Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 06-07-2003, 03:42 PM
CyberPundit is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,036
I tend to be quite picky about what movies I watch so I rarely see really bad films.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Phantom Menace are among the worst I have seen.
  #102  
Old 06-07-2003, 04:11 PM
Lumpy's Avatar
Lumpy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota US
Posts: 16,944
I've sat through some pretty bad movies. Ishtar? Boring but not particularly painful. Mac and Me? I thought it was a 90 minute commercial, but sat through it anyway. I've watched Slithis, Santa Claus conquers the Martians, Zardoz, Cool World, lots of others. But there have been precisely two movies that I have walked out of the theater from:

The Shape of Things to Come. Here I thought it would be a remake of the famous 1930s SF classic. Instead, I get what looks like a kiddie matinee starrting Jack Palance.

and Winds of Change, an animated feature narrated by Peter Ustinov. I think I lasted through the first of the five segments before being totally alienated by it's weird symbolism and artistic pretentiousness.

Dishonorable Mention: On TV once I caught the last half of - well technically I guess you'd have to call it a horror movie. It featured a little girl in what looked like the 1920s rural South fleeing from zombies and witches through a series of haunted houses and ghost towns. In the end, they catch her and she joins the ranks of the undead. Maybe the weirdest thing I've ever layed eyes on. Anyone know what the hell that was?
  #103  
Old 06-07-2003, 04:40 PM
The Man With The Golden Gun is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,136
Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Death
Gay Niggers From Outer Space [/B]
This has got to be one of the best movie titles out there.

Another terrible movie: Feeders 2. This abomination is a sci-fi movie featuring aliens invading the Earth on Christmas. The funny thing is, the first Feeders has the aliens destroy the Earth, and kill all the main characters. In Feeders 2, not only is the Earth distinctly NOT destroyed, but two of the characters who died in the first Feeders are back. The aliens are easily the dumbest, cheapest, and most juvenile looking things out there. Just picture a baseball painted dark green, then two gobs of red paint are put on it for eyes, then glitter is put on it. The aliens don't really move, they just bob up and down. Then there's the fact that the people who die are shown with no introduction or development whatsoever, and are killed off just as suddenly. Finally, the aliens attack, get ready, Santa Claus. Yes, Santa Claus. They jump out of their spaceship and attack him and his elf. The sleigh crashes, and Santa yells "I'LL GET YOU, YOU CHRISTMAS SABOTEURS!" This is the stuff classics are made of. Another poster on here put it very well when he said "Just picture Signs, only with one thousanth of one percent the budget."
  #104  
Old 06-07-2003, 05:05 PM
vl_mungo is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Here
Posts: 1,677
So much crap... so little time.
Here are some of my prime hates:

Showgirls - almost so bad it's good... but not quite.
Moulin Rouge - when they sang that gawdawful Elton John song for the millionth time (about 15 minutes into the movie), I turned off the video and went to see if I could get a refund.
Bad News Bears Go to Japan - a sad end to a good franchise.
Forest Gump - was it just me, or did every scene last the exact length of a classic rock song?
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - self indulgent, pointless twaddle.
Can't Stop the Music - disco died for a damn good reason.
Blues Brothers 2000 - I watched about 10 minutes of it, mostly because I loved the original. I hate Fat Dan Ackroyd.

and one I haven't seen because I know that I will hate it with a passion, and find it to be sacrilege...
Rollerball - the remake. I saw the trailer... that was enough.
__________________
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, tell me what you know..."
Groucho Marx
  #105  
Old 06-07-2003, 05:13 PM
Evil Death is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 1,784
Quote:
Originally posted by Lumpy
Dishonorable Mention: On TV once I caught the last half of - well technically I guess you'd have to call it a horror movie. It featured a little girl in what looked like the 1920s rural South fleeing from zombies and witches through a series of haunted houses and ghost towns. In the end, they catch her and she joins the ranks of the undead. Maybe the weirdest thing I've ever layed eyes on. Anyone know what the hell that was?
Sounds vaguely reminiscent of Canrival of Souls, although I know it isn't.
  #106  
Old 06-07-2003, 07:15 PM
jack@ss is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: salt lake city
Posts: 772
I have seen so many shitty films on TV and video, and all I can think of right now is Lair of the White Worm. This was one of the shitty movies my friends & I used to rent to laugh at around 1990. A very young Hugh Grant in some low-budget film about dragons/worms that come every couple hundred years demanding a virgin sacrifice & vampires in Scotland. They use a horse skull for a dragon fossil. Throughout the movie they use every architectural decorative piece that features a snake or worm in the whole country.
  #107  
Old 06-07-2003, 08:05 PM
fruitbat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 1,582
OOhhhh Lair of the White Worm. You know there are some people out there who consider Ken Russell a good filmmaker. My favorite of his is Whore. It is intended to be a tough expose on the life of a streetwalker. So over the top ridiculous words fail me.

