, pick a number, and hes probably doing more sit-ups than that already.
  #23  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:20 AM
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Beneath Cruise's flashy smile and leading man looks is a sinister monster that destroys careers. He knows how to hook onto his opponent's greatest insecurity and fear and tear it out like a forced birth. Bieber would be defeated mentally as well as physically.
  #24  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:24 AM
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Just tell Cruise that Bieber is an SP*...Justin won't stand a chance.


*Suppressive Person...in Scientology, someone who needs to be put down in the strongest possible manner.
  #25  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by The Other Waldo Pepper View Post
Cruise is, to be sure, older; but hes basically a stuntman who does a lot of sit-ups. Like, pick a number, and hes probably doing more sit-ups than that already.
Bieber doesn't exactly look like he doesn't work out.
  #26  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:39 AM
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I enjoy Tom Cruise's movies. I do not enjoy Justin Bieber's music, or anything else about him. So, I vote Cruise.
  #27  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:51 AM
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Cruise would wipe the floor with him. He does his own stunts to the point where he learned rock climbing up insane walls, and crazy motorcycle tricks. If he doesn't already have at least 1 black belt in something I would be truly shocked. On the other hand, I doubt he'll even acknowledge this stupid stunt.

The whole thing reads like drunk posting.
  #28  
Old 06-10-2019, 12:48 PM
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Well, looking at things, Cruise was a wrestler in school and apparently trains very intensely both during filming and in his down time. If being in top shape is a thing, Cruise is it.

Bieber, on the other hand, got slapped by Orlando Bloom. Bieber said earlier he'd been training and hoped to kick Connor McGregor's ass in the ring. Right.

My money's on Cruise. He may be wacky but at least he's not a poser looking for attention.
  #29  
Old 06-10-2019, 12:57 PM
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Which one's going to play Sondra Locke?
  #30  
Old 06-10-2019, 02:44 PM
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OK, I didn't research it to that (or any, really) level of detail, but if Cruise was a competitive wrestler back in the day, that's probably enough to give him an edge.
  #31  
Old 06-10-2019, 03:13 PM
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You could almost say that Cruise has

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

All the Right Moves

Last edited by JohnT; 06-10-2019 at 03:13 PM.
  #32  
Old 06-10-2019, 03:27 PM
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Well, looking at things, Cruise was a wrestler in school and apparently trains very intensely both during filming and in his down time. If being in top shape is a thing, Cruise is it.
That is something to Cruise's advantage in knowledge and experience, but he's still 56 and we don't know what kind of fighting condition he is in now. He could be in great shape, a lot of actors spend their time training to look good, usually a lot of cardio in there, but at 56 he may have some wear and tear.

Bieber danced in his act, I have never seen him, but maybe someone knows if he was any good at it. Did he show the kind of dexterity, balance, and quickness that makes some dancers very athletic, and potentially trainable to fight, or was he just bumping and grinding for teenage girls?

Given that they both have 6 months to train, and to investigate each other's potential, I still think they are morons and the best fighter between them could still lose.
  #33  
Old 06-10-2019, 03:32 PM
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Are they having a feud or something? What on earth brought this on?
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  #34  
Old 06-10-2019, 03:38 PM
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Well, based on absolutely nothing I'd say it's brought on by Justin Bieber needing some publicity. He hasn't released a studio album or toured in a few years based on his wiki article. He's in danger of becoming a famous-to-be-famous sort. I mean, good for him and all, but it's not top flight.

Cruise, on the other hand, is a real god in the entertainment industry. His movies make money, his production company does good work, he knows everyone and despite his religious oddness seems to be respected in Hollywood and the broader entertainment industry.

It really seems like Bieber jumping on Cruise to generate press for himself. I wouldn't be surprised if Connor MacGregor was in on it as well given how fast he jumped on the issue. The whole thing reeks of press agents working hard.
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Old 06-10-2019, 03:38 PM
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Are they having a feud or something? What on earth brought this on?
In Bieber's case, I'm guessing drugs.
  #36  
Old 06-10-2019, 04:53 PM
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Cruise has put a lot of effort into the physicality of his roles. There's a video clip of him breaking his foot, you can see the bone snapping, and he keeps running. I don't know from his punching skills, but I'm guessing he can take a lot more of a hit than Beiber.
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  #37  
Old 06-10-2019, 04:54 PM
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You know, if Justin Bieber for some reason challenged a pal of mine to a fistfight, and I later saw my pal sprinting around a track while karate-chopping the air with each hand, Id say to myself, huh, I guess theres going to be a fight.

