Old 11-06-2019, 07:39 PM
Suse is offline
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
Old 11-06-2019, 07:40 PM
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Very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife eight years ago, you are in my thoughts.
Old 11-06-2019, 07:43 PM
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My husband died in 2017. My condolences and sympathies, from one widow to another.

I wish I could be there for you in person, but there are many people here willing to listen at any time of day or night.

I am so sorry for your loss.
Old 11-06-2019, 07:46 PM
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I am so sorry. Condolences.
Old 11-06-2019, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by janis_and_c0 View Post
Thank you all so much for your kind words. So many people, including you, have reached out and that and God is the only thing making life even halfway tolerable right now. Am not alone. My folks came in the middle of the night and I am at their house. Again THANK YOU all so much.
I am so, so sorry. I hope your folks are a comfort to you.
Old 11-06-2019, 08:30 PM
WhyNot is offline
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I'm so, so sorry, janis. My husband died a year ago. I think there's a particular pain to widowhood that can't really be understood by those who haven't experienced it. The loss of an anchor, a partner, someone you anticipated doing things with in the future that now feels really big and uncertain.

All I can say is that the platitude is right. With time, the pain will ease. Well, no, that's not exactly right. The pain stays just as painful, but the times you experience it get further and further apart. Hang in there. PM me if you need to talk.
Old 11-06-2019, 08:36 PM
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I'm so very sorry to hear this. What a nightmare for you to be thrust into. I send you my most sincere condolences. May you find peace.
Old 11-06-2019, 08:51 PM
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So very sorry to hear this.
Old 11-06-2019, 09:01 PM
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Oh no, I'm so very sorry.
Old 11-06-2019, 09:27 PM
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It's going to hurt, a lot. But accepting that that is to be expected is in a sense reassuring. My advice:

Try to keep with your usual routine as much as possible- you'll find yourself craving what normalcy is to be had.

Grief is enormously stressful- get help with relaxation techniques, especially if you start feeling chest pains.

Don't be ashamed to howl like a banshee at times.

When I lost my wife, it helped beyond measure that I took up daily correspondence with my brother, someone I could describe what I was going through to. Try to find someone you can talk to about it, via email if not in person.

A two-person house becomes terribly silent and empty when it becomes a one-person house. If you have to move out/move in with someone do so; otherwise be aware it will take some time to adjust.

DON'T make any radical decisions during the grieving process; wait to get back on a somewhat even keel first.

Been there
Old 11-06-2019, 10:23 PM
not what you'd expect is offline
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I'm so sorry Janis. Lumpy has it right, it's going to hurt. But the pain will ease. May your memories bring you comfort.

RIP Papa Bear.
Old 11-06-2019, 10:42 PM
Euphonious Polemic is online now
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My god.

Is there anyone close to you that you can reach out to? You'll need support.
Old 11-07-2019, 10:42 AM
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I am not religious but I fully understand where Genesis 2.24 came from:
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
A part of you, a most comfortable part, is now missing and no amount of condolences from us or anyone else will help with that, for the moment, but let your friends and family support you. Now, of all times, is when you need them most.
Old 11-07-2019, 10:47 AM
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My sincere condolences. It's been my experience in these first few days that you just keep putting one step in front of the other. Be patient with yourself.

Old 11-07-2019, 12:02 PM
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Thank you guys for all the love.. I wrote this this morning..

A Widows Prayer
Hold my precious husband , Lord and keep him in your care
Tho' my heart is sorrowful, I reach out and he's not there,
Yet I look forward to tomorrow, Lord, when we'll both be with You
I know Your Promises and Love, Lord, will surely see me through.

Please Bless the loving hearts, Lord, that pray for me and mine,
Though it seems that I'd give anything to hold him one last time
The love of them is strong, Lord, and it's helping me get by
It fills my heart with gladness, Lord, even while I cry.

