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Old 05-17-2019, 09:01 PM
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Would you agree that most people these days feel rushed & are impatient?


It seems to me like people these days aren't as relaxed due to the stresses of everyday life. They also want certain things done in a quicker manner rather than being patient about it.

So, what's the main cause of this & what would fix this problem?
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:20 PM
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Awww, crap, I wrote a lengthy reply, footnotes and all, then it got eaten. No time right now to retype it, I'll try later, too much to do.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:27 PM
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Uh, yeah. My pace is slow to stopped. So I see people rushing and hurrying for stupid reasons. I like to stop and smell the flowers. I know I'm an outmoded idea. But I don't care.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:29 PM
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It seems to me like people these days aren't as relaxed due to the stresses of everyday life. They also want certain things done in a quicker manner rather than being patient about it.

So, what's the main cause of this & what would fix this problem?
SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!!![/bender]
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:33 PM
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SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!!![/bender]
You are really loud and impatient today. Calm down. It's gonna be alright. Just keep a hand over your beer. If it's chunky beer it ain't right, just saying.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:41 PM
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I'm retired so I finally have time to slow down.

My wife's best friend couldn't believe how exhausted she was when we had "one little baby." After all, how much trouble could taking care of a baby be while you also had a full-time job. So we let her take the baby for a weekend. You know, when no one had to go to work.

She apologized profusely to my wife. Yeah, there are a lot of people who are lucky to even get a chance to go through the drive-through at McDonalds.

As for those young, single, carefree folks, they're all working 50+ hours a week, running errands before, after, or during work, and trying to have some kind of social life, even if it's only online. And those middle-aged empty nesters who are coasting to retirement? Ask them how much time they spend helping out their aging parents.

Last edited by Kent Clark; 05-17-2019 at 09:42 PM.
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Old 05-17-2019, 09:57 PM
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I regularly vacation with a small group. One woman in particular virtually speed-walks wherever she goes. If you saw us walking in, say, Rome, you'd see a woman cruising along like she's late for a bowel movement and a group of adults straining to keep up.

I am a casual walker by design; even more so when I am on vacation. I want to relax, not motor along like the pavement is on fire. I want no such urgency while on holiday.

I've only recently decided I have every right to walk at my own pace. The others are free to walk at theirs.


mmm
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Old 05-17-2019, 11:37 PM
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It seems to me like people these days aren't as relaxed due to the stresses of everyday life. They also want certain things done in a quicker manner rather than being patient about it.

So, what's the main cause of this & what would fix this problem?
There is certainly a noticeable drop in the Aloha spirit in Hawaii between when the wife and I were students here in the early 1990s and now. Road rage in particular is out of control. I blame overcrowding. The population of Honolulu and the state as well has grown 25% since our student days, and there's a proportional increase in automobiles. I rode a bicycle everywhere back then but consider it would be suicidal today.
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Old 05-18-2019, 01:00 AM
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Yeah, and lots of people have good reasons for it. When my father worked, and when I started to work, you mostly were home when you were home. Really important people - and teachers - brought work home with them.
Entertainment was a few TV stations, radio, and maybe a few records, that was it, besides books. You'd see reviews of the TV shows in TV guide.
You talked to a few far away friends on the phone or wrote them letters.

Now you have to check your email every minute it seems. By the time I retired I could work as home as well or better than I could work at my desk. At 1 am I sent my vice Program Chair an email - he was in Texas, two hours later than me - and he responded immediately.
We have DVDs, streaming, more channels, but more importantly we're inundated by the fans of a show who make you feel that you're missing out if you don't watch. You feel that you are always falling behind.
We have the same number of hours in the day as when I was a kid, but 2 times (or more) people creating content. In the late '60s I could keep up with pretty much all the sf worth reading. Now, no way.
And those on Facebook or Twitter have even more content to wade through.
No wonder everyone feels rushed. They are.
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Old 05-18-2019, 05:32 AM
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I mostly blame smart phones — seriously. I recently realized almost all my problems come down to two things: being easily distracted, and being easily agitated (sometimes escalating to anger). Expecting to be able to do, learn, or find “anything” by fiddling with a black rectangular object has made me impatient.In yesterday’s New York Times, someone tried to live like it’s 1994. For the first few days, the din of her inner voice, forcibly disengaged from the phone, was deafening. Then, the voice went away.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/14/s...e-silence.html

Last edited by JKellyMap; 05-18-2019 at 05:33 AM.
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Old 05-19-2019, 07:56 PM
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Maybe I feel rushed and impatient. Because every single day, there are just hundreds of people walking slowly, taking their time at the store, wandering around slowly on the sidewalk, driving slowly on the roads. MOVE PEOPLE!
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Old 05-19-2019, 08:35 PM
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I mostly blame smart phones — seriously. I recently realized almost all my problems come down to two things: being easily distracted, and being easily agitated (sometimes escalating to anger). Expecting to be able to do, learn, or find “anything” by fiddling with a black rectangular object has made me impatient

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/14/s...e-silence.html
I completely agree with this...and the internet in general. Heck, I'm at the point where my internet speeds (and we need the bandwidth here with a 49, 17 and 13 year old gamers in our apartment, constantly in the tech bubble) are so blazing here at home (about 300 down, 30 up) that every other computer I use at work, library, etc is like on dial up to me.

