Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:23 PM
FairyChatMom's Avatar
FairyChatMom is online now
I'm nice, dammit!
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern Merrylande
Posts: 41,274

How many non-family weddings have you attended?


Dinsdale's thread reminded me that I wanted to ask this question. How many weddings have you attended where you weren't related to either of the happy couple?

I've been to 1 - a friend from the Navy. She married in the late 80s or early 90s. For frame of reference, I'm 65.

Two of my closer high school friends married when I was stationed across the country. Another never married. And since leaving high school, with the exception of the one friend, all were married already or never married.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm glad - even when it's family, I find the whole wedding thing tedious. Spousal unit and I eloped.
  #2  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:31 PM
kenobi 65's Avatar
kenobi 65 is offline
Corellian Nerfherder
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Brookfield, IL
Posts: 14,761
I've been to a lot of weddings of friends, and a few of co-workers (who also counted as friends ). The number is high enough that I've lost count, but I'd say it's at least a dozen, and maybe as many as 20.
  #3  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:33 PM
Filbert is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,413
I have never been to a wedding.

Not intentionally; I've been in the wrong hemisphere, moving house the same day or otherwise unable to make it for a few.
  #4  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:40 PM
romansperson's Avatar
romansperson is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,612
I've only been to weddings of people I'm not related to! I have a really small family - in my lifetime (I'm in my late 50s) the only relatives that have gotten married were my three cousins on my mom's side of the family. All of them live halfway across the country and one didn't have a wedding, so I didn't go to any of those. I went to almost all of my high school and college friends' weddings though.
  #5  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:46 PM
SpoilerVirgin is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: An antique land
Posts: 7,119
At least 7: 5 for good friends and 2 for co-workers that I recall.

I've been to at least 6 for family members.
  #6  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:53 PM
Colibri's Avatar
Colibri is offline
SD Curator of Critters
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Panama
Posts: 42,317
Two. Twice close friends have invited me to their weddings and I was able to go.

Otherwise, AFAIK I've only been to the weddings of my aunt, two of my siblings (I gave my sister away since my father wasn't able to) and my nephew. I think I've been to a reception or two where I didn't go to the wedding.
  #7  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:53 PM
Jophiel's Avatar
Jophiel is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Chicago suburbia
Posts: 19,104
Probably around ten between friends of mine, being someone else's +1 and a co-worker wedding. Heck, I'd guess most of my weddings have been non-family events.
  #8  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:54 PM
borschevsky is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,083
I can think of 12 specifically, and there may be a couple others that I'm not remembering at the moment.
  #9  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:09 PM
Dallas Jones is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Orygun forest
Posts: 4,823
Not many lately but when I first met my current wife she was 30 years old and most of her friends were about the same age more or less. And she has a large pool of friends, so for a couple of years there were many weddings to go to. Like 3 or 4 per year, for a couple of years. Everyone seemed to be at the marrying age. Not so much now as 20 years have passed and we are out of that age group.
  #10  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:12 PM
naita is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Norway
Posts: 6,387
Four. Two of them for the same guy. My closest friends since elementary school and up, so not that far from family.

I've meant to go to a couple more, but stuff came up at the last minute.
  #11  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:15 PM
kayaker's Avatar
kayaker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 31,709
Leaving out the five where I was the officiant, probably ten (aka too many).
  #12  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:18 PM
KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 26,021
One, I think.

That's assuming "not related to" includes "not related to by marriage," as I've been to 2-3 for people related to Mrs. ToKnow.
  #13  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:21 PM
ZipperJJ's Avatar
ZipperJJ is online now
Just Lovely and Delicious
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 25,242
I think about 15 have been non-family and maybe about that many have been family.

I've been to a lot of weddings. They're fun!

Last edited by ZipperJJ; 05-23-2019 at 01:23 PM. Reason: Fixed number. Remembered a few more!
  #14  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:26 PM
Telemark's Avatar
Telemark is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Yet again, Titletown
Posts: 22,553
Probably about 10, lots of friends after college, and then later in my 30's with a whole new group of friends. Now a few more of my wife's friends have been added.

Last edited by Telemark; 05-23-2019 at 01:26 PM.
  #15  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:07 PM
ftg's Avatar
ftg is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Not the PNW :-(
Posts: 19,215
2 that I can think of. (Really haven't been to that many overall.)

The first one was interesting due to the nature of my relationship to the couple.

A friend of mine and I both moved away and started at the same University at the same time, but different areas. The roommate he had then somehow met a fellow grad student in my dept. so I was quite obligated to attend when they got married. Their meeting and all had nothing to do with me or my friend. Sometimes it's a small world.