The thing about his movies though is they are never boring. I would like to put them on my list of bad movies, but strangely I will always watch them when they are on.
  #108  
Old 06-07-2003, 09:17 PM
Cicero is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Australia
Posts: 9,562
Quote:
Originally posted by Julius Henry
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians deserves to be on this list, even if it is a children's movie, only because of all the people I've met in my life who refused to believe that a movie of that title could actually exist.

And because of Pia Zadora.

And the oaf playing Santa Claus.

And that stupid Martian guy who was supposed to be funny.

And that GODAWFUL SONG THAT I STILL CAN"T GET OUT OF MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT STUPID MOVIE IN OVER TWENTY YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And just for you 'Hooray for S-a-n-t-e-e C-l-a-u-s-e'
  #109  
Old 06-07-2003, 11:18 PM
Wolfian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: (Oliver) Queen City, OH
Posts: 3,583
For me there are three types of "bad" movie. One is MST3K "bad," where you and the gang can get together, throw back a few cold ones, and mock. Next is eye candy "bad," where you and the gang can get together, throw back a few cold ones, and drool. These two might actually come together such as the MST3Ked "The Horrors of Spider Island."

The final type is just plain awful. This is a movie that sucks all joy out of your life for the amount of time it is on. This type of movie could be used in liu of dementors at Azkaban with similar if not quicker, effects. Blue Crush is one of these movies.

My pals and I really wanted this to be an "eye candy" film, but no. At some point around minute 22 the hot chick with a nice rack line crossed the pain line on the bar graph of my mind. Let us never speak of this film again.
__________________
Straight out of London: lunatike freke namede Geoff C,
From the covin callede “Kynges Affinitee.”
Men who confronte me, my dagger beth killynge them
Hange them on a hempe-rope lyk ther name was Tresilian-
  #110  
Old 06-08-2003, 06:03 AM
Eternal is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,161
Anybody who thinks Battlefield Earth is a the worst movie hasn't seen very many movies. It's at least as bad as five hundred other action/adventure/sci-fi movies out there. But the thing is that those other movies don't have fairly good special effects to at least make them enjoyable at a brainless level.
  #111  
Old 06-08-2003, 10:42 AM
Hey, It's That Guy! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 8,128
I know I'll get flack for this, but here are some movies that I despised with every inch of my being while I was watching them:

1. Pink Flamingos. Disgusting and creepy, this didn't make me laugh once. I think it was meant to "shock the squares," but I can't think of anything redeeming about it. John Waters has done tamer stuff since, that I have actually liked, but this was awful.

2. The Doom Generation. Some director's pretentious wank-fest, nihilistic and perverted and completely useless. Rose McGowan is gorgeous and naked in it, but that wasn't enough to counter-balance the talking severed head, the dog hit by a car, or the neo-Nazi jocks who cut the guy's wang off.

3. Happiness. Do you get the feeling I don't like movies where there aren't any likeable characters? Well here's another one. The same director made Welcome To the Dollhouse, which is probably in my Top Twenty Worst. Depressing and disturbing and full of degenerates, the both of them.

4. Your Friends and Neighbors. Asshole yuppies cheating on each other, and a long, drawn-out monologue by Jason Patric about he and his jock friends gang-raped this guy they used to pick on in high school. The movie feels very claustrophobic as well, because everything takes place indoors.

5. Dazed and Confused. A lot of people like this one, but it puts me in a foul mood every time I see it. Everything bad about high school is here: the cliques, the bullying, the drug use, the pecking order, the good-looking people having sex. This is someone's very romanticized idea of high school, and my idea of hell (watching it, that is).

6. Van Wilder. I avoid the current wave of trashy teen sex comedies, but I was a captive audience for this one. I'm sure there's not an original idea in this whole movie, and it takes "pandering to the lowest common denominator" to a whole new level.