We are certainly spoiled in this era, but I am old enough to have straddled both worlds: black and white tv, tv remotes with cords and dials, HBO in 1980, rotary phones, REMEMBERING phone numbers, etc.
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Old 05-19-2019, 09:33 PM
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...taking their time at the store...
As a retail worker, I'd have to say that certain shoppers are more in a rush. However, the older people are usually slower.
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Old 05-19-2019, 09:49 PM
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As a retail worker, I'd have to say that certain shoppers are more in a rush. However, the older people are usually slower.
I'm cool with older people taking their time. But everyone seems to just be lollygagging around all the time. Scan your crap, pay the bill, and get the hell out! How hard is it? Don't get me started on people at the ATM who are seemingly making advanced financial transactions for 15 minutes. Get your money and get out of the way!
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Old 05-19-2019, 10:21 PM
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Part of it is choice. Some people choose that kind of lifestyle. They pick high demand careers, then pick a ton of extra curricular activities for their kids. They buy a house that needs constant upkeep and repairs. As a result they're always busy. And if they do have down time fhey look for something to do (some home repair or upgrade).

Personally I hate being rushed. I didn't have kids, I live in an apartment, I try to pick jobs that are low stress and have down time. I have a decent amount of free time because of it.
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Old 05-19-2019, 10:29 PM
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Nowadays I really notice it's a departure from normalcy when people sit down, explain themselves, want to explore the issues at hand, figure out how I'm feeling, talk through the various courses of action and select the right one.

Pretty much I brush those people off because who has time for that shit? Get to the goddamn point already.
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Old 05-20-2019, 07:54 PM
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There is certainly a noticeable drop in the Aloha spirit in Hawaii between when the wife and I were students here in the early 1990s and now. Road rage in particular is out of control. I blame overcrowding. The population of Honolulu and the state as well has grown 25% since our student days, and there's a proportional increase in automobiles. I rode a bicycle everywhere back then but consider it would be suicidal today.
I do remember reading a big news story out of Honolulu few years ago. It seems one driver honked (twice!) at another who was trying to pass him. He was convicted of "Hawaiian Road Rage" and sentenced to 10 years hard chillin'.

Seriously--I'm trying to imagine what passes for road rage in Hawaii.
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Old 05-21-2019, 05:37 AM
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tl;dr
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Old 05-21-2019, 06:39 AM
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Could someone summarize the responses so far; ain't nobody got time to read all this.
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Old 05-21-2019, 09:15 AM
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It seems to me like people these days aren't as relaxed due to the stresses of everyday life. They also want certain things done in a quicker manner rather than being patient about it.

So, what's the main cause of this & what would fix this problem?
This place never disappoints.

Speaking for myself, I'm just sick of advertising everywhere, all the time. You know how you'll hear women complain sometimes about just wanting to go out with some friends but there's always some guy wanting to stick a dick into her? It's like that. I just want to watch TV/check out a website/drive to work/go hiking/have dinner/take my dog to the vet/whatever, and it's impossible to do it without someone wanting to stick their hand into my wallet. So when I do venture out, I try to get the mission accomplished as quickly as possible so I can get back to the relative peace of home. If someone delays my mission by trying to engage me in a conversation (invariably an attempt to get into my wallet!) I lose just a little bit more of my mind. Goddamned Girl Scouts with their cookies barricading the entrance to the grocery store are the worst. I usually end up punching one or two of the more chatty ones every year.

So yeah, um, I'm in a hurry to get away from "fantastic once in a lifetime deals". I'm grouchy because I've gone into the world, and you'll get grouched at if you're holding me up. What would fix it is if everyone would just stay home until I'm done doing what I need to do, and if you can't manage that then at least don't engage me. I'm not smiling, so fuck off already.
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Old 05-21-2019, 11:57 AM
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Another retail person here. I can be accepting payment from a customer and another person will come to the line and say "Can you open another register?" What, you can't wait two minutes?

And don't get me started on the people who can't put down their damn device for the two minutes it takes me to make a transaction. No, they got to on that device and I have to say everything at least twice before they respond.