The other was the kid of longterm friends of ours. Mrs. FtG has been a quasi-grandmother to the kid. But not actual family.
  #16  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:44 PM
begbert2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 12,525
Two, I think. One for a friend of a friend I was only vaguely aware of; I honestly don't know why I went. I recall that there was a lot of drinking at the on-site reception afterwards; it wasn't really my thing.

The second was for the friend itself. It was really religious; they held frikking communion right in the middle of the ceremony. It really wasn't my thing.
  #17  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:51 PM
puzzlegal's Avatar
puzzlegal is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,281
Hmm, it depends what you mean by "wedding". For instance, there was the couple who got a quick civil marriage for immigration purposes, and then threw big weddings in his hometown (near me, I was invite) and her hometown (in China, a handful of closer friends were invited, but I wasn't.) Does that count?

How about the couple who had a small family wedding near where her family lived, and then had a big reception/party where they had lived until right before the marriage?

Anyway, enough that I haven't kept count, but maybe they don't all "count"?
  #18  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:58 PM
Miss Mapp's Avatar
Miss Mapp is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Rockville, MD
Posts: 3,107
I can only think of one, my best friend's.
__________________
Miss Elizabeth Mapp might have been forty, and she had taken advantage of this opportunity by being just a year or two older.
- E.F. Benson, "Miss Mapp"
  #19  
Old 05-23-2019, 04:04 PM
begbert2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 12,525
I shall note that while I've attended two non-family weddings, I haven't attended any family weddings, because they're all mormon and I'm not invited (or even permitted) to attend.

