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  #1  
Old 06-25-2019, 07:52 AM
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Calvinball 2019 Tournament of Absolute Champions of the Universe!


Time for the annual Calvinball championship. The winner will receive a perfectly cromulent misopterator with all the attachments. Let the games begin!

Prof. P. hurls the Calvinball manfully over the hedge of a thousand yesterdays, clearing the mudpool and landing in the heroic circle.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 06-25-2019 at 07:52 AM. Reason: For those who don't know, the only rule in Calvinball is it can't be played the same way twice.
  #2  
Old 06-25-2019, 09:40 AM
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Elendil's Heir picks up the Calvinball, looks to the east and looks to the west, and makes a beeline for the stuffed tiger 30 yards or so to the north.
  #3  
Old 06-25-2019, 09:58 AM
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Tweet! Calvin ran in a straight line for more than 10 yards, contrary to the zig-zag rule, and forfeits the ball to Hobbs.
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  #4  
Old 06-25-2019, 10:10 AM
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Tweet! 10 yard penalty for Northern Piper for misspelling "Hobbes."
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Old 06-25-2019, 10:50 AM
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While all these fouls are being debated, Elendil's Heir draws funny faces on the ball and then kicks it towards the house.
  #6  
Old 06-25-2019, 11:14 AM
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The ball is intercepted by Intergalactic Gladiator (I've got springs on my shoes!) and I manage to kick it through the first two croquet rings, scoring 11 points (3 point bonus because it's Tuesday).
  #7  
Old 06-25-2019, 11:14 AM
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Where it just misses Susie Derkins, who responds with a perfectly placed left jab.
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Old 06-25-2019, 11:15 AM
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TWEET! Foul declared on Elendil's Heir for forbidden use of emoji.
  #9  
Old 06-25-2019, 12:48 PM
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Knowed Out shoots his frap ray at something. Because frap rays are awesome.
  #10  
Old 06-25-2019, 12:57 PM
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Nonsuch finds the Bonus Box, causing all players' scores to be randomly reassigned.

Last edited by Nonsuch; 06-25-2019 at 12:57 PM. Reason: grammar
  #11  
Old 06-25-2019, 01:05 PM
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kenobi 65 takes out a magic marker, crosses out the words "Bonus Box," writes the word "Transmogrifier" on the box, and gets into it. He has Hobbes push the button, and he transforms into a velociraptor.
  #12  
Old 06-25-2019, 02:35 PM
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Elendil's Heir hypnotizes the velociraptor by waving his fingers, thus calming it, then picks up the ball from where it lay beyond the croquet rings and makes a beautiful spiral pass towards Northern Piper.
  #13  
Old 06-25-2019, 02:44 PM
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Wait a second, are there teams?
  #14  
Old 06-25-2019, 02:57 PM
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TWEET! Foul declared on Intergalactic Gladiator for questioning the rules/format of Calvinball.

As a penalty, Intergalactic Gladiator is now on everyone's team.
  #15  
Old 06-25-2019, 04:00 PM
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Pepperdrones strafe the field whilst the Professor tackles Northern Piper and bounces off harmlessly.
  #16  
Old 06-25-2019, 05:01 PM
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Elendil's Heir catches the ball on the rebound and gently tosses it underhand to his new teammate, Intergalactic Gladiator.
  #17  
Old 06-25-2019, 05:50 PM
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I would like to play but Prof Pepperwinkle didn't link to the rules and I am unfamiliar with them. Clearly a simple oversight, surely, and I expect one of you guys can easily explain them.
  #18  
Old 06-25-2019, 06:48 PM
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Nonsuch passes the Calvinball to Mr Shine, who throws it through the east wicket for an easy five points.
  #19  
Old 06-25-2019, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Shine View Post
I would like to play but Prof Pepperwinkle didn't link to the rules and I am unfamiliar with them. Clearly a simple oversight, surely, and I expect one of you guys can easily explain them.
See the note at the bottom of the first post. Thang Q.

Or see here: https://www.gocomics.com/comics/list...bes-calvinball

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 06-25-2019 at 06:50 PM.
  #20  
Old 06-25-2019, 09:00 PM
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With a massive belch, burpo the wonder mutt signals a time-out because:
  #21  
Old 06-25-2019, 09:27 PM
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(Looks like everyone's gone in for the night.)
  #22  
Old 06-25-2019, 10:53 PM
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Elendil's Heir, back from various boring grownup things, sneaks back onto the field by moonlight. Picking up the ball, he scores unopposed over and over and over again. The new score: his team eight miilion, the other team Q-203^.
  #23  
Old 06-25-2019, 11:51 PM
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Nonsuch finds Elendil’s Heir passed out on the field, using the calvinball as a pillow. He picks up Elendil’s Heir and the ball and sets them both over the bullseye for a quadruple overtime goal.
  #24  
Old 06-26-2019, 08:14 AM
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Energized by a bowlful of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, burpo the wonder mutt dashes onto the field andSQUIRREL!

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 06-26-2019 at 08:16 AM.
  #25  
Old 06-26-2019, 08:18 AM
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Elendil's Heir sits up, rubs his eyes, sees what's going on and gives burpo a good scratch behind the ears.
  #26  
Old 06-26-2019, 08:36 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator springs into the arena with his death ray scorcher and zaps a repulsive bat-webbed booger being. 13 points!
  #27  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:15 PM
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Annie-Xmas springs into the area and puts zapped repulsive bat-webbed booger being on top of a pine tree. 25 points.
  #28  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:26 PM
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Knowed Out takes out the pine tree with the frap ray for a zillion points.
  #29  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:28 PM
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Pine tree falls on Knowed Out. crushing frap ray for a zillion point penalty
  #30  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:32 PM
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@CaptainSnazzy quickly snatches up the Calvin Ball and makes his way over to the invisible zone
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  #31  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:37 PM
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Nonsuch throws the striped flag, requiring every player to run backwards until the secret word is spoken.
  #32  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:37 PM
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(while running backwards) Intergalactic Gladiator touches the Invisible Zone Movement pole and now it's in a different area. Captain Snazzy now has to sing the Intergalactic Gladiator is Great song.

