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  #251  
Old 07-15-2018, 10:39 PM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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bake me cakes.

One time I was very scared because...
  #252  
Old 07-15-2018, 10:54 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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They let us in the kitchen to cook (there were knives).


I love to eat when someone else________.
  #253  
Old 07-15-2018, 10:59 PM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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eats more than me.

I should go to bed, but...
  #254  
Old 07-15-2018, 11:07 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Kate Upton is demanding I ravish her in the produce aisle instead.

I swear, if that girl doesn't leave me alone, _________
  #255  
Old Yesterday, 12:24 AM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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...there will be death..by snusnu!

A shattered pelvis...
  #256  
Old Yesterday, 12:25 AM
boson boson is offline
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...I'll let my gut back out and remove the softpacks.

If I could accomplish just one thing this coming week, it would be...
  #257  
Old Yesterday, 12:28 AM
Ambivalid Ambivalid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
...there will be death..by snusnu!

A shattered pelvis...
Is the punishment God doles out to those who engage in deviant sex.

Have you stopped beating your____?
  #258  
Old Yesterday, 01:06 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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I'm not sure where we are, as there seems to have been some confusion, so I will go with this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by boson View Post
If I could accomplish just one thing this coming week, it would be...
... to play my usual Wednesday afternoon golf game.

Peace and quiet on the course are only interrupted by ...
  #259  
Old Yesterday, 01:09 AM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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...ninjas stealth murdering the caddies.

Have you stopped beating your....
  #260  
Old Yesterday, 01:12 AM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is offline
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Dog? I am telling on you.


I am a tattletale, unless ______.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; Yesterday at 01:13 AM.
  #261  
Old Yesterday, 01:14 AM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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..., ninjas are a major problem so bring plenty of ninja spray.

Have you stopped beating your...
  #262  
Old Yesterday, 06:45 AM
Heffalump and Roo Heffalump and Roo is offline
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. . . rug lately; it needs more cleaning.


Repetition is the mother of ______________
  #263  
Old Yesterday, 08:24 AM
Knowed Out Knowed Out is offline
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... repetition.

All the world's a stage, and ...
  #264  
Old Yesterday, 08:50 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Please use Preview Post to make sure you're responding to the most-recent post. Thanks!

none of us are being paid nearly enough for our costarring roles.

Shakespeare really knew what he was talking about when _______________________
  #265  
Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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he wrote “to be or not to be,” they seem to be the available options.

In Romeo and Juliet those kids are just idiots because...
  #266  
Old Yesterday, 10:44 AM
Heffalump and Roo Heffalump and Roo is offline
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. . . their parents might have come around to their view like most parents do when their kids show commitment.


True love is always ________________
  #267  
Old Yesterday, 10:48 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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elusive when you meticulously point out every single flaw of the women you're dating.

My last girlfriend thought I was perfect; _______________
  #268  
Old Yesterday, 11:58 AM
Heffalump and Roo Heffalump and Roo is offline
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. . . she left me for someone less intimidating.


In my next girlfriend, I'm looking for _____________
  #269  
Old Yesterday, 01:02 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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someone with both a pulse and low standards.

If I were any more picky, you'd better believe ________________
  #270  
Old Yesterday, 01:55 PM
Heffalump and Roo Heffalump and Roo is offline
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. . . I'd expect some hair too.

I look for all my girlfriends at the _____________
  #271  
Old Yesterday, 01:59 PM
Jasmine Jasmine is offline
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... local whore house.

After work, I plan ......
__________________
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -- it is the illusion of knowledge."
--Daniel J Boorstin
  #272  
Old Yesterday, 04:27 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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... to run a few errands, before heading home.

Among the things I'll get, are ...
  #273  
Old Yesterday, 05:49 PM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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...Herpes, syphilis, and maybe some pizza.

During the last herpes outbreak...
  #274  
Old Yesterday, 06:00 PM
Mr Zox Mr Zox is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
During the last herpes outbreak...
...we found out how many people think "herpe" is the singular form.

When in trouble, when in in doubt,_____
  #275  
Old Yesterday, 06:39 PM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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please do not contact me.

I got in trouble when I ...
  #276  
Old Yesterday, 06:55 PM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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...barged into the town council meeting and performed lewd acts.

Cameras can detect...
  #277  
Old Yesterday, 07:06 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post

Cameras can detect...
...things going on when we are too bored to be paying attention-- which is when the good stuff suddenly happens.


Call me. . .
  #278  
Old Yesterday, 07:41 PM
Patx2 Patx2 is offline
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when you have no problems and no doubts.

I mistyped a text yesterday it ended up saying...
  #279  
Old Yesterday, 10:17 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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... "I'm just heading out to take my god for a walk."

While on our walk, my dog ...
  #280  
Old Today, 12:57 AM
Ambivalid Ambivalid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoons View Post
... "I'm just heading out to take my god for a walk."

While on our walk, my dog ...
Saw a god being walked and barked.

Nobody is above the law, not even_____.
  #281  
Old Today, 01:01 AM
snfaulkner snfaulkner is offline
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Steven Segal.

One morning I opened my door and Steven Segal...
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