I have been to two or three of their receptions, though. Red punch and sheet cake in a barely-decorated mormon church building cultural hall. With a hoop up high and basketball court markings in the carpet.
  #20  
Old 05-23-2019, 04:25 PM
Springtime for Spacers is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,963
Seven or eight, a couple every decade.
  #21  
Old 05-23-2019, 04:32 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor's Avatar
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Dogpatch/Middle TN.
Posts: 31,029
Non-family?
None.
__________________
"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
~~~Dom Helder Camara
  #22  
Old 05-23-2019, 04:36 PM
glee is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Obama country
Posts: 15,371
I've been to every wedding of my roleplaying group* - which makes three (as three of us are still single.)

*started in 1979 and still playing AD+D 1st Edition!
  #23  
Old 05-23-2019, 04:42 PM
Lancia's Avatar
Lancia is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Denial
Posts: 1,718
2 that I can think of, both coworkers about ten years ago. There may have been another than I'm not remembering.

I don't particularly like weddings. I didn't like my own and now that 15 years have passed I think both my wife and I agree that it was too big for our tastes, even though it was pretty small by most people's standards.

Actually I just remembered a third I've attended: a friend of ours who got married last year. It was outdoors, I wore a Hawaiian shirt and denim shorts, dinner was bbq, someone had a ghetto blaster playing Jimmy Buffett, and there were half-barrels filled with ice and soda. It was about as low-key as you could get and one of the best weddings I've been to: much more like a block party than a wedding.
  #24  
Old 05-23-2019, 05:09 PM
DCnDC's Avatar
DCnDC is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Dueling Grounds
Posts: 11,923
A lot. At least a dozen. Most were in town or an hour or two drive, but a few were destination weddings. Tulum (Mexico), New Orleans, Lisbon.
  #25  
Old 05-23-2019, 05:20 PM
TriPolar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: rhode island
Posts: 40,357
I can recall five. There might be one or two more. Wait, just remembered a sixth.
  #26  
Old 05-23-2019, 05:29 PM
iamthewalrus(:3= is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 11,752
I took a few minutes, and I can think of 19 that I've been to as an adult. I bet there's one or two I'm not remembering. I believe my parents took me to some as a kid as well and they probably weren't all family but I don't remember for sure.

I'm counting the one where I missed the actual ceremony due to traffic (fuck you, LA), but made it for the reception.

Same as Telemark. Two clusters, one a few years after college, one in my 30s. It's definitely tapering off. Most of my friends I've known for a long time are now married, and most of my new friends are married couples with little kids.
  #27  
Old 05-23-2019, 05:53 PM
FairyChatMom's Avatar
FairyChatMom is online now
I'm nice, dammit!
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern Merrylande
Posts: 41,274
Ah, yes, the missed wedding... We'd been invited to the wedding of the receptionist where my husband worked. We were going to go with another coworker because parking would be tight. Said coworker was notoriously late. Yep, we missed the ceremony. And said coworker was supposed to videotape it for them. Yeah...
  #28  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:00 PM
pulykamell is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: SW Side, Chicago
Posts: 47,202
More non-family than family, I think. (Not counting the weddings I've worked. As a photographer, I've been to over 300 weddings at this point.) I'm guessing about 10 friends weddings and 5 family?
  #29  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:01 PM
Leaffan's Avatar
Leaffan is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 24,339
I've been to more weddings for friends than relatives, because most of my relatives live in a different country thousands of miles away.

I estimate 6 for family and 11 for friends.
  #30  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:25 PM
DinoR is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,458
I can recall four non-family weddings for sure. Two were military friends; one involved getting to play with large cutlery. There was one invite from a friend from high school not long after college. There was also at least one Big Fat Greek Wedding* based on neighbors from most of my childhood. I think maybe a second BFGW.

One I am not counting is my best friend from the late college. I was technically in attendance at her first marriage...as the groom. For some reason she didn't invite me to her second.

* I almost wet myself because I was laughing so hard the first time I saw that movie. It was only mild hyperbole of my reality.
  #31  
Old 05-23-2019, 07:16 PM
Baker is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Tottering-on-the-Brink
Posts: 20,101
I went to the wedding of two fellow students in my business fraternity, and the wedding of my sixth-grade teacher. So that is three.
__________________
Never give up, never surrender!
  #32  
Old 05-23-2019, 08:19 PM
Oredigger77 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Back at 5,280
Posts: 4,854
I've only been to one family wedding, my sister, though my sister in law married my good friend from hugh school so that might count as two is in laws count as family and then my parents got remarried in the catholic church while I was in high school which was stupid so I wouldn't count that and neither does the state. So between 1 and 3 for family.

For non family I've been to 15 or so and I think that should be close to the end of people who would invite me to a wedding so maybe a couple of second marriages before Its time to start going to the next generation's weddings.
  #33  
Old 05-23-2019, 09:00 PM
TriPolar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: rhode island
Posts: 40,357
Quote:
Originally Posted by TriPolar View Post
I can recall five. There might be one or two more. Wait, just remembered a sixth.
I forgot the most recent one just two years ago so that makes seven. There must be more.
  #34  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:01 PM
Eo Echo is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 1,327
Five. All friends or coworkers. I was in the wedding party for three, two of them as a groomsman, one as best man. And two others as a guest.
__________________
Associate yourself with the insane. It keeps things interesting.
  #35  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:07 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,506
Back in college, it was like 3 receptions or so a week for about 3 years. I worked as a roadie for a primarily wedding DJ. Though usually I was just there for load in, sound check and load out. But we also did sound reinforcement for a lot of the actual weddings. Which usually meant I had to stay for the whole ceremony so I could load out that system as soon as it was over and move it across town for some other reception.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #36  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:28 PM
kenobi 65's Avatar
kenobi 65 is offline
Corellian Nerfherder
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Brookfield, IL
Posts: 14,761
I should also note that two of the non-family weddings I've attended have been the weddings of my former girlfriends (in both cases, the breakups had been amicable). One of those two was also the (so far) only same-sex marriage I've attended.
  #37  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:48 PM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 40,734