By contrast, if I saw Tom Cruise sprinting around a track while karate-chopping the air with each hand, Id say, huh, I wonder if hes heard?
  #38  
Old 06-10-2019, 06:28 PM
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You know, if Justin Bieber for some reason challenged a pal of mine to a fistfight, and I later saw my pal sprinting around a track while karate-chopping the air with each hand, Id say to myself, huh, I guess theres going to be a fight.

By contrast, if I saw Tom Cruise sprinting around a track while karate-chopping the air with each hand, Id say, huh, I wonder if hes heard?
If I saw Tom Cruise running, I'd wonder where the cameras were hidden.
  #39  
Old 06-10-2019, 06:40 PM
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Im going with Cruise as well. Given his position in the church of Scientology and what I know of that church, my guess is that Cruise is someone who has a high level of do whatever it takes to get the job done whether its acting, religion, or a hypothetical bout in the octagon. Bieber probably has a lot less of that than Cruise does.
  #40  
Old 06-10-2019, 06:53 PM
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I just heard this referred to as "the rumble in the under 5'10" jungle".
  #41  
Old 06-10-2019, 07:48 PM
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Tom by far. Sure, he has issues but I think he's a genuinely good person too. I haven't heard bad things about him that don't involve weirdness. I mean, the Scientology stuff is gross, but he's in denial over that because he's such a true believe. What I mean more is that I've never heard anyone say he's anything but unfailingly polite and thoughtful. But his issues make him determined and focused and he'd target on Bieber and pound the crap out of him if he had to.

Plus Cruise has saved several fans from being hurt at various events over the years.

I hate Scientology but I can understand why someone who is at the top of that pyramid scheme would fall for it. I hate Bieber overall just a bit more. Plus he started it. Gotta root for the person who was minding his own business getting called out by a high-as-fuck punk.

Tom would just have to play some Selena Gomez songs and adorn the arena with needles and baggies full of suspicious white powder and let the problem solve itself.
  #42  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:22 PM
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What's the dirtiest thing Cruise might ever say?

"I was a little hard on the Bieber last night."
  #43  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:40 PM
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You could almost say that Cruise has

(_)
( _)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

All the Right Moves
Quote:
Originally Posted by running coach View Post
What's the dirtiest thing Cruise might ever say?

"I was a little hard on the Bieber last night."
You both need to go your rooms and think about what you've done.
  #44  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:42 PM
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I saw Cruise in The Mummy a fairly recent movie and I was honestly shocked about how in shape he is, probably better shape than most guys half his age. But what also what strikes me about Cruise is he always seems to have this intense mental energy and positivity and puts his all into whatever he is doing.

I think Tom would beat the brakes off poor Bieber.

Another interesting factoid was when Christian Bale played Patrick Bateman in American Psycho he based his persona off of an old interview he saw of T Cruise basically saying he has this nice friendly exterior but a creepy emptiness behind the eyes, I could definitely picture him being kind of a dark personality underneath that veneer of friendliness that he exudes.
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Last edited by pool; 06-10-2019 at 08:46 PM.
  #45  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:44 PM
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Would Tom Cruise really hit a girl?
  #46  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:17 PM
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If he was forced to do it (I don't think he'd do it voluntarily) -- Cruise. He'd do everything humanly possible to win, and I don't think Bieber would.
  #47  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:55 PM
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You both need to go your rooms and think about what you've done.
I'm in my room. I've thought about it. AND I'M SO GLAD!
  #48  
Old 06-11-2019, 12:09 AM
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Cruise - round 1 - hands down.
  #49  
Old 06-11-2019, 06:25 AM
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I'm amazed at how effective Tom Cruise's PR is. You guys actually believe he is a Hollywood stuntman in great condition because you heard it from internet tabloid coverage. But of course why would anyone think a nutbag cultist would be dishonest?
  #50  
Old 06-11-2019, 06:58 AM
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