7. Spaced Invaders. Some PG movie about stupid aliens coming to a stupid small town. I can't believe I saw this in the theater. Even when I was a little kid I thought it was garbage.

8. Kung Pow. I love martial arts movies, and as a genre, they are ripe for parodying. This guy Steve Oedekirk completely missed the boat, casting himself in the lead role and filling the whole thing with bad vocal dubs (all by him--and I mean bad-bad, not so-bad-they're-funny) and gags that fail. This is the same guy who makes all those movie parodies starring his THUMB, with little faces superimposed over the thumbs. And worst of all, there's some of that crap in Kung Pow!

9. Hook. I saw this with my family when it came out, and it was so bad, I wanted to walk out. But I was too young to go anywhere by myself, and everyone else seemed to be enjoying it, and I would have gotten in trouble for being rude. But I couldn't stand it.

10. Dreamcatcher. This was like a bad episode of South Park, complete with a ridiculous alien invasion, Morgan Freeman as a crazed black-ops military leader, heroic childhood friends who got super powers from a retarded kid who was really a friendly alien, and monsters that crawled in and out of people's asses and looked like giant pieces of crap with sharp teeth.
  #112  
Old 06-08-2003, 11:09 AM
Flowerchild is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Strawberry Fields Forever
Posts: 661
Posted by Zenster:
  #113  
Old 06-08-2003, 11:11 AM
Flowerchild is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Strawberry Fields Forever
Posts: 661
Posted by Zenster:
Quote:
Plan Nine from Outer Space. The leading man (Bela Lugosi) dies during production and nobody pretends to notice. Beat that!

No! not the worst movie ever! the best movie ever!
as goes the same for all, cheesy lame teenager "Bill and Ted" type movies, we cannot dis own theses movies people! We must make them a part of us, they are the ideal on which this country is based!


::End Hijack::
__________________
Mass Genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer. ~ Dogma
  #114  
Old 06-08-2003, 12:59 PM
TwungTister is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Unified States of America
Posts: 250
Quote:
Originally posted by Avarie537
CONGO
I read an article that said the ape/machine outdid the human actors. Since then I have enjoyed reading reviews. Being so bad turned it from a horror into a comedy and I loved it. The book is bad. It sounds like a string of quotations from newspapers. An ape being crucial in a human arms-race. Speaking gorillas. Right, we've overlooked a collection of Sasquatches. It was fun to read about media events that didn't happen, and mixing Amy with apes like Vicky and Koko, who were real.
__________________
"The gun's not in your hand, it's in my hand." -- Fight Club
  #115  
Old 06-08-2003, 01:21 PM
TwungTister is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Unified States of America
Posts: 250
Second the modern musical Pirates of Penzence.

Remake of Escape to Witch Mountain. Remade into something pretentious. You don't root for the kids - they don't seem as vulnerable, innocent or sweet. The kids' "powers" are displayed with special effects -- purple light -- and they added some dipshit about TWINS. Tia can talk out loud.
  #116  
Old 06-08-2003, 02:32 PM
jack@ss is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: salt lake city
Posts: 772
Quote:
3. Happiness. Do you get the feeling I don't like movies where there aren't any likeable characters? Well here's another one. The same director made Welcome To the Dollhouse, which is probably in my Top Twenty Worst. Depressing and disturbing and full of degenerates, the both of them.
Absolutely. I fell asleep during this piece of horseshit. I got my rental for free because I was working for movielink at the time, but I wanted my 2 hours back.
  #117  
Old 06-08-2003, 03:42 PM
raisinbread is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: PURPLEST PLACE ON EARTH
Posts: 749
Dark City. More like Dark Shitty!!! I have no idea how this film was made.
  #118  
Old 06-08-2003, 04:35 PM
astorian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: austin tx usa
Posts: 35,294
One of the very worst is...

Well, bear in mind that bad comedies are painful in a way that bad movies in other genres can never be. A bad romance, a bad horror flick, a bad drama, or a bad Western can all be fun in an "MST3K" way. But a bad comedy is different. A bad joke just sits there on the screen, lifelessly. A series of bad jokes just sucks the life and humanity right out of you.