Three that I can think of offhand including one as a small child. Plus a reception in Bangkok. I have never attended the wedding of a relative.
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #38  
Old 05-24-2019, 06:57 AM
SanVito is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: The Big Smoke
Posts: 4,518
It actually surprises me how few weddings people in this thread have been to.

I've been to FAR more friends' weddings than family. Family account for, maybe, five? Whereas friends, I literally have no idea. 15? 20?
  #39  
Old 05-24-2019, 06:58 AM
puzzlegal's Avatar
puzzlegal is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,281
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanVito View Post
It actually surprises me how few weddings people in this thread have been to.

I've been to FAR more friends' weddings than family. Family account for, maybe, five? Whereas friends, I literally have no idea. 15? 20?
I had the same reaction. I suppose i could try to count, but I'd probably miss some, and it doesn't seem worth the effort.

Last edited by puzzlegal; 05-24-2019 at 06:58 AM.
  #40  
Old 05-24-2019, 07:03 AM
FairyChatMom's Avatar
FairyChatMom is online now
I'm nice, dammit!
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Southern Merrylande
Posts: 41,274
I honestly can't recall how many family weddings I attended, probably because I was so young when some cousins married. Apart from 3 of my sibs, I recall 3 or 4 of my cousins, and there might have been 3 other cousins along the way. And I think there was one uncle in the mix. And one BIL. And my daughter.
  #41  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:33 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 38,737
I quickly came up with more than a dozen weddings either of friends or the children of friends, and I'm sure there's some that have slipped my mind, and some instances where I honestly can't remember whether I was at a particular couple's wedding back in the 1970s. (Was I at David and Betsy's wedding? Carl and Sally's? After all this time, hell if I know.)

I've only attended six or seven family weddings, since all our cousins lived at least halfway across the country so we only attended one or two cousins' weddings.
  #42  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:37 AM
Lancia's Avatar
Lancia is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Denial
Posts: 1,718
Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
One of those two was also the (so far) only same-sex marriage I've attended.
This reminded me of another non-family wedding I've attended. It was the smallest wedding I've ever been to: besides the two brides and their kids, my wife and I and one of their friends attended. They had another friend officiate and the ceremony was held in their living room. We had dinner and some cake afterward. Another ceremony that was about as far from traditional as you can get.

Now I'm seriously questioning my memory.
  #43  
Old 05-24-2019, 10:54 AM
TokyoBayer's Avatar
TokyoBayer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Taiwan
Posts: 10,338
Quote:
Originally Posted by begbert2 View Post
I have been to two or three of their receptions, though. Red punch and sheet cake in a barely-decorated mormon church building cultural hall. With a hoop up high and basketball court markings in the carpet.
I went to a bunch of Mormon receptions.

This is exactly how they were. I went to a bunch of them as well. I can’t count the amount of red punch I drank. Huge family plus many people from the congregation.

I went to three receptions for friends in Utah when I was in my 20s, as well as a ton of family ones.

Also, one non-Mormon wedding where my girlfriend at the time was playing the harp and I had a pickup truck so I took her, but that doesn’t count.

Weddings for two friends in Japan and a coworker. My wife’s friends got married in Korea so we went there.

We went to the reception of one of her colleagues in Taiwan.

So four countries.
  #44  
Old 05-24-2019, 11:03 AM
kayaker's Avatar
kayaker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 31,709
Quote:
Originally Posted by begbert2 View Post
I have been to two or three of their receptions, though.
OK, to me, attending a reception = attending a wedding.

I rarely go to the church part (out of fear I'll be struck by lightning), so if I am invited to a wedding, I show up at the reception with my gift. My friends pretty much do the same thing. Maybe it's a regional thing, because I've talked to people from elsewhere who were shocked by this.
  #45  
Old 05-24-2019, 11:19 AM
The wind of my soul is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 1,921
I can think of 10 that I attended. Since you mentioned ones you could not attend in your OP, I can think of another 3 that I was invited to but did not attend.

And if it weren't for the year 2014, that number would be way smaller. In 2014, (a) I got married, (b) I was a bridesmaid in two out-of-town weddings, (c) I was a maid of honor in a local wedding, and (d) I was invited to three other weddings, two of which I attended. That was a busy and expensive year.

P.S. Just to clarify, I'm not counting my own wedding as one of the ten. Just wanted to emphasize exactly how busy the year 2014 was.

Last edited by The wind of my soul; 05-24-2019 at 11:19 AM.
  #46  
Old 05-24-2019, 04:42 PM
gkster is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4,807
I've attended the same number of family and non-family weddings--my count comes to 18 of each, and there are probably a couple that I'm forgetting.
  #47  
Old 05-24-2019, 06:44 PM
begbert2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 12,525
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
OK, to me, attending a reception = attending a wedding.

I rarely go to the church part (out of fear I'll be struck by lightning), so if I am invited to a wedding, I show up at the reception with my gift. My friends pretty much do the same thing. Maybe it's a regional thing, because I've talked to people from elsewhere who were shocked by this.
Mormons often hold their receptions in their church buildings (it's a free venue!) so there's no escape. Bring a lightning rod.
  #48  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:09 PM
Tastes of Chocolate is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: slightly north of center
Posts: 4,757
About 25 since I became an adult. I'm sure there were a few more when I was a kid, but I'm not specifically remembering them.
__________________
2 + 2 = 5, for very large values of 2
  #49  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:12 PM
ThelmaLou's Avatar
ThelmaLou is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 15,734
Quote:
Originally Posted by romansperson View Post
I've only been to weddings of people I'm not related to!...
Same here.
__________________
"Itís not who starts the game, but who finishes it." John Havlicek
  #50  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:31 PM
Ulf the Unwashed is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,376
I got 7...no, 8. I expect there are others I can't think of just now. An odd assortment of people...my best friend from childhood, two friends from college marrying each other, a former student of mine (I teach in an elementary school), the son of friends of ours, a woman who became friendly with my wife for juuuust long enough to invite us to her wedding. Not any kind of clear pattern.

We did have two invitations in a week not all that long ago, and accepted provisionally, but then had to decline both at the last minute because our grandson came a little early.

Like some and unlike many, I have been to substantially more family weddings than nonfamily weddings. I guess we unwashed folks need to, um, stick together.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:16 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017