As my sister put it "Reality is now irrelevant." Nothing matters but that device.
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:40 PM
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What, you can't wait two minutes?
Two minutes or 15? Some stores are great, but others have three lanes open and 10 closed and lines at every register and that bugs me.

I'm a big proponent of no more than 40 hours a week. I think employees should be paid extra if they have to tend to emails off the clock. I have several hours a day where I am not just relaxing. But I don't like waiting in line. I'm not asking anyone to work on their break (and I've never asked for a lane to be opened) but I certainly think more employees and enough lanes open to minimize waiting is a plus. And yes, I'm willing to pay more for it. And to pay more for grocery store and fast food workers to be paid a certain wage - I think a full-time job should at least support a single adult in a one-bedroom apartment. Of course, I also know many of those aren't full time.
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:50 PM
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I'm retired so I finally have time to slow down.

My wife's best friend couldn't believe how exhausted she was when we had "one little baby." After all, how much trouble could taking care of a baby be while you also had a full-time job. So we let her take the baby for a weekend. You know, when no one had to go to work.

She apologized profusely to my wife. Yeah, there are a lot of people who are lucky to even get a chance to go through the drive-through at McDonalds.

As for those young, single, carefree folks, they're all working 50+ hours a week, running errands before, after, or during work, and trying to have some kind of social life, even if it's only online. And those middle-aged empty nesters who are coasting to retirement? Ask them how much time they spend helping out their aging parents.
Retirement has brought me to a state of apathy with the universe. I'll get to it when I get to it.
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:50 PM
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Two minutes or 15? Some stores are great, but others have three lanes open and 10 closed and lines at every register and that bugs me
The 13 lanes are to create the illusion of a successful business: "When we're really hopping we get all 13 going! But this is a slow time so we only have 3" (Lookin at you, WalMart) So hey this MUST be the place to shop!

In reality, they have no intention of opening another lane if it means you're not going to spend at least 10 minutes staring at the impulse buy rack. They want one more buck out of you, and this is where they intend to get it.
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Old 05-21-2019, 06:34 PM
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tl; dr

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Old 05-22-2019, 02:04 AM
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tl; dr
Obviously...

Now that I have time for a less flippant answer than before, one thing to keep in mind is that we are in an attention economy, people's attention has become a ruthlessly sought commodity. Most people these days are at the end of a chain constantly being yanked here and there. look at this!, look at that! over there, shiny!.
Things have been set up so that people are expected to be up to date with everything, rushing news, TV series, this and that, constantly hooked to external external stimuli.
There's no money to be made from people being immersed in their own thoughts or spending time with others (without that being an excuse to consume something, as in all the ads showing friends congregated around a product); so that is insidiously discouraged.
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Old 05-22-2019, 11:35 PM
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I do remember reading a big news story out of Honolulu few years ago. It seems one driver honked (twice!) at another who was trying to pass him. He was convicted of "Hawaiian Road Rage" and sentenced to 10 years hard chillin'.

Seriously--I'm trying to imagine what passes for road rage in Hawaii.
I do not believe someone went to jail here for 10 days let alone 10 years just for honking. I'll need a cite. But I am familiar with cases in which someone honked at someone, and then the honkee chased after him and shot him dead, and he to jail. I've personally witnessed drivers trying to force other cars off the road, which is not uncommon in Honolulu.
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Last edited by Siam Sam; 05-22-2019 at 11:36 PM.
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Old 05-23-2019, 08:00 AM
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I think you got whooshed. Unless I'm grossly misunderstanding Hawaiian culture, "10 years hard chillin" would mean he was forced to sit on the beach with a cold drink and relax. If you're really bad you may be forced to spend a few hours a day submerged in seawater with nothing but a plastic tube to help you breathe. Brutal island savages.
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Old 05-23-2019, 08:11 AM
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I think you got whooshed. Unless I'm grossly misunderstanding Hawaiian culture, "10 years hard chillin" would mean he was forced to sit on the beach with a cold drink and relax. If you're really bad you may be forced to spend a few hours a day submerged in seawater with nothing but a plastic tube to help you breathe. Brutal island savages.
Twenty some years ago I was visiting Dominica. Touring the island I noticed a small building with bars over the windows. I chuckled and asked my driver if there was so little crime on the island that they could get away with such a tiny jail. Nope, that was the jail for kids. Children who were truant, or otherwise misbehaved. Islands can be tough.
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Old 05-23-2019, 11:07 PM
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I think you got whooshed. Unless I'm grossly misunderstanding Hawaiian culture, "10 years hard chillin" would mean he was forced to sit on the beach with a cold drink and relax. If you're really bad you may be forced to spend a few hours a day submerged in seawater with nothing but a plastic tube to help you breathe. Brutal island savages.
It's true I was wondering what that breeze was. I guess I mistook it for our gentle trade winds.
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Old 05-24-2019, 07:54 AM
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Some of it's the phones. Some of it's the attention grabbing. Some of it's that now generally every adult in a household is supposed to be working for pay, with the result that any housekeeping and/or child care that gets done needs to be done during "spare" time.