Comedies just don't get worse than "Mr. Mike's Mondo Video" from former SNL writer Michael O'Donoghue.
  #119  
Old 06-08-2003, 04:45 PM
Evil Death is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 1,784
Quote:
Originally posted by raisinbread
Dark City. More like Dark Shitty!!! I have no idea how this film was made.
Because it's a damn good film, harmed only by the stupid bloody opening exposition that gives away every surprise in the movie.

To anyone who hasn't seen it and plans to - FF the video/DVD to the point where a man wakes up in the bath.
  #120  
Old 06-08-2003, 06:34 PM
Mirror Image egamI rorriM is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The lovely Midwest
Posts: 1,839
That stupid Corky Romano movie with Chris Kattan.

I mean, sure, there must be worse movies, but I sure haven't seen them!
  #121  
Old 06-08-2003, 06:36 PM
Zap_Rowsdower is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 825
I have so many it is scary, but to name a few not yet mentioned:

A*P*E
Mighty Gorga
Zombie Lake
Hell Squad
Starcrash
Doomsday Machine

I find all of these to be awful movies, however they are very entertaining and I can watch them repeatedly. I cannot say this about a lot of the mainstream stuff Hollywood spits out.
  #122  
Old 06-08-2003, 06:47 PM
Lupin the 3rd is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Central California
Posts: 16

Re: All time WORST movie


Quote:
Originally posted by Devron
So, we all know what our favorite movies are, how about your least favorite?
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever - This one was pretty bad. It's the worst movie I've seen in years.
  #123  
Old 06-08-2003, 07:31 PM
raisinbread is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: PURPLEST PLACE ON EARTH
Posts: 749
Surprises/spoilers aside, Dark City is still egregiously bad, pretentious, self-important and remarkably dull.
  #124  
Old 06-08-2003, 08:20 PM
amy shamon! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 20

first ever message!


i have to say:

Dude, where's my care? - Although I find it quite watchable, it was a baaaaad movie, the whole picking up the bottle top with your toe scene was embarrassing, it was like everything I dislike about Kenan and Kel episodes mixed up together.
For those who dont know, they are carrying a huuuuge bag of garbage from the aftermath of a house party and spot a bottle cap on the carpet on the way out, one of them takes his sock off and picks it up with his toes and then celebrates that he got it leading to being unsteady with the bag, popping it on an ornament and sprayin what apears to be chocolate sauce all round the room through the hole.

Another, is a film called Love Sucks, all I remember is it has Jennifer Love Hewitt in it and i rented it, i took it back soon after. It was immensely boring.

there are ohers but i don't remember them.

Peace out

amy
  #125  
Old 06-08-2003, 08:21 PM
amy shamon! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 20
sorry was supposed to be 'car' in that first sentence...
  #126  
Old 06-08-2003, 08:25 PM
Tars Tarkas is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: San Francisco, Mars :)
Posts: 5,496
Quote:
Originally posted by amy shamon!
sorry was supposed to be 'car' in that first sentence...
don't worry, it fits!
  #127  
Old 06-08-2003, 08:56 PM
skin2skin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 60
Well, there is a worse movie out there, and it probably hasn't been mentioned because I was the only idiot to rent it. It was a straight-to-video piece of crap called, "Sasquatch", starring Lance Henrickson.
The acting was terrible (Lance slept-walked through this one), the directing was even worse, and the dialogue was atrocious. Plus, the movie had no point to it at all. The only reason I watched it was because I was going to write a screenplay about Bigfoot, and I didn't want to take any ideas from any of the Bigfoot movies that had already been made. Needless to say, I had no concern about using anything from this.
  #128  
Old 06-08-2003, 10:53 PM
RikWriter is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: central Florida
Posts: 6,786
It's easy to pick on B movies, old and new, so I will refrain and instead only list major-release, big-budget movies with name actors.

McHales Navy with Bruce Campbell and Tom Arnold.
Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin.
Hear No Evil with DB Sweeny.
The Truth About Charlie with Mark Wahlberg.
  #129  
Old 06-09-2003, 12:55 AM
gyt_fx is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Washington
Posts: 252
Troll 2
  #130  
Old 06-10-2003, 02:24 AM
Hilarity N. Suze is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Denver
Posts: 8,310
Well, nobody has mentioned these yet. Fearless Frank, starring Jon Voigt. This is in that so-bad-it's-kinda-funny category along with C.H.U.D.. A female character named Plethora!