Comfort me with memories, Lord, the good ones and the sad
Help me to hold onto love, the good times that we had
Help me the days I smile, Lord, and the days that I have pain
Hold us both together Lord, till I see him again.

Viri feminaeque, meum admonitum capite, vestras bracas detrahite et in gelu labimini.

Last edited by janis_and_c0; 11-07-2019 at 12:02 PM.
Old 11-07-2019, 03:41 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss janis.
Old 11-07-2019, 05:34 PM
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Hang in there. The pain never really goes away - but you do get used to it, in time. Somehow.
Meantime, take care of yourself, don't be ashamed of anything you do, and don't be afraid to call for help, any help, with anything no matter how trifling. Even just to pour the sorrow out, like lancing a boil. People understand. If you're lucky and loved, they even give a shit.
Old 11-07-2019, 06:14 PM
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{{{Pearl}}} I am so sorry for your loss. You, your husband, and family are in my prayers.
Old 11-07-2019, 06:54 PM
HoneyBadgerDC is offline
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Your poem was beautiful, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mate a year ago, it does get better.
Old 11-07-2019, 06:54 PM
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Very sorry for your loss; best wishes to you and family.
My new novel Spindown
Old 11-07-2019, 06:57 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss, janis.
Old 11-07-2019, 07:01 PM
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I can't imagine the shock of such a thing.

Take good care of yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Old 11-07-2019, 07:04 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss; words escape me. For what its worth you will be in our thoughts and our prayers and our best to you and all the family.
Old 11-07-2019, 11:13 PM
DummyGladHands is offline
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Sorry for your loss. I was widowed 17 yrs ago after his long illness. I thought I was losing my mind. I found a message board called "Widownet" which, and this is not hyperbole, saved my life. It's mostly moribund these days but there is a FB group called the same. You may want to look it up. There is also WIDDA and Widowed Village among others. My only comfort was "talking" to people in my same situation. I wish you peace
Old 11-08-2019, 06:03 AM
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I'm so sorry, janis. It will be a year ago tomorrow that I lost my husband. There are a lot of us here who have lost a spouse so don't hesitate to reach out if you need it. Hugs.
Old 11-08-2019, 10:01 AM
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Condolences to you and your family, janis. May his memory be a blessing.

your humble TubaDiva
Old 11-08-2019, 11:04 AM
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Reading your post made my heart ache, I feel so sorry for you. I wish you strength and wish to express my sincere condolences.
'Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.' - Charles Darwin.
I am living proof of that.
Old 11-08-2019, 02:31 PM
Apodder is offline
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How awful! And how much I feel for you. What a nightmare. Big hugs coming your way. :'(
Old 11-08-2019, 02:37 PM
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I am so very sorry for your loss. What an awful thing to happen. I wish you peace in the future. Please reach out to the people in this thread who've undergone something similar, if you want to.
Old 11-08-2019, 03:45 PM
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Deepest condolences
Old 11-08-2019, 05:08 PM
Yllaria is offline
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I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your poem shows so much love.
Old 11-08-2019, 09:22 PM
Paul in Qatar is online now
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I never know what to say. My words are so feeble. You and your husband shall be in my prayers.
Old 11-08-2019, 09:52 PM
Morgyn is offline
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
Old 11-08-2019, 10:44 PM
P-man is offline
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I can't imagine. A good friend of mine lost his wife years ago, and I saw what he went through. My thoughts are with you.
Old 11-09-2019, 08:51 AM
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I'm sorry for your troubles.
Old 11-09-2019, 01:07 PM
Filbert is offline
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I'm so sorry.
Old 11-10-2019, 02:48 PM
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You have my sincere condolences. Knowing that I logically won't outlive one brother or Girl Wonder gives me angst; it's precisely those two I would need to be here and strong for.
I can't help being a gorgeous fiend. It's just the card I drew.
Old 11-10-2019, 06:38 PM
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I just saw this today. I'm so sorry for your loss, Janis.


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