And some of it, I think, is that we've wound up with a culture that thinks everybody ought to always be doing something. Even "recreational" time is supposed to be spent actively doing something, whether it's a sport or getting a massage or trying to keep up with social media. Even young children are supposed to have supervised activities. Just plain sitting and staring at the sky, or at a tree, or at what's going on in the grass*, or at what's going on in one's own head, is something that we're trained not to do to the extent that many people are horribly uncomfortable at the very idea.




*quite a bit, if you look hard enough; especially if you're not looking at a single-species lawn poisoned within an inch of its life.
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Old 05-24-2019, 08:03 AM
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Maybe people are rushed and impatient, but I'd be surprised if it's really a problem particular to "these days." People are pretty consistent over time, and a lot of the modern problems are only possible because we've saved time dealing with other problems, like cooking and washing clothes, which used to be hugely laborious tasks.

Last edited by Lord Feldon; 05-24-2019 at 08:05 AM.
  #33  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:37 AM
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It's been six days since the OP and people are still just getting around to making their first post in the thread?

C'mon folks, get with it. How can it possibly take so long to reply to a thread????

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Old 05-24-2019, 10:49 AM
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I think there's been a turn for the worse in the past few decades in terms of what's expected of people from their jobs, both in terms of on-premise work hours, as well as after hours via email/text.

So while our parents were able to work a strict 8-5 with an hour of lunch, and have no expectation of calls/emails at home, that's not something many people get away with these days.

Combine that with longer commutes, heightened child care expectations and a general expectation that whatever you do, you have to do it in some kind of exceptional fashion, and it's not surprising to me that they're feeling harried.

Look at it this way- if you wake up at 6 and it takes you 45 minutes to get ready and another 15 minutes to get your coffee/breakfast/children's stuff ready, then you're leaving for work at 7. If you then have an hour commute, you're getting there at 8 am.

Let's say you work 9 hour days... you're now leaving at 6 pm, driving that hour (or more) back. You're getting back near your house at 7 pm. And you have to go work out. Now you're getting back at 8. At some point you have to eat- if you're not picking something up, you're probably taking a minimum of 30 minutes to prep and eat it. It's now 8:30 and you may have to do laundry, dishes, put your kids to bed, read to them, etc.... You're probably not getting any kind of a break until about 9:30 I'd guess.

So people try and cram stuff into the little gaps- working out during lunch, listening to audiobooks on their commutes, etc... But that's its own kind of stress trying to manage all that, and that tends to make people irritable and stressed out.
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Old 05-24-2019, 04:16 PM
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So you make some compromises and maybe take a smaller salary for a job that's closer, with more flexible hours. I did that (oh, and biked to work which gets the workout out of the way), and quickly learned how to get ready in 15 min.


(watch for my TED talk where I demonstrate my 5-minute shower...)
  #36  
Old 05-25-2019, 08:48 AM
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I'm semi-retired. I still work a bit, but not on a 9-to-5 basis. It's very difficult for me to get bored...life is too great to miss by making it go by faster. Since I retired, the following have become blindingly obvious to me:

Too many people expect IMMEDIATE responses. For example, I teach a certain one-day class about five times a year. Last week, I had a guy try to reach me (or my partner in the company) SEVEN times between 9:00 AM and noon to see when our next class was scheduled. Seriously, he e-mailed me on two different addresses, left a message on my home phone, e-mailed my partner (a "Need info?" link on our website), left a message on the company phone twice, and sent a Facebook message. When he didn't have a response by noon, he tried the two phone numbers again.

Another big group of people don't give sufficient consideration to what they are going to say/write before they respond. I hardly ever got "nastygrams" when I was in the office ten years ago, but now I get all sorts of ill-considered responses and communications that are obviously the product of a person who was emotionally-charged. Angry about a matter? Frustrated? Stressed? Put it away, give yourself a couple hours to cool off, and then respond in a courteous and professional manner.

Last edited by ZonexandScout; 05-25-2019 at 08:48 AM.
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Old 05-25-2019, 12:07 PM
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Speaking like their ass is on fire. Some companies have outgoing voicemail messages that are spoken so quickly I can barely track. And they want me to make note of a website dot com slash slash slash. Nope.
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