Mr. Holland's Opus. Dire. Missed all possible marks by a very wide margin, band scenes completely witless. Two examples: He's on his first day conducting a high school band. He pulls out a piece of music for them to play, to see how well they do. It's Beethoven's 5th symphony. Sure, that happened. Forget the scale in concert C, which would have told Mr. Holland (the dweeb!) that the band in question couldn't even handle a scale in concert C, let alone a symphony!. Second example: He helps a hopelessly incompetent (but cute!) redheaded girl, who's been playing clarinet for 3 years without notable progress, turn into Mr. Acker Bilt in one session using (I guess) "the think method" popularized by Prof. Harold Hill in The Music Man. I could go on but it's not worth it. Just hopeless. It should be on Imdb's top 100 worst list and it may be. For implausibility, bad acting, strained plotline, and overextended time span.
  #131  
Old 06-10-2003, 02:41 AM
Grousser is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Veracruz, Mexico
Posts: 525
Quote:
Originally posted by Muldoon III
Pulp Fiction - i love Quentin Tarantino movies, but this just sucked the lame ball for some reason
It seems we have some kind of paradox here... how can you love Tarantino movies and hate Pulp Fiction at the same time? Isn't that incoherent? It's like saying: "I love George Lucas films but I hate Star Wars IV: A New Hope"!
  #132  
Old 06-10-2003, 02:52 AM
Grousser is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Veracruz, Mexico
Posts: 525
I think these guys who mention films like "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", "The Phantom Menace"... well, they do this with a special feeling of attacking "the worst of the best". Even with mediocre movies like "Can't Stop the Music" or "Strip Tease", there is some level of quality that meet the filmmaking minimum standards.

There are thousands of bad movies, the reason because they are bad movies is linked to the reason they are unknown. You can watch many B-movies every night in cable channels...

Btw, "Plan 9 From Outer Space" was so bad and dumb, that now it's a cult classic, fact that reduce its rating as a "bad movie". In other words... it's so bad that it's very good. I prefer to watch "Plan 9" instead of, "The English Patient". In terms of fun, of course.
  #133  
Old 06-10-2003, 07:53 AM
Tarantula is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Dublin - Ireland
Posts: 605
Cyborg The only reason that this thread is still going is because some lucky people have never seen this crap-fest. Watch it and you can be safe - you'll never see a worse movie - EVER
__________________
Be heard, not herd.
  #134  
Old 06-10-2003, 08:04 AM
Dunderman is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 8,838
Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Death
Because it's a damn good film, harmed only by the stupid bloody opening exposition that gives away every surprise in the movie.
Not every surprise, but definitely most of them. I loved it despite the exposition but agree that the film would be vastly improved without it.

It's still wonderful, though. I love the sets, the mood, the nightmarish quality of it. Brilliant.
  #135  
Old 06-10-2003, 10:33 AM
Engywook is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 815
Starry Night. A truly horrible movie where a sweet, naive, innocent Vincent Van Gogh is resurrected in Los Angeles. So astonishingly bad that there's a survivor's group with a chapter in your home town.
  #136  
Old 06-10-2003, 11:09 AM
paulberserker is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: londonon, UK
Posts: 1,582
the Steve Martin remake of Bilko . i hated the original, and i hate this even more. what the hell were they thinking.
also, anything sandra bullock did after speed. worst actress ever.
'im kooky' and thoroughly unattracive to boot
__________________
www.ditcb.co.uk
  #137  
Old 06-10-2003, 12:49 PM
godzillatemple is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,598
To be fair to the originator of this thread, the OP makes it clear that he is asking for our "least favorite movies" and not really the "all time worst movie" mentioned in the title.

Having said that, I really do have to mention Highlander II
. Not just because it was a crappy movie in and of itself, with bad acting, bad effects, and a nonsensical plot, but because it aggressively spent the entire time undoing every single thing that made the original movie good.

Honorable mention has to go to a made for TV movie I saw last year called Disappearance, starring Susan Dey and Harry Hamlin. Basically, a family gets stuck in an old ghost town and all sort of weird things happen to them. Throughout the film, various theories are offered by people who live in a nearby town as to why these things happen: aliens, mutants, supernatural forces, etc. At the end:

SPOILER:
The family is finally able to leave the creepy town, but on the highway they are attacked by some unseen force and their car is flipped over. The next morning, they are back in the town, acting like they've lived there all their lives.


