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  #1501  
Old 05-02-2019, 10:34 AM
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The man has no shame. It has been proven.
  #1502  
Old 05-02-2019, 08:05 PM
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Neither do I.
  #1503  
Old 05-02-2019, 08:59 PM
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Bad, bad, bad.
  #1504  
Old 05-02-2019, 09:20 PM
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... I’m nationwide ...
  #1505  
Old 05-03-2019, 07:57 AM
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I'm not, but I do have a little house outside LaGrange...
  #1506  
Old 05-03-2019, 09:15 AM
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So what happens here?
  #1507  
Old 05-03-2019, 09:19 AM
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I'm not, but I do have a little house outside LaGrange...
It's not a house, it's just a shack.
  #1508  
Old 05-03-2019, 01:53 PM
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Who said "Chicken"?
  #1509  
Old 05-03-2019, 02:22 PM
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Jesus been waitin' for the bus. All day.
  #1510  
Old 05-03-2019, 04:26 PM
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There's always Uber.
  #1511  
Old 05-03-2019, 05:03 PM
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I want to start a scurrilous internet rumor that says researchers have identified the cause of autism, which arises from an immune system misfire in infancy where certain leukocytes attack parts of the nervous system, and they have come up with a protein complex that suppresses the attack, so now, with a single injection, you can immunize your baby against autism. Because, who does not like to see heads asplode?

Of course, the long-term effects of the vaccination have not been studied: we will have to wait a couple decades to find out what they might be, but one expert has suggested that it is likely that the individuals vaccinated will develop an aversion to colorful glowing rectangles.
  #1512  
Old 05-03-2019, 05:19 PM
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Gah!!
  #1513  
Old 05-05-2019, 01:57 AM
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Jesus been waitin' for the bus. All day.
I thought Jesus just left Chicago.
  #1514  
Old 05-06-2019, 10:10 AM
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He did. He was bound for New Orleans.

Quote:
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It's not a house, it's just a shack.
On man's Shaq is another mans Manson.
  #1515  
Old 05-06-2019, 10:25 AM
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I have a friend in him.
  #1516  
Old 05-06-2019, 10:28 AM
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They call me, "Thread Killer".
  #1517  
Old 05-06-2019, 10:35 AM
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really, they do
  #1518  
Old 05-07-2019, 09:37 AM
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They call me, "Thread Killer".
Snerk. You ain't even a thread wounder. I, OTOH, am a thread wonder.
  #1519  
Old 05-07-2019, 10:43 AM
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They call me, "Thread Killer".
Do your worst.
  #1520  
Old 05-07-2019, 10:18 PM
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Snerk. You ain't even a thread wounder. I, OTOH, am a thread wonder.
Try Wonder Thread! It builds something something something 12 ways!
  #1521  
Old 05-08-2019, 12:03 AM
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Hah!
  #1522  
Old 05-08-2019, 07:49 AM
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Use Wonder Thread to slice, dice and julienne fries! Cleans and sanitizes! Comes with a full lifetime warranty! Not available in stores.
  #1523  
Old 05-08-2019, 10:00 AM
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It's no Bass-O-Matic, I'll say that much.
  #1524  
Old 05-08-2019, 10:06 AM
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You're not going to be allowed to end this thread, EH, so just put it out of your mind right now!
  #1525  
Old 05-08-2019, 10:15 AM
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Yeah! What she said!
  #1526  
Old 05-08-2019, 03:59 PM
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I'm sorry, where you saying something...?
  #1527  
Old 05-08-2019, 04:05 PM
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Where? Right here!
  #1528  
Old 05-08-2019, 04:08 PM
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Obviously I meant "were."
  #1529  
Old 05-08-2019, 04:14 PM
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I don't know. It kinda made since to me
  #1530  
Old 05-09-2019, 08:23 AM
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Were what? Werewolf, wereleopard, weredog, werecutefuzzyrabbitwithatasteforbrains?
  #1531  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:27 AM
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Where were we?
  #1532  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:37 AM
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Just count yourself lucky to not be living in a werehouse. Once a month, those things get scary for a couple of nights.
  #1533  
Old 05-09-2019, 11:53 AM
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I heard there's a canid called the werwer. It lives in Indonesia.
Where werwers were weird, but were-werwers were worse.
  #1534  
Old 05-09-2019, 10:48 PM
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Were you about to post something?
  #1535  
Old 05-09-2019, 11:04 PM
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We're he're.
  #1536  
Old 05-15-2019, 08:27 AM
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Where?
  #1537  
Old 05-21-2019, 01:27 PM
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this one (multiple) place(s)
  #1538  
Old 05-21-2019, 06:08 PM
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I sure do like what you've done to the place.
  #1539  
Old 05-21-2019, 06:10 PM
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Oh, this old place! :::: flutters eyelashes::::
  #1540  
Old 05-21-2019, 06:12 PM
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Well, I haven't died...

Wait, have I?

Gotta go check, I'll get back to ya.
  #1541  
Old 05-21-2019, 07:55 PM
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Reminds me of the classic cartoon of the guy huddled in the mountain snow, confronting an enthusiastic Saint Bernard, “Death seemed preferable to drinking from a barrel covered with frozen dog slobber.”
  #1542  
Old 05-21-2019, 08:10 PM
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^ THIS is more like it!
  #1543  
Old 05-22-2019, 08:14 AM
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O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?

Death: "Dammit, I had them just a minute ago..."
  #1544  
Old 05-22-2019, 10:26 AM
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O, death
O, death
Won't you spare me
Over till another year?
What is this that can't be said?
Icy cold hands takin' hold of this thread
  #1545  
Old 05-22-2019, 12:35 PM
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You cannot kill what isn't alive. Unless you're, Me.
  #1546  
Old 05-23-2019, 07:44 AM
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This thread gives the Grim Reaper nightmares.
  #1547  
Old 05-23-2019, 09:38 AM
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This thread gives the Grim Reaper nightmares.
And you call yourself a doctor?
  #1548  
Old 05-23-2019, 09:55 AM
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The truly amazing thing is that for this to succeed, all we have to do is... nothing.

And we can't even do that!
  #1549  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:46 PM
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I'll try.
  #1550  
Old 05-23-2019, 08:27 PM
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You're not trying hard enough to do nothing.
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