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 06-26-2019 at 12:38 PM. Reason: gotta run backwards
  #33  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:46 PM
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Annie-Xmas starts singing, every player stops running and puts hands over their ears.
  #34  
Old 06-26-2019, 12:46 PM
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Oh no! I....must....resist...*groans*
*ahem*
"Mayest thou look upon
The greatest knight who rides thereon
Their strong, and smart and enigmatic,
The gladiator intergalactic...
LOOK NO FURTHER
FOR NONE SHALL PROCLAIM
A PERSON MORE DESERVING
OF THE SONG I HAVE ORDAINED
INTERGALACTIC GLADIATOR
TENDER AND TRUE
WE ALL BESEECH YOUR ELEGANCE
AND IN YOUR WORK PURSUE."
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Last edited by CaptainSnazzy7402; 06-26-2019 at 12:46 PM. Reason: incorrect spelling lol
  #35  
Old 06-26-2019, 01:11 PM
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While everyone has their hands over their ears and their eyes closed, wincing in pain at the song, thorny locust wanders out onto the field, takes the ball, and plants it into a hole dug just north of the south edge, top of it 2" below soil level; and waters it in carefully. She then wanders back off again to get back to transplanting out some lettuce.

ETA: She claims that because she paid zero attention to the score this means that she now has an infinite score.

Last edited by thorny locust; 06-26-2019 at 01:12 PM.
  #36  
Old 06-26-2019, 11:32 PM
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Elendil's Heir grabs the ball, steps three times on the Undoing Infinite Scores square, and shrugs apologetically at thorny locust.

Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 06-26-2019 at 11:32 PM.
  #37  
Old 06-27-2019, 08:59 AM
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Annie-Xmas grabs the ball and gets all the players to do a conga line across the Limbo Zone.
  #38  
Old 06-27-2019, 09:13 AM
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Uh-oh! Annie-Xmas stepped over the Q-yard line with the wrong foot! She forfeits the ball to Nonsuch, who balances it on his head for five points.
  #39  
Old 06-27-2019, 10:28 AM
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Intergalactic Gladiator prepares to take a swing at the balancing ball when everyone else blocks him out, saying that this is not a good idea. "Trust me, I got this," says Intergalactic Gladiator but no one trusts him. Minus 3 points to Intergalactic Gladiator and his team(s).
  #40  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:17 AM
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Annie-Xmas balances the ball on her nose while doing the peppermint twist, earning 13 points and a candy cane.
  #41  
Old 06-27-2019, 12:21 PM
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Captian Snazzy, voice worn out from singing praises, quietly grabs a leaf blower and switches it on, blowing the Calvinball into another yard.
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  #42  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:11 PM
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Annie-Xmas goes into other yard to retrieve ball, only to have owner scream at her "Get off my lawn." Hilarity ensues and she gets awarded 100 points.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 06-27-2019 at 01:13 PM.
  #43  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:23 PM
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kenobi 65 snaps out of the hypnosis. Still a velociraptor, he leaps into the crabby neighbor's lawn, messily devouring her for 10,000 points, and earning a standing ovation from the crowd.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 06-27-2019 at 01:23 PM.
  #44  
Old 06-27-2019, 02:42 PM
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thorny locust wanders back onto the field, checks the ball, concludes it's not ready yet for harvest, and applies fertilizer, with a little inadvertent assistance from the velociraptor and the wonder mutt. This would definitely be against organic certification rules, but hey, this is Calvinball.

27 points, with a 6 gazillion point bonus added for yuck factor.
  #45  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:46 PM
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Elendil's Heir flashes his Mr. Yuck lapel pin as he grabs the ball, brushing off the fertilizer as he skips merrily towards the Early Friday Superduper Big Score spot, landing on it with both feet.
  #46  
Old 06-28-2019, 10:09 AM
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Using the patented Border Collie StareTM, wonder mutt paralyzes the opposing team's tiger, giving his teammates ample time to...SHIT! EVERYONE ON THE FIELD IS HYPMOTIZED! There's no one to field the ball! Well, I got all day.
  #47  
Old 06-28-2019, 11:51 AM
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Elendil's Heir overcomes his hypmotizm, runs over, grabs the ball from btw, and whistles the piccolo part from "The Stars and Stripes Forever," earning an automatic eight trillion points.
  #48  
Old 06-28-2019, 12:23 PM
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Nonsuch jumps three times on the Circle of Japes, requiring Elendil's Heir to either tell a joke or else forfeit his last score.
  #49  
Old 06-28-2019, 11:48 PM
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Using basic English, history, advanced calculus, and advanced chemistry, CaptainSnazzy transforms his leafblower into a jetpack!
Flying quickly to the Calvinball, he grabs it, flies into the air and lands a perfect backflip making his score increase by a quintillion!
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  #50  
Old 06-29-2019, 09:08 AM
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Annie-Xmas grabs ball, drops trou, sticks ball in butt checks, blows perfect fart that sends ball into Gross Zone for 144 points.
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