And what is the real reason behind everything? Who knows -- they don't bother to explain it! Talk about wasting two hours of my life!!!

Regards,

Barry
__________________
Licensed Member of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries, and Other Professional Thinking Persons.

"godzillatemple, I think I think as clearly as you...I just have trouble matching your clarity of expression." - Somnambulist

"Same here. It sounds so much BETTER when YOU think it!" - Kalhoun
  #138  
Old 06-10-2003, 01:50 PM
djbdjb is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 286
Do a search on "Santa Sangre" and Hamlet. At least the guy knows what he thinks.
  #139  
Old 06-10-2003, 03:01 PM
Marley23 is offline
I Am the One Who Bans
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 78,234
Quote:
No offense to anyone, but it's clear that many of the posters in this thread have never seen a truly BAD movie, only movies that they didn't like......movies that have many fans. In my opinion, a film can only be called truly bad when it's of such incompetence and so utterly un-entertaining that it has nearly no fans whatsoever. So, here's my choices.
Thank you, Keith Berry. A comically bad movie is FUN. A movie that is just dull and stupid is PAINFUL. In the interest of naming the latter, I'd nominate The Lonely Lady, which also stars Pia Zadora
SPOILER:
in fact, she gets raped with a garden hose by Ray Liotta
. Talk about execrable. There's a Japanese Star Wars ripoff called Message from Space that's mighty awful - it can be entertaining at points, like when the seeds from space turn out to be glowing walnuts, and when people exit their space ships and just float around with no suits, but mostly it just sucks.
__________________
"Wrong, but eloquent" - twickster
  #140  
Old 06-10-2003, 03:50 PM
Nephelium is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Dubai, UAE
Posts: 8
My list could go on and on....

- The English patient....borefest! I know alot of people would disagree on this one.

- Kangaroo Jack...enough said.

- Hearts in Atlantic...I loved the book, the movie was crappy!

- The Fast and The Furious...ok, the cars were cool, but the movie sucked big time. And who told Paul Walker he could act?

- The Truth About Charlie...Thandie Newton's BIG career mistake.

- Planet of the Apes...Another Mark Wahlberg disaster, Charlton Heston must be rolling in his grave.

- Titanic...I watched it once and I'll NEVER watch it again. But I gotta admit, the cinematography was beautiful...that's it.
  #141  
Old 06-10-2003, 04:36 PM
Evil Death is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 1,784
Quote:
Originally posted by Nephelium

- Planet of the Apes...Another Mark Wahlberg disaster, Charlton Heston must be rolling in his grave.
And him not even dead, too.
  #142  
Old 06-10-2003, 04:48 PM
Avalonian is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Last Place You Look
Posts: 2,526
Quote:
Originally posted by Big Bad Voodoo Lou
10. Dreamcatcher. This was like a bad episode of South Park, complete with a ridiculous alien invasion, Morgan Freeman as a crazed black-ops military leader, heroic childhood friends who got super powers from a retarded kid who was really a friendly alien, and monsters that crawled in and out of people's asses and looked like giant pieces of crap with sharp teeth.
Which, you might be surprised, pretty aptly describes the "shit-weasels" from the book.

By the way, thank you for that. I read the book Dreamcatcher with absolute disdain... I consider it King's worst novel, hands-down. I had intended not to see the movie, because the book was so bad. Then the trailers came out, and I almost wanted to see the movie, because the trailer made it look halfway-decent, and I had a sort of morbid curiosity to see if the movie could actually improve on the book. You make me glad that I never had the chance to blow the money on it. So... thank you.
  #143  
Old 06-10-2003, 05:07 PM
Malthus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto
Posts: 18,184
I can't believe that no-one has mentioned "Night of the Leapus" - a horror movie about giant radioactive killer bunnies!. And it is *not* campy, but dead serious.

Also, has anyone seen "The Terror of Tiny Town"? A Western 'singing cowboys' movie - with (I shit you not) an all-dwarf cast. Pure shit-tastic.
  #144  
Old 06-10-2003, 05:10 PM
jack@ss is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: salt lake city
Posts: 772
Chuck Heston was in it, too. He played Tim Roth's dying father.
  #145  
Old 06-10-2003, 05:14 PM
jack@ss is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: salt lake city
Posts: 772
Quote:
Originally posted by jack@ss
Chuck Heston was in it, too. He played Tim Roth's dying father.
By "it" I meant Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes Starring Marky Mark.

Damn me straight to hell for not previewing!!!
  #146  
Old 06-10-2003, 09:22 PM
MyFootsZZZ is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,888
anyone ever see "The Sweetest Thing"
  #147  
Old 06-11-2003, 12:21 AM
Zander is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Tochigi prefecture, Japan
Posts: 49
I know these are both decent movies by decent directors-- great directors, even-- and all the acting was fine and the production values are fine, it's all fine-- but I could not STAND either AI or Vanilla Sky.

Ok, sorry-- there's spoilers in here.

AI was really interesting and cool for the first third, until the little boy gets put out in the wilderness or whatever; then the middle third was OK if you forget the first third and just watch it as a summer "run from here to there while bad people chase us" kind of movie; but the last third, well, it felt like when a four-year-old is telling you a story, and it just never seems to end. "And then, I got in a ship and flew to the submerged city. And then my friend got sucked away. And then I met the guy who made me. And then I jumped off a building. And then I saw a blue fairy. And then I just sat there talking to the goddamn blue fairy for a million years. And then the aliens found me.... and so on and so on. I just bugged my eyes out and stared at the screen, not believing that this movie was still going. And it wasn't even really that long of a movie. I mean, Magnolia (which I loved) was too long, but at least it had a rain of frogs to wake you up at the end and tie it together, but this just killed me.

Vanilla Sky looked good, and minute to minute it was well done. I didn't like the characters, but that doesn't necessarily ruin the movie. But toward the end, when we start to realize that he's in some sort of computer-generated dream world, and that he's been dreaming the last part of the movie, I thought: there wasn't enough established to allow us to believe that this kind of technology existed, particularly since accepting a major plot point hinges entirely on it. But even then, I thought, all right, so the technology exists. Not very well established, but what are you going to do? Might as well enjoy the rest of the movie. But then we find out his secret and his friends are figments of his imagination, his psychiatrist is his dad and a few other people put together, everyone's been dead for a hundred years, we all know what's going on, and the movie still goes on for another 20 minutes! WHY ISN'T THIS MOVIE OVER? TURN OFF THE CAMERA! TURN OFF THE CAMERON! Why do we just keep going on and on and on? I knew it was trouble when Steven Spielberg had a cameo in the main character's birthday party (I'd seen AI just weeks before). I don't know. It's like that guy at a party who likes hearing himself talk.

Oh, and please don't tell me I don't get Vanilla Sky. I freakin' get it. They spent the last half hour of that thing explaining it ten times. Got it. Frozen. Dreaming. Tech support. Psychiatrist. Vanilla-colored sky. Got it, got it, got it.
  #148  
Old 06-11-2003, 06:05 AM
Odinoneeye is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The other side of Bifrost
Posts: 2,947
I'll agree with you, Vanilla Sky was awful. I'm also glad someone mentioned Moulon Rouge.

I had a friend who always used to drag me to $1.00 movies, he said you can't go wrong.

WRONG!

He made me see Gymkata, a martial art gymnist movie and Night of the Comet.
  #149  
Old 06-11-2003, 06:42 AM
TeaRoses is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Southern California
Posts: 447
I'm not a regular poster here, but I hope no one minds if I pop in to vote for a very old movie called "Up In Arms" with Dinah Shore. I sat all the way through it on television and I am still wondering why. I will admit that most of the movies in this thread I have not seen so they are probably worse.

(I must also admit that my friend and I walked out of Punch Drunk Love after half an hour. It could have been us though.)
  #150  
Old 06-11-2003, 06:42 AM
Leechboy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 275
I will always offer up these as the single worst I've seen -

Hugo Pool - Directed by Robert Downey Sr. as a tribute to his wife, who died from Lou Gehrig's disease. And of course the best tributes take the form of 1. A long lingering closeup of Alyssa Milano's ass as she reaches into her truck. 2. Malcolm MacDowell shooting up using a hand puppet. 3. Sean Penn, the finest actor of his generation as a leprecaun 4.Robert Downey Jr. trying his hands at another accent 5.Richard Lewis. (Sorry, but outside of Curb Your Enthusiam, Lewis is a surefire indicator of how awful a movie will be.)


Voyage of the Rock Aliens - Why ? 1. Pia Zadora 2. Musical 3.Jermaine Jackson. Goodnight.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:46 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017